Lexi and I are doing a thing 

 

I am Dean she is Cas

Edited December 5, 201311 yr by Paopufruity

Dean was almost crying, which Castiel recalled to be a sign of acute emotional distress. He was so selfish for doing this to Dean. "I will try not to hurt you." Castiel's voice was surprisingly even. He was going to kill Dean. His Dean. Castiel swallowed and placed a hand on Dean's forehead. "It can be beautiful there. It is not all bad." He hadn't been on the receiving end of one of his angelic attacks before, so Castiel wasn't really sure if it hurt or not. "I am sorry." Castiel wasn't sure if Dean heard the words or not as he dropped to the ground. 

 

He'd just killed Dean. For a good reason, sure, but he'd killed Dean. The thought was stuck on replay. Castiel gently dragged Dean's body a little deeper into the alley to keep it out of sight. "Sorry Dean, I'm so sorry," He murmured. Once Dean's body was out of sight, Castiel traveled to Heaven. 

 

It didn't take him long to find Dean, but that wasn't much of a relief. Castiel knew Dean would be in his old memories, but he hadn't been prepared to see Dean playing with his mother. Dean seemed to have forgotten that he was no longer a child--he was too caught up in the moment. Castiel took a step back and stayed out of their way. Dean had just died, and he deserved at least a few minutes of happiness for that sacrifice. 

True to his request, Dean had braced for the worst as Castiel laid a hand on his forehead, but instead he felt only a warmth that seemed to envelope his entire body before for a split second, everything went dark. For a moment, he could feel nothing, no pain, no happiness, nothing. For a blissful moment in time, he was perfectly numb.

 

It was then that he found himself in a sunny room, after squinting, he realized it to be a living room. More specifically, the living room of his old house. It had been untouched by the fire and the birds outside in the town of Lawrence Kansas were singing as though nothing bad could have ever happened there.

 

"Dean?" The most beautiful voice Dean had always strived to keep in his memory called out to him. He abruptly turned around to find the source and was suddenly face to face with his mom. He forgot where he was at that moment, no longer did it register that he was in heaven. What mattered was that his mom was here, right in front of him.

 

"Mommy?" Dean found himself croaking as he ran full force into his mother's warm and inviting arms. "What the matter Dean?" Mary Winchester asked as she gave her son a chaste kiss on the forehead, "Do you want to play for a while until I have to start dinner?"

 

Dean felt himself lighting up, and only hugged his mom tighter, "Yes mommy." He reached down and held up a toy firetruck, and for the first time in so many years, let go. However, his thoughts once drifted to the man in the trench coat standing by the door.

It was strange to see Dean drop the mask. Even though Castiel knew what Dean really looked like underneath the tough facade, he had never really asked about Dean's mother. He knew it was a touchy subject. Castiel leaned against the door frame to watch. Really, they needed to get on with their mission, but Castiel couldn't rip Dean away. It was only a memory--the real Mary was somewhere else in Heaven--but he wasn't going to spoil the moment. Castiel glanced back out the door. It was odd being able to see two scenes at once. Dean could only see the beautiful summer afternoon, but underneath it, Castiel could see the broken, warehouse-like floor that was Heaven. There was little magic in Heaven. It was all just illusions and projections, but only angels could see through the beauty. He couldn't see anyone, but Castiel sensed angels were nearby. There was no telling if they would kill him on sight or not, and with Dean's life at stake, Castiel didn't want to take any chances. They'd need to get out of the area. 

 

"Dean." He called softly. "Dean, we have to go. We'll visit your mother again if we have time." 

The rough voice that belonged to Castiel cut through the illusion that he had been seeing all this time and he was suddenly snapped back into reality. He was not a young child again, and his mom wasn't really here, she was dead. She had died in the fire years ago. He and Cas were on a mission, in heaven, he was dead and they needed to find God. The joy in his face fell away as well as the vision of his mother. "Yeah Cas..." He sighed deeply and stood up, not daring to look back at the scene.

 

"Let's go." He saw the urgent expression on Cas' face and quirked his brow in confusion, he didn't even need to ask, there must be angel's nearby. Angels that most likely were not okay with him being in heaven at the moment. He wondered how Cas was even able to travel to heaven with his powers on lockdown.

 

"Alright, where to Cas?" He asked after regaining his placid expression. He looked around the space suspiciously, on his guard especially. This was angel territory and he was not welcome.

