Hi! Wow, I haven't made one of these in a while. I remember when I made personal threads about how my life was so horrible and blah blah blah.

Anyways, I kind of just wanted to make this to get several things out.

First and most recently and on going: Me and my girlfriend

We've been together almost a full 8th months and I'm just shocked and happy and wondering where the time all went? Since it felt like just weeks ago we were too shy to even hold each others hand and I was still without a first kiss. And now we just hold hands at school and kiss like it's something we've always done and it just feels really natural to be with her and aaah. Hi I'm Koko and I'm just completely happy at how well my first real relationship is coming along.

That being said, she recently came out to her dad, basically he asked her if we were dating and she said yes without thinking and her dad was actually pretty chill about it. Only thing is now no more sleepovers. Even though we didn't really do anything and wouldn't do anything because first of all, my girlfriend is asexual and second of all, I am not ready for anything LOL. I still giggle like an idiot when she even gives me a kiss on the cheek.

So seeing as my girlfriend came out to at least one of her parents and they know we're dating I'm kind of just waiting for my parents to ask me since I know they suspect something. I don't want to tell them. Dear god know, they would not allow me to see her anymore and ugh. And before anyone tells me that I should tell them, then I will just let you know that my mother is the most judgmental bitch ever and image is everything to her so HEAVEN FORBID HER CHILD IS GAY AND IS DATING SOMEONE OF THE SAME SEX. And my dad would probably just yell at me and possibly kick me out of the house. So, yeah, I have to play it careful around them.

Second: School

Now, I love my high school. After spending several years in hell in middle school and elementary school, I was finally able to get away from all the people that frequently bullied and harassed me. There's no drama and I just feel really calm and that the only stress I get is from actual schoolwork and not people making me miserable. The problem is, there's a possibility I might be forced to move to the school where are my tormentors are located due to moving the TechMed program I'm in over there. I am not looking forward to that. Since apparently people talk a lot about me over there, no sure if in a good way or bad way and a bunch of people there know I'm gay and if my memory is correct, not all of them were very pro-LGBT. In fact, some people were very hostile. I'm trying my best to be able to stay at my current school, but it'll be difficult since buses are a main mode of transportation for me, so if I was to put a fake address so I could still be zoned to my school, I'd need to have a car and my license by then. And I'm not sure if that'll happen. So worried about that a lot. I just don't want to put up with drama again and I'm afraid if I go there I might become miserable and depressed again.

Third: Weight loss/body image

The toughest thing in my life right now is definitely that. Sometimes I just get really upset if I even gain one pound or I feel like I look chubbier than the day before and it's really hard. Not only do I want to be in a healthy weight range since I am overweight, I just want to look and feel good. People think it's bad, but I just really want to be thinner and lose some of my curves because I am just not happy with how I look nor do I like them. I just find prominent collar bones and hip bones and shoulder blades much more attractive. And I especially want to lose weight in hope that my chest actually becomes smaller since I just really hate it. If all fails, I am seriously considering breast reduction when I'm older.

I just find it really hard to watch what I eat and try to exercise frequently because sometimes I'm just not up to it. I have lost 15 pounds since September and for that I am proud and my hip bones are also becoming more prominent (to the point that when i lay down in a certain position it feels odd because my hip bones are just like pressing into something and I reacted with HOLY SHIT I HAVE HIP BONES).

I feel kind of weird talking about bones a lot but don't worry guys I am not starving myself, I am trying to lose weight THE HEALTHY WAY.

Fourth: Life in general???

Life

has been

good?

A year ago I'd probably would've gone through several major bouts of depression but right now, if anything, I've only gotten mildly upset for a moment and maybe cried, but nothing like the days of just utter miserableness I used to experience. Even though I still have problems with my parents, I've been getting through them better. Me and my dad haven't had any huge arguments where I've yelled and cussed at him in a while, instead I've basically learned to tell him to stop yelling at me whenever I felt like I was going to explode (advice from my psychologist). Biggest problem is definitely my mom. My mother is 3 year old I swear to god. Recently, I've found out even my sister is annoyed with how offended she easily gets. But I'm learning to word things carefully and not use certain tones with her. My psychologist told her and my dad that they should do certain things since it seems at times it really is their fault and they need to react better since they don't have good parenting skills in certain situations, but sadly they don't listen so I've just tried to do my part instead and it's been pretty great.

 

Yeah.

tl;dr

My girlfriend and I have been together for 8 months and are really happy.

I might have to change schools and I'm scared because I don't want to be miserable again.

I like collar bones, shoulder blades and hip bones and I want to lose weight because I want to look and feel good about myself.

I'm learning to deal with my lack of parenting skills parents.

