Namine is the nerd of the school.Nobody would even look at her.She was just the girl who got bully by everybody.The cool girls would make fun of her.The boys would say that she a ugly witch who will never get a boyfriend.As for Sora.He was the cool kid at school.

The one girls wanted.The one boys wanted to be.Everybody loved him.Namine would look at Sora and say"Damn he such a jerk" Sora was also the heartbreaker of the school.Anyways lets start with the first day of school.

Namine sitin in the class room.Trying to fix her hair for the mean girls wouldn't make fun of her.

The bell rings.Namine put her head down hoping nobody would see her.

Everybody walks into the class room.Olette walks up to Namine."Hey look it the ugly witch!" Yelled Namine.

Everybody in the room start calling her"Ugly witch' Namine just put her head down.

The teacher walked in."Hello class.'' She said."Is everybody here today?"She asked the class kindly.

The teacher looked at where Sora should be siting. She let out a deep sigh."Just one day when he not late or when he in school" She said Sadly.Sora ran into the class room"I'M HERE!" He yelled. Everybody looked at him.

Roxas rolled his eyes."God Sora you could at least try to be on time" He said looking down at his book.

Sora rolled his eyes and walked to his chair.He looked at it and seen"Think before you break my heart!"

On the chair.Sora smile and sit'd down.

The chair break and Sora fell right on his a@@.Everybody start laughing at Sora.

Sora got up"WHO DID THAT!" Yelled Sora rubing his back.Namine looked be hide her."You okay?"

She asked.Sora looked at Namine"I'm fine" He said madly.

The teacher looked at Sora."Well then.Sora you are going to be siting next to Namine today."

Said the teacher with a smile,Riku being one of Sora best friend.Looked at him and said"Look like Sora sitin next to ugly witch today HA!"Yelled Riku smiling.Sora rolled his eyes and sat down next to Namine."Sorry if i'm buging you" He said.Sora never was mean to Namine.He never talked to her.And whenever the cool girls was buging her.He would do something.Nobody knows why he just did.

 

 

Sorry it short.I'll make the next part later.

I chose "stop making storys piz".

i thought it was good can you please make a longer version

i thought it was good can you please make a longer version

 

Sure.

 

I chose "stop making storys piz".

 

Don't lie...You know you love me lol

Sora took out his books."Okay everybody.I will now tell you who you will be working with for the School talent show this year."Said the Teacher with a smile.

"Roxas and Kairi,Tommy and Lilly,Olette and Riku and Namine and Sora."

Said the Teacher with a smile.Sora looked at Namine."What are we doing for the telent show?" He asked with a smile.Namine put her head down.And start reading."Or you can just act like I'm not here.Thats fine" Said Sora.Olette thrown a note to Namine.Namine opens the note"Ugly witch.Stay away.Bit**" The note said.Namine sat down with her head down.And start to cry.Roxas looked at Namine"Nam's? Are you okay?" He asked.

 

At Lunch.

Roxas got lunch for him and Namine,He walked to where Namine was sitin

"Hey Nam's" He said as he pass her lunch to her.

Namine smiled lightly."Thanks Rock" She said Happly" "So what are you and jack a@@ doing for the school telent show" Roxas asked with a smile.Namine start eating her lunch."I don't know and I sure as hell don't care" She said while eating her food.Roxas looked at her and smiled,"Wow you sure hate him" Said Roxas with a smile while he start eating his food.

Namine"Well he broken lots of hearts"

Roxas"Hahah!"

Namine"What?"

Roxas"You like him"

Namine'DO NOT!"

Olette walked up to Namine and poored milk over her head.Namine got up and yelled.

"WHAT THE HELL!" She yelled."Witch,Witch,Stay away bit**'' Olette said with a smile.

Sora ran to Olette "Really?!" Sora yelled.Olette looked at Sora like he went nuts."What? She a ugly witch" She said with a smile.Olette walked away with a smile.

