I know there has been a recent interest in Canada and some of you might be annoyed that another thread about Canada is being posted but I couldn't resist posting this when I saw it.

 

"Mon pays, ce n'est pas un pays; c'est l'hiver."

— Gilles Vigneault

Translation: "My country, it's not a country; it's winter."

 

"Hi... I'm not a lumberjack, or a fur trader. I don't live in an igloo or eat blubber, or own a dogsled, and I don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada, although I'm certain they're really really nice. I have a Prime Minister, not a President. I speak English and French, not American. And I pronounce it 'about', not 'a boot'. I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack. I believe in peace keeping, not policing; diversity, not assimilation; and that the beaver is a truly proud and noble animal. A toque is a hat, a chesterfield is a couch, and it is pronounced zed. Not zee, zed!! Canada is the second largest landmass, the first nation of hockey, and the best part of North America!!! MY NAME IS JOE, AND I! AM! CANADIAN!!! Thank you."

— Joe

 

 

explanation of Canada (seen above) sums up what most Canadians see their country as. It is a land of misconceptions, and most Canadians take that in good stride, even using it for self deprecating humor. We're quiet, peaceful and we don't like to make a fuss, though that never stopped us from standing up to evil when we were needed. We also get a little stir crazy over hockey. It's... just so AWESOME.

 

There aren't many of us. For the second largest country in the world, there are only 35 million Canadians, which compared to other countries is pretty small—the United Kingdom has twice as many people crammed on that small island. Despite us being few, we historically like to fight with one another for god knows why. The Western provinces (British Columbia, Alberta, Saskatchewan and Manitoba) like to hate on Central Canada (Ontario and Quebec), the Maritime Provinces (Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, and Prince Edward Island) have severe inferiority complexes and resent that they never get any of the good stuff, Newfoundland sort of still collectively wishes they hadn't joined Confederation, while the Francophones in Quebec look poorly upon the Anglophones in the rest of the country. Meanwhile the Anglophones in Quebec just quietly try to subvert the language laws (Basically, each side see the other as Always Chaotic Evil, except its more complicated.) Every province likes to bash Ontario, and all Canadians who don't live there like to talk about how much Toronto sucks. Why is it like this? Mainly because of our confusing origins and exacerbated regional differences. In many cases, we're also Vitriolic Best Buds, in that we're always teasing and mocking each other, but when the chips are down and we're in a real crisis, we help each other out.

 

We have three Crowning Moments of Awesome that fill most Canadians with pride. The first is when we repulsed a United States invasion of Canada in the War of 1812. The second is the battle of Vimy Ridge in World War One, where the four Canadians divisions of the Canadian Expeditionary Force participated in battle together, using tactics by Canadian General Arthur William Currie to capture the ridge from the Germans, an achievement that had eluded the British and French forces. And finally, Game 8, 1972, Canada v. Soviet Union, HENDERSON SCORES BABY. Of course, per usual with any of our achievements, other nations try and drag us down. Americans claim it was mainly British soldiers who burned down the White House, Brits and the French claim Canada only took Vimy Ridge due to support from them, and that the ridge wasn't that important in the Western Front anyways, and the Russians are steadfast in their belief Canada only won the Summit Series Hockey match through cheating.

 

Berserk Buttons for Canadians include: Insisting Canada is still a Dominion of the United Kingdom (we just happen to share the same queen is all) or in anyway is in some sort of union with the United States, or suggesting Quebec should be independent (outside of Quebec, minus certain parts of Montreal), as well as even implying that we are not as modest as we say we are, or sometimes even implying that anyone else is better than us (although this depends on who you talk to). It has never ended well for foreign politicians who have done this. Isn't that right, Monsieur de Gaulle et Madame Royal?

 

And recently, the Vancouver 2010 Olympics had filled us Canucks with pride. In both the Montreal and Calgary Olympic games, Canada had failed to win any gold medals in home soil. But here, we won a total of fourteen gold medals, the most gold medals ever won by any country at the Winter Games. Which meant our national anthem was heard more than any other country in our own country at the Olympics. It began with Alexandre Bilodeau at moguls and ending with the men's hockey team beating United States 3-2 in overtime.

 

Finally, it should be noted that Canada does have more than one television channel, and more than one high school.

 

Montreal, the second largest French speaking city in the world after Paris.

 

Toronto, the biggest city and the financial hub of Canada, but is not the national capital (that's Ottawa, also in Ontario but a bit to the north. It is the provincial capital though.), and definitely not the center of the universe no matter how much Torontonians may wish for it.

 

Vancouver, the financial center for Western Canada, with a massive Pacific port. It is the city that is not Seattle no matter how much Hollywood wants to convince you otherwise.

