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Found 5 results

  1. Oh boy, another review! It's been so long since I've had the drive to do one of these. Well, except Donkey Kong Country of course because I obviously meant every word of that. For realsies. Anyways: I'm a huge fan of Tekken, if I haven't made that clear before, and I'm all abuzz with anticipation now that Tekken 7 is coming out soon. Still working on getting that PS4 though. Because of that, I went back across Tekken content gone past and I decided to check out this little gem right here. I hadn't seen it beforehand and had only heard about it in passing and saw images of it online, so I was fairly optimistic... boy, was that wasted effort. Much like this movie as well. I honestly don't know what I was thinking at the time. Much like other video game series, adapting Tekken from the consoles to the big screen has always resulted in mixed results. A total of four films have been released, and I had already seen two others beforehand, the first being the 2009 live action film and the 2011 "Blood Vengeance" tie-in to the second Tag game, and both were pretty much stinkers too (although the latter is still probably the best of the bunch by not by much). The only film that I haven't seen being the sequel to that live action one, but uh, not breaking my neck over seeing that. Back to this film: this was released in 1997 right before the release of Tekken 3 in order to promote the game, and possibly to cash in the success of the Street Fighter II movie released earlier under the simple name "TEKKEN" (later "Tekken: The Motion Picture for its English dub release by ADV and spoiler warning, the dub is cheesy and lame so I'm not going to go into detail about it. Imagine that, a 90s anime english dub being bad, what are the odds). It adapts the main story of the first game, but also shoves in a bunch of elements from the second game haphazardly. For those who don't know, the basic story of the first Tekken game centers around the King of Iron Fist Tournament sponsored by the Mishima Zaibatsu where fighters compete in matches for a chance to defeat the Zaibatsu's leader Heihachi Mishima and earn a large sum of prize money. One of these fighters is Heihachi's son Kazuya who aims to take revenge on Heihachi for throwing him off a cliff at the age of give in order to test his strength. Sounds like it has potential to be a kickass thrill ride, right? Well sorry, but you get this instead. Okay, without further ado: FIGHT!
  2. || AN ORIGINAL STORY BY FIRAGA SENSEI || ----- Never in this year has there been a more tragic string of deaths. Gonna be honest with you, I thought we’d be able to get off scot free by today, but unfortunately this passing morning decided to take one more life from us. “Give me a minute,” international pop sensation Rick Astley said, passing by his group of bodyguards onto enter the nearby hotel lobby restroom, hoping to relieve himself before taking off on the next wild adventure of his stupendous life, but unfortunately, that was not the case. You might asking now what happened to him, and according to the reports, he was assassinated on the toilet by a jaded individual who had been internet trolled one too many times, and where is he now? Up there with God, Jesus, and all the other holy icons of the world. Never in a million years have I witnessed such a travesty, even for a string of unfair passings-aways like this year has produced. Gonna be honest again, this year has let me down, and it’s not just me either. Let down are the masses and masses of fans that Mr. Astley has gained both ironically and unironically (but mostly ironically) throughout the years. “You are just exaggerating,” you might say, but no! Down with your unabashed ignorance! Never has there been such a unique and capitalizing talent among the pop world as this man! Gonna just shit on his legacy like that, oh-ho, not today, mister. Run all your collective mouths as much as you want, but this man will be missed by not just his family, not just by his friends, but the millions upon millions of fans he has gained in his lifetime. Around the world, people have been singing his classic song in unison, the fake synthetic drums bursting through every street corner and shopping mall radio, people doing their best to mimic his iconic swaying and jiving from the music video, all done in tribute to one of the most memorable and influential names in pop. And as for 2016 for taking his man’s life along with all the others, I have the same feelings for you as everybody else: you make me sick. Desert you, I will, and so will everybody else by the time the clock strikes 12 later tonight… or at least it will for me since I live in an area where midnight hasn’t happened yet and plenty of other people have experienced it already, but as for the rest of us, your time is almost up, pal! You and your sins shall be cleansed, your follies forgotten and lost in the sands of time, and every single life you have taken will be laughing from their golden thrones in the world above as you squirm in agony at your impending demise… … Now, read the first line of each of those sentences. HAPPY NEW YEAR!! || THE END
  3. Yes indeed, for half a decade, I've been here on this site doing what I usually do which is, for the most part, making a fool out of myself. Hey, give some credit, I'm much better than I was in the first couple of years on here. Those who know me well might have recalled that I made a "Introduce Myself" thread a while after I joined to make up for the fact that I didn't do it as soon as I arrived as well as to reflect on my behavior up until that point, and I basically spent most of it making it clear that I wanted to slap Past Firaga in the face. That as well as make time travel bits because, of course, that's always original. Oh yeah, and then there's those stupid Respond With Meme threads I made, my dumb poetry, and how I typed literally every sentence with some kind of annoying font and color... I'm rambling, aren't I? Sorry, I don't want to make this too long, I don't really use this side of the forums as I prefer to keep most personal stuff under wraps, but I figured for this special occasion, I'd open up a little bit about my time here. Anyways: Five whole years. It's fascinating really, because five years ago, I wasn't very well versed in using the internet, at least for social reasons, and KH13 soon became my outlet for exploring how it all works. For the most part, I just knew KH13 as a news site, but after I decided to make my account, I was exposed to what I know now is a place for a community, an entire bevy of people to talk and interact with, and of course, a forum to do all sorts of things, Kingdom Hearts related or not. And yeah, like I mentioned, those who know me well know that I wasn't exactly the best person to hang around with when I first joined. I was immature, didn't really know how the forum worked, got into fights with other users and even the mods if I really looking for trouble... you're probably thinking, "Well shit, you do that now", and you know what, I take offense to that. I am an adult now, and I learn from my mistakes... most of the time... In all seriousness, I really do feel like I've changed from the little ragamuffin I was when I first joined. I know to some that I might come off as as abrasive or mean, but I really do appreciate the community that's built here and the people I've met in it. It's a place where I can talk, show off my talents, spread my opinions, and most importantly, it's a place where I can just be me. And you have no idea how much I really do appreciate that fact. So I thank you, KH13. Thank you for being an outlet for an guy who doesn't have many IRL friends and probably more time on his hands than he deserves for letting me come back here for five years. Here's to five more, and hopefully I won't burn the whole place down by then. Pun intended.
