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Posted

So, I'm planning to enter the GMV Awards 2011, and I'm entering the Best Emotion category.

 

I decided to work on a poem for my video.

 

It's going to be a Namora video and I highly recommend listening to

while reading since it will be the song I use.

 

The poem is writing in Namine's point of view you could say, but do to the song I'm using, if you know of Homestuck, it could be interpreted in her POV as well.

 

Or you could read it and not associate it with any characters, it makes just as much sense

 

Childish Daydream

If you found me on the brink of death

Would you stay by my side?

Would you hold my hand?

Would it be alright?

I’d be happy if the last I saw was you

Your shining eyes

Your bright smile

And your lips giving me a kiss goodnight

When I died

Did you even notice?

Did you even care?

Or did you just forget?

My missing body

And the absence of my voice

Where you saddened?

Or is that just another false hope?

Did you even find

The notes scattered around?

The clues I had left?

Or were they just lost?

They were my heart

Poured onto paper

They were my love

And they were my hope

The dream of us

The thought of us

My love for you

And everything you’d done

Did you even know

How much I cared for you

How I wished you were mine

How I wished I was yours

It was a childish hope

A childish dream

A childish love

A childish delusion

A little girl

Young and naive

Cradling my love

That wasn’t meant to be

The horror of death

Creeping up on me

Terrified of the emptiness

And loneliness beside me

So I had lain

Alone in my despair

Waiting for my saviour

You weren’t there

 

 

Since I want my poem to be perfect and emotion provoking, please please offer me advice to improve it (such as wording things differently, grammar, etc)

Featured Replies

For some reason, I think this should be made into a song.

It will sell millions.

Just sayin'.

 

I think you did a fantastic job. :3

  • Author

For some reason, I think this should be made into a song.

It will sell millions.

Just sayin'.

 

I think you did a fantastic job. :3

 

What if

What if I record it and make into lyrics for Serenade

aaaah ideas

 

Thank you ;u;

  • 1 month later...

sad, but so beautiful, i love it!

  • 1 month later...

Awesome! It reminds me of CoM, but I think that's good. Seriously, this is really good (good doesn't even describe it, but my vocab. is running dangerously low! xD)

 

If you made me one, you'd make a girl happy! xD Kidding... sorta. Awesome!

  • 4 weeks later...

I think it is an amazing poem

 

~And Namine does come to mind~

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