Summary: A short songfic. Vanitas' Point of view throughout the BBS timeline.
Disclaimer : I don’t own Kingdom Hearts. Or the lyrics. Source to lyrics .
This fic is inspired from Hatsune Miku's Tawagoto Speaker (Joking Speaker). Only that I changed the Joking to 'Lying' instead. Link to awesome PV of the song
There is only one thing I understand. That in order to get away from this pain, I have to make the X-blade. I have to get him, that light that was stolen from me.[1]
By keeping these crammed feelings inside;
Each one, each one is killing me
They kept appearing, the Unversed. To think that such ugly thing came from me… no, I’m probably one of them too. Only that I had some sense. Only that I still had a goal to achieve. They were the creatures born from my negative emotions. One that represented my feelings.
Oh wait, do I even have ‘feelings’?
By only showing fake smiles of mine;
I hate, I hate all of these tears
Surely, I’m laughing because everything is so ‘funny’. This world is one big joke to me. Living, what the heck is living? Dying, I don’t care about death. Because, what I want is…
By hiding these crammed wounds inside;
They hurt, they hurt, silently
The conclusion is that you don’t
Even notice at all
I just need salvation[2]. I need that light that vanished from me. I need you.
Every word I hear you speak
Is tearing deep inside of me
I can tell that you don’t know
What really lies within my soul
Stupid. How could you be so clueless about us? How could you know nothing and yet… Why am I the only one suffering? Why…?
Why must you look so happy?
Don’t you feel anything at all?
The light had faded long before
It cannot guide me anymore
“I” keep being that “lie”
As only “I” can be
Perhaps…
Was I wrong? About you? Were you not me?
I can feel that you are me. But why didn’t you feel anything?
If there comes a day when you are
All gone, all gone, that’s fine with me
But still you would have left behind
All the scars, all the scars that won’t heal
It’s fine. Even if I killed you, I can still find another. I can find my own salvation without you.
“That really all you got? Man, you’re worthless… I’d be going against the master’s orders, but so what? As far as I’m concerned, your job here is done.”
I’ll end your life here and now. So that you’ll return to the deep sleep you once was, and take along the pureness of your heart to your dream. An eternal sleep. That’d be the best way.
Humph
Always the pathetic looks.
Just as it has always been
You simply turn to laugh at me
Somewhere deep inside my heart
I’ve hated this right from the start
He was showered with light. And I’m his darkness. It was probably fate. If that’s so, then… why would I be created? To what purpose am I created to be your darkness?
So that I could suffer and you lived happily?
Still, at that time, I…
Things like, “It’s too much to take,”
Is something I can’t articulate
“Please don’t do this, master! I’m not strong enough!” was what he said. But at that time I, I thought of the opposite. I’m not like him, I will follow that man[3]. I will make myself stronger. That was the resolution I made.
And I will be stronger.
And I will take you with me.
“I” will have to keep being that “joker”
Laughing, laughing
Save your friends, you said? It’s always about them. There was no mistake about it. The warm feeling in my chest, they came from you. No doubt about it. But when I felt it, it was hurt that I feel. Jealousy. Ha
I’m just as pathetic as you are.
All of those lies, all of those lies
By now, somehow, have they gone?
The X-blade will save me.
I thought that, once the X-blade had been forged, I’ll be freed from this pain. Then why? Why had it come to this?
…Don’t show me that face. I don’t need you pity me.
I still… feel pain.
But in the end, they don’t matter to me anymore.
I’ll be gone.
And you too.
Told you, Ventus, it will break your heart too.
Every word I hear you speak
Is tearing deep inside of me
Even me, each single part
Has hated this right from the start
“Whatever it takes, anything to save Terra and Aqua!” the words still echoed in my head.
[1] Vanitas is talking about how they were separated. In the novel, it was mentioned that he missed Ventus when Ventus was taken to Eraqus's place.
[2] I'm pretty sure that Vanitas didn't care about Kingdom Hearts at all. All he wanted was to join Ventus so that he could be freed from the pain he kept feeling from killing the Unversed that came from him.
[3] When Ventus was too scared to fight the Heartless, Vanitas knew that Ventus was scared, and despised their weakness. This was the reason he followed MX.
Title: Lying Speaker
Genre: Hurt/Comfort
Character(s): Vanitas, mentions of Ventus.
Rating/Warnings: Teen
Summary: A short songfic. Vanitas' Point of view throughout the BBS timeline.
