A while ago, at around 4am I decided to write a story. Originally I had planned for this dude to get some sort of special power or something (Because, special powers are cool right?) and go off to some magical world and fight stuff. I might continue it. I had character profiles somewhere. Anyway, here it is. I would love to get into writing more, so maybe being back on this forum will get me into it Please keep in mind that this was written at around 4am. I would like some critique so that I can improve what. I'm unsure what to title this. I've never been good at putting titles on my stories. I guess for now I'll call it... "Death God" "Where....am I?" It was pitch black. So dark in fact that if I were to wave my hand in front of my face I wouldn't be able to see it. I began to slowly walk forward. "What's going on?" I felt the cool breeze of a winter night blow past me. I began to shiver. The perpetual darkness began to scare me as I continued aimlessly walking in the same direction. My breathing became heavy, I slowly started to run as if to get away from an invisible pursuer. I began to hear a loud beeping noise. "Huh? what's that noise?" I kept on running. I began to run faster and faster until something grabbed my arm. My eyelids snapped open the first thing I saw was my mother's angry face glaring at me. "You're finally awake" she said sounding irritated. I turn over to look at my alarm clock and I lowered my eyelids. "7am.." I slammed my hand down onto the snooze button with all my might shutting of the noisy beeping. "If you don't get up now you'll be late for school." I ignored my mother's warning and slammed my head back down onto my wet yet warm pillow. Was this drool? "Don't go back to sleep!" She yelled. I felt a sharp stinging sensation across my cheek. "OUCH!!" I yelled as the pain threw me out of bed. "Who the hell slaps their child with a leek?!" I began to rub my cheek to sooth the pain. "Just get up. I don't want you to miss the first day of your second year at high school." She said with a smile on her face. Her expression changed into a sinister look as she raised the leak in her hand into the air. "OK OK! I get it! I'll get up now! Just don't hit me with the leek again!" My cheek still stung from the last powerful strike she gave me. "Breakfast is downstairs. Come down when your ready, and don't go back to sleep again!" My door slammed shut as I let out a deep sigh. "School already, huh?" I reluctantly rose from the bed and stared at my book shelf. "What manga should I take?" I began lazily walking over to the shelf and grabbed the closet One Piece volume within my grasp. "Enies Lobby huh?"EDIT: There is a link in this thread linking to the story with a prologue chapter and chapter 1. Please check it out! It is titled, Working Title. I still can't think of anything hahaha.
A while ago, at around 4am I decided to write a story. Originally I had planned for this dude to get some sort of special power or something (Because, special powers are cool right?) and go off to some magical world and fight stuff. I might continue it. I had character profiles somewhere. Anyway, here it is. I would love to get into writing more, so maybe being back on this forum will get me into it
Please keep in mind that this was written at around 4am. I would like some critique so that I can improve what. I'm unsure what to title this. I've never been good at putting titles on my stories. I guess for now I'll call it... "Death God" "Where....am I?" It was pitch black. So dark in fact that if I were to wave my hand in front of my face I wouldn't be able to see it. I began to slowly walk forward. "What's going on?" I felt the cool breeze of a winter night blow past me. I began to shiver. The perpetual darkness began to scare me as I continued aimlessly walking in the same direction. My breathing became heavy, I slowly started to run as if to get away from an invisible pursuer. I began to hear a loud beeping noise. "Huh? what's that noise?" I kept on running. I began to run faster and faster until something grabbed my arm. My eyelids snapped open the first thing I saw was my mother's angry face glaring at me. "You're finally awake" she said sounding irritated. I turn over to look at my alarm clock and I lowered my eyelids. "7am.." I slammed my hand down onto the snooze button with all my might shutting of the noisy beeping. "If you don't get up now you'll be late for school." I ignored my mother's warning and slammed my head back down onto my wet yet warm pillow. Was this drool? "Don't go back to sleep!" She yelled. I felt a sharp stinging sensation across my cheek. "OUCH!!" I yelled as the pain threw me out of bed. "Who the hell slaps their child with a leek?!" I began to rub my cheek to sooth the pain. "Just get up. I don't want you to miss the first day of your second year at high school." She said with a smile on her face. Her expression changed into a sinister look as she raised the leak in her hand into the air. "OK OK! I get it! I'll get up now! Just don't hit me with the leek again!" My cheek still stung from the last powerful strike she gave me. "Breakfast is downstairs. Come down when your ready, and don't go back to sleep again!" My door slammed shut as I let out a deep sigh. "School already, huh?" I reluctantly rose from the bed and stared at my book shelf. "What manga should I take?" I began lazily walking over to the shelf and grabbed the closet One Piece volume within my grasp. "Enies Lobby huh?"EDIT: There is a link in this thread linking to the story with a prologue chapter and chapter 1. Please check it out! It is titled, Working Title. I still can't think of anything hahaha.
Edited by OathOfOblivionXIII