This is a fake fanfic I used this to make it some are soooo funny http://prillalar.com/drabbles/

 

The Reatardidly Stranger

 

The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Roxas strode along the path, making for Petite Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, he carried the Spazzy Xion, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Head.

 

A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave him warning and he drew his repulsive keyblade just in time to face the happily woman who flew at him with such grace that he was almost dazzled.

 

The woman struck deeply, and Roxas barely raised his keyblade to meet the attack. They fought long and fairly until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.

 

At last, Roxas found himself forced to one knee, the woman's keyblade pressed to his sadly ear. "I am Namine of Petite Castle," she said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Spazzy Xion. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you in a house."

 

But Roxas had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up his keyblade with a twist, overpowered Namine and pinned her to the ground. "What say you now?" Roxas said, looking down upon her.

 

Namine's arm shimmered like the darkness surrounding the light. "I have underestimated you, Roxas. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."

 

Roxas's desire was enflamed. His ear throbbed and all his thoughts were to jump Namine like a Moogle. Roxas caressed Namine's large arm and she responded. They came together gleefuly, and their joining was as scary as their battle, and also much louder.

 

"Ah, my sweet castle!" Roxas groaned and fell Namine as generally as he could.

 

"Ouch!" she yelled. "What the hell is that?"

 

"Oh," Roxas said. "That's where I put the Spazzy Xion for safekeeping. Sorry."

 

When they had finished their romp, they drowsed extremely on the grass, forgetful of all but their sickly love. "We will stay together forever," Namine said, and they began all over again.

 

And so it was that the Wizard Head never got the Spazzy Xion and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.

 

 

 

I used this http://prillalar.com/drabbles/

 

its awesome!

 

here's more

1000 Castle Moogles

 

Roxas paced deeply back and forth. Scary dread filled his heart. Namine should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like her to be late. Oh, my sickly love, Roxas thought. Where could you be?

 

Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Namine had been taken hostage by Repulsive Ear, a supervillain who had the city in a state of spazzy terror. Roxas fainted dead away, like the darkness surrounding the light.

 

When he came to, there was a bump on his arm and the scary dread had returned. "Namine, my happily honey bunny," he cried out gleefuly. "What is Repulsive Ear doing to you?" Probably torturing her, laughing extremely as he fell her in the head.

 

In the midst of all the terror and tears, Roxas remembered a story his grandmother had told him. If you fold 1000 castle Moogles, then whatever you wish for will come true.

 

Roxas ordered in a supply of castle and set to work, folding Moogles until his arm was sore and he could hardly see. It took a week. He was just finishing up the very last Moogle when Namine walked in the front door.

 

"Namine!" Roxas screamed and threw himself into Namine's arms. "It worked! I folded 1000 castle Moogles and it brought you back to me." He was so happy, he felt like he was dancing in a house. He kissed Namine fairly on the head.

 

"Actually," Namine said, pulling away generally, "I was rescued by the Reatardidly Xion. He's a new superhero in town." Namine sighed. "And he's really petite."

 

The scary dread came back. "But you're sadly to be back here with me, right?"

 

Namine checked her watch. "Sure. But I've got to go meet the Reatardidly Xion for coffee now to, you know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay large, baby." She left and the door banged behind her.

 

Roxas choked back a sob and started folding another Moogle. Then he went out and got drunk instead.

 

 

The Miracle Of The Moogle

 

Roxas hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it like the darkness surrounding the light. He loathed it.

 

Every December, Roxas would feel himself getting all scary inside. He refused to put up a Christmas castle, he snapped at anyone reatardidly enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.

 

On December 13, Roxas had to go to the mall to buy a happily keyblade. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing fairly around and so much Christmas music blaring deeply, he thought his head would explode.

 

Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a petite woman collecting for charity. Roxas never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.

 

Suddenly, the petite woman dropped his bells and ran in a house. There was a sickly Moogle right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the petite woman slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!

 

Roxas rushed out and extremely pushed them both out of the way. There was a spazzy bang and then everything went dark.

 

When Roxas woke up, he was in a sadly room. There was a Christmas castle in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Roxas's arm hurt. A lot.

 

The petite woman came into the room. "I'm so large!" she said. "You're awake. My name is Namine. You saved me from the truck. But your arm is broken."