"We should visit Joshua. God speaks to him, and even if God hasn't recently, he should have an idea of where God is. If we're lucky, he might be able to tell us God's exact location." Castiel took a deep breath. "I'll warn you Dean, Joshua may not be friendly. He's spent a long time acting as God's trustee, and he may be offended that we are hoping to find God. He might take it as a personal insult. And angels won't be excited to see you here. I'm sure that the others have already gotten word that I am here and you are dead. They'll be after us, so we'll have to hurry. I don't want to, but..." Castiel glanced back out the door to watch for angels. "But we might have to kidnap him. I hope not, but if he doesn't talk, we don't have time to wait. I'll be killed and you'll be stuck here." Castiel reached out and put a hand on Dean's shoulder. "Be prepared to fight if we are not fast enough." Castiel transported them to the garden where Joshua usually hung around. It was just a hunch, but apparently it had paid off. A figure hunched over on a wrought-iron bench in the middle of the garden straightened as they appeared. 

 

"Castiel." He sounded old, much older than the last time Castiel had heard him speak. The fighting was taking its toll on him. 

 

"We do not have much time, Joshua. I am trying to stop the apocalypse, and I need to know where God is. Where was the last place you knew him to be?" 

As Castiel spoke to Joshua, Dean kept his guard up and was on the lookout for angels, at the moment however, he was powerless against them. As he recalled, the only thing capable of killing an angel, was one of those silver blades that Cas always carried around with him. "Hey Cas," he spoke through gritted teeth, "Any chance I could have one of those shiny angel blade things, because I'm kind of helpless over here." He stood his ground as an angel, clad in a three piece suit showed up, looking undeniably pissed off to say the least.

 

"Why is the Righteous Man here?" he spoke in a monotonous voice, "Dean Winchester, it is not your time to be in heaven. You must be brought back to Earth.". Dean grabbed the blade that Cas had just now decided to slip him, he did not bring it into sight however. "Also, why is this traitor in this place? Castiel, you rebelled against your superiors, the punishment for this is death, yet you still have the nerve to return to this place?" 

 

Dean rolled his eyes at the angel's statement, not even dignifying it with a proper response, "Yeah buddy, I think it's time you took a nap." He held out the angel blade and glared at the bright eyes of the being before him as it moved. Not at him, but at Castiel, to which Dean promptly blocked his path, "Don't touch him you dick." His voice didn't waver. 

Castiel was terrified to see Dean standing in front of him. Zachariah was angry, and he was already prepared to do whatever was necessary to force Dean to accept his role as Michael's vessel. But if he captured Dean while he was angry, Castiel could only imagine what Zachariah would do. He would kill Dean over and over--resurrecting him only to murder him again, and after all Castiel had allowed to happen to Dean so far, he couldn't let him suffer anymore. Castiel ripped the angel blade from Dean's grip. "I am sorry Dean, but I cannot allow Zachariah to capture you." He touched Dean's shoulder before the hunter could protest. Dean was gone in a bright flash of silver light--alive again, back in the alley where Castiel had left his body. 

 

Castiel immediately retreated to Joshua. "Joshua, forgive me, but I need to know where God is, and I am not welcome in Heaven." Castiel reached out to touch Joshua's shoulder, and before Zachariah had a chance to stop him, Castiel had teleported them both back to the alley with Dean. 

 

Castiel didn't turn to see if Dean was alright. He probably wasn't even awake yet. "I do not want to hurt you." Castiel didn't drop his angel blade. "But I will do what I must. I am going to stop the apocalypse without letting Sam and Dean become vessels. The only being that can help me accomplish this is God, and I don't know where to find him. But you, brother, you must know where he is. You must have an idea." 

 

Joshua shook his head slowly. "Castiel, how mistaken you are." Before Castiel had a chance to complain, Joshua continued, "God speaks to me whenever it pleases Him. I'm not able to chat with Him whenever I feel like it. It's been a long time since I spoke to him. I think he's dead, Castiel, and I cannot tell you where to find our father's corpse. But He had already planned this. He planned for the Winchesters to be the vessels, and you have no right stopping what is meant to be. I wish you luck, brother." 

