I'm writing this little RokuShi one-shot, but I want to make sure if it sounds good so far. Criticism please? This is only a small part of it though, but is it good so far or do I need to make it better?
.x.X.
Hey, Xion. How's it going?
That's how I usually greeted you, wasn't it? You'd say "Good morning, Roxas." and life would go on– you know, our usual routine. The routine where we head to the Grey Room, start our mission, and then head towards Sunset Station for Sea-Salt Ice Cream. Well, our non-existed life, of course.
But that's not how it is now.
Because you're gone.
For good, this time. And you're not going to come back anytime soon.
Even after Saïx had tried to get rid off you during one of our missions, claiming that Xemnas had ordered him to, Axel had saved you, and we hugged. I was extremely thankful for that, and don't think I can ever repay Axel for that.
Not to mention that I still own him that ice cream bar...
Point is, you're gone now.
But why?
Why can't you come back, and stay with me? Is it because I had done wrong after your disappearing? Was it because you had forced me to get rid of you, even though I didn't want to? Why don't you answer me, Xion? You know, now that I think about it, I never really got the chance to tell you I love you.
No, it's not the ordinary "friendship love," where I'd tell you I love you, you'd say "Yeah, I love you, too," and life would go on as if I never said "I love you, Xion." No, it's not the common "One-to-another love" where I'd confess to you, and you'd tell me, "Sorry, Roxas. I'm in love with someone else." and then I would start an internal hate towards that person. No, it's not the common "Hate love," where I pretend to hate you, you pretend to hate me, but we secretly love each other.
No, it's none of the above, because I knowfor sure that you love me, and that I love you.
Nevermind. Let me correct that.
No, it's none of the above, because I know for sure that youlovedme, and that I loved you.
And I still love you.
Forever. And ever. And ever. Until the end of all eternity.
My love for you has grown stronger for you, each passing day. Every single second of my non-existed life has been dedicated to you, and I can never stop thinking of you. I remember our first meeting. You were introduced as the fourteenth member, and the moment you stepped onto the glass platform, you stepped into my life.
I could really never get you out of my mind, because you looked so mysterious and shy and quiet. Everyone treated you like you were never there, so it just perked my curiosity even more. Every time I walked into the Grey Room to receive my assignment, I’d look your way just to see if you were watching. I didn’t know, since your hood was up.
Do you remember our first mission together? I remember it as if it had happened yesterday. What about the day you finally revealed yourself. You didn’t look like a puppet at all! A regular teenage girl, if it weren’t for you being a Nobody. We grew closer over the years, and I was oblivious to Axel’s feelings. That was, until you and him had battled, and he had saved you.
He had chosen you over me.
But you would have been better off with him. He could have provided protection, and could have brought you happiness. I would have brought you sadness and despair. I would have tried my best to bring you happiness, and I would have tried to cherish you with thousands of treasures and gifts. Most of all, I would have loved you. Axel would have, too, but I would have shown it. Axel’s pretty good at hiding his emotions, but I would have expressed my love for you.
But can I just tell you that I love you? And like I said before, I still do.
And I know that you loved me too.
I know for sure that you loved me.
Don't think I didn't notice the way you looked at me with those endearing oceanic blue eyes of yours, because I did. Don't think I didn't notice how hurt you looked every time every one in the Organization looked at you, because I did. Or the way you looked at me after a cute couple walked past us during our missions in Twilight Town. You looked at them, before looking back at me, with that sad expression of yours that I always fell for. It made me feel guilty, only because I didn't step up my game.
I never got the chance to make the first move, because it had gently and oh so slowly slipped away from my gentle grasp. Like, that one time in Agrabah, where you and I both defeated a "Lucky Star", or whatever Axel called it, and you looked so tired that you looked like you could pass out any second. You almost did.
