Insanity

[Sorage55 10]

 

Instantly when I walk away from my friends, I feel sad and lonely inside. And he starts talking. I'm going to try to talk to "The Other One" more often now, but we don't have much to talk about.

 

Yesh, finally! Now I got a right diagnosis! Yeah, Sorage, it's just that you're smart chap that feeling lonely in your inside world, your inside world is so wide and complex that you want to share it with people, unfortunely the one that completely understands your inside is your inner, and it's just happen to be the 'black' one. At this point you may think I'm just blabbering up (it's wrong, I think logically and a lot about you), you want the proofs?

1) Your brain is strong enough to bring up the specific inner talk for quite a long time (whatever your time is, your story tells me I'm far below you, I'm getting headache too soon)

2) Your creativity in writing and flash making is awesome, I'm in different style but I know you're highly talented in your genre, which indicates an incredibly complex inside world(--look at famous textbook painter and poet, is there anyone that ISN'T crazy??)

3) It first happened when you're playing game, which means you were being lonely. The point is you are being lonely.

4) ANYONE in kh13 can see that you're a nice person, indicates you're not falling for darkness like normal sinners. Which means if you did one of seven sins, it's something you're deeply regret and don't want it to happen again. Indicates a strong heart.

Talk about your biggest problems with him! About that black one trouble! I'm sure he can help you. Anyhow.

 

I would tell him time and again my trouble, he would either laugh or taunt me. Or both. The Light one, he doesn't talk, to me at all. Maybe he can't talk? I do try to keep away from the deadly sins, naught of which I wish to pay in the after life for. Literally, as I walk around through school while passing through classes, I look the same outside, but inside I am yelling "GET OUT OF MY HEAD! SHUT UP!" Those are the phrases I most use. So far, i've only talked about him. But there are other strange things I do alone without him. Sometimes, I automatically think of myself, as someone else in my clothes. If I look at a person, and he is taunting me about that person, when I react in my head by telling him to shut up, my mind pictures me as that person in the argument. I feel like a damn skin walker (shape shifter) when this keeps happening to me, sometimes I think of myself instead of as someone else, but instead of having brownish fur all around my body, my eyes yellow, my ears pointed, my nose enlarged slightly frontward, canine teeth, my skin tanned. Like a werewolf without a tail. (For a werewolf shouldn't have a tail because that would mean new bones in the spine would have to be created for an extension leading out like that.) Sometimes, I even think about the pretty girls or girls I have a crush on at school, when i'm indesicive I try to do the skin walker process, if it succeded, I usually quote myself: "As you can see, she is not for me." This usually happens all the time, except for one girl. There must be some calculation to that substance, the multiplacation of the face features by the total height and width of both persons equaling a mass of unknown.

[RoxAs Is Wise 7]

Gaa... that poetic language again... It's okay, just please correct me if I misunderstood any of it:

As far as I know Sorage (and looks like you've experienced it), telling it to get out of your head will never, never work (it's like telling bully not to hurt you that of course results him enjoying your suffering even more), try to work out your physical body instead of talking to it to reconnect to physical world.

As for your skin walker stuff, I don't think it's really a big deal (yeah it's odd though), what's really the problem is looks like you drain yourself in the process, that's what's bad. People do crazy things in their mind, as long they don't cause damage to the outer world and themselves, it's totally fine.

It's like waste, you cannot vanish it, you can only minimize it.

Japanese management wisdom (Taguchi concept) says: vanish the effect instead of the cause, because doing otherwise costs you high and has lower probability to succeed. If I remember correctly.

 

everytime you use poetic language outside poem I feel like you're going further away from me...

 

(Another) quick cheat tip:

 

To reconnect to your body--done best in pre-sleeping or sitting down doing nothing--FEEL YOUR BLOOD STREAM WITHIN YOU. My friend said it's hard to do, but it's amazingly very easy for me. Maybe it's basic of yoga or something

 

 

@Gizelita

HAHAHAHA(I'm laughing in happiness knowing everyone's the same with me in this) Of course we all here because we're feeling lonely, that's what forums made for.

Creating character is about skill, girl. You should be proud, experiencing to the full is the best recipe to be successful in artistry market. If there's no one around it's fun to do it out loud, you know, I have a bad but fun behaviour of saying out loud funny dialogues of comics(manga) I'm reading, even when people are around me. I like humor so much that I want to feel the character to the fullest, I know I gotta do something with that behaviour, but in the meantime, I just enjoy it. Laugh before it's prohibited, everyone!

 

writing too long...

[Giginha 22]

Sorage, you're going at the wrong path (I think) as Roxas is Wise said, you need to find the cause first, if you just try to eliminete the problem, it will come back again, there must be some cause, but as I don't really know you, I can't say what it is, once you find it there'll be another difficult part that's find a solution.

 

@Roxas is Wise:

When I make a character I don't know how but I change my personality and think like her/him and sometimes act like him/her as well. It's pretty strange, every character I create in a story, a RP or something like that is a piece of my own personality. That's what I do when creating storys and characters. That happens when I'm watching films9incredible) and reading as well.

[Sorage55 10]

Hmmmmm. Well, what snaps me back to the physical world would be my daily physical pains coming from my back, which is healing from surgery. How it burns, how it bites me from the inside. I always think of my storys, the main character in The Adventures of Veinxs Poisenberry, how I always think of myself as him, always in his werewolf form from my first attempt at drawing him. lol, how he looks nothing like a real werewolf....

[RoxAs Is Wise 7]

Thank God, there's something that snaps you back, I once afraid you have gone like poet Poe or any poet like that . I'm praying for your cure, so that you can do sport, your body needs exercise in order to balance heart and mind. Your heart is complex (your own, not any other ones), the brain has already been able to keep up, which leaves only metabolism of body to follow. Can you run? I read that there's a painful disease that can be anesthetic-ed by running. Hm... I don't know much about textbook medical.

 

@Gizelita and also Sorage

Well, about creating character by thinking ourselves as him/her, I do it countless and countless of time, and I am a happy person for doing it. So I think it's healthy, like balancing games, we need to exercise muscles (of heart) we never know existed at times. Don't you think? (looking for justification )

[Giginha 22]

I think that we're getting out of the subject, but anyway, it's pretty normal for me to imagine myself as one of my characters (I have lots of them) espacially Xuffie from nobodys do have hearts (don't ask me why) and I think that's not a problem Sorage, and about your back, hope you get better soon.

[Sorage55 10]

I have been eating less than usual, since the hospital. Now I have lost enough weight that forced me to drill 2 more holes into my belt so it would fit, but I still appear gluttinous. The doctor, says that the numbness of my back and the back itself should be healed around summertime. But the pain is as if i'm being surrounded in a coccoon of pure silver. The very touch burning my skin. As for the poetry thing....that is too late for me. I am like Edgar Allan Poe, but my blood in heritage is for Thomas Hardy of early 1900 England. Though my best friend at school, is related to Edgar Allan Poe. I make about 20 rhymes and poems in my head each day without trying, my vocabulary containing archaic words. My mind is a race but I go my own pace, through thicket and thin I will win. Body heart and soul, I will reach the goal. (As you can see it has contaminated me -.-')

[Giginha 22]

I wonder if you talk like this everyday. :-/

[Sorage55 10]

Only in my mind, if I spoke to rhymes to everyone in a casual conversation, it would seem weird.

[Giginha 22]

It wouldn't just see weird, it would be weird, sorry.

[Sorage55 10]

No problem, all is forgiven, so we keep on livin'.