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Col.Random last won the day on May 18 2020

Col.Random had the most liked content!


About Col.Random

  • Birthday 11/24/1996

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  1. thanks Wakeless! Yeah it feels a bi weird to let go of something you feel you need to hold on to, but there's no point when it's only one person holding on to it
  2. This was originally going to start as a post asking for advice so feel free to throw in your opinion, but lately I've been learning to be more confident and firm so I figured it was better to make this decision and just announce it here just because it kinda feels good to get it off my chest. Also this post is gonna be kinda long and doesn't have all the details cause ugh i'm so tired of putting more energy into this thing. (Also I apologize to the mods in advance cause I wasn't sure which forum this should go into >_<) I've been in love with this girl I met during my first year in college. I was hella nervous and awkward around her in the first few months so I can definitely understand how that must have turned her off. Anyway, I asked her out a bit too soon and naturally got a "do you mind being just friends?" reply. Obviously I said I was fine with it but I still liked her so I would still try texting her and talking to her when I could. She seemed to try avoiding me a lot, but was really nice and wouldn't ignore me. I would also try not being to pushy or text her regularly at first because well if someone's avoiding you, it's better not to keep bothering them. Of course I was a bit selfish I guess so every now and then I couldn't help but want to get to know her better so I would still approach and talk to her from time to time. (Note: I had been told at one point that a few of her friends actually recommended her to go out with me, so like you know I guess I wasn't as bad as I thought i was) This is where a friend usually told me I needed to be more persistent rather than giving up on her. That advice, is the advice that has bothered me for a long time, partially because in a lot of people's lovelife persistence does work. Because you see a lot of time has gone by since then and I did become more persistent in talking to her and we grew a bit closer. Some of my friends even felt we had good chemistry and that she did sort of like me. Eventually, before I transferred to America, I did confess my feelings and asked her if she sees us being a thing. She kind of gave me a personal reason for why she doesn't think it would work out and I understood and respected that. It kind of explained why she kept me at a distance and why it often felt like I was the only one ever starting our conversations, never the other way around I still kept talking to her every now and then, because I couldn't stop being in love with her and wanting to spend time with her or doing nice things for her where I could. Don't get me wrong, I definitely think I was being selfish. Eventually I transferred to the U.S and well, I decided it was time for me to stop being the person that always texts first and starts the conversation. We barely spoke since then and it became more and more clear that I was the only one ever trying to talk. I'm not sure why I'm like this, I've never felt so strongly about another woman ever before, so even after being really far away I couldn't stop thinking about her and on some level comparing other girls I met to her. I felt it was holding me back so i deleted her from my instagram and well she found out. She asked me about it and after a small argument I confessed that I still had feelings for her and needed space to move on.(PEOPLE TAKE NOTE: If you want to distance yourself from someone you've made your feelings clear to, please for the love of god talk to them BEFORE you do it) (Additonal note: during that conversation she said she didn't keep in touch because she felt I wanted to start a new. I get that, but it kind of doesn't change the fact that someone is willing to spend no time to even check up on how you're doing) Here's where a big part of my dilemma is. I have tried meeting other girls in my new university, but so far it feels like I still haven't met anyone I feel even half as strongly about. It's like what I felt for her was something special and even now I can't shake off the feeling that I'm making a mistake completely giving up on her and moving on. To make it more complicated, a close of friend of mine fell really deeply for a woman he met around the same time. He's the friend that advised me to be more persistent in the first place, because he was like that himself. In fact he was a bit too much, as everyone else around him usually says. He absolutely refuses to give up on her even after 3 years and has constantly kept texting and reaching out to the girl he likes first, only holding on to the really small chance that it can work out someday. Like me, he also transferred to the U.S so is far away from the woman he's been in love with, but he has constantly planned and focused on the idea that he can make it work out in the future, despite the fact that she now had two boyfriends since meeting him. But the thing is, she actually reaches out to him to keep in touch and they talk a lot about things, sometimes pretty deep conversations. It's even starting to sound like it might work out for him someday and I'd be happy for him, but it would sure as hell leave me with the feeling that I made the wrong choice. This is where I'm left questioning if my choices were wrong. Was constant, undying persistence in showing the woman you like you refuse to give up on her the right choice? Maybe I found someone really special and screwed everything up. I've been feeling like that alot, what if I had one chance at finding love and I was too shy to go for it and eventually gave up on her? What if I've screwed up by giving up on a woman who is sweet, honest, intelligent and open-minded. A woman who's values are similar to mine and feels like someone who would honestly make a great partner if we ever managed to give things a go. That's been eating at me a lot lately. What if I ruined my chance at love by giving up when I should have simply refused to give up and persuaded her to give things a chance? I think it scares me because I've grown up seeing a lot of bad marriages and relationships and I can't shake the idea that the chances of me having a happy one are little to none and I've sometimes heard people give this advice where when you find someone really special who makes amazes you and makes your heart skip a beat you hold on and never let go. But here I am, making the final decision to let go of her for good. I still have doubts about it and I'm a little scared I really am completely ending the chances of making things work out with a pretty amazing person, in a lot of ways that I'd rather not detail in a post on the internet. So what governed my decision to push forward and move on anyway? Because despite how naiive I am, I believe love, the love that's healthy and worth holding on to, is a two-way effort. She is a phenomenal woman and I may have been an idiot a couple of times, but the one thing I always felt was myself trying to give things a chance and her hardly trying. She had her reasons, I'm not silly enough to be mad at her for them, but I'm still going to move forward, because no matter how amazing she is, I don't feel happy. I don't feel happy about the idea of chasing someone who clearly doesn't want to be chased and I sure as hell don't wanna be a selfish jerk who expects her to put up with my feelings. I don't think being persistent is bad and I plan to be more confident and persistent the next time I really like someone, but whatever chance I had with this woman is in the past and at this point I think my feelings have just dragged on pointlessly. Another thing is my current belief that when it's meant to be and you walk away, that person is going to actually try and stop you. I don't see her even reaching out to me so I think I'm just going to keep moving on. I'll keep moving on till I find someone I like that makes me feel like I'm not the only one trying.
  3. It's a tough choice for me between Riku and Goofy
  4. have thou returnthed? x D

