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Everything posted by Col.Random

  1. thanks Wakeless! Yeah it feels a bi weird to let go of something you feel you need to hold on to, but there's no point when it's only one person holding on to it
  2. This was originally going to start as a post asking for advice so feel free to throw in your opinion, but lately I've been learning to be more confident and firm so I figured it was better to make this decision and just announce it here just because it kinda feels good to get it off my chest. Also this post is gonna be kinda long and doesn't have all the details cause ugh i'm so tired of putting more energy into this thing. (Also I apologize to the mods in advance cause I wasn't sure which forum this should go into >_<) I've been in love with this girl I met during my first year in college. I was hella nervous and awkward around her in the first few months so I can definitely understand how that must have turned her off. Anyway, I asked her out a bit too soon and naturally got a "do you mind being just friends?" reply. Obviously I said I was fine with it but I still liked her so I would still try texting her and talking to her when I could. She seemed to try avoiding me a lot, but was really nice and wouldn't ignore me. I would also try not being to pushy or text her regularly at first because well if someone's avoiding you, it's better not to keep bothering them. Of course I was a bit selfish I guess so every now and then I couldn't help but want to get to know her better so I would still approach and talk to her from time to time. (Note: I had been told at one point that a few of her friends actually recommended her to go out with me, so like you know I guess I wasn't as bad as I thought i was) This is where a friend usually told me I needed to be more persistent rather than giving up on her. That advice, is the advice that has bothered me for a long time, partially because in a lot of people's lovelife persistence does work. Because you see a lot of time has gone by since then and I did become more persistent in talking to her and we grew a bit closer. Some of my friends even felt we had good chemistry and that she did sort of like me. Eventually, before I transferred to America, I did confess my feelings and asked her if she sees us being a thing. She kind of gave me a personal reason for why she doesn't think it would work out and I understood and respected that. It kind of explained why she kept me at a distance and why it often felt like I was the only one ever starting our conversations, never the other way around I still kept talking to her every now and then, because I couldn't stop being in love with her and wanting to spend time with her or doing nice things for her where I could. Don't get me wrong, I definitely think I was being selfish. Eventually I transferred to the U.S and well, I decided it was time for me to stop being the person that always texts first and starts the conversation. We barely spoke since then and it became more and more clear that I was the only one ever trying to talk. I'm not sure why I'm like this, I've never felt so strongly about another woman ever before, so even after being really far away I couldn't stop thinking about her and on some level comparing other girls I met to her. I felt it was holding me back so i deleted her from my instagram and well she found out. She asked me about it and after a small argument I confessed that I still had feelings for her and needed space to move on.(PEOPLE TAKE NOTE: If you want to distance yourself from someone you've made your feelings clear to, please for the love of god talk to them BEFORE you do it) (Additonal note: during that conversation she said she didn't keep in touch because she felt I wanted to start a new. I get that, but it kind of doesn't change the fact that someone is willing to spend no time to even check up on how you're doing) Here's where a big part of my dilemma is. I have tried meeting other girls in my new university, but so far it feels like I still haven't met anyone I feel even half as strongly about. It's like what I felt for her was something special and even now I can't shake off the feeling that I'm making a mistake completely giving up on her and moving on. To make it more complicated, a close of friend of mine fell really deeply for a woman he met around the same time. He's the friend that advised me to be more persistent in the first place, because he was like that himself. In fact he was a bit too much, as everyone else around him usually says. He absolutely refuses to give up on her even after 3 years and has constantly kept texting and reaching out to the girl he likes first, only holding on to the really small chance that it can work out someday. Like me, he also transferred to the U.S so is far away from the woman he's been in love with, but he has constantly planned and focused on the idea that he can make it work out in the future, despite the fact that she now had two boyfriends since meeting him. But the thing is, she actually reaches out to him to keep in touch and they talk a lot about things, sometimes pretty deep conversations. It's even starting to sound like it might work out for him someday and I'd be happy for him, but it would sure as hell leave me with the feeling that I made the wrong choice. This is where I'm left questioning if my choices were wrong. Was constant, undying persistence in showing the woman you like you refuse to give up on her the right choice? Maybe I found someone really special and screwed everything up. I've been feeling like that alot, what if I had one chance at finding love and I was too shy to go for it and eventually gave up on her? What if I've screwed up by giving up on a woman who is sweet, honest, intelligent and open-minded. A woman who's values are similar to mine and feels like someone who would honestly make a great partner if we ever managed to give things a go. That's been eating at me a lot lately. What if I ruined my chance at love by giving up when I should have simply refused to give up and persuaded her to give things a chance? I think it scares me because I've grown up seeing a lot of bad marriages and relationships and I can't shake the idea that the chances of me having a happy one are little to none and I've sometimes heard people give this advice where when you find someone really special who makes amazes you and makes your heart skip a beat you hold on and never let go. But here I am, making the final decision to let go of her for good. I still have doubts about it and I'm a little scared I really am completely ending the chances of making things work out with a pretty amazing person, in a lot of ways that I'd rather not detail in a post on the internet. So what governed my decision to push forward and move on anyway? Because despite how naiive I am, I believe love, the love that's healthy and worth holding on to, is a two-way effort. She is a phenomenal woman and I may have been an idiot a couple of times, but the one thing I always felt was myself trying to give things a chance and her hardly trying. She had her reasons, I'm not silly enough to be mad at her for them, but I'm still going to move forward, because no matter how amazing she is, I don't feel happy. I don't feel happy about the idea of chasing someone who clearly doesn't want to be chased and I sure as hell don't wanna be a selfish jerk who expects her to put up with my feelings. I don't think being persistent is bad and I plan to be more confident and persistent the next time I really like someone, but whatever chance I had with this woman is in the past and at this point I think my feelings have just dragged on pointlessly. Another thing is my current belief that when it's meant to be and you walk away, that person is going to actually try and stop you. I don't see her even reaching out to me so I think I'm just going to keep moving on. I'll keep moving on till I find someone I like that makes me feel like I'm not the only one trying.
  3. It's a tough choice for me between Riku and Goofy
  4. nani damn this chat is moving faster than i can keep up
  5. For me one of my favorite things was the Donald and Goofy are the ones to join Sora for the final fight because KH1 started with these three teaming up and it felt amazing to see them team up for the last battle I did kinda hate that Xehanort got off easy though
  6. well speaking of anniversaries i'm around 8 years. GOD THIS WEBSITE LOOKS SO DIFFERENT NOW SLH IS THAT YOU?
  7. Been way too long. I can hardly recognize kh13 T_T

