The one thing that I feel is my true weakness, is my emotions, primarily my want to help other close to me. Nothing makes me feel more weak and inferior than not being able to help or make the ones I love happy. This concerns me with my friends and most importantly my girlfriend. Two weeks ago we broke up, and we got back together 3 days later, and those 3 days did a number on her in many ways. The backstory to this is two weeks prior to this happening her friends were trying to get her to change her mind about being with me, since she lives in North Carolina and I live in New York. While they just wanted her to be happy, they also wanted her to be with someone who was in the same city.
During the time that we broke up something happened when she was with her friends and was at one of her friends' house, and one was a guy she knew. At one point (w/o getting into full blown details) her friends left her to go to the store and then she was left seeing only the guy and his friend. In a way...... they set her up, and when her friends got back and they found out what happened, she told me that they expected that to happen.
So now she feels guilty about all this and she hasn't been the same since, when there are times when I feel guilt knowing that if I was down there this would never have happened. Whenever I ask how she is she always says "I'm ok" instead of I'm good. I don't say anything cause I don't want to bring this up, but it hurts me a bit inside. There are times when she's upset one day and I ask what's wrong and she won't tell me or she says she's just thinking and I think to myself that it's about that day. No matter how many times I tell her it's not her fault and she shouldn't feel guilty about it, and that I'm always there to help her, she just keeps it in and says that it's something that she has to deal with on her own, which I know for a FACT that it'll hurt her more than help her. And the fact that I knew something similar happened a while before we were together and that it took her a whole year to forget about it just makes me fear for her. I don't want her to go through another period of her life of sadness and depression.
I'm still able to make her happy and I always have a positive impact on her, but those times where she's sad and keeps things in telling me not to worry, I feel like I can't make her happy and break her out of her sadness. My own personal experiences taught me that being alone and in sadness/depression and trying to handle things on your own don't work and turn out badly. I want this sadness to go away but there's a part of me that feel powerless to aiding in the pain going away. While I know that this period of guilt and depression won't last and it will all be worked out over time, there's that one part of me that feels weak and powerless in being of help. All I wish is that there was a way that I could help more and bring back her true happiness from before all this happened.
The one thing that I feel is my true weakness, is my emotions, primarily my want to help other close to me. Nothing makes me feel more weak and inferior than not being able to help or make the ones I love happy. This concerns me with my friends and most importantly my girlfriend. Two weeks ago we broke up, and we got back together 3 days later, and those 3 days did a number on her in many ways. The backstory to this is two weeks prior to this happening her friends were trying to get her to change her mind about being with me, since she lives in North Carolina and I live in New York. While they just wanted her to be happy, they also wanted her to be with someone who was in the same city.
During the time that we broke up something happened when she was with her friends and was at one of her friends' house, and one was a guy she knew. At one point (w/o getting into full blown details) her friends left her to go to the store and then she was left seeing only the guy and his friend. In a way...... they set her up, and when her friends got back and they found out what happened, she told me that they expected that to happen.
So now she feels guilty about all this and she hasn't been the same since, when there are times when I feel guilt knowing that if I was down there this would never have happened. Whenever I ask how she is she always says "I'm ok" instead of I'm good. I don't say anything cause I don't want to bring this up, but it hurts me a bit inside. There are times when she's upset one day and I ask what's wrong and she won't tell me or she says she's just thinking and I think to myself that it's about that day. No matter how many times I tell her it's not her fault and she shouldn't feel guilty about it, and that I'm always there to help her, she just keeps it in and says that it's something that she has to deal with on her own, which I know for a FACT that it'll hurt her more than help her. And the fact that I knew something similar happened a while before we were together and that it took her a whole year to forget about it just makes me fear for her. I don't want her to go through another period of her life of sadness and depression.
I'm still able to make her happy and I always have a positive impact on her, but those times where she's sad and keeps things in telling me not to worry, I feel like I can't make her happy and break her out of her sadness. My own personal experiences taught me that being alone and in sadness/depression and trying to handle things on your own don't work and turn out badly. I want this sadness to go away but there's a part of me that feel powerless to aiding in the pain going away. While I know that this period of guilt and depression won't last and it will all be worked out over time, there's that one part of me that feels weak and powerless in being of help. All I wish is that there was a way that I could help more and bring back her true happiness from before all this happened.