I was going through my old Journalism assignments and found a digital file of a number of news briefs I wrote based off of the events of various fairy tales. Thought I'd share them cuz they're actually kind of funny.
The Shepherd Boy and the Wolf
Shepherd Boy, Kosuke Aizawa, lost a sheep at the foot of Mt. Darkness, near Dark Forest at the jaws of a large deadly wolf yesterday. Aizawa, looking for company and excitement, falsely reported seeing a wolf the day before yesterday and several days before that to the citizens of Other Village.
“A liar will not be believed, even when he speaks the truth,” said Wise Man, Yamato Yamamoto.
An investigation is underway in search of this wolf that Aizawa claimed to be the size of a score of other wolves spotted along the Mountain and Forest.
The Tortoise and the Hare
The race between Usagi, the Rabbit, and Kame, the Tortoise who each wish to remain partially anonymous ended with the surprising victory on Kame’s part yesterday. The race took place along Kitsune Road around noon. Kame started right away with fierce determination whilst Usagi laid down to take a nap and rush past him later. This ended poorly for Usagi.
“Many people have good natural abilities which are ruined by idleness,” said Auru Fukuro, the Owl waiting at the Finish Line to congratulate the winner; “on the other hand, sobriety, zeal, and perseverance can prevail over indolence,”
Three Little Pigs
Three murders occurred yesterday in the city of Sanka. Kiba Okami, who had previously been convicted of stealing a sheep from a young boy named Kosuke Aizawa at the foot of Mt. Darkness, destroyed the houses of Ichi Buta and Ni Buta and killed and ate them both.
Unable to destroy the house of San Buta, Okami tried to break in through the chimney. Buta set a trap in his fire pit so when Okami made it down, he fell into Buta’s pot of boiling water.
Buta is scheduled to go on trial three days from now for the burning, drowning, eating and overall murder of Kiba Okami.
The Three Bears
Goldilocks Peterson, a citizen of Certain Village, is scheduled to go to trial tomorrow for charges with breaking and entering, and vandalism of the home and property of Great Huge Bear, Middle-sized Bear and Little Small Wee Bear in a remote area of Dark Forest yesterday morning.
When the Bears left for their breakfast to cool, Goldilocks unwittingly entered through the unlocked door and ate from the porridge from Great Huge and Middle-sized Bear and all of Little Small Wee Bear’s; sat in Great Huge and Middle-sized Bear’s chairs, and damaged the bottom of Little Small Wee Bear’s chair; and fell asleep in Little Small Wee Bear’s bed.
Peterson quickly awoke and made a hasty escape from the home after being awakened by Little Small Wee Bear’s shrill voice. Great Huge Bear contacted authorities several minutes after Peterson’s escape.
Red Riding Hood
Upon further investigation, yesterday it was discovered that the nefarious and late Kiba Okami has also murdered Old Lady Red and her granddaughter known as Little Red Riding Hood several weeks ago. Hood’s mother, Caroline Hood, entrusted her with a cake and a little pot of butter to deliver who her ill grandmother.
Okami confronted Hood in an area of Dark Forest between Certain Village (Hood’s home) and Other Village and questioned her about the cake and the whereabouts of Lady Red. Hood, unsuspicious of Okami and that fact that he was a wanted wolf, gave him the information he wanted.
Once Hood had arrived at Lady Red’s house, she entered and was soon eaten by Okami who had eaten Lady Red and disguised himself as her to lure Hood toward him. “Children, especially attractive, well bred young ladies, should never talk to strangers, for if they should do so, they may well provide dinner for a wolf,” said Wise Man Yamato Yamamoto of Other Village.
I was going through my old Journalism assignments and found a digital file of a number of news briefs I wrote based off of the events of various fairy tales. Thought I'd share them cuz they're actually kind of funny.
The Shepherd Boy and the Wolf
Shepherd Boy, Kosuke Aizawa, lost a sheep at the foot of Mt. Darkness, near Dark Forest at the jaws of a large deadly wolf yesterday. Aizawa, looking for company and excitement, falsely reported seeing a wolf the day before yesterday and several days before that to the citizens of Other Village.
“A liar will not be believed, even when he speaks the truth,” said Wise Man, Yamato Yamamoto.
An investigation is underway in search of this wolf that Aizawa claimed to be the size of a score of other wolves spotted along the Mountain and Forest.
The Tortoise and the Hare
The race between Usagi, the Rabbit, and Kame, the Tortoise who each wish to remain partially anonymous ended with the surprising victory on Kame’s part yesterday. The race took place along Kitsune Road around noon. Kame started right away with fierce determination whilst Usagi laid down to take a nap and rush past him later. This ended poorly for Usagi.
“Many people have good natural abilities which are ruined by idleness,” said Auru Fukuro, the Owl waiting at the Finish Line to congratulate the winner; “on the other hand, sobriety, zeal, and perseverance can prevail over indolence,”
Three Little Pigs
Three murders occurred yesterday in the city of Sanka. Kiba Okami, who had previously been convicted of stealing a sheep from a young boy named Kosuke Aizawa at the foot of Mt. Darkness, destroyed the houses of Ichi Buta and Ni Buta and killed and ate them both.
Unable to destroy the house of San Buta, Okami tried to break in through the chimney. Buta set a trap in his fire pit so when Okami made it down, he fell into Buta’s pot of boiling water.
Buta is scheduled to go on trial three days from now for the burning, drowning, eating and overall murder of Kiba Okami.
The Three Bears
Goldilocks Peterson, a citizen of Certain Village, is scheduled to go to trial tomorrow for charges with breaking and entering, and vandalism of the home and property of Great Huge Bear, Middle-sized Bear and Little Small Wee Bear in a remote area of Dark Forest yesterday morning.
When the Bears left for their breakfast to cool, Goldilocks unwittingly entered through the unlocked door and ate from the porridge from Great Huge and Middle-sized Bear and all of Little Small Wee Bear’s; sat in Great Huge and Middle-sized Bear’s chairs, and damaged the bottom of Little Small Wee Bear’s chair; and fell asleep in Little Small Wee Bear’s bed.
Peterson quickly awoke and made a hasty escape from the home after being awakened by Little Small Wee Bear’s shrill voice. Great Huge Bear contacted authorities several minutes after Peterson’s escape.
Red Riding Hood
Upon further investigation, yesterday it was discovered that the nefarious and late Kiba Okami has also murdered Old Lady Red and her granddaughter known as Little Red Riding Hood several weeks ago. Hood’s mother, Caroline Hood, entrusted her with a cake and a little pot of butter to deliver who her ill grandmother.
Okami confronted Hood in an area of Dark Forest between Certain Village (Hood’s home) and Other Village and questioned her about the cake and the whereabouts of Lady Red. Hood, unsuspicious of Okami and that fact that he was a wanted wolf, gave him the information he wanted.
Once Hood had arrived at Lady Red’s house, she entered and was soon eaten by Okami who had eaten Lady Red and disguised himself as her to lure Hood toward him. “Children, especially attractive, well bred young ladies, should never talk to strangers, for if they should do so, they may well provide dinner for a wolf,” said Wise Man Yamato Yamamoto of Other Village.