  8. Currently it's to look back at the older days like some weird old man
  9. Well what a coinky dink. I log in here after like forever just in time to wish KH13 a happy 10th year anniversary

    1. 2 quid is good

      2 quid is good

      Logical conclusion:Random is KH13


      *X-Files theme tune starts playing*

    2. Col.Random


      you know too much

  10. Hey everyone, so i've been trying to teach myself Japanese for the past few months and I'm kinda stuck at one point. I was hoping someone who understands Japanese could help explain to me what's going on in these conversations. Along side the actual conversations I've put my own translations of what I think is happening in the conversation so please correct me where I'm wrong ^^ Okay so this second one is where I'm getting a bit confused And for this one I have absolutely no idea wtf is going on Okay guys, i hope you've enjoyed watching me butcher the japanese language. Now I would really love you guys if you helped me figure some of this out. Along with that can someone elaborate on the meanings of: sono koto de mittsu-kita donna koto Thanks a bunch
  11. Useful thing I learnt today: Typing out everything making me sad and conflicted really helps. It's like it doesn't even make sense to be so depressed anymore

    1. Zeldablade7#9650


      I do the same thing, except I write it in a notebook. It's like blowing the mucus out of your nose.

    2. Col.Random


      it helps so much because instead of repeating the same thought in my head over and over i can just let it out once and see that i've already typed this. I think a key step in dealing emotions is learning when to stop thinking about one thing

    3. Zeldablade7#9650
  12. He's the worst. He does it on purpose; i wouldn't put it past him to try and beat Sora to death with his staff in KH3. I think sometimes he doesn't and sometimes he does so i guess it works for people every now and then, but there's moments where he fails you at the worst possible time. People tend to exaggerate in humour so that might be why you think people genuinely believe he sucks
  13. Damn, I sure haven't been on here in a while

    1. Show previous comments  10 more
    2. Xiro


      We can bring back those days!

      (But maybe another day lol)

    3. Col.Random


      yeah another day xD

    4. Col.Random


      If we start today then well there goes my exam for tomorrow

  14. Torn between trying to go after her again or pushing myself towards moving on for good

    1. Clouded Sun
    2. Alpha Baymax

      Alpha Baymax

      Move on for good, you're just going to dig yourself a deeper hole if you go for someone who isn't into you back.

    3. Col.Random


      i guess you're right

  15. I'm not sure what to feel about adding strawberry flavouring to my coffee, it's good-ish but also not so good-ish

    1. Zola


      Might I suggest a 75/25 good-ish ratio

    2. Col.Random


      more like 60/40 goodish ratio. I must make other people try it

    3. Col.Random


      and dude omfg it's been so long

  16. It's ridiculous how long it took me to genuinely understand that a girl i like not being interested in me does not in any way mean i'll never find someone. I just need to get over this girl quick and move on to someone who IS interested ^^

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Col.Random


      yeah it is. I'm just glad i realized this quickly enough ^^

    3. Alpha Baymax

      Alpha Baymax

      As they say, better late than never!

    4. Col.Random
  17. I've been having broken sleep for nearly a month now and it's seriously messing with my ability to think and even speak normally @-@ It's supposed to be due to stress but for the life of me i can't figure out what's stressing me out

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Veemon


      But then someone else would eventually have to drop, then it would go back to you. :3


      I'm kidding. :P Seriously though, it must be a very significant thing that's giving you stress if it's even affecting your speech abilities. Would you like to talk about it? You can send me either a PM or a Private Chat, though I'm heading to school soon.