  4. || AN ORIGINAL STORY BY FIRAGA SENSEI || || BASED ON A TRUE STATUS UPDATE || ----- The world, or as we knew it, changed, almost suddenly, and quickly on the day that we all now know as "Day Of Duck." From there, ducks were all that were left. They ravaged the lands, took over the establishments, and all of the bread in the world was, at a time, wiped out. I myself, am a member of this new Duck race. My name is Duck Dodgers II, the son of the famous Duck war hero, Duck Dodgers. My father was a great Duck, but I will tell you more about him later. For now, let me focus on the origins. Ducks became the dominant force of life on Earth. Ducks began behaving like humans as well; they took jobs, lived in homes, and eventually, the first duck president was named on Duck Day 15, Duck Year 1 (November 15, 2014 in real time) -- Duck Washington. And at a time, things seemed to be peaceful. That is until segregation and discrimination grew between the ducks with white feathers and the ducks with black feathers. However, and thankfully, Abraquack Lincoln was elected as president in Duck Day 38, Duck Year 5 and helped established equality for the black feathered ducks, and all rights to ducks of all feather colors as well. Lincoln's reign was described as a true "duckocracy". Once again, an era of peace lasted for the duck kind. That is, until the Human-Duck War broke out. Yes, as it turned out, not all Humans were expunged from the Earth. Some of them survived and plotted revenge against the Ducks. Eventually, they raised an army and staged a coup against the Ducks. Both sides tore up the new Duck world, starting on Duck Day 210, Duck Year 12, in all countries: Duckstreet, Ducktopolis, Duckhaven, and the capital city Duckberg. Eventually, the Humans were defeated and called for surrender, but many Duck lives were lost, including President Abraquack and former president Duck Washington, and my own father, Duck Dodgers as well. He was a general in the war, and served our race well. I am very proud of him. After the war, I talked with one of my friends, a member of the Duck Army, Flash Duckstar. He was so nerve-racked after the war had ended. "I've seen pictures from the wartorn battlefields... bloodied bodies and feathers littered everywhere, the landscape itself shaped by the war... It was a horrible time...", he told me, holding the gun that he had used to move down countless Humans in his wings. However, the Ducks and Humans could finally shake hands and wing once more after forming a treaty, and the two species lived in peace together. But the next conflict came only one year later, when the Penguin Revolt occured, a revolted that ended in black, white, and red. What a great tragedy indeed, or should I say, "quackery". The Penguins, sick of the Duck's status as top bird, rose up to their status. It started with small groups of Penguins committing acts of violence against Ducks all over the world, and then the groups merged together to form their own Union, a union that would wage war with the Ducks for many moons. The Duck-Penguin War commenced on Duck Day 13, Duck Year 211, with the Humans siding with their Duck allies. Even more lives were lost, on all sides. Eventually, the Penguins gave in after a massive three year war, and once again, the now three species decided they would all live in peace. Yes, it seems that my race has made a habit of creating enemies and turning them into allies, only to create new enemies all over again. But maybe someday, there will come a time where the Ducks, the Humans, and the Penguins, along with all the other races of the world, can live in peace eternally. ----- || THE END ||
  5. || AN ORIGINAL STORY BY FIRAGA SENSEI || ----- Years ago, when the world was still new, God was sitting on his holy toilet. He had eaten too many burritos for lunch that day, so he was having a heck of a time getting it all out. He hadn't felt this bad since his son was put up on a cross... Pushing and pushing, he tried his best to make sure it all got out of his system. Unfortunately, for him, the load was too much for him to handle, and it actually got on the toilet seat. Getting up and wiping his holy ass with holy toilet paper, he noticed the stain on his seat. Some angels went to clean the holy stain, but God stopped them. He sensed something from the layer of poop on the toilet seat... Sticking his finger in the puddle of goop that lay on his seat, he tasted the brown substance that spewed from his holy bottom... God savored the taste... The angels looked like they were going to throw up, but God startled them with his booming voice: "This is delicious! I just knew that this would be delicious!" One angel whispered to the other: "You think God's right about this?" The other replied: "I don't know. He was right about that time he pooped out that other thing." "What was that called again?" "I believe it was called bacon." "Oh yeah..." So God proposed that this substance would become part of the world where his children lived. The question was, though: how? Then he got an idea. Years passed, and around the time that the year 1951 occurred, God decided to spread his new creation to a man named Pietro Ferrero, a simple baker from Alba who sold hazelnuts. He had one of his angels visit Ferrero in this sleep one day. The angel filled Ferrero's dreams with the idea of this new creation. The next day, Ferrero took what he remembered from his dreams and used his hazelnuts to create God's new food: a simple hazelnut spread. He initially called it "Supercrema", and began selling. Years later, Ferrero's son Michele would look to revamp his father's (or more likely Gods') creation by modifying the compostion of Supercrema in 1963. He attempted to sell the stuff beyond his home of Alba into Europe. The new product was renamed "Nutella". From then on and into today, Nutella is a most appreciated delicacy, renown all over the world. And with it's success, I'm sure it's applicable to say: "Thank God for Nutella." ----- || THE END ||
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