Hello, Its me, Eternal Reckoning and I want to share my experience with you. How i fought so hard to be me against odds that far outstretched the pros and about how preserving your true self is more important than any amount of status or popularity.
Since day 1 of school my life hasn't been what you would call "easy". You see I've always been a little bit different, back then i didnt realy get along with the other kids, i didnt even have the confidence to try. I remember being lonely and afraid, with no one to talk to besides my parents but being as young as i was that wouldn't occur to me. Everyday when i went to school I was met by change and hardship, I used to spend my days alone hiding in the corner of the classroom while the other kids played, in my own little world and definetly more settled but not completely content that way. but the classroom wasnt the worst of my problems so to say.
My problems mainly resided out on yard where the teachers could only do so much to maintain my comfort, the noise impacted on my ears like a cacophany of drums within the breath of my ear, the rougher students would chastise and bully me for acting "wierd" and wondering around on my own, often some particular students through rocks at me, another group of 3 students would grab me and punch my stomach and leave me there all alone again when they were done with me. This was made worse by my overactive immagination, it seems to kick in when i'm stressed out or in a situation where i feel suffocated, generally making everything seem worse that it really is.
this cycle more or less proceded through the majority of my experience in year one of school everyday, it was a living hell. People have always given me a hard time.
Luckily the following year i had the same teacher which made things easier but the change of enviornment was enough to make me hide under my table for the first few days. but i couldnt possibly explain how much this teacher has helped me grow as a person thanks to the things she did to help me. She went against my wishes and maybe thats just what i needed. This year was a major turning point, my teacher introduced me to my first friends because she thought it wasnt healthy for me to hang out on my own everyday, while i didnt like this at the time, these to friends stuck with me and probably have had more of an effect on me than i can feel. I warmed up to these new friends slowly but was always to shy to do anything more than follow them around and add to their play every so often.
Unfortunately though the bullying proceded through this year too, the same people were still chastising me but now it seemed that even more people had turned against me, i felt paranoid and alone despite the friends i had but to an extent they always helped me to get back onto my feet, finally i wasnt alone...
The following few years of my life were tough, moving into a curriculum with harsher work, no room for discomfort or as my teacher may have seen it "messing" it was time i did something about this because my problem was now becoming the classes problem, and being an outcast and freaking out in every class was not acceptable anymore, luckily i had mostly good teachers and they made things easier, but the main problem this time was my class, being with the same class for so long and with everyone starting to grow up more the areas where i was different started to become more apparent to them. Mockery and a bombardment of my personality was just the begining of the hell i was going to experience.
Yard everyday became torture, being mixed with the bigger kids meant that the number of people who could bully me had only escalated, often the people would assault me and often commit acts of physical violence, like punching me and pushing me to the ground began to arise, it was a horrible experience, it felt at times like everyone was out to get me, and like always i would have been happy if i could have been inside of my own little world however in-sustainable.
The girls in the class used to call me "wierd" and "smelly" and the frequency at which this escalated accross classes and students led to me having regular breakdowns as a result, I was horribly upset and wished i could just set the world aside and go off on my own path in peace, listening to the piercing and vile whispers as they bombarded my ears with negativity and my soul with sadness.
My parents organised a resource hours thing to help me get on better with my peers and understand social situations and how to deal with them if they happen, after seeing the pain i was going through. The group helped me emensely, the teacher used to teach me about simple things like emotions and reactions to highlight social situations for me, she even used to take random class mates out of class so i could play games with them and get to know them better, this helped me get used to meeting new people and dealing with the world as it through things at me, without this my life would be so much harder even now i probably wouldnt be able to tell you this or even be part of a social site like this.
For my last 2 years of kid school our classes were split up, thankfully enough this time i hit it lucky, i really couldnt have gotten a better class. everyone was supportive, friendly, amazing and helpful, not to mention i met two friends who i consider to be my best friends even now. these two years flew by and my group hours continued as normal. All this time i was being myself, and the beautiful thing is people were accepting me for being nothing but myself all the time. It was because of this my confidence grew so much in those two years of my life, and also that they flew by so fast.
My transition into secondary school was intense though, it was like jumping from a frying pan and into a fire, i thought i was finally over the rough patch but things just got worse. Not only were my hormones high and affected but people began picking on me for my hair (my beloved fro) and "strange" traits i have always had (but doesnt everyone have at least a few?....) not to mention my name (not mentioning for security reasons). everyday i would come into school and everyone i walked past had something to say about me, saying my name jeerily or wrong completely on purpose, shouting at me, throwing stuff at me, making fon of my appearance and traits... I was so frustrated and damaged i actually started shouting at anyone who annoyed me, so much that every evening my throat burned and stung. people laughed at me and made fun of me and it seemed i wasnt safe anywhere anymore, even with my friends, it just seemed i was the reason they were now getting bullied (and they stuck with me anyway, amazing friends, without them i am nothing) . i would swing my bag and hide as people tried to take pictures of me and surround me to chastise me.
thankfully once again talking to my parents and private teachers really helped and i learned how to react to these situations. i stopped shouting and screaming, i stopped reacting badly to those jerks who started everything, and you know what? people started seeing me for who i am, a good person with an attractive personality and good nature, also not to mention a fro lol. it didnt happen imediately but now the people who bullied me cant look me in the eye, i'm referred to as one of the coolest people in my year and i've become extremely popular as the years have gone on, of course there are still those who bully me, but i turn around to them and treat them like i treat everyone else, not going down to their level or shouting.
So the moral in this story is always be yourself, and never lose sight of who you are because once youve lost yourself or given into despair it is sooo hard to find yourself again. Take everything on the nose and just be who you want to be!
