INTRO

 

My name is Lunax,and this is my tale...

 

I walked through the rain that fell on me.I had my blade at hand and my hood of my hoddie covering my head.I would just keep my eyes on the floor,not bothering to look foward.Cause I wouldn't care who or what was upfront.I would not speak,I would only think.

 

The tale of how I came to be...

 

I looked at the sky and let the rain toutch my skin.It felt nice to have it wash off my mistakes,even though it wouldn't work completetly.I got to the place and I steared at the door.I opened it and looked inside,only to find it as I left it.

 

The tale of how my memories became nightmares...how my friends became enemies...

 

I went upstairs and found my old room.It was white and pure,unlike me,who was tainted by sins.I sat on my bed,that was intact,and it still had his scent.I looked at the cieling,to see painted stars.I looked at the counter,to see his picture.He and I were happy as Nobodies...until my memories came back...

 

And how my life took a twist...and it became an untold story...

 

This is the story...of the

Shooting Star of the Twilight.

real nice i cant wait for the frist chapter

1) After you finish a sentance, you space between the period. The same goes for commas; you're not using your space bar.

 

2) Sometimes the way you word things is just.. idk, off.

 

Besides that, though, I really like it. (:

Keep writing, Stardust.

First Chapter:

The Exam.

 

At first,I couldn't remember a thing about me. My name, or from where I came from. I was just standing there, when a man named Siax came and took me to my new home. The Organization. Whenever I asked him who I was and where did I came from, he'd always say the same thing. That I came falling down from the sky like a shooting star in the middle of the sunset. And from there, my destiny was chosen for me. The Shooting Star of the Twilight. I wore their coat, I did their missions, I had my number, but none of them considered me as a true member...only he did...

 

 

 

I was asleep when someone knocked at my door. I took my pillow and putted it over my head. "Go away..." I said. "LUNAX!!!Get up!You're gonna be late!" A voice says. I try to ignore it and go back to sleep. But then s portal appeared in my room and he took the covers off my face. That he, was Roxas. "Lunax!Get up!"Roxas says. I just try to go back to sleep. Roxas sighs. "Do you even know what day today is?" Roxas asks. I try to remember as I try to fall asleep, then a thought comes to mind. My eyes open and I shot up sitting. "THE EXAM!!"I yelled as I got on my feet. "Yeah!Xemnas is going to kill you if you don't get there early!"Roxa says. "I know!I know!I totally forgot about it!" I say as I get my hair brushed. Roxas sighs. "Come on!" Roxas says. We both end up teleporting in the Hall of Empty Memories.

 

There all of the memebers where standing and watching. "Lunax. I see you came."Xemnas says. I nod and see that Roxas was besides Axel and looking down at me. "Now,let the exam begin. Let us see that accepting you wasn't a mistake after all."Xemnas says as 6 Orcas and 6 Darksiders appear. I look at Roxas. He just steared. I looked at my enemies, the heartless, and took out my blade, 'Shooting Comet'. It wasn't a keyblade, witch made me more worthless to them. "Begin!"Xemnas says.

 

The heartless attack me. I dodged the attacks and tried to land a hot on one of them, but they were out of reach. One of them punched towards me. I dodged-rolled it and I started to run up its arm. I got to land a hit on its head. It didn't do much effect, but it did something. I jumped back and then tried to land a hit on one of the Darksiders. I dodged it's attacks the best I could, but I got hit by one of them. I crashed against the wall.

 

They started to surround me. I got covered by aura and looked up at them. My eyes were no longer brown. But saphire blue. The aura let me raise up and float in the air. I took my blade at hand. "LIMIT BREAK!!!" I yelled. I started to attack them, using my flying ability as a advantedge. I got to kill 5 of them. But now the Limit Break was over, and I fell back down. I could bearly move and I tried to catch my breath. I dodged an attack, but just bearly. "(I forgot...how much the Limit Break...teakes power from me...)"I think.

 

One of the Orcas took out his blade like weapon and attacked me, hitting me and sending me down. Roxas was looking from above. He looked at Axel. "Axel?"Roxas asks. Axel didn't looked ta him or spoke. Roxas looked back. I was out of streanght or energy. I had to desummon my blade, since it was too much for me to carry any longer. The Orcas and Darksiders crept in. Roxas looked at Xemnas. "Master Xemnas!Please!She can't take it any longer!"Roxas says. Xemnas dosn't look at him.

 

I looked up to see the heartless. I think for a second. "(I need to use it.)"I think. I struggle to get up and looked up. My eyes turned red. My aura turned red as well. Energy formed around me and was charging up. "Big..."I say getting ready for my final attack."...BANG!!!"I yell. The aura gets out of control and an explotion surrounds me. The blinding light of the explotion fades away and the heartless have dissapeared. But before I could see the smile on Roxas' face, I fell on my back and fainted. The last thing I hear was Roxas calling my name.