    1. Show previous comments  13 more
    2. teh lazy prince Xylek

      teh lazy prince Xylek

      RIGHT?!, I AM THE NEX...uhh i mean you're still here super blasphemy from quid jeez

    3. Col.Random


      I'm watching you

    4. teh lazy prince Xylek

      teh lazy prince Xylek

      wwwwwhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? psssh i'm totally loyal to the hedgehogs after they won the great kh13 war, my lord!

  5. nani damn this chat is moving faster than i can keep up
  6. For me one of my favorite things was the Donald and Goofy are the ones to join Sora for the final fight because KH1 started with these three teaming up and it felt amazing to see them team up for the last battle I did kinda hate that Xehanort got off easy though
  7. well speaking of anniversaries i'm around 8 years. GOD THIS WEBSITE LOOKS SO DIFFERENT NOW SLH IS THAT YOU?
  8. Been way too long. I can hardly recognize kh13 T_T

  9. Currently it's to look back at the older days like some weird old man
  10. Well what a coinky dink. I log in here after like forever just in time to wish KH13 a happy 10th year anniversary

    1. 2 quid is good

      2 quid is good

      Logical conclusion:Random is KH13


      *X-Files theme tune starts playing*

    2. Col.Random


      you know too much

  11. Hey everyone, so i've been trying to teach myself Japanese for the past few months and I'm kinda stuck at one point. I was hoping someone who understands Japanese could help explain to me what's going on in these conversations. Along side the actual conversations I've put my own translations of what I think is happening in the conversation so please correct me where I'm wrong ^^ Okay so this second one is where I'm getting a bit confused And for this one I have absolutely no idea wtf is going on Okay guys, i hope you've enjoyed watching me butcher the japanese language. Now I would really love you guys if you helped me figure some of this out. Along with that can someone elaborate on the meanings of: sono koto de mittsu-kita donna koto Thanks a bunch
  12. Useful thing I learnt today: Typing out everything making me sad and conflicted really helps. It's like it doesn't even make sense to be so depressed anymore

    1. Exiblade7


      I do the same thing, except I write it in a notebook. It's like blowing the mucus out of your nose.

    2. Col.Random


      it helps so much because instead of repeating the same thought in my head over and over i can just let it out once and see that i've already typed this. I think a key step in dealing emotions is learning when to stop thinking about one thing

    3. Exiblade7
  13. He's the worst. He does it on purpose; i wouldn't put it past him to try and beat Sora to death with his staff in KH3. I think sometimes he doesn't and sometimes he does so i guess it works for people every now and then, but there's moments where he fails you at the worst possible time. People tend to exaggerate in humour so that might be why you think people genuinely believe he sucks
  14. Damn, I sure haven't been on here in a while

    1. Show previous comments  10 more
    2. Xiro


      We can bring back those days!

      (But maybe another day lol)

    3. Col.Random


      yeah another day xD

    4. Col.Random


      If we start today then well there goes my exam for tomorrow

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