Hello, Its me, Eternal Reckoning and I want to share my experience with you. How i fought so hard to be me against odds that far outstretched the pros and about how preserving your true self is more important than any amount of status or popularity.
Since day 1 of school my life hasn't been what you would call "easy". You see I've always been a little bit different, back then i didnt realy get along with the other kids, i didnt even have the confidence to try. I remember being lonely and afraid, with no one to talk to besides my parents but being as young as i was that wouldn't occur to me. Everyday when i went to school I was met by change and hardship, I used to spend my days alone hiding in the corner of the classroom while the other kids played, in my own little world and definetly more settled but not completely content that way. but the classroom wasnt the worst of my problems so to say.
My problems mainly resided out on yard where the teachers could only do so much to maintain my comfort, the noise impacted on my ears like a cacophany of drums within the breath of my ear, the rougher students would chastise and bully me for acting "wierd" and wondering around on my own, often some particular students through rocks at me, another group of 3 students would grab me and punch my stomach and leave me there all alone again when they were done with me. This was made worse by my overactive immagination, it seems to kick in when i'm stressed out or in a situation where i feel suffocated, generally making everything seem worse that it really is.
this cycle more or less proceded through the majority of my experience in year one of school everyday, it was a living hell. People have always given me a hard time.
Luckily the following year i had the same teacher which made things easier but the change of enviornment was enough to make me hide under my table for the first few days. but i couldnt possibly explain how much this teacher has helped me grow as a person thanks to the things she did to help me. She went against my wishes and maybe thats just what i needed. This year was a major turning point, my teacher introduced me to my first friends because she thought it wasnt healthy for me to hang out on my own everyday, while i didnt like this at the time, these to friends stuck with me and probably have had more of an effect on me than i can feel. I warmed up to these new friends slowly but was always to shy to do anything more than follow them around and add to their play every so often.
Unfortunately though the bullying proceded through this year too, the same people were still chastising me but now it seemed that even more people had turned against me, i felt paranoid and alone despite the friends i had but to an extent they always helped me to get back onto my feet, finally i wasnt alone...
The following few years of my life were tough, moving into a curriculum with harsher work, no room for discomfort or as my teacher may have seen it "messing" it was time i did something about this because my problem was now becoming the classes problem, and being an outcast and freaking out in every class was not acceptable anymore, luckily i had mostly good teachers and they made things easier, but the main problem this time was my class, being with the same class for so long and with everyone starting to grow up more the areas where i was different started to become more apparent to them. Mockery and a bombardment of my personality was just the begining of the hell i was going to experience.
Yard everyday became torture, being mixed with the bigger kids meant that the number of people who could bully me had only escalated, often the people would assault me and often commit acts of physical violence, like punching me and pushing me to the ground began to arise, it was a horrible experience, it felt at times like everyone was out to get me, and like always i would have been happy if i could have been inside of my own little world however in-sustainable.
The girls in the class used to call me "wierd" and "smelly" and the frequency at which this escalated accross classes and students led to me having regular breakdowns as a result, I was horribly upset and wished i could just set the world aside and go off on my own path in peace, listening to the piercing and vile whispers as they bombarded my ears with negativity and my soul with sadness.
My parents organised a resource hours thing to help me get on better with my peers and understand social situations and how to deal with them if they happen, after seeing the pain i was going through. The group helped me emensely, the teacher used to teach me about simple things like emotions and reactions to highlight social situations for me, she even used to take random class mates out of class so i could play games with them and get to know them better, this helped me get used to meeting new people and dealing with the world as it through things at me, without this my life would be so much harder even now i probably wouldnt be able to tell you this or even be part of a social site like this.
For my last 2 years of kid school our classes were split up, thankfully enough this time i hit it lucky, i really couldnt have gotten a better class. everyone was supportive, friendly, amazing and helpful, not to mention i met two friends who i consider to be my best friends even now. these two years flew by and my group hours continued as normal. All this time i was being myself, and the beautiful thing is people were accepting me for being nothing but myself all the time. It was because of this my confidence grew so much in those two years of my life, and also that they flew by so fast.
My transition into secondary school was intense though, it was like jumping from a frying pan and into a fire, i thought i was finally over the rough patch but things just got worse. Not only were my hormones high and affected but people began picking on me for my hair (my beloved fro) and "strange" traits i have always had (but doesnt everyone have at least a few?....) not to mention my name (not mentioning for security reasons). everyday i would come into school and everyone i walked past had something to say about me, saying my name jeerily or wrong completely on purpose, shouting at me, throwing stuff at me, making fon of my appearance and traits... I was so frustrated and damaged i actually started shouting at anyone who annoyed me, so much that every evening my throat burned and stung. people laughed at me and made fun of me and it seemed i wasnt safe anywhere anymore, even with my friends, it just seemed i was the reason they were now getting bullied (and they stuck with me anyway, amazing friends, without them i am nothing) . i would swing my bag and hide as people tried to take pictures of me and surround me to chastise me.
thankfully once again talking to my parents and private teachers really helped and i learned how to react to these situations. i stopped shouting and screaming, i stopped reacting badly to those jerks who started everything, and you know what? people started seeing me for who i am, a good person with an attractive personality and good nature, also not to mention a fro lol. it didnt happen imediately but now the people who bullied me cant look me in the eye, i'm referred to as one of the coolest people in my year and i've become extremely popular as the years have gone on, of course there are still those who bully me, but i turn around to them and treat them like i treat everyone else, not going down to their level or shouting.
So the moral in this story is always be yourself, and never lose sight of who you are because once youve lost yourself or given into despair it is sooo hard to find yourself again. Take everything on the nose and just be who you want to be!
heres a picture of me btw..