Posted February 9, 201114 yr How 'bout starting a joke thread? ;D Everyone posts jokes ill start: A Blonde man was interviewed at the US Embassy for a U.S Visa Consul : What is your name? Man: Bangali babu Consul : Sex? Man : Six to ten times a week Consul : I mean, male or female? Man: both male and female and sometimes even camels Consul : Holy cow! Man : Yes, cows and dogs too! Consul : Man...isn't it hostile? Man : Horse style, dog style, any style Consul : Oh....dear! Man : Deer? No deer, they run too fast!!
February 9, 201114 yr lol nice once A cat falls into a pool a rooster laughs what's the moral of the story? A wet pussy makes a cock happy
February 9, 201114 yr O0O ? was awsome!!!! What goes in hard and purple but comes out soft and pink? a piece of gum!
February 10, 201114 yr A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette all die in a car crash. They're told that, to get to Heaven, they have to walk up a large staircase, but every 100 steps, God will tell them a joke. If they laugh, they go to Hell. So, they start walking. After the first 100 steps, God tells them a joke and the redhead laughs. She goes to Hell. After the next 100 steps, God tells them another joke and the brunette laughs. She goes to Hell too. But after the last 100 stops, before God can even tell her the joke, the blonde starts laughing. When He asks her why, she replies, "I just got the first joke!"
February 10, 201114 yr o_. oh god!!! *barf, sniff, barfs again* sigh, why did you ruin my day!!!! ok ok ok, so, there is this guy, and he finds this ladder that never ends, so they say =.= he starts to climb and sees this nasty fat hairy chick sitting on a cloud, and she says "make love to me, or climb the ladder to thucceth (pronounced success but with a lisp)." the guy is like, "ew gross, i guess ill climb the ladder." so he climbs the ladder and comes up to another women on a cloud, but this one is more average, like, if she asked if you wanted to have sex, it would be like, why not. she says the same thing, "make love to me, or climb the ladder to thucceth." the guy thinks, "well hell, if it went to a fat bitch then to an average Jane, i better keep climbing!" so the guy keeps climbing and gets to yet, another cloud, but this one has a hot sexy girl that would make any guy cum in his pants. and shes copies all the other women, "make love to me, or climb the ladder to thucceth." this time the guy was willing to bang this chick but though, "oh damn, if this is what is in store, i bet there is more!!" so the guy keeps climbing and climbing, and climbing, AND CLIMBING. finaly, after about, 2 hours of climbing, the poor fellow finaly finds the end of the ladder, and keeps climbing, gets to the top, only to find, a fat, hairy, smelly, fugly, acne infested man, thats naked, and he says, "hi, im seth!" Q _Q
February 10, 201114 yr Author ^ Thanks for that one... o.O A guy calls the hospital. He says, "You gotta send help! My wife's going into labor!" The nurse says, "Calm down. Is this her first child?" He says, "No! This is her bloody husband!" ;D lol
February 10, 201114 yr ^hahaha! This is the story of a fat kid and a chocolate bar. it's a fable So there was a fat kid and a chocolate bar, and the fat kid ate the it. The moral of the story? DON'T EAT THE OTHER PROTANASNIT(spellcheck?) BEFORE THE BLOODY FABLE IS OVER!
February 10, 201114 yr Author ^hahaha! This is the story of a fat kid and a chocolate bar. it's a fable So there was a fat kid and a chocolate bar, and the fat kid ate the it. The moral of the story? DON'T EAT THE OTHER PROTANASNIT(spellcheck?) BEFORE THE BLOODY FABLE IS OVER! lol nice ;D
February 10, 201114 yr I have three: "I will never forget the first time we met... But I'll keep trying." "If you were my husband, I would give you poison." "If you were my wife, I would drink it." "She got her good looks from her father." "What's her fathers name?" "Bill." "What's his job?" "He's a plastic surgeon."
February 11, 201114 yr Author I have three: "I will never forget the first time we met... But I'll keep trying." "If you were my husband, I would give you poison." "If you were my wife, I would drink it." "She got her good looks from her father." "What's her fathers name?" "Bill." "What's his job?" "He's a plastic surgeon." nice combo ;D So a nice couple was having sex , after a while the guy stopped , frozen like a statue. After 10 sec his wife asked him what was he doing . He says : Honey , its a new position i learned from porn , its called buffering
February 12, 201114 yr how come most of these jokes invilve sex? anyway heres my joke: Two girls one cup
February 15, 201114 yr ^ there is something WRONG WITH YOU!!!! Two guys walk into a bar, the third ducks! lolz, true story.
