I have issues

[Shard the Gentleman 2,891]

I think there may be an issue with me. I think I hate school too much. Life is to short, and the time we spend in school I will never get back. EVER. I mean, its a fact of life, I have to attend it, but my hatred for it just makes me want to drop out. My hatred for it outgrows my knowledge that it leads to a better life.

But What is a "better life"? Going to work from 6am to 5pm, working weekends in a horrid environment, never getting free time, losing even more sleep than I am now? Why would I consider that better? If life is just going to be a big hell hole the rest of my life, why-

You know what? I can't think that way because people will thing I am more insane than they already do. I'm a Junior in high school, but I've hated school for a long, long time. I was forced to face the facts of life in 6th grade. That life is going to suck as soon as I get out of high school. But life already sucks already, and I'm not even a senior? This whole thing just makes me mad and depressed. The people that are "normal"? The assholes who this generation consider "normal" aren't even worth talking to! All they do is
"YOLO SWAG LOL"
and be a nuisance to everyone around them never mind, everyone around them are considered "normal" and they do the same firetrucking thing, so I guess they are only a nuisance to me! My friends help me pull through, but I have not one single physical friend anywhere remotely near me! I used to have friends in my middle school, but was forced to part ways with them and "Get over it?" GET OVER IT?! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET OVER THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY FELT THE SAME WAY I DID? ALL MY FRIENDS ARE SCATTERED ACROSS THE WORLD, AND ODDS ARE I WILL NEVER MEET THEM!

And I'm not exaggerating. I really have no person to talk to, to laugh with, or anything of the sort near me besides my family, and hell, we all know that they have no time for me with all of them having jobs. Which brings me back to the first subject. If having a "good job" will "somehow" make my life better, why won't I have enough time to spend with my family, or myself? Seriously! Dammit. I really firetrucking hate life. I really do. The whole thing, the whole situation just rises my stress levels. That's all that it seems to do for me.

I'm sorry, I just needed to get this out of my system and I obviously can't tell anyone else because I don't have anyone else to tell.

Edited January 4, 2013 by Tycen

[Geralt 4,874]

Ahhhh, I hate school too Maybe you should do homeschool! I hear that puts an ease on everything  

[Weiss 8,279]

wow. I know that feeling, kinda. School unfortunately is something we have to go through one way or another to be able to do what we want in life. It is very very hard at times.Just keep pulling through or maybe even try another school if you need to. Best of luck with everything.

[Caity 3,946]

I too hate school (I have til June left though and then I'll be off to University, I've got 3 offers so far for different unis ).  And not just the everyday "sure everyone hates school but you'll miss it when you leave" literally everyone in it, are spoilt, self-centered, judgmental, bitchy jerks.  Seriously, since i'm so shy, people generally think i'm focusing on something and can't hear them when there about 3 chairs (in a computer room) away from me.  I hear them all slabbering about people behind their backs then calling them their best mate to their face.  Even though I have some good friends, it doesn't really offset how unwelcome and out of place you feel.  Right now my actual circle of friends (excluding those in my class, the one who I used to call my best friend in the year below) has changed so much and the more I hang out with her the more I realize she is the biggest bitch I have ever met in my life, clearly being in the wrong in arguments, but instead of apologizing she gets everyone she knows to basically black list the person she's fighting with, so if you fight with her you fight with basically everyone else in the friend circle, I can't wait to move on and go to Uni.  But then I worry I'll start and just make no friends.

^ I ended up going on my own rant

 

I'm sure you have your up days as well as your down days though.  Surely you can manage til you finish school, if not have you considered changing school before you become a senior?  

[Shard the Gentleman 2,891]

wow. I know that feeling, kinda. School unfortunately is something we have to go through one way or another to be able to do what we want in life. It is very very hard at times.Just keep pulling through or maybe even try another school if you need to. Best of luck with everything.

