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Posted

I'm gonna take a break from this for a bit. You know, witty banter doesn't write itself. So I'll have my good friend Cookie Masterson take over for a bit...

Hi, I'm Cookie Masterson, and this game may contain mild violence and full-frontal donkey nudity.

It's funny. If I squint my eyes, it looks like I'm watching a presidential debate.

 

 

And today's Wrong Answer of the Game is brought to you by:

 

Supreme Court Children's Vitamins

"There may not be a lot of vitamins in hamburger, but there are plenty of vitamins in Warren Burger."

Okay, no turning back...

 

1ne: Asstronomy

How many Earths could you stuff into the volume of Uranus before it just couldn't take any more?

a. 6

b. 63

c. 630

d. 6,300

 

2wo: Five. Five Dollar. Five Dollar Artwork.

Suppose Jackson Pollock had become a sandwich artist at Subway. What would his supervisor have noted about his performance?

a. "Wastes time by precisely laying each vegetable."

b. "Overuses the sauce squirters."

c. "Insists on cutting bread at 45-degree angles."

d. "Always shapes the ham into flowers."

 

3hree: Who's the Dummy?

 

So, I've been practicing ventrilaquism lately, and I'm getting pretty good. I just have a little problem with my b's, p's, and m's. Anyway, I'd like to introdue my partner Billy O'Brien. Say hello, Billy O'Brien. "Hello, Dilly O'Drien."

 

"One's mad of skin, one's made of wood, so... who's the dummy?"

 

Bily, It's good to see ya. "I wish I could say the same thing, dunny." Just, just get on with the question... "Caln down, nister nan! So, I'd deen tanning a trit to get away fron dis dunny, dut for some un... unresolded legal drodlens I can't have a tasstort. Which of these trotical destinations is a U.S. territory and, therefore, wouldn't require a tasstort to travel to?"

 

a. the Dahanas

b. Cuda

c. Guan

d. Doninican Retudlic

 

4our: I'll Dance, But I'm Not Wearing A Hard Hat

 

Which of these characters is NOT dressed to resemble a member of the Village People?

 

a. Woody from Toy Story

b. Bob the Builder

c. Captain Hook

d. Chief Wiggum

 

5ive: Pope Rock... and it's a DisOrDat!

 

I'm gonna read you seven names, and you're going to tell me if it's: a) the name of a pope, or b ) the name of a Britney Spears song.

 

Innocent

Lucky

Urban

Outrageous

Hilarius

Toxic

Lonely

 

And that does it for round 1. Remember, prizes are doubled in round 2!

 

6ix: I Pezzed My Pants

 

Suppose Pez comes out with a Perez Hilton dispenser. If your Perez Hilton Pez is packed completely full of Pez just like Perez is chock full of juicy celebrity gossip, how many Pez could you suck from Perez's neck?

 

a. 8 Pez per Perez Pez

b. 10 Pez per Perez Pez

c. 12 Pez per Perez Pez

d. 14 Pez per Perez Pez

 

7even: Hole In More Than One

Since Tiger Woods got married in 2004, in which year was Tiger Woods' wood anniversary?

 

a. 2005

b. 2006

c. 2008

d. 2009

 

8ight: Foodies In A Half Shell

Given the dietary habits of tortoises, what would the Teenage Mutant Ninja TORTOISES most likely order at Pizza Hut?

 

a. a Super Supreme Pizza

b. Meat Lover's Pizza- hold the pizza, meat only

c. a Veggie Lover's Pizza

d. no pizza, just a two liter of Coke

 

9ine: Don't Come In Here, I'm Feldsparring!

What do a Victoria' Secret model and the mineral feldspar have in common?

 

a. both are extremely hot

b. both are partially synthetic

c. both are thin and malleable

d. both have perfect cleavage

 

10n: Harold & Kumar Go To The Middle Ages

If it were like castles of yore, how could White Castle defend itself from the marauding Harold and Kumar?

 

a. paint the resteraunt black

b. build the resteraunt in a valley

c. throw onions at them to blind them

d. pour hot fryer oil on them

 

JACK ATTACK!

Remember the clue!

 

"The Hair Up There"

For some, every day's a bad hair day. Good luck...

 

Medusa

Chia Head

Cabbage Patch Kids

Pinhead

Ghost Rider

Barbie

the Scarecrow

 

spaghetti

tiny elves

bees

leaves

fire

straw

corned beef

yarn

Really???

astroturf

snakes

Play-Doh

pins

marshmallows

actual human hair

nylon

Featured Replies

 

Did I win??

I do not know this Jack of which you speak, why do you ask?

  • Author

 

Did I win??

 

No. You failed like the last Doomsday.

YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

1. d, was I the only one who laughed at stuffing it in...

2. d, it sounds fun

3. c, Guam?

4. d, the only one I don't know, and the same answer I guessed on the ACT today

5. Brittney, Brittney, Pope, BRittney, Brittney, Brttney, Brittney (spelling fails, hey that was fun!)

6. d, same reason as four, and it's fun to say.

7, d, because his wife gave him Woods, which she then proceeded to total his car with..

8. c, turtles are herbavores, right?

9. d, b/c I cracked up

10. c, I get a strange feeling that onions would work...

 

Medusa-Snakes

Chia Pet-Leaves

Cabbage Patch Kids-Yarn

Pinhead-Pins?

Ghostrider-FIRE!

Barbie-Nylon

Scarecrow-Straw

 

I felt good about the last section. The rest was like the Chemistry AP test. But more fun.

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