February 15, 201114 yr Author ^ there is something WRONG WITH YOU!!!! Two guys walk into a bar, the third ducks! lolz, true story. took me a while to get it A female cop pulls over a drunk guy Cop" You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be held against you in the court !!!!" Guy smiles & said "boobs :)" lol ;D
February 15, 201114 yr took me a while to get it A female cop pulls over a drunk guy Cop" You have the right to remain silent' date=' anything you say will be held against you in the court !!!!" Guy smiles & said "boobs :)" lol ;D [/quote'] lolz, sounds somthing i would do! ok ok, so, a guy walks into a bar, sees a midget playing a piano and sees a genie lamp, so he rubs it and *poof* a genie pops out. the genie says " i will grant you any wish you want." so the guy asks "i want 1 million bucks." the genie asks, confused, "a million ducks?" "NO!!! A MILLION BUCKS!!!!" "ok, its your wish" and *poof* a million ducks are quaking in the bar. the guy, pissed as hell, screams, "YOU firetruckING GENIE JIPPED ME!!!!" the bar tender looks up, also pissed, and says, "yeah, hes hard of hearing, you think i wanted a 12 inch piniest?" lolz
February 15, 201114 yr Author lolz, sounds somthing i would do! ok ok, so, a guy walks into a bar, sees a midget playing a piano and sees a genie lamp, so he rubs it and *poof* a genie pops out. the genie says " i will grant you any wish you want." so the guy asks "i want 1 million bucks." the genie asks, confused, "a million ducks?" "NO!!! A MILLION BUCKS!!!!" "ok, its your wish" and *poof* a million ducks are quaking in the bar. the guy, pissed as hell, screams, "YOU firetruckING GENIE JIPPED ME!!!!" the bar tender looks up, also pissed, and says, "yeah, hes hard of hearing, you think i wanted a 12 inch piniest?" lolz lol lucky i dont need to wish for that ;D Question in a Biology exam: Draw the female reproductive organ. As the exam was progressing, a girl looked between her legs. A boy saw her and shouted: "Sir, she's copying" !!! Roflmao XDDDDDD
February 15, 201114 yr ^ OMG LOLZ!!!!! HAHAHA! ok, so these 2 guys wanted to get shit faced but they only had enough munny for one beer, so the first guy gets and idea and both of them head to the meat shop... so the first guy buys a 10 inch long salami and the second guy was pissed, "WHY DID YOU SPEND ALL OUR MUNNY ON A firetruckING MEAT STICK!?!" "because," says the first guy, "we will drink as much as we want, and then, ill slip out the salami and you start suckin' on it and we'll get thrown out for making gay love!" so they go to the first bar and drink about, 24 beers between the 2 of them, and the first dude slips out the salami and the second bloke starts to give that salami a blow job and sure enough, they get thrown out. this goes on for about, 9 bars, and finaly the second guy says "i cant do this any more, its just to gross!" and the first guy says, "yeah me too, i lost the salami and the 5th bar........." roflmfaololz
February 16, 201114 yr Here's one I searched on the internet. (It's weird and mostly weird) :s A man comes home from a tough day of work looking to unwind. After a relaxing dinner with his wife, they retired to bed. So, both go to their separate beds, however the man was not yet ready to slumber. The man called over to his wife, "My little boopey-boo, I'm lonely." So the woman gets out of bed and crosses the room to the husband. On the way she trips on the carpet and falls on her face. The husband with a concerned look on his face says, "Oh, did my little honey-woney fall on her little nosey-wosey?" The woman gets up and enters the man's bed. The two make passionate love and afterwards the women rolls out. As she is returning to her bed, she once again catches her foot on the carpet and falls flat on her face. The man looks over his shoulder at his wife lying on the floor and says, "Clumsy idiot."
February 18, 201114 yr A crazy man receives a call. ' Your woman is staying with your best friend ' Moments later, he gets his shot gun. He heads for his room. The Neighbors hear a shot and say ' YEAH, HE'S DEAD'. But who was killed............ was his DOG!
February 18, 201114 yr Author A crazy man receives a call. ' Your woman is staying with your best friend ' Moments later, he gets his shot gun. He heads for his room. The Neighbors hear a shot and say ' YEAH, HE'S DEAD'. But who was killed............ was his DOG! if that made you laugh, you have a twisted mind o.O Two blondes were walking down the road when one says,'' look at that dog with one eye!!'' The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says ''where?' loll
February 19, 201114 yr A farmer had 3 daughters and they all had a date at the same time. The farmer was nervous about his daughters going on their first dates so he waited at the door with his shotgun. The first boy turned up and said, "Hi, my names Joe, I'm here for Flo, we're going to the show, is she ready to go?" The farmer thought this boy was alright and let his first daughter go. The second boy turned up and said, "Hey, my names Eddy, I'm here for Betty, we're going for spaghetti, is she ready? The farmer thought this boy was alright too and let the second daughter go. The third boy turned up and said, "Hi, my names Chuck" and the farmer shot him.
February 19, 201114 yr A farmer had 3 daughters and they all had a date at the same time. The farmer was nervous about his daughters going on their first dates so he waited at the door with his shotgun. The first boy turned up and said, "Hi, my names Joe, I'm here for Flo, we're going to the show, is she ready to go?" The farmer thought this boy was alright and let his first daughter go. The second boy turned up and said, "Hey, my names Eddy, I'm here for Betty, we're going for spaghetti, is she ready? The farmer thought this boy was alright too and let the second daughter go. The third boy turned up and said, "Hi, my names Chuck" and the farmer shot him. I can finish the sentence ^.^ The third boy turned up and said, "Hi, my names Chuck, and me and Puck are ready to fu-" and the farmer shot him.
How 'bout starting a joke thread? ;D
Everyone posts jokes
ill start:
A Blonde man was interviewed at the US Embassy for a U.S Visa
Consul : What is your name?
Man: Bangali babu
Consul : Sex?
Man : Six to ten times a week
Consul : I mean, male or female?
Man: both male and female and sometimes even camels
Consul : Holy cow!
Man : Yes, cows and dogs too!
Consul : Man...isn't it hostile?
Man : Horse style, dog style, any style
Consul : Oh....dear!
Man : Deer? No deer, they run too fast!!