Posted October 28, 201014 yr Why didn't the little girl want to leave nursery school? She wanted to be a nurse. What is a dentist's favorite musical instrument? A tuba toothpaste. What do you say when a dog runs away? Dog-gone! What's the ideal weight for a mother-in-law? About 2.3 pounds including the urn. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved. What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? Does this taste funny to you? What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef thanks, I'll be here all night.
October 28, 201014 yr i like the one about the nurse, that was actually pretty funny. What do you call a black pilot? A PILOT YOU RACIST BASTARD!
October 29, 201014 yr Author What did the mermaid do last Sunday night? She went to sea a movie. What do termites eat for breakfast? Oakmeal. A man was waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor came and informed the dad that his son was born without a torso, arms, or legs. The son was just a head! But the dad loved his son and raised him as well as he could. Eighteen years later, the son was old enough for his first drink. The dad took him to a bar, tearfully told him he was proud of him, and ordered the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously, the boy took his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A torso popped out! The bar was dead silent, then burst into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begged his son to drink again. The patrons chanted, "Take another drink! Take another drink!" The bartender shook his head in dismay. Swoooop! Two arms popped out! The bar went wild. The father, crying and wailing, begged his son to drink again. The patrons chanted, "Take another drink! Take another drink!" But the bartender ignored the whole affair. By this time, the boy was getting tipsy. With his new hands, he reached down, grabbed the drink, and guzzled the last of it. Swoooop! Two legs popped out. The bar was in chaos. The father wept with joy. The boy stood up on his new legs. He stumbled to the left. He stumbled to the right. Then he stumbled through the front door and into the street, where a truck ran him over. The bar fell silent. The father moaned with grief. The bartender merely sighed and said, "He should have quit while he was a head."
October 29, 201014 yr The one about the nursery school was really funny, but some of them were so bad it made my brain hurt, or as my friend calls them, "BRAIN RAPE JOKES" he has a lot of those they are even worse then yours, but hes not trying to be bad at the jokes Seriously, a tuba toothpaste, that made my brain die multiple times
October 29, 201014 yr What's the ideal weight for a mother-in-law? About 2.3 pounds including the urn. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved. Those were my favourite two. ;D
Why didn't the little girl want to leave nursery school?
She wanted to be a nurse.
What is a dentist's favorite musical instrument?
A tuba toothpaste.
What do you say when a dog runs away?
Dog-gone!
What's the ideal weight for a mother-in-law?
About 2.3 pounds including the urn.
What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, they just waved.
What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown?
Does this taste funny to you?
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef
thanks, I'll be here all night.