 

Castiel reached out to stop him, but Joshua had already vanished. A wave of disappointment washed over Castiel and he let his shoulders slump. He tucked his angel blade into his trench coat and crouched beside Dean. "Dean, are you alright?" 

It all happened too fast for Dean to register, one second he was in an standoff with a seriously pissed off angel, and the next he felt as if he was falling and suddenly woke up gasping on the mucky wet concrete of the alleyway that Castiel had killed him. He coughed a few times in order to catch his breath, he couldn't seem to get enough air as he was gulping it down in gasps. He faintly heard Castiel talking to the angel Joshua, something about God. The angel did not sound mad however, which was a good thing at least. There was a faint fluttering of wings before he was aware of Castiel next to him, his face showing concern. He was asking if he was alright, but for some reason, Dean could not respond clearly. "I'm- I'm fine Cas." He coughed again and shivered, the ground was a little too cold for his liking. Attempting to sit up, Dean rubbed at his forehead to try and ward off the dizziness. "What the hell happened back there?" He asked after he had regained himself.

 

To his relief, Castiel looked unharmed, he didn't want any dick with wings touching his angel. Wait, he backtracked. Did he just call Cas his angel? He shook off the thought and got to his feet.

Castiel took a sudden interest in the trash littering the ground around Dean. "Joshua was not as useful as I had expected. He had no information." They were back to square one, but Castiel couldn't say that he was upset about it. It had been a close call in Heaven, and he was lucky that he and Dean had both made it out safely. Even with the apocalypse looming over him, Castiel still had Dean. And somehow it would be okay. It would always be okay as long as the Winchesters were alive. 

 

"We need to figure out an alternate--" Castiel cut himself off. What was he thinking? Dean had just died. He was lying on the concrete before Castiel, his body drenched in sweat and he was understandably disoriented. Castiel reminded himself that in such a state, Dean needed rest. He wasn't quite as resilient as an angel. They had already checked out of the motel, and an entire day had passed since their last time in the alley, so Sam was long gone. "You need to recover. I will take us somewhere." Castiel decided it probably wasn't best to stay in the same town, but he wasn't entirely sure where else to go. "Is there anywhere you want me to take you, Dean?" 

Dean cursed to himself, so they really were back at square one once again, this was going to be much harder than Dean originally thought. Not that he expected it to be easy in the first place, but if not even the angel that had the power to talk to God could find him, then who's to say that anyone knew where he was. It was frustrating to the highest degree, not to mention he could hardly stand on his own two feet at the moment. He was fighting to even stay awake, whatever Castiel had did, it had taken a lot out of him. "No, Cas I'm fine." His voice possessed an edge, as he was trying to make it seem strong. "We- We need to find another way to find this guy. Or else we're going to have to find a way to kick Lucifer's ass on our own, and let's face it. What chance do we even have of getting close to the guy without being blown to bits. It doesn't seem like he would want to talk."

 

His vision was beginning to swim however, and it was beginning to become ever more difficult to stand up, but he held his ground. Refusing to let whatever was fighting for his consciousness win. "Dammit." Dean cursed and shook his head. Suddenly, Castiel looked the more inviting. The weight pressing down on his head pushed his eyes shut and he felt himself falling, only to have a strong body catch him. He knew it was Cas, and for the first time in a long time, he allowed himself to trust someone.

Castiel was panicking. Dean was limp in his arms, and there was nothing Castiel could do to heal him. He was cut off from Heaven, and essentially as useful as a human. He couldn't fail Dean again. "Dean?" His voice cracked. Could he call back Joshua? Anyone? Someone had to help Dean, and Castiel wasn't sure he trusted human doctors. But he didn't have many options, and he had to do something. Castiel transported them to the nearest hospital and burst in through the front door. 

 

"Help! I need a doctor!"

 

The people in the lobby froze, all staring at Castiel. The receptionist didn't seem as shocked as the family members. She jammed a button on her desk and stood up. "They'll be here in a second. I'll need you to stay with me and fill out some paperwork, alright?" 

 

Leave Dean while he was in danger? Was she insane? Twin doors that led deeper into the hospital swung open. A stretcher pushed by a team of nurses was shoved out into the lobby, and with practiced precision, Dean was lifted from Castiel's arms and onto the stretcher. 

 

"What happened?" One of the nurses asked. Her colleagues were already beginning to push Dean's stretcher away. 

