this is one of my many poems so...tell me what you think it is my first time posting one of my poems.

 

as i lie on the grass on the night sky looking at the stars and them looking down at me, but not as a small speck, but an invividual. hoping to aspire though fate and destiny, but no great being can ever control it or me. strange itsnt it? something so simple and vast can last forever looking down at humanity through faith and sin, but i have lost all faith and done worse than 'sin'. my final jugement is due. every end of day it comes closer and closer but the chains on my soul tighten but my heart is still free, free from modern society's niche, free from mediocrity, free from the everyday facade that life forces us to a certain role upon this stage. as the devil laughs while the very essance of my soul is beatened and burned. with my last breath that sustains me, i rise through the firey inferno reborn again, free i have paid my debt to redemption....but its only a matter of time before another payment is due once more.

Meh, it's more like a short chapter than a poem. I recommend capitalizing and also using the enter button will be helpful

Meh, it's more like a short chapter than a poem. I recommend capitalizing and also using the enter button will be helpful

 

actually your wrong it is a poem, it is a poem:

 

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Meh' date=' it's more like a short chapter than a poem. I recommend capitalizing and also using the enter button will be helpful

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actually your wrong it is a poem, it is a poem:

 

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What RoxSox and Heartless said.

 

If you'd really like some crit..

 

* It seems like you're just using certain words to make yourself sound smarter or cooler or something. ._. I can think of other things that would have fit much better.

 

* Capatalize at the beginning of a sentance, and words like "I".

 

* Also, use your apostrophes. For instance, the word "isn't" has an apostrophe because "isn't" is not just one word. It is a contraction--two words shortened into one. "Isn't" is a shorter way of typing "is not", and is technically incorrect if you can't remember to use your apostrophes.

 

* Poems aren't just a big jumble of words as you have written this one. It would be easier for you to understand if I give you links instead of an explanation. Look at the format of these poems:

Where the Sidewalk Ends--Shel Silverstein

Still I Rise--Maya Angelou

There Is Another Sky--Emily Dickison

 

I could add more, but I'll stop there for now.

Just try to improve a bit, 'kay? ;3

I think its better explained as a report of some sort, rather than a poem. Of course for me the spelling and grammar is a bit of a hassle, but I can manage. I actually like how this is put together and have wanted to do something like this. I sadly don't know what its actually called.

It could be a poem I suppose, but it would be seen better as one if it had some sort of unique form... I'm no expert though.

 

It would be nice if you actually wanted some crit to do some work on the spelling and stuff.