[deleted]

Edited January 9, 20241 yr by Toasty

God should love you no matter what and he should accept you for who you are. Your dad seems to be getting the wrong idea of Shelby. You two seem like you've been through alot and just to give up and not see her because he doesn't like her is something that you shouldn't do in my opinion. Just because she sent you yaoi pictures, doesn't mean your dad should get offended. There is nothing wrong with being bisexual, gay, lesbian, trisexual, transexual, or ANY sexuality. It's who you are and you should be happy to be who you are

I've never talked to Shelby but I've talked to you and you seem like a very talented, kind, nice, and good hearted person and I'm sure your dad, Shelby and all your friends can agree on that so you shouldn't change who you are.

I think you should sit down and have a talk with you dad. Tell him how you really feel. I'm sure Shelby is trustworthy, he just doesn't see it that way. But you need to be up front about it and tell him that you can't just stop seeing your best friend because he doesn't want you to.

I won't tell you that life's not fair. Instead, I'm going to tell you that it's going to be alright and you're going to get through this. It may feel like it sucks now but I'm sure your dad will understand once he realizes that you and Shelby are really tight and close friends. Don't feel the need to give up on a good friendship just because someone doesn't want you hanging out with that friend. True friendship is a bond that can never be broken and it sounds like you and Shelby have a true friendship

If you want to talk more about this, feel free to IM or PM me and I'll try and help you out

@Zexion_Lover_46 Thank you so much for that. I can hardly comprehend the events going on and I wish my dad had your point of view. I hope God loves me for who I am, I try so hard to be perfect, for everyone. It just feels like it's never good enough, especially for my dad. Shelby is trustworthy and my best friend. We've been together for the longest time and to have my dad say this is breaking me--it feels like a punch to the gut. I hate it. Absolutely hate it. I wish he could see thing the way you do. I wish he'd love me for me. But the truth is;

 

I don't think he does whole-heartedly.

 

Thank to though, for these words. It comforts me just a bit. But I still have no courage to talk to him. It just dwindles everytime.

Honestly, I don't put it past your Dad to cut you off from someone who sent you pornographic images.

Sorry. But asking for those, is asking for trouble.

talked to you about it over IM <3 but here I am just to wish you good luck C: <3

@RoxSoxKH They weren't pornographic images. It was just hugging and kissing. There's two very different definitions of yaoi. She sent me shonen-ai. I...I can't believe you really just said that Roxy. I thought you'd be the one trying to support me the most with this.

Well, I can't blame your father.. I don't know what I would do if I saw my daughter seeing man kissing another man.. But you have to follow Reikon's advice. When everything calms down, you have to try to at least say what truly happened. Say that your BF is like everything for you. Say that you're very very sad with him. Don't turn the sadness into rage, it won't make things better. And since he saw you seeing man kissing another man, he could think that you've been seeing worse things than that.. Keep chatting with your BF, but don't abandon your father. He'll feel worse and turn your situation worse.. Who knows? Maybe he'll feel that you're switching him for your BF.. But really, try to have a conversation. Explain everything, hear what he has to say.. What would you do if you saw your daughter seeing that?

Yeah, well, sorry. Sorry you lost your friend. Sorry for everything that just happened to you. But I don't blame your father for cutting you off from her. No parent is gonna approve of their child taking part in that. And so they'll do what they think is right, cut their child off from whoever they think is person responsible for getting you tied up in that. In this case it's Shelby. So in this case, he stopped you from seeing her. Not because he hates you. But because he cares enough about you to do what he thinks is best for you.

Well, RoxSox I disagree, but understand where you are coming from.

[thread]

Well, I think your dad has NO RIGHT whats so ever too pick your friends for you. My parents tried that on me and I told them that they were wrong. Me and my parents are VERY different people. Anyway, I think you and your dad should talk it out. Like, be like "It could have been worse stuff, they were only hugging and kissing. Some people like MORE and i find that disgusting." <-- idk if you find it disgusting, but maybe your dad does, and like he will feel better and trust you AND Shelby more. It may also be helpful to add that you and Shelby don't like the "more" stuff. Idk your actual opinions, I'm just trying to help.?

