_EPISODE 1_

 

Setting: A huge Kingdom Hearts logo with a keyblade spinning around in the middle. An intro with the title shows up on the screen...transitioning to a backdrop of the same logo, with Sora, standing in place.

 

Sora: Holy smokes, baloney, fudge and mustard, stop the presses and stop the internet!! If you are a member of KH13, and are loading this up your internet machine....you're here. Now, stand, the F**K UP!!

 

(No one stands up. Not even the cast members off screen watching)

 

Sora: -__-....Well, anyways....welcome to 5 Questions With The Kingdom Hearts Cast....where the most important questions on the face of this planet are answered....these, my friends (holds up paper) are the questions. And we (spreads arms out) We...have the answers....the answers to existance! (raises fist)

 

Riku: (Off-stage): By God, you're a ham.

 

Sora: (looks to Riku): By God, you're a homo.

 

(off-screen cast "OOOOHHHH"s in unison.)

 

Riku: -__-....just start the f*king show.

 

Sora: Alrighty then! First question....

 

(record skip, pause)

 

Hi, Firaga96. You know, I was going to make up stuff at this point, but then i thought, "Hey, why not get some actual questions going?"

 

So, KH13.com, I'm leaving the rest to you. Post some questions, being about anything you want to ask Sora, and once I get five, I'll continue the story from there. If you didn't get your question in, you can always ask another one for another character.

Edited October 14, 201213 yr by Firaga96

You already asked this, you know.

Whoops my bad O____O

(unpause)

 

MX: Regardless, let's continue. Question two. This is from xoblivionx13. It says, "Why do you make such complex plans?" Complex? Well, what do you expect? I can't just have all hearts bow down before me with the flick of a wrist...I need to use my brain. (points at liver-spotted skull) Hey, I heard that!

 

Na-na!   Payback.

 

MX:  :angry: ... Anyways, in order for my goals to be accomplished, there must be several objectives that I must complete before I do. Everything I've done in the past is all part of my grand scheme...

 

Terra-nort: So, you were supposed to turn Terra to Darkness?

 

MX: Yep.

 

XH: And I was supposed to create an artificial Keyhole to Kingdom Hearts? 

 

MX: Yep.

 

Xemnas: And I was supposed to collect hearts in order to create my own Kingdom Hearts?

 

MX: Yep.

 

YX: And do we really have to have 13 yous?

 

MX: Of course. All part of the plan.

 

YX: I don't see why all the trouble is needed.

 

MX: Well, if you're really confused by this, why don't you ask Nomura about it? He's the one who writes this stuff.

 

Terra-nort: Why don't you explain, since you're so smart?

 

MX: I don't feel that I need to. I already said that you should have figured this out already. I gave you a pamplet.

 

XH: Well, we still don't get it.

 

MX: Well, then that's your fault. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this out.

 

Xemnas: (under breath) Oh yeah, instead it's a senile old man...

 

(Org. Members, sans MX, chuckle)

 

MX: -__- Senile, eh? Can a senile old man do this?! (pulls out Keyblade) (crack!) OW! My back!

 

Xemnas: Make that senile AND fragile. 

 

(Org. Members burst out laughing)

 

MX: Oh, knock it off! Let's just get on to the next question...(stiffens back) If our writer is ready to continue that is...

 

What? I have to do things.

 

MX: What things?

 

Y-you know...things.

 

MX: Really?

 

Yeah. Things.

 

MX: What things?

 

Just....just things.

 

MX: Oh, come now!

 

THINGS! 

 

(thunder strikes)

 

MX: 0-0! Ok, ok, take it easy...yeesh...alright, question three....

 

(pause)

Edited December 1, 201212 yr by Firaga96

To Xehanort: Why can't you seem to see to learn you ARE going to lose against them? I just hope one or two of your counterparts rebel now and join Sora to beat your ass in the end. 

To Xehanort: How come your other selves have long, flowing hair, yet yours is deader than a possum on a freeway?

To Xehanort: How come your other selves have long, flowing hair, yet yours is deader than a possum on a freeway?

 

MX: I'm OLD! What do you want from me?!

 

Sorry. Off his meds again.

To Young Xehanort: Nomura stated in the KH3D Ultimania of why Vanitas appeared next to you in the game at one point it was because Ventus' heart reacted within Sora.

Edited December 2, 201212 yr by Tom13

To Young Xehanort: Nomura stated in the KH3D Ultimania of why Vanitas appeared next to you in the game at one point it was because Ventus' heart reacted within Sora.

 

 

YX: OOOOOOOH.....Okay.

To Master Xehanort: What would you do if Arceus who is a Pokemon from Pokemon Diamond/Pearl/Platinum who created the world in those games came to try and stop you? Hopefully you kill it.

Edited December 2, 201212 yr by Tom13

Guys, not to sound rude, but COOL IT with the questions. I like the enthusiasm, but really, I'm only one person; I still now have questions I haven't even answered yet.

 

Besides, there's a 5 question limit, and Xehanort has WAY too many questions. 

I'm still waiting for my my one/two questions to be answered. So I can see who the next character is and drop a very nasty/nice question on them out of blue. 

I'm still waiting for my my one/two questions to be answered. So I can see who the next character is and drop a very nasty/nice question on them out of blue. 

 

Exactly. SO PLEASE....relax.

(unpause)

 

MX: Alright, question three...our writer's getting better at updating, you notice that? Heh, now, this question is from Sakuraba Neku.

 

Neku: What?

 

MX: Different guy.

 

Neku: Oh, alright.

 

MX: He says: "Why are you having all this work if we know the good ones always win in the end?" Neku, that is a question that has been asked since the concept was first used in media...I should know, I was alive back then...but, anyways, even so, there's always a little fun on the long ride.

