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khkyle

Text kingdom hearts the twilight begging

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Introduction

 

Long ago, the world was united and filled with warm light. People loved the light and eventually began to fight over it. Then began the war. Then darkness to find its way into people hearts .darkness consumed the hearts and the light of people. In a flash it spread

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Chapter 3

A storm hit the island I heard Sora leave so I followed him. When I got to the island Riku and Kiari where there. I found Riku and Sora I could tell things were bad and about to get worse. The next thing I remember was darkness shrouding me. Falling then a light awakes me I was in a new world Riku as standing right beside me

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okay didn't take as long as i thought no comment about xemnas being mansex

 

 

Chapter 5

I woke up in a place full of light but the feel of darkness. I could tell this place was the land between. I just sat there for a while thinking about what had happened. I could feel the darkness inside of me stronger than ever. Maleficent must have had put me in here, but why? What happened in the realm of darkness why couldn

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this is me adding

 

Chapter special

after i went through the portal, weird things came to me.

"why u in me castle"said Melificent

"no idea u old lady"

keyblade came out of no where.

"i am Ansem. no one escapes me that easily."

Sora appeared

"ansem give riku back"said sora

"and melificent"

Dragon came out of nowhere

Kyle killed it

"no sora, dont suicide'said kyle

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I like your story by the way your name Kyle would you happen to know someone by the name Justin who love's kh & Naruto?

 

not that i can think of but im not the type of fan to show it off im the quite fan

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ok so the next chapter will have kyle riku and sora's fight then after that this story will be over but this story is a trilogy and then there is a 2nd series after this. the next series will be flowing the organization 13 kids

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Some stuff I'd like to critique on:

-You pretty much copied the introduction word for word from the manga. There is a word for this.

-Kyle is pretty much a textbook example of a Gary-Stu. This will help you out a lot as you're writing.

-There's wayyy too much dialogue; a well-written story balances out the amount of dialogue and the amount of description.

-Punctuation is your best friend. Use it.

 

Sorry if I sound sort of harsh. xD;;

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Some stuff I'd like to critique on:

-You pretty much copied the introduction word for word from the manga. There is a word for this.

-Kyle is pretty much a textbook example of a Gary-Stu. This will help you out a lot as you're writing.

-There's wayyy too much dialogue; a well-written story balances out the amount of dialogue and the amount of description.

-Punctuation is your best friend. Use it.

 

Sorry if I sound sort of harsh. xD;;

 

no it's not harsh i like criticism better than people saying they like the story it helps me more

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Christmas Special Time

kyle:welcome to the kh ttb x-mas special

looks at empty seat where crowed should be sitting

kyle: where is everybody

sora:kyle we are still 4 days away from x-mas

kyle:really can we just skip to x-mas i mean what could happen in the next 4 days

sora: i dont know the worlds could burn the writer and co writer might die i dont know

writer: you want me and jw doll to die

sora: no put i could happen

writer: ok lets just use this to advertise for the special and the live stream of kh that me and jw doll will be doing next monday

kyle: i think we just did

writer: well okay then that was fast

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WARNING: adult language

________________________________________________________________

 

X-MAS special

Kyle: welcome everyone to the x-mas special and here are the two other co hosts that aren

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