But I caught you. And we held onto each other. I admired your beautiful eyes, and the way your lips looked so soft and sweet. If only I had leaned in, then I guess we wouldn't have been in the bundle of mess we were back then. Or maybe, when you had disappeared from my arms, would it have made a difference if I had told you I loved you?
It might have, I wouldn’t know. But maybe, just maybe, it would have made a huge difference and we wouldn’t be in this mess. You would probably still be here by my side, and I probably wouldn't be thinking this. I could be whispering all this into your small ears, and after listening to this crazy story, you'd look at me weirdly, I'd smile my usual cheesy grin, and you’d giggle softly.
I'd kiss your cheek and tell you I love you, forever and ever, and you'd repeat it. We'd hold hands, and think of the great memories we used to have.
But that never happened.
Only because the chance slipped past me when I never noticed until today. If I had seen my chance and used it, would the future have been different from what I dreamt of? Would we still be in the Organization? Would we be separated? Would I be thinking this? But most importantly, would you have been with me?
I don't know. And I still wouldn't have known unless if I had used my one and only chance. But I didn't. So I guess I'll never know. I don’t know what will happen in the future, but I do know that I love you. Forever and ever. Can I just tell you I love you? So much that it hurts to think of you, yet I force myself to. Only because I just can’t help but to think of you, your smile, the way you laughed with me and Axel. In the end, you had to disappear.
Damn it.
If only, I had saved you from your “death,” I think we would have been better off. We could have left the Organization, and started our live. Lived in a regular town, with regular people, and regular food (Xaldin wasn’t the best cook, and Vexen’s food always came out cold. Never mind Axel, who always burnt everyone’s food, including yours).
It’s only wishful thinking, right?
I guess. But Xion, I want to let you know that I truly loved you. Even when you were hurting, I tried my best to comfort you, didn’t I? And I always did try to help you feel better, didn't I? Can I just say I love you so?
.x.
Criticism please? I want to post this on Fan-fiction dot net, but I want to make sure it sounds decent enough to finish reading. I want to make it a simple read, but descriptive at the same time. I still have to finish it though, it's only a sample
I'm writing this little RokuShi one-shot, but I want to make sure if it sounds good so far. Criticism please? This is only a small part of it though, but is it good so far or do I need to make it better?
Hey, Xion. How's it going?
That's how I usually greeted you, wasn't it? You'd say "Good morning, Roxas." and life would go on– you know, our usual routine. The routine where we head to the Grey Room, start our mission, and then head towards Sunset Station for Sea-Salt Ice Cream. Well, our non-existed life, of course.
But that's not how it is now.
Because you're gone.
For good, this time. And you're not going to come back anytime soon.
Even after Saïx had tried to get rid off you during one of our missions, claiming that Xemnas had ordered him to, Axel had saved you, and we hugged. I was extremely thankful for that, and don't think I can ever repay Axel for that.
Not to mention that I still own him that ice cream bar...
Point is, you're gone now.
But why?
Why can't you come back, and stay with me? Is it because I had done wrong after your disappearing? Was it because you had forced me to get rid of you, even though I didn't want to? Why don't you answer me, Xion? You know, now that I think about it, I never really got the chance to tell you I love you.
No, it's not the ordinary "friendship love," where I'd tell you I love you, you'd say "Yeah, I love you, too," and life would go on as if I never said "I love you, Xion." No, it's not the common "One-to-another love" where I'd confess to you, and you'd tell me, "Sorry, Roxas. I'm in love with someone else." and then I would start an internal hate towards that person. No, it's not the common "Hate love," where I pretend to hate you, you pretend to hate me, but we secretly love each other.
No, it's none of the above, because I know for sure that you love me, and that I love you.
Nevermind. Let me correct that.
No, it's none of the above, because I know for sure that you loved me, and that I loved you.
And I still love you.
Forever. And ever. And ever. Until the end of all eternity.
My love for you has grown stronger for you, each passing day. Every single second of my non-existed life has been dedicated to you, and I can never stop thinking of you. I remember our first meeting. You were introduced as the fourteenth member, and the moment you stepped onto the glass platform, you stepped into my life.
