chatper 1 the meeting

i went to the graveyard. i knew he was here i could feel him. i enter the graveyard. i went to my moms grave. i went there everyday. today was differnt he was behind me. '' arm transform " i yelled. boom! ''good evening mr.earl'' i said.'' you" said the earl. ''thts right its me seth walker" i said. the earl rush toward me, but i knock him back. when he got up he made dark energy balls. he fired one of them. i dodge the best i could. he fired the other one. it hit badly! i got up and when i look down a sword was in me. the earl pulled the sword ready for another swing. i blocked with my arm the best i could. slice! half of my arm was cut off. ''ahhhhhhh" i scream. the earl back up and powerd up a dark ball. he rush at me, i thought i was going to die. '' boom"

If I can be of help, you should try to improve your grammar and try to use capitals when it's necessary, I know some people liked your simplicity but more information and description would help the readers understand more of the plot and the characters actions and thoughts. The idea of the story is good but if you could make longer chapters that had more than 2 paragraphs it would be better and we'd have more pleasure while reading. And another thing about grammar, try to take a look at pintuation because I have a feeling some things aren't exactly right there. No one here is a master of English, but trying to make your best won't hurt. Continue with the good job and see if you consider those opnions I gave to make your story even better.

Well, like Gizelita said, I have to point it out again. Spelling and grammer makes it easier for people to read your posts, and it makes it more entertaining if you can actually understand what on earth you're reading. whtwas easir to red for u? That or this?

- I don't know d.gray man-.- -

I agree with everybody who said that you should watch your grammar, so we could understand the plot more. Writing a text isn't like chatting, that's it requires rules of grammar - they make the text clearer-. You could also try to make longer chapters, adding dialougues, descriptions of the characters and sets, explanations and description of feelings.