 

"I don't know. He collapsed after I returned him to his body." The nurse raised an eyebrow, but Castiel wasn't going to waste time with her. He needed to see Dean. He stormed past her and chased down the stretcher. The nurse followed, screaming that he had to wait in the lobby, but Castiel wasn't listening. 

 

She grabbed his sleeve and yanked Castiel to a halt. "Sir, I understand that you're upset, but you can't be back here." 

 

Castiel almost shoved her away, but luckily he didn't have to. He displayed the FBI badge Dean had given him. "Let me follow." 

 

"It's upside down." Before Castiel could ask what she meant, the nurse flipped his FBI badge. "But fine. Go. You'll need to fill out paperwork, though." 

 

Castiel didn't have time to thank her. He broke into a sprint and caught up with the stretcher. The nurses had already wheeled Dean into a room and were taking his vital signs. Suddenly they didn't seem so rushed. "Heartbeat's a little slow, but nothing dangerous...blood pressure is within acceptable range..." A nurse placed a thermometer between Dean's lips and frowned. She turned to Castiel. "Is it something he ate?" 

 

"No, he fainted." Castiel hated leaving Dean's care to humans, but as clueless as they were, they were his only hope. "Don't you have medicines to use on him?" 

 

"Well, as far as I can see, there's nothing wrong with him." She pursed her lips. 

 

Castiel would have fainted if he could have. Dean was alright. Dean was safe. Dean was healthy. Castiel sighed. "Thank you very much." 

 

"We'll need paperwork, but he should wake up, if you want to wait here." The other nurses began to exit, a few mumbling about wasting their smoke breaks. 

 

Castiel nodded. "Yes, that would good." The nurse offered him a half-hearted smile before she walked out, leaving Castiel alone beside Dean. 

It was blissfully dark for a long while, and Dean couldn't be bothered to open his eyes, it felt as though they had been glued shut. He was so tired, more tired than he had been in a very long time. Though his instincts as a hunter were fighting back, telling him to wake up and come back to the world. The first thing he was aware of was that he was warm, as if someone had put a heated blanket over him, it felt pleasant. The second thing he noticed was that something smelled faintly of medicine and pungent cleaning supplies. He knew that smell, it was the smell that belonged to a hospital. Shit, he thought to himself, what had happened? He remembered he had been in heaven, then he had woken up feeling like ass, and... Then he had fainted in Castiel's arms. Dean figured that Cas must have brought him here then. 

 

He groaned softly, and forced his eyes open, it was a bit too bright for his tastes. The overhead light was virtually blinding and he almost had to close eyes once again to avoid provoking his splitting headache into hurting even more. There was a weight on the side of the bed and he didn't have to look to know who it was, 

 

"Cas..." his voice sounded dry and rough, not to mention his throat felt as dry as the desert. "Cas, what's going on?"

Castiel was so relieved that he could have kissed him. The medical staff had promised that Dean was healthy, but Castiel wasn't sure if he could take their word for it. Seeing Dean awake, asking questions, was more of a relief than anything they could have said. He was pale and obviously still a little off, but Castiel reminded himself that feeling sick was probably normal after being brought back to life. Human bodies were fragile. "Are you feeling alright, Dean?" He nodded toward the monitor Dean was hooked up to. Castiel had little knowledge of how such devices worked, but since the beeps were spaced out evenly, he figured it meant Dean was fine. "You do not need to rush if you feel badly. The nurses think I'm an FBI agent." He let a small smile slide onto his face. "They will allow you to stay here as long as you need to. I will tell them to." 

After shaking off some of the nausea that accompanied sitting up, Dean looked over to the machine that was beeping in the most annoying fashion and eyed it in disgust. He allowed himself to laugh however at Castiel saying he was an FBI agent, that meant he had still kept the badge he had given to him, he wondered if he had used it upside down again. The thought alone made him feel better and brought a smile to his face, he was still a bit tired and dizzy, but it didn't beat the desire to get out of the hospital as soon as possible. He was insanely thirsty however.

 

"Cas," he croaked, "You mind getting me some water and then we can get out of here? I don't want to stay here for more than I have to." the look he gave Castiel was almost desperate, he did not like hospitals and avoided them whenever possible. He figured he and Cas could rent a motel room and take the time to regroup and plan their next move before heading out on the search for God once again, they didn't have time to waste in a hospital with a bunch of nurses fussing over him. He almost growled at the IV line that was poking into his arm, damn how he hated those things. Swinging his legs over the side of the bed he blushed as he realized what he was wearing. It was a skimpy hospital gown that showed a little bit too much skin towards the back, and he knew that Castiel could see, he rushed to cover it as quickly as possible.