 

P.S. - Canadians actually do say "eh". It's not a Verbal Tic though. On its own ("Eh?"), it is used to replace "What?" and frequently means "if you know what I mean" if used at the end of a sentence.

And the tropes:

 

Aww, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other: Canada's provinces, in that our relationship with our provinces is much like the one the Americans have with their states.

 

Berserk Button: Don't ever call a Canadian an American.

 

- Or mock Terry Fox in front of a Canadian. It won't be pretty * .

- Or talk bad about hockey. Or our beer. Or insult both in a hockey area, as Bud B Boomer found out. What makes it even more hilarious was that the actor was Canadian.

- Also, even though hockey is also loved and played in other countries (such as the USA, Russia, Sweden, Switzerland and the Czech Republic respectively), never EVER assume to a Canadian that hockey is no longer Canada's game. Because it's still our game.

- Or mention Quebec sovereignty to any Canadian outside of Quebec (mostly anglophones, respectively).

- Don't tell anyone that canadian french is the same thing as parisian french. It won't end well.

 

Beware the Nice Ones: There is a reason why in World War II the Germans were more afraid of Canucks With Chinooks than any other opponent on the Western Front.

 

The British Empire / The Commonwealth: We're part of this.

 

Canadians Love Curling: Curling originated from Scotland, yet it's Canada that dominates curling in international competitions.

 

Crowning Moment of Awesome: The Vancouver 2010 Olympic Games. The fact that we broke the record for the most gold medals won by any country in the Winter Games (14) when previously we had never won any gold medals on home soil made it all the more sweeter.

- Sidney Crosby's OT goal and the incredible assist by Jarome Iginla in the gold medal game for men's hockey has to be the best way to end an Olympic tournament, while the icing on the cake is

- Canada's Hundred Days. 4 Canadian Divisions fighting and winning against 47 German divisions over a period of one hundred days.

- During Operation Overlord, Canadian forces were assigned their own beach to assault (Juno). According to reports, they faced stiffer resistance than Omaha Beach (famously depicting inSaving Private Ryan) and yet, at the end of the day, had penetrated farther into the German defenses than any other beach.

- Battle of Kapyong in The Korean War, where two battalions of Canadian and Australian soldiers fought against the vastly superior Chinese divison. At one point, the Canadians had to call down artillery fire on themselves because they were so overwhelmed by the attacking enemy. And when an Australian major called a US general for backup, the general honestly thought that the soldiers there were all wiped out. The major simply replied that "I've got news for you, we are still here and we are staying here!" The end result: 31 Australians killed, 10 Canadians killed and over 1000 Chinese killed.

 

Crowning Moment of Heartwarming: Much of our relationship with the United States is this. When we aren't insulting each other, that is.

- Our relationship with Netherlands too. During World War II, Netherlands was invaded by Germany and suffering from famine and a bitter winter when Canadian troops liberated them and distributed the needed supplies to the people. In the following years (and many still to come), Netherlands has sent tulips (their national flower) to Ottawa every year in gratitude.

- Said gratitude is not just for the liberation, but also for hosting their Royal Family during the war; a princess (a sister of the current queen) was even born here, in Ottawa, in a hospital room made as international soil so her sole nationality would be Dutch.

- After the Halifax explosion (in which more than half the city was devastated), one of the first international cities to respond was Boston. The following year, Halifax has provided a Christmas tree for Boston in thanks. This practice was revived in 1971, and every year since, without fail, the tree in Boston Common has been provided by the Nova Scotian government.

- The Canadian reaction to the World Trade Center attacks. American planes were diverted to just about every major Canadian airport. Thousands found places to sleep in school gyms and church halls. A large group of temporarily displaced Americans still keeps in close contact with their hosts in Gander, Newfoundland.

- Seriously, the entire Vancouver 2010 Olympics.

- In an episode of the The Rick Mercer Report, Rick Mercer found out that not only does Canada Post mail Christmas letters to our troops in Afghanistan for free, but Canada Post ensures that letters to Santa can be answered in 27 different languages including Braille. Rick started crying.

 

Curb-Stomp Battle: The Women's hockey team in Torino 2006 Olympics completely dominated poor Italy 16-0. They did it again in Vancouver, when going against Slovakia, they won 18-0.

- In Vancouver 2010, everyone thought the men's hockey team would have an incredibly tough game ahead against Russia after they had lost to the US earlier. The game ended with Canada winning 7-3. And at one point, Canada was winning 6-1.

The Canadian Men's Hockey Team holds the record for the largest score margin in ice hockey. Ever. In 1949, the Canadian team beat Denmark 47-0. Jeez.

 

Ensemble Darkhorse: Curling. Not to mention Canada's captains of said sport, Kevin Martin and Cheryl Bernard.

 

Fire-Forged Friends: Canada and Australia are like this, fighting together on two occasions (the Battle of Amiens and Battle of Kapyong) and being awesome while at it.

