So I was just randomly going through my google docs when I saw this story I was writing a while back ago. So I wanted to share a chapter. I chose this chapter because it has the most in it. Keep in mind I was just brain storming at this point so it's no where near completion. So some of it sounds rushed. Just wondering what everyone thinks because I'm thinking about working on it again.
Nathe arrived in Somnium. It was much bigger than Incolumum but, not too much of an upgrade. He walked around until he found a large place labeled "INN". The sign looked like it was going to fall off, so he entered carefully. An older woman sat on a chair at the desk. Her head was laying on her arms. "She must be sleeping, guess I'm in the right place." Nathe chuckled at himself then blushed at how stupid his jokewas. Regaining his posture, Nathe walked up to the desk and rang the rusty little bell at the desk. The old women didn't even budge. Nathe yelled "Excuse me!" She Jumped up from her chair screaming. "What the hell Kid! Don't do that, don't ya have any manners?!" Nathe was startled. "I was only trying to.." "I know what ye were tryin ta do. Ya coulda just rang the bell!" "Man is she dull." Nathe thought. "So out with it kid. What do ya want." Nathe was starting to get frustrated with this woman, but he did his best to keep calm. "I, was hoping for a room, erh, Ma'am." The old woman stopped talking. She was studying Nathe. Nathe was getting impatient. It seemed like she was looking at him for an eternity. "Well?" Nathe said in annoyance. "Don'tcha be speakin to me in that manner kid. Now, where ya headin." Nathe jumped back. he didn't know what to think of this woman. She was so, pushy. "Iam headed for the kingdom, ma'am." "Hmm." The old woman thought out loud "Well?" He was getting very angry with her. All he wanted to do was sleep. "Now ya listen here son. Don't cha get angry with me. This is my place and I'll ask ya whatever question Idamn well please. Understand?" "Yes." Nathe mumbled through his nose. "Good. Now, what is your business in the kingdom?" Nathe was careful with his words. “I... just wanted to see the kingdom ma’am. See, I have never been anywhere outside my hometown.” The old woman was still looking at him with that curious face. Nathe realized he wasn’t going to bed anytime soon. “Mmhmm, and where is this hometown ye are from? “Incolumum.” The old woman’s eyes widened. “Is’at right? Word is the King stopped there, found himself a little wife too. A ripe one. Saw em come by here myself.” Nathe was startled, he slammed his fist onto the counter. “Which way did they go!” The old woman yelled right back. “Now, look what ya’ve done! There’s a crack in my table!” “I will tear thiswhole place apart, if you don’t tell me where they went you, you old hag!” The old woman looked up at Nathe’s face. “Th...those eyes! What evil is this?” Nathe picked up the table and threw it across the room. He walked slowly towards the woman as a black ooze started to drench his eyeballs. “Don’t try my patience any longer, ma’am” Nathe grinned. The voice was deeper than his own. The old woman didn’t know what to think. “I...I...Iya.” Nathe then felt a sharp pain in his shoulder blade. The pain started to boil and burn at his insides. Before he passed out the only thing he could hear was, “Madame Rose! Madame Rose! Are you alright?”
So I was just randomly going through my google docs when I saw this story I was writing a while back ago. So I wanted to share a chapter. I chose this chapter because it has the most in it.
Keep in mind I was just brain storming at this point so it's no where near completion. So some of it sounds rushed. Just wondering what everyone thinks because I'm thinking about working on it again.
Nathe arrived in Somnium. It was much bigger than Incolumum but, not too much of an upgrade. He walked around until he found a large place labeled "INN". The sign looked like it was going to fall off, so he entered carefully. An older woman sat on a chair at the desk. Her head was laying on her arms. "She must be sleeping, guess I'm in the right place." Nathe chuckled at himself then blushed at how stupid his jokewas. Regaining his posture, Nathe walked up to the desk and rang the rusty little bell at the desk. The old women didn't even budge. Nathe yelled "Excuse me!" She Jumped up from her chair screaming. "What the hell Kid! Don't do that, don't ya have any manners?!" Nathe was startled. "I was only trying to.." "I know what ye were tryin ta do. Ya coulda just rang the bell!" "Man is she dull." Nathe thought. "So out with it kid. What do ya want." Nathe was starting to get frustrated with this woman, but he did his best to keep calm. "I, was hoping for a room, erh, Ma'am." The old woman stopped talking. She was studying Nathe. Nathe was getting impatient. It seemed like she was looking at him for an eternity. "Well?" Nathe said in annoyance. "Don'tcha be speakin to me in that manner kid. Now, where ya headin." Nathe jumped back. he didn't know what to think of this woman. She was so, pushy. "Iam headed for the kingdom, ma'am." "Hmm." The old woman thought out loud "Well?" He was getting very angry with her. All he wanted to do was sleep. "Now ya listen here son. Don't cha get angry with me. This is my place and I'll ask ya whatever question Idamn well please. Understand?" "Yes." Nathe mumbled through his nose. "Good. Now, what is your business in the kingdom?" Nathe was careful with his words. “I... just wanted to see the kingdom ma’am. See, I have never been anywhere outside my hometown.” The old woman was still looking at him with that curious face. Nathe realized he wasn’t going to bed anytime soon. “Mmhmm, and where is this hometown ye are from? “Incolumum.” The old woman’s eyes widened. “Is’at right? Word is the King stopped there, found himself a little wife too. A ripe one. Saw em come by here myself.” Nathe was startled, he slammed his fist onto the counter. “Which way did they go!” The old woman yelled right back. “Now, look what ya’ve done! There’s a crack in my table!” “I will tear thiswhole place apart, if you don’t tell me where they went you, you old hag!” The old woman looked up at Nathe’s face. “Th...those eyes! What evil is this?” Nathe picked up the table and threw it across the room. He walked slowly towards the woman as a black ooze started to drench his eyeballs. “Don’t try my patience any longer, ma’am” Nathe grinned. The voice was deeper than his own. The old woman didn’t know what to think. “I...I...Iya.” Nathe then felt a sharp pain in his shoulder blade. The pain started to boil and burn at his insides. Before he passed out the only thing he could hear was, “Madame Rose! Madame Rose! Are you alright?”
Edited by Xaon