 

 

I too hate school (I have til June left though and then I'll be off to University, I've got 3 offers so far for different unis ).  And not just the everyday "sure everyone hates school but you'll miss it when you leave" literally everyone in it, are spoilt, self-centered, judgmental, bitchy jerks.  Seriously, since i'm so shy, people generally think i'm focusing on something and can't hear them when there about 3 chairs (in a computer room) away from me.  I hear them all slabbering about people behind their backs then calling them their best mate to their face.  Even though I have some good friends, it doesn't really offset how unwelcome and out of place you feel.  Right now my actual circle of friends (excluding those in my class, the one who I used to call my best friend in the year below) has changed so much and the more I hang out with her the more I realize she is the biggest bitch I have ever met in my life, clearly being in the wrong in arguments, but instead of apologizing she gets everyone she knows to basically black list the person she's fighting with, so if you fight with her you fight with basically everyone else in the friend circle, I can't wait to move on and go to Uni.  But then I worry I'll start and just make no friends.

^ I ended up going on my own rant

 

I'm sure you have your up days as well as your down days though.  Surely you can manage til you finish school, if not have you considered changing school before you become a senior?  

I've tried. In my area, you can only transfer if you move, or that school has a class that no other school has to offer. My dream school is in the next city over, so I tried applying there (latin was available only there) and I was denied for one reason..."Latin is now available online."

[catmaster0116 2,676]

I sorta went through this phase directly after I finished senior highschool because It appeared that I lost most of my cherished friends ~ as for a better life in uni/work, it also really depends on which uni you go to or what career you choose to undertake.

 

To be honest, When I was in junior highschool I was a true loner and it wasn't until mid juniour highschool to senior highschool in which I made some of my best friends. Friends are people who will come and go, but the thing is you will never forget them and there are alot of people out there who can be just as good a friend: the more you make the more your circle increases.

 

When I first got into university, I was the only person from my school to make that university and it was really depressing since everyone else knew at least one other person from the year (IMO). I ended up not opening up to anybody for almost a year, and in that time I decided to start learning and making music to fill the emptiness inside. But give things time and they'll start to ripen, im graduating from university this April and between my first year and now there were some really great people I've had a chance to meet.

 

"I hate hate school too much" - Surely theres a reason for dislike, many times I hear from people (and from personal experience) its because of the behaviour of others OR the teacher treats everyone as dumb OR its simply the environment where it makes it feel suffocating

"time we spend in school I will never get back" - Yep...but don't drop out - be strong and live through it

"Normal people" - Please, I'm gen Y....I have reason to believe some gen Z people are not normal

"YOLO SWAG" - I hear enough from my younger brother...enough said

 

And I know, losing friends like this isn't something you can brush off and it will take time for it to heal. But know, that it doesn't mean they are eternally gone - as long as they all still live on earth, you'll still be able to find them (Go overseas for a holiday when you get the chance and meet them etc ~) Also as much his world is small, its filled with all kinds of people - if you give it time you will meet others who also feel the same way as you do too.

 

As for jobs...its not my favourite topic ~ I have enough troubles with my current one and my next one

 

Everyone has their blues, its how we deal with them is important

Give things time, things may seem unhappy at the moment but know that it doesn't mean it will last forever, theres bound to be light at the end of the tunnel.

 

All the best!

 

from Ex-catmaster0116

[Dracozombie 4,554]

Luckily, I came from a school where everyone did their own thing and anyone who acted like a prick got treated as such.  I'm also lucky I'm not in your generation, as I entered (community) college before things apparently went to hell in the non-college school systems.

