This is the story I created. Well, I'm not my sister (Gizelita), so don't expect anything great. Just for any reader to know, this story happens in mediaeval times.

Introduction

Atrox

Atrox are people from all over the world,

who have eternal scraps on their necks

it is a law of nature, an illness, a curse

all the those scraps got shape of an

First of all, you said that you would rhime, and this "poem" doesn't, and you said "... and only like this was can became..." shouldn't it be become? Continue sis, I promised I's let you.

The post has been edted sucssefully(:@). Gy, you wrote "I"s" instead of "I'd". (if you can't see Gy's spelling mistake means she has edited her post)

And I know I'm not good at poem making, you know that too!:D:D:D:D

Thank you, for reading, continue criticizing.

-------------------------------------------- Namin

i think is a great intro im not a great writer but for me is fine i be waiting for se more of this.

Thanks to all of you who read it. This is chapter 1

 

 

Chapter 1: The Atrox Council

 

She felt the rope around her neck getting tighter, covering the

I quit!!!I hate my intro,I hate the first chapter! I hate my idea! From now on,I'll be writng another story (with some elements from this one)

Thanks for reading and listening/reading to me now.

WHY it was so interesting i was wating for your next chapter.