 

A Friend in Need: Canada has a long history of helping other nations from across the world.

- During World War 2, after liberating Netherlands, Canada sent supplies over, even doing coordinated air drops of food to the still German-occupied areas. And even before that, Canada took in the royal Dutch family and temporarily allowed the hospital ward where Princess Margiet was born to be extraterritorial, so she could be Dutch.

- Also during the Chilean mining incident in 2010, Canada was among the foreign countries sending aid, providing the drill that got the miners safely out.

 

Good Bad Translation: According to legend, when Jaques Cartier asked the Huron-Iroquois people where he was, they replied that they were taking him to "kanata", meaning "the village". He interpreted it as "we are in the nation of Kanata". So he wrote "Canada" on all the maps.

 

Hey, It's That Guy!: A frequent occurrence in Canadian film and television due to the small size of the industry and of its pool of actors. One comedian once joked that "You know you're watching Canadian TV when the actors in the show are the same ones as in the commercials."

 

Hypocritical Heartwarming: Only Canadians are allowed to make fun of other Canadians. The Western side (British Columbia, Alberta, Saskatchewan and Manitoba) pick on Ontario and Quebec, who are happy to fight each other. And everyone bashes Ontario (or least, Toronto). But in all honesty, any non-Canadian person saying this will be torn to pieces and fed to the wolves.

 

Let's Get Dangerous: Before World War I, Canada was just some British colony overseas that no one really knew or cared about. By the end of the war, German soldiers were terrified of Canadian troops.

- From a commenter from Youtube, referring to this

Every once in a while Canada taps the world on its shoulder and says, "Hey, take a look over here. I have a secret to share with you." And the world looks in. But they should know Canada is this good even when nobody is looking.

 

Memetic Mutation: "Just watch me." ~ Pierre Trudeau

- "The state has no business in the bedrooms of the nation." ~ Also Pierre Trudeau

- "You had an option, sir." ~ Brian Mulroney

- "Conscription if necessary but not necessarily conscription." ~ William Lyon Mackenzie King

- "

" ~ Bob Cole

- "A proof is a proof. What kind of a proof? It's a proof. A proof is a proof. And when you have a good proof, it's because it's proven." ~ Jean Chretien

 

National Stereotypes: It's nice up here, eh?

- Not to mention there's a lot of girlfriends up here.

- The whole Vancouver 2010 Closing Ceremony was composed of this.

- Sorry.

- Don't worry aboot it.

 

One of Us: Prime Minister Stephen Harper enjoys

- He also enjoys singing about getting high despite being quite conservative and against drugs.

- In the 2011 federal election, NDP leader Jack Layton was seen as this (combined with the plucky everyman) in part thanks to his cane (from recent hip surgery) and because he was the only party leader who actually seemed to be enjoying himself (and didn't look like his face was breaking when he smiled). The NDP came out with the most seats they'd ever had in the history of the party and became the Official Opposition for the first time.

 

Ragtag Bunch of Misfits: What the Canadians forces were during the time of War Of 1812, despite being a British colony and not Canada yet.

 

Serious Business: We take hockey very seriously. Anyone who says otherwise suffers a painful death.

- The 2011 Vancouver hockey riot should be proof enough.

 

The Rival : With United States.

- Especially in hockey.

- Russia is another major rival in hockey, dating back to the Soviet Union. Arguably larger than even the United States.

 

Tear Jerker: Jack Layton, leader of the New Democratic Party and the Official Opposition died after battling cancer thoughout the 2011 federal election. Hundreds of supporters came out to pay their respects in cities across the country. In Toronto where his electoral riding was, mourners covered a Toronto landmark with chalk messages of support. Shortly before his death he composed a letter to Canadians: My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world. All my very best, Jack Layton

 

Took A Level In Bad Ass: It all began in Ypres. For some, it already began in 1812.

 

World War I: Where we kicked German ass.

 

World War II: Where we kicked more German ass.

 

Worthy Opponent: Adolf Hitler paid his respects to the Vimy Ridge Memorial, having fought against Canadian soldiers in World War I. During German occupation in France in World War II, he set guards to the memorial so it would not be desecrated.

TV tropes is just addicting

TV tropes is just addicting

 

So frickin' much. Couldn't stop laughing when I was reading this.

Why the hell is that everyone starts posting threads about canada, I just wanted to know what people thought about those canadians. So this new trend is all about canada now?

Why the hell is that everyone starts posting threads about canada, I just wanted to know what people thought about those canadians. So this new trend is all about canada now?

 

I dunno. It's just pride in my country. I just saw that thread about Canada so I thought I would spread real knowledge of Canada throughout the site. I particularly like the three posts I made because it really sums up what Canada is to a T.