 

One thing I can say is that high school provides zero examples of what real life is like.  Believe it or not, working through the grind in real life actually has tangible benefits that you can enjoy.  In school, you're put through stress and work so you can get letters on a report card.  Sure, the consequences for failure in school are pretty slim, but that comfort comes with the price of no reward for your success except the assumption you'll be able to succeed more down the line.  Unless your parents pay you good money for good grades, bragging rights are little compensation for the hell students are put through.  At least a job, even if it's boring, provides you something you can use.  High school sucks because you have a workload of any and sometimes exceeding that of the average adult, but none of their rewards for toughing it out.  The reason people tell you to put up with high school is that it's four years of your life out of, I guess, eighty.  That's a lot to sacrifice because you couldn't put up with four years of hell.  A college degree isn't a guarantee for a good job, but it's better to have one than not because it gives you an advantage on your resume.  Given the choice between two or more equally qualified employees, things like degrees and past job experience will be the deciding factors.

 

And not all jobs are "horrible environments."  Even if you don't enjoy your job, per se, and many people don't, many other people tolerate theirs just fine--at the least, they don't dread getting out of bed in the morning.  Thing is, they put up with their job to survive.  Some of them survive better than others, and depending on what they do, they have enough free time and money that makes the grind worth it, or at least, more tolerable.  When you have less free time, you tend to find ways to manage what you have better.  Your job might or might not be a grind, it might or might not be something you can tolerate, but supporting yourself gives you a freedom high school can't.  In the real world, you earn your keep.  Consequences for failure can be harsh, but at least you understand and desire what it is you're busting your ass off for.  Trust me, that kind of motivation can make you put up with more than you might expect from yourself.  High school can't give you that motive.  They make you do things because you're "supposed to."

 

In short, high school bites, college/university rocks (if you can afford it and you don't dick around), and life gets tougher but so does your strength to go through with it.

[Lu Xun 2,069]

Man, I felt like you do about school until last year. Until 5th grade, I had a lot of great friends. But when I returned to school next year, they all were gone. From that year til the last year of middle school, my life became horrible. The last year, which was 2011, was the worst of all. I felt truly lonely, and I was sad all the time.

 

Then, I took part in a competition, where from like 4,000 only 500 would pass. Thankfully, I passed. 2012 was my freshman year at high school, and I made a lot of new friends. I met some great people, and now, even though I spend like 12h at school during three days of the week, it's still an awesome place to be.

 

I'd suggest you change schools, or try your luck at university. Well, I hope you see things more positively.

[Shard the Gentleman 2,891]

Guys, I appretiate you trying, but it really isn't like that. You're so close though. I can't explain what I'm going through any better than I did.

[Mystics Apprentice 2,397]

Sometimes I feel like that about my life.  I'm unhappy with where I'm at in it, but I think to myself, "If I wasn't doing x and y, and doing z and a instead, would it really make me happy?"  The answer is probably not, there'll always be something I don't have, or somebody's life will always seem better.  But that's life.  It's painful, but true.  We're each given our own set of tasks in this world, and sometimes they just seem almost awful/impossible.  Trust me, I got very caught up in the same way of thinking that you're describing.  And one thing's for sure, if you continue to view things that way, like life's not ever going to get any better and you hate it, you'll destroy yourself.

 

When I start to feel like life's hopeless and I hate everything going on around me and don't know of any way to make it better, I have to start focusing on the good.  Don't think "I wish I had that" but instead try to look at what you DO have, and how you can make things better.  Another thing would be to get an idea of what direction you might like your future to go.  If you have a goal in mind and it revolves around something you really enjoy, it'll help alleviate that hopeless feeling inside of hating your life so you can instead think, "Okay, this is my goal.  I don't like my life now but I'm working to a point where I'll like it."

 

And again, life's never truly kind to us.  Sometimes you'll get what you're wanting, and other times your face'll get shoved in the dirt.   I don't know a single person who's truly happy with their life except for those greatly dedicated to religion, and I suppose that would be because they've found their goal and happiness in life.  Try to come up with goals for yourself and find things you enjoy, and also try not to focus too long on thinking your life can't get better.  This was the mind-set I was stuck in for a while just recently, and it's truly awful.