 

Roxas hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas castle up and his arm was broken, he felt quite repulsive, especially when he looked at Namine.

 

"Your arm must hurt gleefuly," Namine said. "I think this will help." And she fell Roxas several times.

 

Now Roxas felt very repulsive indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved Namine. "I love you," he said, and kissed Namine generally.

 

"I love you too," said Namine. Just then, the Moogle ran into the room and nuzzled Roxas's ear. "I brought him home with us," Namine said.

 

"We'll call him Miracle," Roxas said. "Our Christmas Miracle."

 

It was the best Christmas ever.

Charmingly Tripping

 

Ventus tripped along bluntly. He was on his way to meet his lover, Lea, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a heartless hopping along, carrying a dog in its mouth.

 

Ventus was almost on a rock when he came across a confident cake, lying alone on a light plate. "That must be a treat from my modest bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked depressed, so he ate it.

 

It gave him the most medieval tingling sensation in his heart. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Lea.

 

When Lea came out to meet him, he took one look and fell over.

 

"What is it?" Ventus cried abnormally.

 

"Your head! And your soul!" Lea said. "They're beautiful! Can't you feel it?"

 

Ventus felt his head and his soul. They were indeed quite beautiful. "Oh, no!" Ventus said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that confident cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"

 

"I didn't leave you any cake," Lea said. "I got you a fish. It must have been that bitter man who lives nearby. He acts a little carelessly, ever since he pushed a house."

 

"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Ventus sobbed.

 

"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Lea said aimlessly, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your head is really extreme like that."

 

"Really?" Ventus dried her tears. Ventus kissed Lea and it was an entirely bashful sensation, like a rainbow that casts a happy glow o'er all the land.

 

They spent the night having entirely bashful sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.

 

Everything was rather awkward after that.

To Hurridly Punish

 

Roxas and Xion were celebrating a blue Valentine's Day together. Roxas had cooked a beautiful dinner and they ate in a pool by candlelight.

 

"My darling," Xion said, stroking Roxas's arm, "I have something for you." She gave a box to Roxas. "It is but a dark token of my huge love."

 

Roxas opened the box. Inside was a sad nightstand! He gazed at it happily. Then he gazed at Xion happily. "It's moist," Roxas said. "Come here and let me punish you."

 

Just then, a hot crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a wild dog to a red, juicy steak. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a small voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.

 

Xion read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."

 

They stared at each other desparately as the crone cackled some more. Roxas's tongue began to tremble. Then Xion shrugged, pulled out a book, and hit the crone on her leg. She fell over dead.

 

"Problem solved!" Roxas said and kissed Xion casually. "This is a happy Valentine's Day!"

 

They eagerly burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.

 

And then they punished each other all night long.

________________________________________

Lol, just to hilarious not to post. I think their definition of "punished" is different then mine.

oh lawd what have I done.

 

 

A Sticky Day To Fall

 

Axel stepped quickly out into the Japanese sunshine, and admired Justin Bieber's eye. "Ah," he sighed, "That's a picky sight."

 

Justin Bieber climbed off the cellphone and walked tiredly across the grass to greet his lover. Axel patted Justin Bieber on the vajayjay and then tried to fall him spazzily, but without success.

 

"That's all right," Justin Bieber said. "We can try again later."

 

"I'm just not cute," Axel. "Not as cute as the time we fell near the fish."

 

Justin Bieber nodded stupidly. "We were foolish back in those days."

 

"Our foots were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Axel said. "Everything seems stupid and blue when you're young."

 

"Of course," Justin Bieber said. "But now we're horrifying, we can still have fun. If we go about it slowly."

 

"Slowly?" Axel said . "But how?"

 

"With this," Justin Bieber said and held out a delicious bird. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to fall."

 

Axel swallowed the bird at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to fall slowly. They fell like a dog that ate too many biscuits. Three times.

 

And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.

 

 

 

Kairi and Larxene

by William Shakespeare

 

Enter Kairi

 

Larxene appears above at a window

 

Kairi:

But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?

It is the fork, and Larxene is the penguin.

Arise, light penguin, and bitchslap the hilarious iPod.

See, how she leans her ring finger upon her toenail!

O, that I were a glove upon that toenail,

That I might touch that ring finger!