Nice job C:

Just a tiny suggestion. It won't be too hard. Just remember to press the enter button in between a few lines so it'll be easier for a person to read

Nice chapter. Can't wait to see the new chapter

Second chapter:

Familiar feeling.

 

I feel light headed and open my eyes slowly, only to get the bright light to hurt my eyes. I looked around and saw Roxas. "Roxas?Where am I?What happened?"I ask confused. Roxas smiles. "You over did it with your final form and final move. So I brought you back to your room."Roxas says. I look at him and sit up. I stretched a bit. "So, did I passed?"I ask.

 

Roxas looks down and then back up at me. "At first no, but then they considered that you defeated all of your enemies. So yeah, you passed."Roxas says. I sigh and look at the cieling. "Thank goodness."I say. Roxas looks at me for a while. Then he starts to think for a while. He stands up. "Well, I have missions to attand to. Escuse me."Roxas says as she stands up and walks out of my room. I look at the clock and sigh. "I guess I better get going too."I say.

 

I stand up and go to the training hall where my mentor was. Siax. He hated me with all of his soul. But he would never disobey Xemnas' orders. I sigh and go over to him. He stears at me. "You did quite the preformance this morning."Siax says. "Yes, I guess I did. So,what shall I learn today?"I ask. "Today, I won't teach you a thing, but you wil learn by yourself."Siax says as she summons a portal.

 

"You will go to Halloween Town and fight heartless there. You will keep fighting until you get a new ability, and don;t you dare to come back until you have found one."Siax says. I sigh and looks at the portal. "Fine."I say. I pass through the portal and end up in Halloween Town. I look around. "Why does this seems...familiar?"I ask to myself. I walk around and encounter some heartless. I start to fight.

 

I slash a few of them and dodged all of their attacks. I keep at it as I try to get a new ability, but nothing comes. I then end up defeating all of them for now. I got to a fountain nearby and sit on it. I look at the sky and then at a space. Suddenly I see a boy with blond hair. He looked like Roxas, but it wasn't him. Along with him, a girl. I rub my eyes a bit and they were gone.

 

"That's...wierd..."I say as I stand up. I go in eeper into the town and ended up on a strange looking hill. I stare at it for a while and then decide to go to the top of it. I sat on the top and steared at the moon. I was a whole lot ifferent from Kingdom Hearts. But it was still beautiful. I kept looking at it. Suddenly a pian stroke on my head. "What the-?!ARGH!"I yell as the pain gets stronger.Then images appear.

 

~

There was the same boy and girl from before. They were walking around Halloween Town as happy as ever. They both wouldn't stop smiling. The boy would just stare at the girl. He would talk to her and she woul listen and talk back. The both were laughing.

~

 

I fell on my back and helded my head. I looked at the moon once more. This feeling...it's...familiar..."I say as I close my eyes for a while.Next thing I know, I have fallen asleep. Only to find a lost piece of me.

 

~

"You promise you will come back?"The girl asks. "I promise. I would never leave you alone. But this is important. They need me to fight along side them."The boy says as he holds her hand. "OK, but come back soon. Understand?"The girl asks. The boy smiles and laughs a bit. "Of course."The boy says as he lets go of the girls hand and walks away. The girl just stears. "Come back..."The girl whispers to herself.

~

 

I didn't wake up. I just slept the memory away.

oh write more(sorry for the long respone

Third chapter:

Memories in place.

 

I woke up.I stood up and looked around.I stretched and looked at a wristwatch I had on me.My eyes widened a bit."OH MAN!!I had to be back at the castle 3 hours ago!!!And I haven't learned a neew ability!Aw man!Siax is going to kill me...twice if possible!"I yelled.

 

I sigh and start to think for a while."What am I suppouse to do?"I ask myself.I come up with nothing and sigh.I decided to go back to the castle and so I do.I came to appear infront of Siax.What the irony."Lunax,there you are,I thought that you were suppouse to come back 3 hours ago AND with a new ability.Well,what do you have to say?"Siax asks.I just stare for a while.

 

"Uh,I-I took so long to come back,because,um,I,made such a good ability that it took me that long to get it right."I said lying.Siax raised an eyebrow and I sweatdropped a bit.He sighs."Well,I can't kill you for coming back and completetilng a mission,even though you're 3 hours late...Fine.But you're not safe yet.Today you will be fighting against Roxas to show your worth once more.Since the last time was...not good enough."Siax says as he walks away.

