I can see people smile. They do it so often, all the time, all around me. I can hear them laugh, too. Its joyful to them. Like Hell is to me, when I really think about my life and where its headed. Either way, what I can't understand, is how. How do they just...so simply...feel that everlasting notion of joy and ardor? That, is what is truly beyond me. I forgot how to smile...so long ago.
Right now, my vision is blurry. The room— no, the entire world spins around my head before I can see anything going on. It dances in an endless, repeating waltz with the mere purpose to confuse and distort my life itself.
But still, the simplicity and quietude is soothing. The slight but cold breeze of the night, flowing through the opened window, sending the chill of the darkness down my spine. The metronome and the grandfather clock tick and tock in precise unision. The sound of the cries of the neighbor's baby next door breaks it, but is still distant. The walls covered with slick black and grey shadings and wavy patterns, only to be dirtied by the dirt and mold never seeming to be cleaned. Even a rat calmly slides through a hole and scurries away before being instantaneously slain by a mouse-trap, causing a loud CLANG sound before everything ceased again. The ticking of the metronome and grandfather clock continued, however.
The phone rings now, but I ignore it. It stops promptly upon its thirty second range. I finally move from my greyish red recliner to grab the cup of water set on the coffee table, quickly and throughly drinking it as a small tablet of sorts goes down my throat. Pills. Not illegal, I was never the kind of person to commit an illegal act. No, they were prescribed to me. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia a long.time ago...but I don't see what I usually see at this moment. The pills only help to calm me down. 1 A DAY— That's what the cartridge says.
But...today I've taken forty seven of them. It was all I could find for now. Everything feels looser...and darker...soon...black.
It has no name yet. I can't think of anything.
Chapter 1
I can see people smile. They do it so often, all the time, all around me. I can hear them laugh, too. Its joyful to them. Like Hell is to me, when I really think about my life and where its headed. Either way, what I can't understand, is how. How do they just...so simply...feel that everlasting notion of joy and ardor? That, is what is truly beyond me. I forgot how to smile...so long ago.
Right now, my vision is blurry. The room— no, the entire world spins around my head before I can see anything going on. It dances in an endless, repeating waltz with the mere purpose to confuse and distort my life itself.
But still, the simplicity and quietude is soothing. The slight but cold breeze of the night, flowing through the opened window, sending the chill of the darkness down my spine. The metronome and the grandfather clock tick and tock in precise unision. The sound of the cries of the neighbor's baby next door breaks it, but is still distant. The walls covered with slick black and grey shadings and wavy patterns, only to be dirtied by the dirt and mold never seeming to be cleaned. Even a rat calmly slides through a hole and scurries away before being instantaneously slain by a mouse-trap, causing a loud CLANG sound before everything ceased again. The ticking of the metronome and grandfather clock continued, however.
The phone rings now, but I ignore it. It stops promptly upon its thirty second range. I finally move from my greyish red recliner to grab the cup of water set on the coffee table, quickly and throughly drinking it as a small tablet of sorts goes down my throat. Pills. Not illegal, I was never the kind of person to commit an illegal act. No, they were prescribed to me. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia a long.time ago...but I don't see what I usually see at this moment. The pills only help to calm me down. 1 A DAY— That's what the cartridge says.
But...today I've taken forty seven of them. It was all I could find for now. Everything feels looser...and darker...soon...black.
Goodbye. No...good riddance.