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Posted

Sa

Featured Replies

Sora, if your going to comment, say something that needs editing, for example, your punctuation is incorrect (which it isnt) but yeah, understand?

Thanks.

But yeah, thats really good, DChiuch approves too. Anyone else can feel free to add to it though, if you have anymore, but deathskull has covered alot.

I dont know why i even said i didn't even read it LOL.

Adding something

Saix Quickly Got Higher up in the Organization, he became 2nd in Command. He Ordered Axel to Eliminate the Traitors and those that where getting in the way. At a time Saix wanted to take over the Organization. These Plans were probably forgotten During The Time Sora awoken.

That's really nice DeathSkull! :3

I'm a little bit short on time, so I cant read all of it but what I've seen so far looks pretty good!

 

@Sora: "Saix quickly got higher up in the organization, he became second in command." Okay, but it kind of feels like it's an incomplete thought or the sentence just isn't making enough sense. Maybe a better sentence would be, "Sa

  • Author

@Sora96

 

...Eh I was offline so I have no idea what you meant about that first part. And I'll add that in the first paragraph.

 

@Kaiso

 

Why thank you.

 

Oh and I fix a couple of errors I found in there, so I believe they should be the last of them. If you do find anymore, please notify me.

Yeah Kaiso, i was just adding a draft so he could add that stuff.

This is very good, well done. My only complaint is about the grammar at some points, please make sure that your sentences use proper grammar and remain in past tense. However, disregarding this, this synopsis is amazing. Here's my edited version:

  • Author

Ummmm, let's stick to the thread and being on-topic, and not pointless bickering about double posting.

 

And Daniel, your edited version is much better. I fixed the parts to what you wrote.

 

However, if anyone still wishes to add anything, be sure to do so.

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