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Posted

This is a new story i've thought of - i'm going along with it as it goes.It's basically about an un-named mercenary and his work with a mysterious organization - read throughout the story to find out more about the plot.Feel free to give your opinions,since im new to writing.Enjoy!

-Chapter 1:The messenger's challenge-

 

The mercenary was at Norlis village,in the inn's bar.He was drinking a bottle of moonshine,and was enjoying himself.He wore a black robe and black cape,which hid the heavy armor he was wearing under it.He had short black hair,which was neck-length down,and was smooth and spikey.He had 2 giant swords that looked like dragon jaws,which had glowing orange runes on them.He looked behind him,and saw the doors barge open.Some looked to see who it was,others simply ignored it and continued to drink.The man walked up to the mercenary.The mercenary looked to his right at the man,and then realized who the man was.It was Artius Morshen,the local mage of the village.Artius was panting,and took a drink of the mercenary's moonshine."What is it,Artius?",the mercenary asked.Artius stood up,and looked at the mercenary with some sweat on his forehead."Ther'es a man outside who wishes to see you",Artius said.He then took the moonshine and drank it all.The mercenary rolled his eyes,and gave the bartender 15 gold coins.

 

The mercenary then walked out the door,and sniffed up the fog's air.He then opened the village gates,and looked 20 feet out in him.In front of the village was a house,which was the hut of the village elders.In front of the hut was a man in heavy black-armor,who was wearing a black cloak and black hood.The man was roasting a boar on the fire,while sittin on a stump which served as a chair.The man stood up as the mercenary approached him.

(I'm going to use this sort of way when people are talking)

Mercenary:Who are you?

Messenger:I am a messenger for your employer,who contacted you last week in the blood-sealed letter.

Mercenary:Methinks that was not human blood?

Messenger:Aye - it was blood of a bear.

Mercenary:Ahh,bear blood.-chuckles at his own ignorance-

Messenger:You know the Gorm's cave northeast of here,right?

Mercenary:Aye,that I do - why?

Messenger:There is a gorm in there that we need killed.

Mercenary:If the gorm is of such a burden,why not kill it yourself?

Messenger:I told you,i am only a messenger - and it is a test of your strength - my master wishes for you to kill it.

Mercenary:Alrighty then,i shall go rid of the Gorm now.

Messenger:Very well - I will await your return.

 

The mercenary then headed northeast.He approached a big,back cave entrance,which led deep into the hill.The mercenary then slowly walked into the cave,and murmured a Elven enchantment,which lit his swords on fire.He then continued to walk through the cave.He heard a creek behind him,and quickly went into a blocking stance with his swords.A giant club then slammed down on the sword.The flames of the swords revealed the Gorm's hideous face.It had 3 eyes,pale green skin,and 2 ivory horns.It roared in anger and continued to slam on the mercenary's swords for 2 minutes.

 

The mercenary then ran to the left wall,and watched as the gorm chased it.The mercenary then did a backflip off the wall,and landed perfectly behind the grom.He then thrusted his sword into the back of the gorm,and then drew it out of the back.The gorm slowly got up,and quickly spun around and reeled a punch into the face of the mercenary,knocking him back.The mercenary got up with a groan,and snapped his nose back into place.The gorm quickly ran to the mercenary,but fell.The mercenary walked out of the cave,and left the gorm to bleed to death.

 

The mercenary walked out the cave,and saw a familiar figure.The messenger was standing 10 feet away from the mercenary,clapping at the mercenary's performance."Well done,mercenary - you're ready for you're task",the messenger said.

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that was good :P plz make more kupo :D

  • Author

Alright thanks - and be free to give your opinions and criticism,guys. ^_^

 

-Chapter 2:The Deal-

 

The mercenary looked at the messenger with a confused look.He looked back into the cave,and looked at the messenger with a unsatisfied look.

Mercenary:You want me to do what??

Messanger:You're going to go back in the cave.

Mercenary:But i was just in the cave!

Messanger:Exactly.

Mercenary:Methinks you do not make sense?

Messanger:My master is in the cave.

Mercenary:What?!But I was just in the cave!How could he get in there without me noticing?

Messanger:Do you wish to question about my master,or do you wish to go on with your deal?

Mercenary:-with an unsatisfied grin- I'll talk to him now.

Messanger:Alright.Now begone!

 

The mercenary entered the cave.When he entered,there was a dim light,which revealed the cave.The mercenary saw a man,who looked like the messengar,except the guildings on his armor were red,whilst the messenger's guildings were dark green.The mercenary walked up to the man,slowly with his swords drawn in a defensive stance.

 

Mercenary:Are you my employer?

??????:Aye,that i am - are you ready for your task?

Mercenary:Pray tell me,what is my assignment?

??????:We need someone...-clears throat-...taken care of.

Mercenary:You want me to kill someone?

