And surging magically around the room, it seemed as if the complex profusion of notes were bouncing, swaying in glee, as they danced proudly but softly. Strong but gentle. As if a no longer destructive tornado, but one of pleasure, was spinning and whirring, a dazzling and spectacular trail in my mind

First of, the title, not something you would actually put if it it was printed in a book.

You said you got 'amazing' vocabulary from Twilight. Honestly, it's not that great. It's a wall of pink text with way too many hyphens. Honestly I feel like you threw a bunch of words you got from Twilight together and wrote this

Twilight's vocabulary isn't amazing by the way.

I just read Twilight, and I was bored and wrote this, lol. I had to look up most of the words in Twilight, anyway.

You could've used a thesaurous

Use your own words, not random words from a book.

When you do that it's not actualy writing