I could really never get you out of my mind, because you looked so mysterious and shy and quiet. Everyone treated you like you were never there, so it just perked my curiosity even more. Every time I walked into the Grey Room to receive my assignment, I’d look your way just to see if you were watching. I didn’t know, since your hood was up.
Do you remember our first mission together? I remember it as if it had happened yesterday. What about the day you finally revealed yourself. You didn’t look like a puppet at all! A regular teenage girl, if it weren’t for you being a Nobody. We grew closer over the years, and I was oblivious to Axel’s feelings. That was, until you and him had battled, and he had saved you.
He had chosen you over me.
But you would have been better off with him. He could have provided protection, and could have brought you happiness. I would have brought you sadness and despair. I would have tried my best to bring you happiness, and I would have tried to cherish you with thousands of treasures and gifts. Most of all, I would have loved you. Axel would have, too, but I would have shown it. Axel’s pretty good at hiding his emotions, but I would have expressed my love for you.
But can I just tell you that I love you? And like I said before, I still do.
And I know that you loved me too.
I know for sure that you loved me.
Don't think I didn't notice the way you looked at me with those endearing oceanic blue eyes of yours, because I did. Don't think I didn't notice how hurt you looked every time every one in the Organization looked at you, because I did. Or the way you looked at me after a cute couple walked past us during our missions in Twilight Town. You looked at them, before looking back at me, with that sad expression of yours that I always fell for. It made me feel guilty, only because I didn't step up my game.
I never got the chance to make the first move, because it had gently and oh so slowly slipped away from my gentle grasp. Like, that one time in Agrabah, where you and I both defeated a "Lucky Star", or whatever Axel called it, and you looked so tired that you looked like you could pass out any second. You almost did.
But I caught you. And we held onto each other. I admired your beautiful eyes, and the way your lips looked so soft and sweet. If only I had leaned in, then I guess we wouldn't have been in the bundle of mess we were back then. Or maybe, when you had disappeared from my arms, would it have made a difference if I had told you I loved you?
It might have, I wouldn’t know. But maybe, just maybe, it would have made a huge difference and we wouldn’t be in this mess. You would probably still be here by my side, and I probably wouldn't be thinking this. I could be whispering all this into your small ears, and after listening to this crazy story, you'd look at me weirdly, I'd smile my usual cheesy grin, and you’d giggle softly.
I'd kiss your cheek and tell you I love you, forever and ever, and you'd repeat it. We'd hold hands, and think of the great memories we used to have.
But that never happened.
Only because the chance slipped past me when I never noticed until today. If I had seen my chance and used it, would the future have been different from what I dreamt of? Would we still be in the Organization? Would we be separated? Would I be thinking this? But most importantly, would you have been with me?
I don't know. And I still wouldn't have known unless if I had used my one and only chance. But I didn't. So I guess I'll never know. I don’t know what will happen in the future, but I do know that I love you. Forever and ever. Can I just tell you I love you? So much that it hurts to think of you, yet I force myself to. Only because I just can’t help but to think of you, your smile, the way you laughed with me and Axel. In the end, you had to disappear.
Damn it.
If only, I had saved you from your “death,” I think we would have been better off. We could have left the Organization, and started our live. Lived in a regular town, with regular people, and regular food (Xaldin wasn’t the best cook, and Vexen’s food always came out cold. Never mind Axel, who always burnt everyone’s food, including yours).
It’s only wishful thinking, right?
I guess. But Xion, I want to let you know that I truly loved you. Even when you were hurting, I tried my best to comfort you, didn’t I? And I always did try to help you feel better, didn't I? Can I just say I love you so?
Criticism please? I want to post this on Fan-fiction dot net, but I want to make sure it sounds decent enough to finish reading. I want to make it a simple read, but descriptive at the same time. I still have to finish it though, it's only a sample