 

Larxene:

O Kairi, Kairi! wherefore art thou Kairi?

What's in a name? That which we call a kneecap

By any other name would smell as evil

Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like a leprechaun on the first day of January"

And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,

Thou mayst prove crazy.

 

Kairi:

Lady, by yonder hilarious iPod I swear

That tips in a coffee cup the fishy cookie--

 

Larxene:

O, swear not by the iPod, the happy iPod,

That happily changes in its dark orb,

Lest that thy love prove likewise dark.

Sweet, beautiful night! A thousand times beautiful night!

Parting is such yellow sorrow,

That I shall say beautiful night till it be morrow.

 

Exit above

 

Kairi:

Sleep dwell upon thy ring finger, peace in thy toenail!

Would I were sleep and peace, so carelessly to rest!

quietly will I to my light kneecap's cell,

Its help to bitchslap, and my evil kneecap to tell.

 

 

 

 

The Pug Prince

 

Namine was walking through a sticky meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around her head when she spied a weird little pug lying under a tree.

 

Namine skipped over to see the dear thing and was greasy to find that he was hurt! A banana had pierced his wet little liver and he whimpered carelessly with the pain.

 

"My gross little friend," Namine said. "Let me help you!" She took out her Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the banana, as stupidly as she could. The pug cried out and Namine's heart ached, like a catboy without a maid dress. "You'll be all right," Namine whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Hayner and you can live with me forever!"

 

Scooping Hayner up in her arms, Namine carried him home and made a bed for him beside her own. For seven days and seven nights, Namine nursed Hayner, cleaning his liver and feeding him Phone-brand pug chow.

 

On the eighth night, Hayner climbed into bed with Namine. He burrowed under the covers and disgustingly jumped Namine's stomach. It made Namine giggle and she cuddled close to Hayner, stroking his elbow and singing delicately to him.

 

They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Namine hurried home so she could curl up with Hayner. It gave her a confusing feeling whenever Hayner jumped her stomach.

 

Then one night, Hayner looked up at Namine and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a complete prince."

 

Namine screamed yummily, she was so surprised. How could a pug talk? She must have dropped off and dreamed it.

 

"You're not dreaming," Hayner said. "Kiss me."

 

"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Namine said and kissed Hayner on his elbow. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a complete prince! With a crown and everything!

 

"I'm Prince Hayner," he said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."

 

"Is it really you?" Namine said.

 

"See?" Hayner said and showed Namine the scar from the banana on his liver. Then he kissed Namine and they tumbled with a fish and did a lot of very slick things, some of them involving a broken dream.

 

"I love you," Hayner said when they were done. Namine clasped him close and they lived together happily ever after on all the prince treasure Hayner had stashed away.

 

And if Hayner didn't know about Namine's visits to the pug sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt him.

Wait, so this is like a totally epic version of Mad Libs? That means I've got to get started right away! I'll go make a few things and then post them here.

 

If anyone is using that thing and is having a hard time coming up with Adjectives or Adverbs, I found these two places helpful:

 

Adjectives

 

Adverbs

 

This one was a little interesting O.o lol, if you get the Red vs. Blue reference then it makes me happy.

 

 

I'm Dreaming Of A Wet Christmas

 

It was Christmas Eve. Francisco Montegue Zanzabar sat intentionally on a pole, sipping cuddly eggnog.

 

He looked at the quaint cup hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Robot #2 had hung it there, just before they looked at each other eagerly and then fell into each other's arms and ran each other's mouth.

 

If only I hadn't been so witty, Francisco Montegue Zanzabar thought, pouring a rapid amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Robot #2 might not have got so itchy and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away a colossal tear and held his butt in his hand.

 

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a tender voice lifted carefully up in song.

 

 

I'm dreaming of a wet Christmas

 

Just like an orgasm in the middle of the ocean

 

 

Francisco Montegue Zanzabar ran to the door. It was Robot #2, looking thundering all over with snow.

 

"I missed you rarely," Robot #2 said. "And I wanted to run your mouth again."

 

Francisco Montegue Zanzabar hugged Robot #2 and started to sob.

 

"I think you're drunk," Robot #2 said.

 

"I think so too," Francisco Montegue Zanzabar said and they ran each other's mouth until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

 

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted cow vagina and lived underground until Francisco Montegue Zanzabar got drunk again.