Castiel was a little surprised at the way his breath caught when Dean's hospital gown split open in the back. Human bodies were nothing to him. Though humans found shame in them, angels like Castiel were not affected by nakedness. It was just how God had created humans--it wasn't meant to be sexual. Castiel found himself blushing, almost unable to look away from Dean. There was something different about the human body when it was Dean's body. What was he thinking? Dean has just died to help him and was still drained from the experience, yet Castiel was thinking about his body? Castiel was sure that, wherever he was, God was disappointed. Castiel cleared his throat and returned his gaze to Dean's face, which was now a tomato red color that matched Castiel's cheeks. Why was Dean blushing too? "I'll get your water. Don't move Dean. You'll hurt yourself." Castiel didn't see the use in teleporting to a fountain when there was a bathroom attached to Dean's room. He grabbed a dixie cup from a small stack beside the sink and filled it with water. He glanced up at himself in the mirror and patted a bit of water from the faucet onto his cheeks to calm the redness. "I've got it." Castiel returned to the room, this time careful to keep his eyes above Dean's hips. 

When Castiel left the room to get him some water, Dean inwardly kicked himself, why was he so concerned if Castiel saw his ass or not? They were both dudes, and friends at that. He shook his head and took a deep breath as Castiel came back into the room with his much needed cup of water, he could see that the angel's face was a light pink as well, as well as coated in a sheet of water, did he spill some of it on his face? Castiel was slightly clumsy he guessed. He yawned once again and shrugged off the blanket that was wrapped lightly around his shoulders and shivered at the contact of the cold air before graciously accepting the water that Castiel had given him and greedily gulped it down and wiped at his mouth. He grumbled and wondered where the nurses were, he wanted to get out of this damn place. He searched the wall and eventually pressed the call button for the nurse and waited until a small petite woman walked into the room with a clipboard. 

 

"Oh you're awake!" She exclaimed, "It looks like for a while there you were so exhausted that you eventually passed out. Your friend here was really worried about you." She giggled, "He burst in the doors yelling for a Doctor and wouldn't leave your side no matter how much we asked." she placed a hand on Castiel's shoulder and laughed. Dean looked over at Castiel, perplexed. He had been that worried about him? He actually felt touched at the small notion that Castiel cared about him enough to take him here. He didn't really know what to say, so instead responded with, "Um, could I have my clothes please? I think I'm feeling well enough to leave now."

"I'll bring your clothes by later. There's still paperwork that needs filling out..." The nurse glanced over at Castiel. "Some of the questions involve what you did to get him here. So I'll need you to fill it out, okie dokie?" 

 

Okie dokie? Castiel's eyes darted back and forth between Dean and the nurse, waiting for an explanation. "Alright." He said finally, almost uncertainly. Castiel had no intention of actually filling it out, but he couldn't teleport them away with a nurse standing there. He'd teleport them to the nearest motel after. He wasn't sure he had any idea how to fill out human paperwork anyway. The nurse left to retrieve the paperwork a moment later, smiling brightly. She'd paused for a moment too long to admire Dean's form through the tight-fitting hospital gown. Castiel was surprised at how much that annoyed him. She was supposed to be doing her job, not admiring Dean. He might have looked--Castiel cut off the thought. Why was he so unable to focus on anything but Dean? Castiel needed to focus on the bigger picture rather than just on Dean, but it was becoming difficult. 

 

"Dean, I will get your clothes. Wait here." Castiel transported himself to the patient store room. He hadn't spent much time in hospitals, but he at least knew where patient's belongings were kept. He rummaged through the bins looking for Dean's fake name. They'd checked the fake driver's license in his pocket while they took his vitals, so of course it wouldn't be as simple as just locating the bin marked Winchester. To Castiel's relief, he didn't have to go through the entire room. Dean's was one of the first bins he sorted through. He collected Dean's belongings and appeared back in Dean's room. "Dress quickly, before she gets back. I'll take us to a motel." 