??????:Aye - you know of the mountain outpost to the north east?

Mercenary:Aye,that I do - why?

??????:I need you to kill someone there.His name is Eris Khrelson.

Mercenary:Why do you require him dead?

??????:He has something that we require.Either ask him for it,or kill him and retreive it.

Mercenary:Methinks I cannot just bribe him out of the item?

??????:Don't waste your money - he is a theiving worm - no more,no less.You have your assignment.Now go.

Mercenary:As you wish.

 

The mercenary exited the cave,and saw the messenger was preparing a black horse for the mercenary.The mercenary looked at the messanger.The messanger stepped away from the horse,and sat back on the bench,and continued to east his pork.The mercenary got on the horse's saddle,and rode it off into the fog,northeast to his destination.

You say you are a beginner at wrting, but I really like your writing, r-e-a-l-l-y. The plot seems fantastic. Please keep writing. :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

this looks good plz make more kupo :P

  • Author

Thanks - i'll be posting Chapter 3 soon.

This is wonderfull. Keep up at it and it'll get even better. :D See how you shouldn't worry that much?

  • Author

-Chapter 3:A lie and a village-

The mercenary entered the gates of the mountain outpost.The snow was everywhere,and covered up many of the buildings and stalls.The mercenary slowly rode into town on his horse.He got off of his horse,and walked up to the man,who was the Town Cryer.The mercenary and Town Crier exchanged a greeting,before the Mercenary asked:

Mercenary:Where is Eris Khrelson?

Town Crier:There is no Eris Khrelson here.Methinks you were misinformed.

Mercenary:Are you sure there is no Eris here?

Town Crier:Aye - I have all the names of the citizens here - there is no Eris Khrelson.

Mercenary:Then why would they..

Town Crier:Who?

 

All of a sudden,a man ran into town,barging through merchants,citizens,and guards.He approached the town crier,while panting and getting in air.A crowd of citizens,guards,and merchants surrounded the man,wondering what was happening."What is wrong,sir?",the town crier asked."Icehill village..-pant-destroyed....-pant-snow orcs....help..",the man said.The man then turned around,and revealed a big,recently done slash of blood on his back.The man then passed out from running and blood loss."Give him some room!",the town crier shouted.Two guards ran up to the man,and carried hm to the local healer."I better tell this to my employer...",the mercenary muttured.The mercenary quickly ran and got on his horse.He then rode down the path,into the snowy fog,to deliver the message to the employer.

The story keeps being so cool. :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

  • Author

Chapter 4 is up

 

-Chapter 4:The broken deal-

 

The mercenary slowly entered the cave,and looked around.All of a sudden,there was a flash of a melody,and the employer appeared in front of the mercenary."Boo.",the employer said.The mercenary jumped back,with a girly,loud scream.

 

Employer:I thought you would be tougher.

Mercenary:I thought you wouldnt be so sneeky.

Employer:Is the deed done?

Mercenary:No - there was no Eris Khrelson there.

Employer:Hmm..he's usually sneaky..

Mercenary:Also..

Employer:Hmm?

Mercenary:Icehill village was destroyed by snow orcs.

Employer:Is that so..?

Mercenary:Yes.I am sorry to say that happened

~The Employer has a hollow laugh throughout the cave~

Mercenary:What is it?

Employer:I sent the orcs,you idiot!

Mercenary:What?!?!

Employer:I sent the orcs to destroy the village - anyways,about your next deed..

Mercenary:No way!

Employer:What?!?!?

Mercenary:I'm not helping you destroy the world!

Employer:It's not what you think.

Mercenary:The deal's off!You'll be lucky if i dont report you to the officers!

Employer:That's if theres any guards to tell to..

Mercenary:Good day,sir!

 

The mercenary ran out of the cave,and got on the horse.He knocked the messanger down,and quickly rode to the nearest city:Normakin.Normakin was the only human city in the north,and was where all the northern attentions to brought to.Arius Kordin,the leader of the northern city,took all attentions seriously,even the small ones.

 

The mercenary quickly approahced the iron chain gate,which was held by its giant stone walls.Two guards let the mercenary in,as he rode slowly into the city's main hall.

I like it ^^

Keep on writing. Though, just to make it easier for those reading, and for it to be "proper", when you're writing a sentance, you should space between periods, commas, ect. For instance:

He knocked the messanger down,and quickly rode to the nearest city:Normakin.Normakin was the only human city in the north,and was where all the northern attentions to brought to.

It should be: He knocked the messenger down, and quickly rode to the nearest city: Normakin. (It should be a new paragraph after that.

Normakin was the only human city in the north, and was where all of the northern attentions were brought to.

 

Sorry for being so nit-picky xD Otherwise, it was very good ^^

  • Author

Like i said at the beginning:Opinions and ctiticism is wanted.And i can understand what your saying - and i agree - i should of made it more proper. xD

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