Disclaimer : I don’t own Kingdom Hearts. Or the lyrics. Source to lyrics .
This fic is inspired from Hatsune Miku's Tawagoto Speaker (Joking Speaker). Only that I changed the Joking to 'Lying' instead. Link to awesome PV of the song
--------------------------------------------------------
There is only one thing I understand. That in order to get away from this pain, I have to make the X-blade. I have to get him, that light that was stolen from me.[1]
By keeping these crammed feelings inside;
Each one, each one is killing me
They kept appearing, the Unversed. To think that such ugly thing came from me… no, I’m probably one of them too. Only that I had some sense. Only that I still had a goal to achieve. They were the creatures born from my negative emotions. One that represented my feelings.
Oh wait, do I even have ‘feelings’?
By only showing fake smiles of mine;
I hate, I hate all of these tears
Surely, I’m laughing because everything is so ‘funny’. This world is one big joke to me. Living, what the heck is living? Dying, I don’t care about death. Because, what I want is…
By hiding these crammed wounds inside;
They hurt, they hurt, silently
The conclusion is that you don’t
Even notice at all
I just need salvation[2]. I need that light that vanished from me. I need you.
Every word I hear you speak
Is tearing deep inside of me
I can tell that you don’t know
What really lies within my soul
Stupid. How could you be so clueless about us? How could you know nothing and yet… Why am I the only one suffering? Why…?
Why must you look so happy?
Don’t you feel anything at all?
The light had faded long before
It cannot guide me anymore
“I” keep being that “lie”
As only “I” can be
Perhaps…
Was I wrong? About you? Were you not me?
I can feel that you are me. But why didn’t you feel anything?
If there comes a day when you are
All gone, all gone, that’s fine with me
But still you would have left behind
All the scars, all the scars that won’t heal
It’s fine. Even if I killed you, I can still find another. I can find my own salvation without you.
“That really all you got? Man, you’re worthless… I’d be going against the master’s orders, but so what? As far as I’m concerned, your job here is done.”
I’ll end your life here and now. So that you’ll return to the deep sleep you once was, and take along the pureness of your heart to your dream. An eternal sleep. That’d be the best way.
Humph
Always the pathetic looks.
Just as it has always been
You simply turn to laugh at me
Somewhere deep inside my heart
I’ve hated this right from the start
He was showered with light. And I’m his darkness. It was probably fate. If that’s so, then… why would I be created? To what purpose am I created to be your darkness?
So that I could suffer and you lived happily?
Still, at that time, I…
Things like, “It’s too much to take,”
Is something I can’t articulate
“Please don’t do this, master! I’m not strong enough!” was what he said. But at that time I, I thought of the opposite. I’m not like him, I will follow that man[3]. I will make myself stronger. That was the resolution I made.
And I will be stronger.
And I will take you with me.
“I” will have to keep being that “joker”
Laughing, laughing
Save your friends, you said? It’s always about them. There was no mistake about it. The warm feeling in my chest, they came from you. No doubt about it. But when I felt it, it was hurt that I feel. Jealousy. Ha
I’m just as pathetic as you are.
All of those lies, all of those lies
By now, somehow, have they gone?
The X-blade will save me.
I thought that, once the X-blade had been forged, I’ll be freed from this pain. Then why? Why had it come to this?
…Don’t show me that face. I don’t need you pity me.
I still… feel pain.
But in the end, they don’t matter to me anymore.
I’ll be gone.
And you too.
Told you, Ventus, it will break your heart too.
Every word I hear you speak
Is tearing deep inside of me
Even me, each single part
Has hated this right from the start
“Whatever it takes, anything to save Terra and Aqua!” the words still echoed in my head.
Must be nice…
Having someone to look after you.
If you are the one that’s right
I may as well give up and die
“I” keep being that “lie”
Because I know, after all, it is me
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Notes :
[1] Vanitas is talking about how they were separated. In the novel, it was mentioned that he missed Ventus when Ventus was taken to Eraqus's place.
[2] I'm pretty sure that Vanitas didn't care about Kingdom Hearts at all. All he wanted was to join Ventus so that he could be freed from the pain he kept feeling from killing the Unversed that came from him.
[3] When Ventus was too scared to fight the Heartless, Vanitas knew that Ventus was scared, and despised their weakness. This was the reason he followed MX.
Again, thanks for reading =)