Dean noticed the nurse looking at him, trying to get a peek at him through the crack in the back of his gown, on a normal day he would have winked and sent her to the ground, but today all he wanted to do was get out of the god forsaken hospital. He was more than relieved to see Castiel reappear with his clothes in hand shortly after the nurse had left the room. He quickly ripped the IV line out of his arm and barely winced at the sting it gave and the blood that appeared, he had had worse. After making sure that Castiel was turned around, he shed the hospital gown and proceeded to change back into his jeans, jacket and boots, making haste of course due to the fact that the nurse could come back into the room at any given moment. He made sure to be careful as he stood up once he was fully dressed, he didn't want to fall down again and cause a scene resulting in him staying even longer. The thought alone made him cringe.

 

"Okay I'm done Cas let's go." he grabbed his wallet off the small table beside his bed and pat Castiel's shoulder. Lately, he had been in close contact with the angel. He had slept on him, fainted in his arms, and not to mention been killed by him for a cause, and now he was touching his shoulder. Dean didn't know what it was, this sudden need to have contact with Castiel, all he knew was that he actually enjoyed it. 

 

He waited for the touch of Castiel's fingers to transport them to another motel where they could lay low for the night so that they would be able to pick up their search the following day.

Castiel decided it would be best to stay in a different motel. It was unlikely, but possible that they could be traced back to the one they'd stayed in previously. It was better safe than sorry when Dean's life was at stake. The last thing they needed were angels showing up. Or any sort of nonhuman creature for that matter. Castiel placed a hand on Dean's warm shoulder and transported them to a motel on the outskirts of town. It was a bit nicer than the one the boys had been staying in earlier. The room was a bit larger, and the walls an inviting, freshly painted yellow. It didn't take Castiel long to check them in. He was getting better at conversing with humans. Dean laughed at him less often, which while joking, was a good sign. 

 

Castiel wasn't sure what to do once he and Dean entered their hotel room. Dean would go to sleep, and Castiel would need to retrieve him food upon his awakening. After dying he probably needed nourishment. But until then, was he supposed to just sit around? Actually, it wasn't a terrible thought. With all of the nasty things in the world out to kill them, it was best that Castiel stood guard. He was almost relieved that he didn't sleep. The Winchesters needed a guardian, and while they wouldn't always need him, Castiel liked feeling like he was doing something for them. They were at their weakest when they slept, and they trusted him to keep them safe. They trusted him. After everything. "I will stand guard while you sleep." 

Dean's eyes were drooping as Castiel checked them into the motel upon arriving, he was ready to finally be able to rest, but the thought of having nightmares of hell again forced his brain to stay awake. He did not know if Castiel would be willing to do that for him again what with his powers dwindling, he didn't want the angel to waste that power on him just because he needed to sleep. He smiled lightly as they entered the room that they would be staying in, he had to admit, it was a lot better than the one they had stayed in before. There were no suspicious stains on the carpet or ceiling and it didn't smell of water damage and filth, it was surprisingly pleasant for a motel to say the least. There were two double beds with a TV and a couch, Dean instantly made a beeline for the bed and fell down almost instantly, Sam would have found it comical and made a comment about how ungraceful Dean was. Kicking off his boots, he settled into the bed, but immediately froze, he didn't want to sleep, the nightmares would come back and he wasn't about to ask Castiel. 

 

"You don't have to Cas, I'm not gonna sleep." He stated nonchalantly as he picked up the remote and switched on the TV to some odd soap opera that was extremely cheesy, but it was something to watch. He stared blankly at the screen.

For a moment, Castiel was utterly confused. Dean was clearly exhausted, and his body needed rest. It was only seconds before his lips opened with the question that he realized it was the nightmares. Castiel had hoped, maybe stupidly, that he would have healed Dean. That one night of holding Dean, of protecting him from memories of hell, would cure him. It was silly, but Castiel was disappointed that it hadn't worked. Still, Castiel was willing to hold Dean every night if it meant he could sleep. Whether Dean would admit it or not, he desperately needed to recuperate. "Dean, you must sleep. Your body is damaged, and you need to rest. If you are going to have nightmares, I can hold you again." Castiel blushed as he spoke. He wasn't sure why proposing it was so embarrassing. He was just helping Dean, and that was really all he wanted. 

