Chapter1.

I was in the middle of my training when a person called me on my cell phone i answered it said "Im sorry for calling unexpectedly, but do you go by the name of Sight?" "Yes and whom may i ask is calling?" Sight asked. "This is Jane im the head director of the detective industries and i am working on a case right now and we think you may be one of the suspects." Jane said. (My heart started race faster and faster by every beat i couldnt believe it what did she know about me that i didnt know? All i wanted to do right now was figure out what case she was talking.) "Excuse me Jane but what case do you think im involved with?" Sight asked. "Well if you come down to facility i cant tell you all about it Sight you can come or not its your descion so which is it Sight?" Jane said. (Wow Jane had me more scared then i have ever been there was only one thing to do, go find out what this case is all about) "Hey Jane when can i go down to the facility?" sight asked. "You can come tomorrow" jane said. I hung up the phone and was thinking what would happen tomorrow?[/font]

good chapter write more please

i dont really understand whats going on, you need more description. x: i cant come up with a visual image at all of these characters.

also, when you're writing, you must capatalize the beginning of sentences & of names.

i'd also reccomend turning the one big paragraph into smaller paragraphs to make it easier to read.

good luck with your story. (:

this is a good story (: plz write more

Thanks every body 4 ur support