@Me Well maybe Shelby and I both look at that because we're bisexual and we are together. It's not like it's any different from a boy our age looking at a Playboy magazine and whatnot. And don't say it is, because it isn't. If I saw my daughter looking at a man kissing another man I'd be concerned yes but never would u cu her of from her best friend because of it. Would I approve completely? Well it really depends not he decision. Thank you though for advice, I really hope things work out. And I'm sorry if I seemed rude to you-I'm just very stressed ^^'

 

@RoxSoxKH Again, how is it any different from male x female porn or teenage guys my age looking at Lesbian girls or Playboy. It isn't. And my dad clearly doesn't know what's best if he's willing incur out the most important person in my life. Shelby is everything to me and you know that. I'm not getting personal with you right now, because this will bring up something I had to talk with you about but I won't. Roxy, my dad is closing me from her because he's afraid. I know he doesn't want me to be bisexual and he'd rather more times then not that he had a different daughter than me. He even commented on how I should have been born a boy. God forbid I'm different. I appreciate your advice but I can't help bu feel that your being biased. And that you're not grasping the whole situation. I'm sorry.

@Me Well maybe Shelby and I both look at that because we're bisexual and we are together. It's not like it's any different from a boy our age looking at a Playboy magazine and whatnot. And don't say it is, because it isn't. If I saw my daughter looking at a man kissing another man I'd be concerned yes but never would u cu her of from her best friend because of it. Would I approve completely? Well it really depends not he decision. Thank you though for advice, I really hope things work out. And I'm sorry if I seemed rude to you-I'm just very stressed ^^'

 

 

 

Does he know that you're bisexual?

I... I'm really sorry.[hugs] My dad tried to do the same thing- and my mom, too. They read my IM history, found drabbles and fanfiction links and art and ohlord how they freaked. Just... give it some time for you both to cool off about it, and then maybe just speak to him calmly about it- just... try and use euphemism. Claim it isn't as bad as he thinks. My parents are deeply homophobic, but try and present it at just an interest...? If it's only shonen-ai, it isn't like it's that explicit...

@Me No. Because he's a homophobic. And he'd never speak to me again. Hence the reason he's freaking out abou the situation

 

@Rosie I guess you're right. I just hope my parents are as forgiving as yours. I'm so scared to see them get mad at me and separate Shelby and I...

I'VE NEVER SEEN MY NAME SHOW UP SO MUCH IN A THREAD. I feel both special and sad.

 

Ah, but by the way things are going on the phone right now, it sounds more like he's loosening up to the idea. I can't hear very well anymore since THE DRYER IS GOING but I can hear my mom laughing and having a seemingly friendly, casual conversation with Allie's dad right now... I feel a bit better.

 

And to think that just a few hours ago, I was devastated, hugging my mom and crying, begging her to do what she could because I felt insecure and powerless...

 

Usually I'M THE ONE giving the advice. Having it flipped on me seems like a huuuge punch in the face.

I'm sorry for you not being able to see your friend, and I'm not totally agreeing with what your dad is doing, but you have to take into consideration his opinion. To most, Yaoi can be consider an equivalent to porn, even if nothing is explicitly sexual is in the yaoi. And you said how is yaoi any different from teenage boys watching porn. You do know that those boys get in trouble when they get caught, right?

 

You have to think about whose parents wouldn't freak if they saw their kid looking at pictures with the same sex doing "stuff". The parents of a male child most likely would have the same reaction if he was getting Yuri pictures from a friend. Your dad is acting naturally, trying to bring you away from your friend who he sees as a problem, since she was the one sending you yaoi. It's not right that he isn't accepted your sexuality, but you can't fully blame him for his reaction to this whole situation.