DChiuch

Axel has been gone forever. It's been just me and Xion at the clock tower. While me and Xaldin explored Beast's Castle, we found something he wants to protect... Xaldin says that's a weakness, but I'm not so sure. What does it mean to care about something that much? I don't, so it's hard to wrap my head around the whole idea.

Today was my first vacation ever. I didn't know what to do with it. Axel said to do what I like, but all I like is having ice cream with my friends—so that's what I ended up doing. Axel leaves tomorrow for some kind of mission. Which reminds me—I still haven't given him the WINNER stick yet.

Today it was me and Xigbar. Axel and Xion went out on their own mission. Xigbar told me that Xion and me are "exceptional"—you know, like, special Nobodies. Because we can use the Keyblade? Work dragged on late, so I didn't make it up to the clock tower. I wonder if Xion and Axel made it. Those pictures started flashing through my head again on the mission. The boy in red... What's it all about? Maybe when Xigbar called me "special" he meant "crazy"... Seriously, though, is Xion experiencing the same thing? It feels weird to ask.

Every day, after work, the three of us have been going to our place on top of the clock tower to have ice cream. We don't talk about much, but I wouldn't miss these conversations for the world. I wonder if Axel and Xion feel the same way... Do the other Organization members have their own routines? It's hard to picture.

Today's mission was with Xion, in Beast's Castle. I tried loaning her my Keyblade, and she had no problem using it. That meant I had to fight without it, but we got the job done. Afterwards Xion remembered how to summon her own Keyblade, so I guess we're out of trouble. When we were done, we all had ice cream together.

I went to Agrabah today with Xion. We make a pretty good team now. Afterwards me and her and Axel talked about us and the other Nobodies. The ones who make it into the Organization are powerful enough to keep their memories... But me and Xion can't remember our pasts. What was I like?

Xemnas summoned us. Nothing he says ever makes sense to me. He showed us Kingdom Hearts, a big heart-shaped moon floating up there in the night sky, and said the human heart will never have power over us. Great...I guess? So why are we trying to get hearts again? Axel said I'll understand better once I have a heart, but I'm not so sure...

Me and Xion are working together now. The Genie we met in Agrabah said he and his friend Al are "inseparable." Axel told us best friends can be inseparable even if they're not always together, but it sounded like he wasn't too sure about it himself. I thought Axel knew everything. Oh well... That reminds me, those weird pictures flashed through my head again while I was in Agrabah. The guy in red I wrote about before... Has he been to Agrabah or something?

My job today was to help Axel find Xion. It turns out she had gone missing, but we managed to find her. We finally got to all have ice cream together, which was nice, but Xion can't use her Keyblade anymore. Axel says friends help each other out, so I'm gonna go on missions with her until she remembers how to work the Keyblade herself.

After I finished my mission I wanted all three of us to have ice cream, but I couldn't find Xion. It's been at least ten days since I've seen her. Axel said he'd ask Saïx what was going on. Speaking of Axel, I didn't see him at the clock tower today.

Me and Axel went to Agrabah. He seems different now that he's back from C.O. Ice cream was just the two of us today. I wonder when me and Axel and Xion will all get to have ice cream together.

After work, Axel turned up. Just like that, out of nowhere. I didn't know what to say. I thought we'd lost him for good. We went up to the clock tower and talked for a while. I told him about Xion. The choked-up sensation has gone away.

I sit up on the clock tower, but no one comes. Not Axel, not even Xion. That weird lump in my throat won't go away. Something else is bothering me. This is gonna sound crazy (good thing this is a private diary!) but these pictures keep flashing through my head. Not all the time, just sometimes... Ever since I collapsed. It happens when I'm awake, too—on missions—so I don't think it's a dream. Where are the pictures coming from?

It sounds like the worst has come to pass: the whole C.O. team, wiped from existence. It's hard to come to grips with the idea that Axel is gone. I feel...choked up? I don't know what you'd call it. I've never had this kind of sensation. I went up to the clock tower to have ice cream, but nobody else showed up.

I must have missed a lot. It's like I had the longest dream. I woke up to find a bunch of seashells by my pillow. I counted them—one for each day they said I was asleep. I was wondering who left them there, but then when I got to the clock tower, Xion gave me another one. I held it up to my ear, and I could hear the ocean... Why did it sound so familiar? The stuff I dreamed about felt strangely familiar too. I remember being in a white room with somebody the same age as me wearing red clothes...and then he sort of disappeared into the white. And there was a girl's voice—she said she knew I'd be "snoozing." Why would she know that? The voice was a little like Xion's.

I only remember part of this day. I heard somebody sent to Castle Oblivion was terminated. Saïx said it may have been Axel. I tried to ask Xigbar about it on the day's mission, and he said nothing's left of Nobodies once we're gone, because we have no hearts to leave behind. I don't remember much after that. They say I collapsed and wouldn't wake up...

Today was my third day with Xion. I've gotten to know a little more about her. That's right—she's a girl, with black hair, and she can use the Keyblade just like me! I took her out for ice cream afterwards, but I'm saving the WINNER stick. Axel deserves a reward when he gets back. Xion wants to have ice cream with us from now on. Maybe we'll be friends.

I teamed up with No. XIV again today. We finally talked a little—Xion even said my name for the first time. Afterwards I had ice cream by myself again. The lady at the shop said you can trade the WINNER stick for an extra bar. But I can't eat more than one.

Axel left before I woke up this morning. I never got to ask him about the ice cream stick. I was partnered up with No. XIV for today's mission. Xion wore a hood the whole time and wouldn't say a word to me. Come to think of it, I didn't have a whole lot to say, either. Afterwards I went and had ice cream by myself.

Axel is going to some place called Castle Oblivion. He told me because we're friends. He had to go home early to get ready, and after he left I noticed the word WINNER on my ice cream stick. I wonder what I won... I'll ask him when I see him tomorrow.

The other members have been teaching me more about how to fight and stuff. It's going, I guess. Every day after work, I've been meeting Axel at the clock tower to have sea-salt ice cream. It really is salty! But still sweet, too. How come it tastes so familiar?

Me and Axel went on a mission to Twilight Town. Afterwards, we went and had ice cream again up on the clock tower. He said friends do stuff like that. Or they laugh together. So does that mean me and him are friends?

The past few days, the other members have been showing me how to fight and do mission stuff. They also told me more about the Organization, and about myself. I still don't really get what a "heart" is. But apparently, it's a vital piece of who I am—so I've decided to cooperate. If I collect enough hearts, I can complete Kingdom Hearts. Then I'll be whole.

Axel and I went to Twilight Town today. He taught me a lot. Before we RTC'd (Returned To the Castle) we swung by the clock tower and had some sea-salt ice cream. Axel called it the "icing on the cake" after a successful mission. Well, except there was no cake—just the ice cream. I don't know what to write in this thing!

It's been a week since I got here. Saïx told me to keep a diary, but he said nobody would check it. What am I supposed to write about? Today they told us to go to the Round Room, where we met our new member, No. XIV. Was I like that when I first got here? I think I was. But I don't remember too well.