Sora rolled his eyes."You okay Namine?" He asked with a smile.

Namine rolled her eyes and walked away.Roxas looked at Sora."You and her would so get marry .Haha!' Said Roxas with a smile as he walk away.Namine walked into the girls room."God their such a bunch of...Uggg's!!!" She yelled.

She wash the milk out of her hair and went home.When she got there.She went to her room.Witch had nothing but cut up pages from her book."Oh Gege!!!" She yelled.

Namine had a dog name"Gege" Who loved to eat up page's from her book.

Namine picked up the pages and did her home work and went to bed.

i really enjoy readings this, it's really good

i really enjoy readings this, it's really good

 

Thanks

This is starting to get good.

This one is going to be short sorry

 

 

 

Sora woke up and start to get ready for school,He run his fingers through his hair.And got his backpack.

And was on his way.

Sora walked to the bus stop and seen Namine..

''HEY NAMINE!!!" Sora yelled with a smile.Namine was not in the mood for Sora.So she walked another way.

~At School.~

 

Sora walk to his class room and sat down.He put on his ipod.Out of nowhere Olette pop out of nowhere."Hey good lookin!"

She said with a smile.Sora jump out of his seat ."WHAT THE!" He yelled.

Olette looked at Sora."So what's goin on with you and that witch?"

She asked,Sora rolled his eyes and walked away.

 

Sorry it so short

MUST...RESIST...URGE...TO....CORRECT....GRAMMAR D:

The Teacher walked into the class room."Sora? What are you doing here? Class didn't start yet."

Said the Teacher with a smile.Sora looked at the Teacher"OH.Um well i just wanted to.,,,GIVE MY HOME WORK IN!"

The Teacher looked at Sora."Okay where is it?" She asked kindly.

Sora looked down."I didn't do it" Said Sora.The Teacher laughed."Just take a seat and do your home work you got 30 mins till class start."

 

Meanwhile.

 

 

 

 

Namine was reading a book outside the school.Roxas walked up to Namine"Hey Nam's."

He said while smiling.Namine looked up."Oh hey Rock" Namine said as she put her book down.

"So whats up"Asked Roxas. Namine looked at Roxas"The sky?" She said with a smile.

Roxas rolled his eyes"Whatever".

DX please stop THIS IS HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DX please stop THIS IS HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Now that just mean.

Not even grammar correct can fix this.

Not even grammar correct can fix this.

 

Well you guys don't have to be so mean.

ignore them... this is a good story

stop writing piz

You guys need to stop being so damn rude to her. She's 11. Jesus Christ, the least you could do is give her tips to get better.

 

I think that her grammar and spelling need work, but that's something you develop in the later stages of writing. I think she did pretty well, aside from the grammar mistakes. She'll get better with the more she writes, and her progress can only go up from there.

 

I say keep writing.

Those guys are just being irrational.

Oh my god stop flooding this thread with your constant arguing and do that in private. You two are just spamming now and it's ridiculous.

 

But yes, while you're 11 there are still some things you really need to improve on. For instance, the grammar as some have mentioned. But that's something you should be aware of and try to pick up as you continue to work on your writing. So far the story is alright and is a great start, and although there are some ideas you have for it that could be improved and elaborated on to make it slightly more interesting than it is. The point of the writing section is to post whatever you want, and if others are willing to help you improve your work, then so be it. Occasionally someone will be harsher than they should and say something uncalled for. If someone's being rude in their criticism only take out what you want. You don't need to call them a dick back or anything and just say, "Thanks for your input" or ignore them and move on.

 

Keep writing or don't, it's whatever you feel like doing!

My problem with this is that it's a cliche plot and it's been done SO many times before, but it's always good to practice.

 

Basically listen to what Kaiso said.

Axgrce votes: keep weighting, Kaiso's advice is good though.

Axgrce votes: keep weighting, Kaiso's advice is good though.

 

Um I stopped writing this a long time ago.

So yeah...

Sorry.