 

XH: What fun? We always lose.

 

MX: Well, what about when you used the World Of Chaos, wasn't that fun?XH: Oh well...uh, yeah, it was. Heh.

 

Sora: I still have nightmares about that. With all the pink and blue and the faces....and XH with his shirt off--AH, MY MIND!

 

XH: We get it! -__- (under breath) Brat...

 

MX: Then, of course we have the other moments where my incarnations have had the upper hand...like, say, Xemnas fighting Sora and Riku.

 

Xemnas: Good times...

 

Riku: Thanks for the broken ribs by the way.

 

Xemnas: You're welcome.

 

Riku: -_-

 

MX: And then there was me fighting Terra...

 

Terra-nort: And then you turned into me and I fought the Lingering Sentiment. That was sure fun.

 

MX: You see, we all have our moments in the sun. The bad guys got to have some limelight so they look threatening; that's what we thrive on. Even though, most likely, yes, I'm going to be defeated...(sigh)...after all, Nomura is full of cliche endings.

 

Normura: What did you-a just say?

 

MX: Nothin'.

 

I heard you.

 

MX: Keep your mouth shut, boy! Let's move on now, we're burning daylight. (laughs nervously) Next question...

 

(pause)

To Xehanort: Which version of yourself do you think failed the worst in your complex plan?

To Xehanort: Which version of yourself do you think failed the worst in your complex plan?

 

 

What did I say?! Five. Question. Limit.

What did I say?! Five. Question. Limit.

 

Sorry...can't count today T~T

Xehanort, are you a pervert? That was retorical

Riku, why did you try to do so much on your own?

Saix, why are so annoying?

Sora, do you plan on ever going on your final quest? We're starting to have second guesses. make some pressure on nomura, would you?

firaga, u still remember my question? check back a couple of pages.

Sora: How do you feel about the ongoing yaoi between you and Riku?

Riku: Do you like Namine?

Saix: Why Xion.....why?

Ansem: What are you?

Roxas: YOU ARE MINE!

firaga, u still remember my question? check back a couple of pages.

 

 

YES...

 

I promise it'll be there.

Aqua, You do realized that you had a few chances to escape the Realm of Darkness right?

 

Aqua, how old ARE you now?

 

Ventus, why did you smile at the end of KH3D?

 

Terra, do you LIKE Aqua~~~ Sora, do you know who Ventus is. Do you even know that he's sleeping in your heart right?

To Marluxia:

 

How does it feel to know you were right about Xemnas keeping stuff secret from the members now that we know it's true? I'm not even sure if you're still alive, but whatever.

(unpause)

 

MX: Next question...from Ultimus Grid. He writes, "Xehanort, do you realize you've messed up a lot of peoples' lives to achieve your plans to take Kingdom Hearts?"

 

XH: No shit, Sherlock.

 

MX: What?! You cannot insult the fanbase! They are the reason we make money!

 

Terra-nort: I know another way we can make mone---

 

Xemnas: If you say "we should go into gay porn" again, I am going to kill you.

 

Terra-nort: Pssh, fine....it's just a suggestion.

 

MX: ANYWAYS....yes, I do realize that. Doesn't mean I'm going to stop any time soon. 

 

YX: Oh yes, we still have plenty more evil plans to undo.

 

Sora: Joy. -__-

 

MX: Yep! Anyways, let's move on the last question....this one's from Xamtweth-reconnected, and he asks--oh God...(sigh)...."Xehanort, are you gay? cause you seem to like taking over male bodies."

 

(All Norts facepalm)

 

MX: You know what, I am SICK AND TIRED of answering this question. NO. We are not gay. Just because I used the guise of another man doesn't mean I had sexual feelings for them.

 

XH: Yeah, same for me!

 

Terra-nort: Diddo!

 

YX: Yes!

 

YX: Ironic given you were insulting each other over this in the beginning of the show...

 

MX: Yes, well, the jokes are over. I have to say, this is the WORST question anyone can ask me..it just pisses me off more than anything else...actually, wait, wait, no, you wanna no the REAL question that pisses me off? The question "are you gay?" isn't the most annoying....it's the follow up question for when I say "no"....and that would be: "Really?"

 

(All but the other Norts burst out laughing)

 

MX: Stop laughing! It's not funny! You have no idea how DEGRADING this is! Do you know how much DISDAIN I have for these idiots and their questions about my sexuality? .... Words cannot describe what I would do to these people if I could! I would torture them, I-I, would lock them in a basement and force Chinese water torture on them, drip, drip, drip. and then I'd play "Hey, Xehanort, are you gay?" soundbites over and over again unitl they get sick of themselves, and then puke....BECAUSE OF THEMSELVES!

 

Everyone: 0-0

 

MX: (takes breath).....alright, in all seriousness....look. I'll be honest. This kind of stuff is very offensive. Can you PLEASE....cool it with the gay questions? It's gotten old, it really has. But other than, that, thank you for joining us for another episode of 5 Questions With The Kingdom Hearts Cast.

 

XH: Remember to keep it locked on here...

 

Xemnas: Cuz we got the truth...

 

Terra-nort: The whole truth...

 

YX: And nothing but the truth.

 

MX: This has been the Xehanorts, signing out...(salutes)....I'm f**king out of here.

 

X*X*X*X*X

 

And low and behold, we have 8 episodes done. NOW, for the next one....uh....idk about the next one, actually. Suggestions, maybe?

Edited December 21, 201212 yr by Firaga96

I say next one should be an Organization member, Terra, or Aqua :DD

Organization XIII !!!

Ventus.