 

 

I sigh and look at the cieling."What happened to me back there?"I ask myself.A few hours pass and I stood infront of the Organization once more.Only that I'm now fighting against Roxas.Great.First I almost get killed by heartless and in trouble with Siax and now I have to fight my best friend here.Isn;t my life wonderfull?I took out my blade and Roxas took out his.We both steared at eachothers eyes.Nothing was in them.But regret of this desicion.Xemnas made the signal and we clashed blades.

 

Roxas tried to hit me with his blade but I dodged al of his hits.I try to slash him but he blocks it with his blade.We stear at eachother and I swear I could see sparks coming from our stare.We jumped away from eachother.And we kept fighting.My blade was more sharper than his,so he had to watch out for my slashes.But his blade was made out of the strongest material in the universe.So his hits were something to be worried about.

 

I got a hit and he got a slash.We both backed up and helded our wounds.I looked at him but I didn't saw Roxas.But someone else.He looked like the boy I saw before."What?"I ask.Then a headache struck.I fell on my knees.I helded my head.I looked at the boy."Who are you?"I ask.I helded my head and fell on the floor.I could hear tha faint voices coming around me.One that I heard was of Xemnas saying these words."I guess her Memories are coming in place...."Then I blacked out.

 

~

"I love you."says a boy."I love you too."says a girl.

~

oh i like that plot twist with xemnas.more please

Fourth Chapter:

Two kids,a promise and one Nobody.

 

I was uncounceous. I could hear faint voices,but nothing else. I wonder in my mind...and deep into my memories...

 

~

A girl and a boy were walking around to what it seemed Radiant Garden.The boy would just laugh and the girl would smile."Man Luna.I'm hungry,I want something to eat."The boy says.Luna looks at her."Well,I guess we could go for a treat."Luna says.Both of them walk around the place when they encounter heartless.

 

"Huh?What the-?!"The boy asks.Luna looks around."There's never been so many before!"Luna says.Both of them get surrounded.They look around."Something must have happened that letted out a whole massive amount of negative energy to make them appear at this number."The boy says.

 

Luna looks at him."But,what could have happened to make them like this?"Luna asks.The boy shaks his head."I don;t know.But we'll have to find out later.We need to defeat them first."The boy says as she summons a kyblade.It was Lost Memory."Stay besides me,and don't let your guard down."The boy says.Luna nods.Thy beguin to fight.

 

The boy charges at some Neoshadows and slashes through a few of them.Then he jumps in order to dstroy some Solid Armours.Then he threw his blade into the air in order to defeat some Scarlet Tangos that were nearby.His blade returns to his side an he keeps on fighting.

 

Luna summoned her blade.It wasn't a keyblade,but it was the perfect wepon to fight.She jumped in the air and destroyed some Soilders.Then she came back down and attacked some Comanders and then gave it her all to destroy some annoying Neoshadows.She made a Fira attack on one of the Neoshadows destroying it imidiatly.She jumps back and they both see that the heartless were gone.They de-summon their weapons.

 

"That was strange.Th heartless population has never been this big before."Luna says."Yeah.We'll need to invistigate.But first,that treat."The boy says with a smile.Luna looks at him."OK."Luna says.They both get to a wall and sit on it.She gets out two ice-creams."Yum!Thanks Luna!"The boy says as he starts to eat the ice cream.Luna starts to eat her ice-cream.After a while she looks at him.

 

"Hey,in a few weeks we'll have to return to the HQ.They'll probably send us on different missions after we get there."Luna says."Yeah.I guess."The boy says.Luna looks down."What if they send us to different Training areas?Then we might never see eachother more!"Luna says.The boy looks at her."What's gotten into you?Of course we'll se eachother.Silly."The boy says.Luna blushes a bit and looks away.

 

"Just saying that if you leave,I'll be alone."Luna says.The boy looks at her amd smiles."Well then.Let's make a promise.That if I leave.I'll return,and you'll do the same.Promise?"Th boy asks as he holds up his pinky finger for a pinky promise.Luna smiles a bit and interwiends her pinky finger with his."OK,promise."Luna says."But if you son't return I will hunt you down until I find you.Got it?!"Luna says.The boy starts to laugh.After a few moments Luna couldn't help it and started to laugh as well.The both laughed as the sun setted between the mountains.

~

 

I woke up and helded my head.I look to see that I was in my room and Roxas was besides me."You're awake."Roxas says happily."Yeah."I say.I look at the cieling."(What...was that?Was it a dream?)"I think.I get up and walk towards the hall."Where are you going Lunax?"Roxas asks.I stop and look at him."To ask Xemnas.For the thruth."I say as I walk towards Xemans office.I enter and see him and Siax talking.

 

"Lord Xemnas!I would like to speak to you!"I say.