 

It's hard to make friends in real life, especially if you're the quiet type or don't share common interests with classmates.  To be honest, friendships are kind of overrated sometimes, but they are definitely nice to have.  Just having a person your age to hang out with and chat to is nice.  Sadly, I've got no suggestions on making friends because I myself have the same issue, but all I can offer is try to get involved in activities around/outside school that you're interested in.  It's possible you might find some people with similar interests.  Just keep trying, and remember you've got your online friends here to be there for you!  I wish you all the best, and if you ever need to chat or vent feel free to PM me.

[kalnet 1,198]

Guys, I appretiate you trying, but it really isn't like that. You're so close though. I can't explain what I'm going through any better than I did.

 

Everyone is bound to have that feeling of hating school at one point. You may lost friends at one point but you will also gain another at some point in the future.

 

I'm going to tell you a little bit about me.

 

Until today, for the past 2 and half years, I've been postponing my studies from my university to focus on my family matters. All my friends already graduated and have jobs right now. I'm still studying. They are far away from me and I can't get to meet up with them, but they at least supported me no matter how far they are from me.

 

I envy them so much that they're able to go on with their lives and have good jobs. Some of my friends are even married right now. I have yet to graduate and it's gonna take another 3 years for me when I resume my studies later this year.

 

Be lucky you're still able to go to school and meet new people. I still can't right now and hopes to be able to resume my studies again this year which is finally happening in a few months time and I couldn't be happier.

[Amon 4,279]

Everyone hates school at some point. I think your main problem comes from feeling left out. Be friendly and open with people and eventually you'll make friends. And don't be afraid of making friends with the girls too, you'll find a lot more in common with them than you might think. 

[Shard the Gentleman 2,891]

Its not even just that I hate school. I hate everything. People. Myself. Life. Everything. I try to get over it, but when I do, everything goes to shit again. I'm going to be honest with you guys, and I have NEVER told anyone this before, but I have tried to kill myself multiple times. Twice at school. Everytime though I get this thought that says "Hey, you're gonna feel better in time!" but I never do! Ever! The only time I am happy is when I am on here. And don't get me wrong, I try to be social, but no one around is worth even talking to, let alone mentioning. They really firetrucking annoy me, and I don't cuss that often. They really firetrucking annoy me. I annoy myself. Why can't I be normal? What is so wrong with me that I have so much trouble meeting decent people? Why am I so firetrucking insane that I want to kill myself almost every single say? I really hate myself, and I think if some miracle doesn't happen soon, I'm going to have to deal with my depression my entire life, either that, or I'll end it myself. I've felt like this for a long time. When I talk to you people and sound happy and such is just me hiding my depression. I'm always depressed. I hate myself for being depressed all the time. Why can't I be normal?

[Mystics Apprentice 2,397]

Its not even just that I hate school. I hate everything. People. Myself. Life. Everything. I try to get over it, but when I do, everything goes to shit again. I'm going to be honest with you guys, and I have NEVER told anyone this before, but I have tried to kill myself multiple times. Twice at school. Everytime though I get this thought that says "Hey, you're gonna feel better in time!" but I never do! Ever! The only time I am happy is when I am on here. And don't get me wrong, I try to be social, but no one around is worth even talking to, let alone mentioning. They really firetrucking annoy me, and I don't cuss that often. They really firetrucking annoy me. I annoy myself. Why can't I be normal? What is so wrong with me that I have so much trouble meeting decent people? Why am I so firetrucking insane that I want to kill myself almost every single say? I really hate myself, and I think if some miracle doesn't happen soon, I'm going to have to deal with my depression my entire life, either that, or I'll end it myself. I've felt like this for a long time. When I talk to you people and sound happy and such is just me hiding my depression. I'm always depressed. I hate myself for being depressed all the time. Why can't I be normal?

