my first story

 

Chapter 1:

Today I got this letter it was for my father.

A job but my father been die for 5 year (said our main character Akira).

guess I'll do this one for the old man.

the letter say I got to go to this mansion I guess I'll get my mom to take me it look like he was friends with my dad I think mom may know him too.

I like how it's sort of confusing how he's been dead, yet a letter is still recieved.

Just a few points to work on, though

- Spelling and grammar ( there's a spell checker (: )

- The chapter is.. really short. o.o;

I like how it's sort of confusing how he's been dead, yet a letter is still recieved.

Just a few points to work on, though

- Spelling and grammar ( there's a spell checker (: )

- The chapter is.. really short. o.o;

 

1): 8) what mystery is not confusing in the beginning

2): sorry about the spelling and grammar

3): I like to do it that way but I'll try to make a long chapter

 

BACK TO STORY

 

 

[align=left]Chapter 2:

Wait mom this lee guy got in a fight with dad 15 years ago that before I was even born.

The only reason I'm taking you to see him is because your going to try an solve mysteries like your dad did when he was a detective your father would be so proud oh we're here.

Mom can you leave me here I want to do this one be myself?

What if you ge..

(mom it's okay because like dad uses to said mysteries are my life also it may take a day or two to solve a mystery).

Akira mom just smile and said okay Akira...... be safe because your all your mom got now that dad die (she hugged Akira closely).[/align]

You do a screen play not a book, I would prefer if ya did it like so because then you could do such short chapters