Posted October 6, 201015 yr What did you Hope? Money.... Love.....A goal....Maybe even a miracle.....Or a dream.....It's funny hope is but a dream.....and everyone is wishing to.....Sleep peacefully in our dream land. Please tell me what you think?
October 6, 201015 yr It's sort of like a statement isn't it? Well I think it's a nice motto for hope. If you want to turn it into a peom I think you should make it longer. Great job!
October 6, 201015 yr @Zexion's Lover 46 Length doesn't determine that kind of thing =/ I'd say you could work on formatting and it seems like you kinda blew this out in a few seconds. Like you didn't care. =/
October 6, 201015 yr I'm just saying that if a poem is very short like that is sounds like a motto is all. But he posted it up here and, even though it could use work, I still think it sounds nice.
October 6, 201015 yr It's alright, but could use a little work. For one thing, if you're going to write a serious poem/story at least use proper capitalization. Also, try not putting it all in one line. Space things out a bit more. The length is fine (poems don't have to be long) but you might want to clarify it more. You kinda skipped from one thing to another, and it really ruins the flow of the whole thing.
October 7, 201015 yr Author It's alright, but could use a little work. For one thing, if you're going to write a serious poem/story at least use proper capitalization. Also, try not putting it all in one line. Space things out a bit more. The length is fine (poems don't have to be long) but you might want to clarify it more. You kinda skipped from one thing to another, and it really ruins the flow of the whole thing. Ok I got it
October 7, 201015 yr The new format is... better, but it still looks off. =/ More like you're taking notes or something--this is not a really a poetic format.
October 7, 201015 yr I think the note-style format is kinda cool looking~ owo Though the first line sort of annoys me (did you mean "What did you Hope for"? /grammarnazi)
October 7, 201015 yr Author I think the note-style format is kinda cool looking~ owo Though the first line sort of annoys me (did you mean "What did you Hope for"? /grammarnazi) sorry forgot it, it's up now.
What did you Hope?
- and everyone is wishing to.....
Sleep peacefully in our dream land.Please tell me what you think?