Wow, this sounds exactly like me about two months ago.  I know *exactly* how you feel, because I've thought the same exact thing.  I hated life, I hated myself, I hated the way things were going.  I just wanted to do a complete 360 with my life and change everything about it.  There were also times I thought--no, I *do* think--that my life isn't ever really going to get better.  I'm always going to be in the same rut I'm in, and I'll never find the happiness I'm seeking.  Suicide was something I've "deeply" considered, but I never actually made an attempt.  You must be truly struggling right now, and I'm so sorry to hear that.

 

I wish there was some word of advice that I could truly offer you, but all I can really say is "do not give up."  You'll have your ups and downs, but I promise life is worth living.  The real object is to find something to live for, something that makes your life seem worth it to you.  You've got to live for yourself, as well as *with* yourself.  I don't know if you have self-esteem issues, but that was where a lot of my own depression came from.  I don't have good friends, and I thought it meant there was something wrong with me.  That I was less than everyone else.  If you find self-worth in yourself and find a good reason to live, and maybe find a good place in society where you belong, you might just find a small ounce of happiness with it.

 

This probably has already come to mind, but you might want to consider medication or an herbal remedy like St. John's Wort for depression.  I take an herbal combination and, once I found the right one that works for me, my depression level has become tolerable.  Some weeks kill me, but for the most part I'm like 40% better.  It just takes that last edge off me when life starts to seem hopeless and not worth living.

 

Just know that you're not alone; I truly feel your pain, because I've really been there (and sometimes am there).  I just wish there was an answer to this, but really, all I can say is keep on plowing through.  There'll be times where life doesn't seem worth living and that nothing will be right, but there'll be others that'll make you glad you didn't end your life.  I know it sounds cheesy, but it's really true.

Edited January 6, 2013 by Mystics Apprentice

[Shard the Gentleman 2,891]

Wow, this sounds exactly like me about two months ago.  I know *exactly* how you feel, because I've thought the same exact thing.  I hated life, I hated myself, I hated the way things were going.  I just wanted to do a complete 360 with my life and change everything about it.  There were also times I thought--no, I *do* think--that my life isn't ever really going to get better.  I'm always going to be in the same rut I'm in, and I'll never find the happiness I'm seeking.  Suicide was something I've "deeply" considered, but I never actually made an attempt.  You must be truly struggling right now, and I'm so sorry to hear that.

 

I wish there was some word of advice that I could truly offer you, but all I can really say is "do not give up."  You'll have your ups and downs, but I promise life is worth living.  The real object is to find something to live for, something that makes your life seem worth it to you.  You've got to live for yourself, as well as *with* yourself.  I don't know if you have self-esteem issues, but that was where a lot of my own depression came from.  I don't have good friends, and I thought it meant there was something wrong with me.  That I was less than everyone else.  If you find self-worth in yourself and find a good reason to live, and maybe find a good place in society where you belong, you might just find a small ounce of happiness with it.

 

This probably has already come to mind, but you might want to consider medication or an herbal remedy like St. John's Wort for depression.  I take an herbal combination and, once I found the right one that works for me, my depression level has become tolerable.  Some weeks kill me, but for the most part I'm like 40% better.  It just takes that last edge off me when life starts to seem hopeless and not worth living.

 

Just know that you're not alone; I truly feel your pain, because I've really been there (and sometimes am there).  I just wish there was an answer to this, but really, all I can say is keep on plowing through.  There'll be times where life doesn't seem worth living and that nothing will be right, but there'll be others that'll make you glad you didn't end your life.  I know it sounds cheesy, but it's really true.

Thanks. A lot. This is a little helpful. From what you have described, it sounds like you pretty much live my life. I wont give up hope just yet.

[Mystics Apprentice 2,397]

Thanks. A lot. This is a little helpful. From what you have described, it sounds like you pretty much live my life. I wont give up hope just yet.

No, really; I can truly understand where you're coming from.  I'm glad to hear that you won't give up just yet.  If I can ever help just let me know.