Chapter 1 A New and better day

One day after Sora got the letter from the king he was sitting on the tree, where Riku and Sora always sit, but Riku and Kairi were both in their rooms asleep so Sora jumped of the tree and went to the cave with the drawing of Sora and Kairi when he heard something in the cave."Who's there" Sora asked but there was no answer. Back at Sora, Riku and Kairi's house, Riku woke up and walked into Sora's room to wake him up,"Sora time to wake u...p Sora where did you go?! Riku said" "Riku what's wrong? Kairi said", "Sora's gone... I bet he's at the islands. Riku said" Back at the islands

"Who are you?! Sora said" the hooded boy said nothing. "Well" Sora yelled so loud his voise echoed.Then all of the sudden the boy brought out two keyblades."Two"Sora whispered to him self and remembered he fought the hooded boy before he had a little reunion with Kairi and Riku.

Well looks like I'm done with chapter 1 and well this chapter and chapter 2 will be pretty short but I think I might make the story to about over 10 chapters

i see some grammer mistakes. work on your chapters.

Huh what mistakes? But any ways I need to work on my chapters.

Mistakes like the fact that you need quotation marks when people talk. Also, it hard to read when its all one paragraph. If you read a book, you'll see that everytime somebody talks, its a new paragraph unless the same person speaks twice in a row.

Okay this is just my first time typing a story on the internet.

 

Well you won't be able to tell if there are grammer mistakes because I edited it.Heheheheh...

Well the story started of with Sora meeting the organization 13 member but who is he... Because it's pretty obvious! Okay I'll give you a little hint he's the same age as Sora and the same eye color... I'll tell you how to get Vanitas keyblade in KH Birth By Sleep if you know who he is. I'm serious I know how to get it!

i see some grammer mistakes. work on your chapters.

 

Sentences begin with a capital txa. Anyways, it looks like a pretty nice story. Please keep on writing. And also, the person is Roxas and I already know how to get the Void Gear.

Okay it was too easy but Heartless101 it is Roxas but there is something different about him can you find out?

Well anyways let's go back to the story! Chapter 2 Roxas a boy with no heart "This time you won't beat me!"The boy yelled,Sora then summoned the Kingdom Key and said"Why would you want to fight me if I beat you before!",The boy then took off his hood and said"I've become stronger sense the last time you saw me!"The boy got in fighting position and Sora got in fighting position and then their Keyblade's clashed together but the boy was right he did get stronger but Sora didn't give in Sora used the last bit of strength he had and hit the boy with full power but it was like the boy took no damage."You don't stand a chance against me!" Sora and the boy didn't notice but Riku and Kairi were watching the whole thing so Riku summoned his Keyblade and before The boy did the final blow, Riku went in front of Sora and blocked the final blow then said"Do you think you could kill my friend and get away with it!?"Riku picked up Sora and shot a dark ball at him then ran back to their house. Okay I'm done with Chapter 2 will Sora live or will he leave destiny islands?

Geez do people hate my story or something?

No, its just hard to read. It is a good story, though.

Oh...Well Thanks!^_^

Geez do people hate my story or something?

 

I like it! You should keep writing!

And to make it easier to read I would suggest breaking the story into paragraghs or just adding lines in between some parts.

 

Well anyways let's go back to the story!

 

Chapter 2 - Roxas, a Boy With No Heart

"This time you won't beat me!" the boy yelled. Sora then summoned the Kingdom Key and said, "Why would you want to fight me if I beat you before!" The boy then took off his hood and said "I've become stronger since the last time you saw me!"

The boy and Sora got in fighting position and then their Keyblade's clashed together but the boy was right he did get stronger but Sora didn't give in. Sora used the last bit of strength he had and hit the boy with full power but it was like the boy took no damage.

"You don't stand a chance against me!"

Sora and the boy didn't notice but Riku and Kairi were watching the whole thing so Riku summoned his Keyblade and before the boy did the final blow, Riku went The "went" might sound better if it was a "ran" or "got" maybe in front of Sora and blocked the final blow then said, "Do you think you could kill my friend and get away with it!?"

Riku picked up Sora and shot a dark ball at him then ran back to their house.

 

Okay I'm done with Chapter 2 will Sora live or will he leave destiny islands?

Edited.

 

Geez do people hate my story or something?

 

I like it! You should keep writing!

And to make it easier to read I would suggest breaking the story into paragraghs or just adding lines in between some parts.

 

Well anyways let's go back to the story!

 

Chapter 2 - Roxas, a Boy With No Heart

"This time you won't beat me!" the boy yelled. Sora then summoned the Kingdom Key and said, "Why would you want to fight me if I beat you before!" The boy then took off his hood and said "I've become stronger since the last time you saw me!"

The boy and Sora got in fighting position and then their Keyblade's clashed together but the boy was right he did get stronger but Sora didn't give in. Sora used the last bit of strength he had and hit the boy with full power but it was like the boy took no damage.

"You don't stand a chance against me!"

Sora and the boy didn't notice but Riku and Kairi were watching the whole thing so Riku summoned his Keyblade and before the boy did the final blow, Riku went The "went" might sound better if it was a "ran" or "got" maybe in front of Sora and blocked the final blow then said, "Do you think you could kill my friend and get away with it!?"

Riku picked up Sora and shot a dark ball at him then ran back to their house.

 

Okay I'm done with Chapter 2 will Sora live or will he leave destiny islands?

Edited.

 

I've moved on dude I'm doing Justin Bieber a Vampire now.

It's soooooooooooo good, and at leased people read yours. BTW I love the jb thing. LOL