Okay so this is like a taste of what the story I'm trying to put together is like. It might be short but hey, I'm in the middle of a writer's block and I'm hopin' this'll give me some inspiration to get over it. Critisism is welcomed and please correct me with any grammatical errors.

 

'Why?'

 

That was the only thing Ren could think as he laid on the floor in a pool of his own red crimson blood. He did everything THEY told him to do; obeyed every order given to him without question. And for what? Just to be betrayed by the ones who he used to call his comrades? His friends? Ren coughed up more blood. Damn it, it couldn't end this way! It just couldn't! His vision started to blur as Ren continued to lose blood by the second. But before he completely blacked out, Ren saw a silhoutte of a person coming closer and closer to him, something which vaguely resembled one of the staffs that one of the high ranking wizards had in their hand.

 

'Looks like they sent one of their dogs to finish me off' Ren thought bitterly before his eyelids closed for he thought would be the last time.

 

... Wow that was short... anyways tell me what you think!

I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo confused but ot was good.

I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo confused but ot was good.

 

You could say its like one of those stories where you learn about the main character and their past as the story progesses

Should I continue this or not? Because I'm sure if I should

Yes, Continue it. It was amazing, and as far as I know, it didn't have any grammar errors. Can't see any crit to give.

Okay I'll continue it as soon as I can

Sounds good.

It seems like a good first start. I encourage you to keep writing

Chapter 1- Waking up to a New Day

 

Sunlight entered a small dark room, entering though the window. It was a young man who looked around the of 17 or 18 resting in a bed near said window. He had messy black hair with red tips that brushed against his shoulders. There were bandages wrapped around his head, neck and torso that were stained with what looked like dried blood. The young man stirred slightly, groaning a bit as the bright sunlight hit his eyes. He blinked a few time, trying to get rid of any remainig traces of drowsiness out of his emerald green eyes. The young man tried to sit up, but suddenly felt an unbelieveable amount of pain shoot through his entire being. He wonder where he was and how long was he unconcious for. Questions filled his mind when one important detail struck him.

 

He had no idea who he was.

 

Panic stuck him as fast as lightning. The young man sat up abruptly, before regretting doing so as pain coursed through his body. The only thing he remembered was his name, and nothing else. Really, what was he doing in order to recieve the types of injuries he had? The sound of the door opening snapped him out of his thought process and looked up to seen an elderly woman enter, holding a tray filled with medical supplies and looking at him with surprise written all over her face.

 

"Oh my, I didn't expect you to be up so soon Ren" she said as she placed the tray on the dresser next to the bed. The young man looked at the woman with a confused look on his face. "Um... excuse me ma'am, but do I know you?" he asked, his voice hoarse even to himself. The elerly woman looked at him, a bit shocked. He... didn't know who she was?

 

"Ren, you remember me?"

Sorry I haven't updated this story yet but school is taking away the brain cells i need to make the next chapter DX But i'm working on it and I'll try to post it up before the end of next week.... i hope

Its okay, take your time, no good story should be rushed.

I really liked it and I only found one error in it (Showoff) You said that he use to follow their commands. It should be used to. It would be considered past tense.

I really liked it and I only found one error in it (Showoff) You said that he use to follow their commands. It should be used to. It would be considered past tense.

 

Ok thanks for telling me, I'll go fix it

Np, now write more!!!! lol I want more

Np, now write more!!!! lol I want more

 

Okay okay, but since I'm gonna have to start night school soon (for failing a few classes, please don't ask lol) it might be a while before I post the chapter but I'm working on it. Do you think you can proof read it for me when I'm done typing it up?