SO I GOTTA WRITE A CHILDREN'S STORY FOR A TECHNOLOGY STUDENTS ASSOCIATION STATE COMPETITION.

AND

THIS IS ALL I'VE GOT.

IS THERE ANY WHY YOU GUYS CAN HELP ME MAKE IT BETTER?

I've gotta make sure children understand it.

Also can you guys try to point out my mistakes?

 

Communication story

 

Main character-

Megan, a deaf girl. She cannot hear, and was born like that.

She is 8 years old and uses different ways to communicate with her friends, and grandparents.

 

Age Aimed-

Aimed towards children in grades 3-5th

 

~~~~~~

 

This is Megan.

She's eight years old, and is deaf.

Deaf means that she can't hear.

So how does she communicate with people?

 

Communication is a big word for talking with others.

You may be able to talk with people at school, but Megan can't hear people she is talking to.

 

Even though Megan is deaf, she can still speak, and the people speaking to her have to use Sign Language.

Sign Language is a language of the lands, and if you want to talk to Megan, you have to talk with her with your hands.

 

Megan has other ways to talk to people with her Grandparents over the phone.

When she wants to call her papa, she uses her cautioned telephone.

 

Usually when you use a telephone, you hear what the other person is saying, but Megan's telephone shows what the other person is saying on a screen that she can read.

 

Even though Megan may not be able to hear, she can still live normally with a little bit of help.

She can watch TV with the words at the bottom, and can email people as well.

 

Megan is just like you and me, so treat her well, and try to learn sign language so nobody can be left out!

I think this is really good already and doesn't need any fixing imo. Though, if you wanted to you could try to make the last sentence/closing a little more catchy maybe? The whole thing sounds good for the target audience Nice work there. I have a question, will there be pictures? Also I'm just confused about one thing, when you say "language of the lands" - what does that mean exactly?

 

Other than that, ASL is really fun and interesting, so I was wondering do you sign? I've been teaching myself but it's hard to read others' signing with no one to practice with ;u;. If you want to see some free online lessons, look up "Bill Vicars" on youTube - he's got loads of instructional vids. They quiz you too so it's really helpful. I could also recommend you some books, two of which could be found at your library. I've got one big old ASL dictionary of my own though, it was about $30 but it's got eeeeeeveryhing. It's really helpful and handy, and it never hurts to learn some basic sign There's a deaf man and daughter that come to my work sometimes. I've seen other customers sign with him but i don't think anyone else who works here knows it? Or maybe they do, they just hadn't seen him, haha.

 

But yeah, this is great. Keep up the good work!

Typo. I meant language of the hands. Oops.

 

I don't sign actually. I have started learning simply due to my bad ulcers I get in my mouth. (I can't speak if they get really bad).

 

And I should totally make it catchy. Or it's dull. And uninteresting.

Typo. I meant language of the hands. Oops.I don't sign actually. I have started learning simply due to my bad ulcers I get in my mouth. (I can't speak if they get really bad).And I should totally make it catchy. Or it's dull. And uninteresting.

Ohhh, haha, yeah that makes way more sense And yeah no the whole story was interesting, I just think leaving off on a phrase with more "oomf" would reaaaally finish it off nicely.

 

And you could start learning sign whenever, it's all about memory, and practice. Check out that Bill Vicars guy when youget a chance!

 

And good luck with your story~