Dean began to blush furiously at the thought of Castiel holding him once again as he slept, whether or not he wanted to admit it, it had helped him immensely the previous time. For the first time in years, he had been able to sleep soundly without nightmares plaguing him. He did not want to respond however, his pride was telling him not to take Castiel up on his offer and instead stick it out. Though another part of him was telling him that he needed the angel, he wanted to feel safe and secure and free of nightmares. He wanted to feel close to Castiel. He crossed his arms and shifted uncomfortably on the bed, he thought it best to change the subject.

 

"Hey Cas, you want to watch this with me for a little while until I can fall asleep?" He scooted over to make room for the angel to sit next to him. Deep down, he hoped that Castiel would oblige and take him up on his offer, but he would understand if he didn't, even if the underlying disappointment was there. If Castiel was willing to hold him in his sleep again, Dean blushed at the thought, then he would be at least willing to watch some cheesy chick flick with him.

"Alright." Castiel blinked uncertainly before settling down on the bed beside Dean. He glanced over at Dean, watching to make sure Dean was still accepting of his presence. He'd never sat in a bed before, as strange as that may have sounded. He'd never had a reason to. He wasn't sure how close he should get to Dean. When Sam and Dean watched television together, they were always in separate beds. So was Dean's suggestion that they sit in bed together some sort of invitation? Castiel ended up sitting directly beside Dean, their shoulders pressed together. Dean was warm and his breathing rhythmic. Castiel was lulled into a sort of trance. He enjoyed listening to Dean breathe and feeling the slight rise and fall of his shoulders with each breath.

 

Castiel found it difficult to concentrate on the television. He was easily distracted by Dean's breathing, by his warmth, by the sound of his soft laughter as jokes were made on screen. As the show went on, Castiel could feel Dean slowly sag into his shoulder. Again he was a source of comfort, a respite from the nightmares, and that brought a small smile to Castiel's face. Castiel could feel Dean beginning to drift off, so he carefully reached for the television remote and turned down the volume so that it was just barely audible. Castiel gently freed his arm from where Dean had been leaning and threw it around him, drawing him closer. If holding him while he slept had helped once, it would help again. 

Dean felt himself gradually leaning into Castiel as the show they were watching went on, he was relieved when he had given in and sat next to him. At first, it had been slightly awkward, with their shoulders pressed together like wooden blocks. Though as time went on they had begun to relax into a comfortable position with Dean resting his head lightly against Castiel's shoulder. He allowed himself to enjoy the show and even caught Castiel crack a smile or two when one of the characters made a joke on screen. Eventually, it had proven to be a bit too difficult to keep his eyes any longer. He faintly was aware of Castiel picking up the remote and turning down the volume of the TV to where he was just able to hear it. There was a shift in the angel's movement suddenly and he felt two strong arms wrapping around his body and pulling him closer to a source of unquestionable warmth. He didn't care what anyone thought, Sam was not here to see him, it was only Cas. He trusted Castiel with his body and soul, and as much as he didn't want to admit it, he needed him. 

 

"Goodnight Cas..." Dean slurred as he slowly drifted off into a peaceful slumber, with no memories of Alastair to shatter the moment. 

Castiel had almost forgotten that he was supposed to be on guard duty. With Dean wrapped warmly and safely within his arms, Castiel had neglected to pay attention to his surroundings. He had been lulled into yet another trance by Dean, dreaming of the things they could do on their search. If Castiel were God, he would have chosen a snowy mountain or a Carribean beach to hide out. So logically, shouldn't he and Dean visit those places? Sitting on the beach, or hidden away in a cozy ski resort cabin, free from the avalanche of problems that seemed to be engulfing them... Castiel finally realized that someone was nearby. Something. And he had absolutely failed as a guard.

 

Castiel was reasonably certain that the presence wasn't malevolent, although it was unusually strong. Carefully, Castiel unwrapped his arms from around Dean. He gently guided Dean's head to the pillows and pulled the blanket a little closer to his chin. "I'll be right back." Castiel whispered, though Dean was too far gone to hear him. Dean's forehead creased slightly, his lips turning down into a frown. Castiel didn't want to leave Dean, but he didn't have a choice. As quietly as possible, Castiel slipped into the deserted motel parking lot. His angel blade was tucked away just inside of his trench coat if he needed it. "Alright, do you want to talk?" 

 

"Yes, Castiel." The voice sent shivers down his spine. "I'd love to talk to you."