In a way, this story is a way for me to vent. I have a hard time explaining things about myself. Why I can't do certain things, and why I have a hard time with others. Reason why I'm posting this on here, is to have an unbiased opinion on it. When asking my friend, she just tells me she likes it, since we're friends. I'm not asking for you to like it, just to give me your honest opinion on it. I'm still working on a title, the temporary title is from a song I listened to while working on this.
~Prologue~
I am weak. For a majority of my lifetime I have convinced myself that I was a strong person. A person who could handle whatever was thrown at her. A person who could wake up in the morning and smile. A person who could stand up for what she believed in. A person who could accept anyone in her life. I came to accept that as reality.
Over all, my reality was a lie.
The moment I closed myself off behind a steel wall, I considered myself powerful. I had closed off the world that I loathed with my every being. A world that I thought was created to hurt and punish me. This wall, to me, was to keep others out from inflicting me with pain. I thought the solitude would make me stronger. Instead, I continued to see the world through grimy windows.
I would look through those windows, seeing the bright faces of those I considered friends. But where they friends? I never saw them try to break down the wall I closed myself behind. What did they do? They left me. Once they knew the wall would not come down, they gave up. With turned backs they walked away from the wall that separated us. When I witnessed the event, I cried.
Those people, my friends -no, my enemies-, they always said they
In a way, this story is a way for me to vent. I have a hard time explaining things about myself. Why I can't do certain things, and why I have a hard time with others. Reason why I'm posting this on here, is to have an unbiased opinion on it. When asking my friend, she just tells me she likes it, since we're friends. I'm not asking for you to like it, just to give me your honest opinion on it. I'm still working on a title, the temporary title is from a song I listened to while working on this.
~Prologue~
I am weak. For a majority of my lifetime I have convinced myself that I was a strong person. A person who could handle whatever was thrown at her. A person who could wake up in the morning and smile. A person who could stand up for what she believed in. A person who could accept anyone in her life. I came to accept that as reality.
Over all, my reality was a lie.
The moment I closed myself off behind a steel wall, I considered myself powerful. I had closed off the world that I loathed with my every being. A world that I thought was created to hurt and punish me. This wall, to me, was to keep others out from inflicting me with pain. I thought the solitude would make me stronger. Instead, I continued to see the world through grimy windows.
I would look through those windows, seeing the bright faces of those I considered friends. But where they friends? I never saw them try to break down the wall I closed myself behind. What did they do? They left me. Once they knew the wall would not come down, they gave up. With turned backs they walked away from the wall that separated us. When I witnessed the event, I cried.
Those people, my friends -no, my enemies-, they always said they