It looks like your life may be falling into place now

And dont worry about school. Just do what you gotta do and dont worry!

I'm glad to hear things are doing well. About the changing school, you may be able to convince the school district to stay at your current school if your mom helps. I just know this from my own experience, but I had two times I went to a school out of my zone. Once was from 3rd to 5th grade. The school I went to in 2nd grade and before was a year round school, so my mom asked them if I could be in a school with a regular year. The second time was when I moved Senior year and they figured there was no need to change schools when I'm about to graduate.

 

So if you ask your mom, maybe she could try to call some people. Be honest and say it's because your old bullies are there. If that's the reason she gives them, I can't see why they would "Too bad, you're going there anyway." (Although anything is possible in the American education system these days ) But I think you can have a say to your school, you just need to give in some effort ^^

I'm glad to hear things are doing well. About the changing school, you may be able to convince the school district to stay at your current school if your mom helps. I just know this from my own experience, but I had two times I went to a school out of my zone. Once was from 3rd to 5th grade. The school I went to in 2nd grade and before was a year round school, so my mom asked them if I could be in a school with a regular year. The second time was when I moved Senior year and they figured there was no need to change schools when I'm about to graduate.

 

So if you ask your mom, maybe she could try to call some people. Be honest and say it's because your old bullies are there. If that's the reason she gives them, I can't see why they would "Too bad, you're going there anyway." (Although anything is possible in the American education system these days ) But I think you can have a say to your school, you just need to give in some effort ^^

 

I really doubt they would let me if I asked or anything since the reason they're moving the program is to get more students over there at the other school. So the more kids they can force over there, the better

I really doubt they would let me if I asked or anything since the reason they're moving the program is to get more students over there at the other school. So the more kids they can force over there, the better

 

It can't hurt to try

I like turtles.

^{Well it's good to see that after suffering like you have, things are finally getting better.}

 

^{First, about your relationship, it's really good to see that you're finally accepting yourself, since you've said that at the beginning you weren't sure about doing some things. But now that feeling has disappeared. What matter the most to you is be with who you love, and not what the people think. That's awesome. Some people aren't that courageous. But it's good to see that you are}

 

^{About your school, it's good to see that after having years of bad experiences, you're finally happy at school. About changing schools, I guess we can't foresee the future, and just carry on. If you are forced, then try to face it hoping good things, and not that these bad times are about to return (:}

 

^{I'm passing through a difficult situation about schools too... You see, I've been in my school for 10 years, but now, I've passed in an exam that can allow me to go to another school. I still have to do the second part, but that school is truly awesome. I don't really have many friends at my school, but just by thinking that I may go out next year, I feel like I'll miss it if it happens. I'm still not sure about what to do.}

It can't hurt to try

 

Well, I actually did kind of what you suggested. I told my parents that I refused to move schools and they're going to help me stay at my current one, yay

 

I like turtles.

 

water u doin get out

 

^{Well it's good to see that after suffering like you have, things are finally getting better.}

 

^{First, about your relationship, it's really good to see that you're finally accepting yourself, since you've said that at the beginning you weren't sure about doing some things. But now that feeling has disappeared. What matter the most to you is be with who you love, and not what the people think. That's awesome. Some people aren't that courageous. But it's good to see that you are}

 

^{About your school, it's good to see that after having years of bad experiences, you're finally happy at school. About changing schools, I guess we can't foresee the future, and just carry on. If you are forced, then try to face it hoping good things, and not that these bad times are about to return (:}

 

^{I'm passing through a difficult situation about schools too... You see, I've been in my school for 10 years, but now, I've passed in an exam that can allow me to go to another school. I still have to do the second part, but that school is truly awesome. I don't really have many friends at my school, but just by thinking that I may go out next year, I feel like I'll miss it if it happens. I'm still not sure about what to do.}

 

Thanks!

I think you should do whatever feels right haha

Well, at least you and your girlfriend are happy. (:

 

On the note about school, if they try and transfer you, you can get a special exemption to stay at your school. They built a new high school where I live and were transferring kids from the old one to the new one. A lot of the kids didn't want to leave, though, and applied for special exemptions. They were allowed to stay (if they applied), so maybe that would work?

 

I think you're pretty the way you look now, but I can understand how it feels not to be happy with your body, and it's good you're taking things into your own hands.

 

I'm sorry about your Mom. She should be a little more observant and understanding of how her children feel. At least you're trying to fix the situation. That's better than can be said for them.

 

I hope everything turns out alright, Koko. (:

Happy news: I can stay at my school. They're allowing us to stay, I just have to drop out of the program and get in the pathway which isn't a big deal, so yay~