    3. Col.Random


      Thanks for the offer, but i'm not quite sure what to talk about here. So far I can't figure out what could be stressing me out because i don't really feel stressed out and am in a pretty good mood most of the time.

      Ironically the only thing that might be stressing me out would be how much i hate being tired all the time xD

    4. Veemon


      Dude, that is like me everyday! I'm tired all the time, which stresses me out every so often.

  18. Going to a psychologist and just simply getting a few things of your chest can do wonders for your mood ^^

    1. Show previous comments  7 more
    2. Alpha Baymax

      Alpha Baymax

      Give them a call to see their legitimacy. Honestly, you need someone to talk to so that your mind's at ease, bite the bullet and take the risk. Some places give free trials and you can take it from there.

    3. victorytea


      Glad youre feeling better talking to a psychologist Col.Random!


      Shard the Gentleman, have you tried 7 cups of tea? https://www.7cups.com/

      I have used it once and its free (unless they changed in the past year but a quick google told me they havent). it connects you with people who just want to listen and offer what they can. Its comforting if you just wnat to vent to someone and they helped me when i didnt have the money or time to go to a professional.


      Best of...

    4. victorytea



      Best of luck to all coping with mental health issues. I can relate and it's not an easy time.

  19. Surfing the web for cats because I won't die completely alone if I'm a crazy cat man
  20. So I have a huge problem @_@ I'm probably being completely crazy, but hey love is the kind of bullshit that drives everyone crazy. So recently I started to really like this girl....well i actually started liking her two months ago but now i've actually had more chances to talk to her and I'm closer to her friends than I was back then and to be honest I'm starting to really like this girl and I had this whole plan laid out where I would get to know her better and ask her out some time this week on my very first date. Now here's where things get shitty...a few days ago I started to suspect one of my best friends might be starting to get attracted to me, but my sister told me I was probably just misinterpreting things cause I really haven't been very good at reading women in the past. But of course I know that I'm actually quite better and reading people's emotions now so let's assume my suspicions are true. Now lately a friend of mine had gone and squealed to the friends of the girl i like and they all basically know I like and plan to ask her out now so for the past few days I have been trying to talk more to that girl and it's become quite obvious to all my friends that I really like her. Last night some friends and I went out for dinner and this best friend who likes me seemed really depressed and at one point mentioned that no guy would date her because of her looks and she went home after a while, depressed and boy did i feel like a complete moron for not being more careful about her feelings before. I was a dumbass, so openly talking about this beautiful and kind girl that I was starting to really like. Take note folks, learning to keep one's mouth shut is a valuable ability. So now we get to the complicated part. On one hand there is this beautiful girl I like who literally everyone describes as one of the genuinely kindest and most caring people you could know and well I'm a sucker for good people so naturally I'd end up being really attracted to her and I've also gotten the feeling that she might be attracted to me. If things work out my first girlfriend could be this amazing person and we might even be really happy together. On the other hand, my best friend has survived cancer twice and she still has to regularly go and get chemo and meds. In addition to that she has self-esteem issues when it comes to her looks and now the guy she may have wanted to be with is attracted to someone else. That's just way to much bullshit happening to a person at one time and now i'm trying to figure out what to do. I've arrived at three possible ways and note that they all HAVE to involve attempting to ask out the girl I like in some way because at this point too many people know I like her and are expecting me to so it would look really odd if I abruptly chickened out and be like "whoops changed my mind! Them hormones am i right?" Possibility 1: I proceed with trying to find love at the risk of breaking my best friend's heart and I really do not want to make her feel that way Possibility 2: I attempt to sabotage my first date: This has two ways: 1) I find out if there's a guy who likes the same girl as me and figure out a way to talk him into asking her out then if he does I can just be like "oh well I wasn't fast enough" 2) I go on this date and I deliberately become a really boring and awkward date and then she won't be interested in a relationship. Possibility 3: I go on my first date and I try my best to make it a good one, but at the end of it, regardless of whether she's interested in a relationship I just come clean about everything and tell her I can't be with her even if i wanted to. She's a kind person, I'm sure she'd understand. If I go with 2 and 3, then I can wait a few weeks and ask my best friend out. To be honest I don't have romantic feelings for her, but we have a ton of things in common and well attraction is something I've heard can grow. But then that also seems like a terrible idea cause women are smart and they can tell if you're not really into them. It just seems like my friend's getting hurt somehow in every scenario I've thought of So I've been thinking this over and over and I keep struggling to figure out the right solution so I decided the only thing I can do is ask people for their opinion on this. How do you guys think I should go about this
  21. We'll be reaching 40,000 members and 2,000,000 posts soon

  22. this one's kinda mushy and gross and super personal
  23. It's a really tough one but if i had to pick it would be the depths of darkness especially because of the part where you finally begin to see the light at the end. It's such a beautiful moment and it's so amazing to watch that gentle light touch down on the rocks around you while contrasting the really dark areas behind you
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