Hello everyone, after being off of the site for well over many months my longing finally drew me back once again. I hope no one minds, if I practice a bit of my old writing skills for some commentary and criticism. This is for a novel i'm planning on, but I need to catch up to my muse. Please comment, this is on the spot as it always has been
You hear footsteps on the anonymous wooden floor which occasionally creaks at frequent or constant tempos. The air is sweaty, musky, rotten, foggy-yet it is transparent. Leather boots slamming and crashing louder and louder as they gallop their hosts across dirty floor. It is nightfall only the moon hasn't risen. This is a bridge, not a safe one at that. Yet there must be more than one man rushing across it tonight, desperate a fool they could be, or determined foolishless-ly. A bridge over black water as shade as a Raven's feathers and as ominous as the bridge that conquers it.
2 men, two boys-actually-dash through a fenced bridge as old as a cent'. What could be so frightening about a river? Or is it the bridge itself? Or is it the land in which houses both? Boys no older than 16 and 17, garbed in soft clothing, the younger sprouts a trimmed beard and long hair down to past his shoulders, the elder fashions shorter hair down to his chin which is shaven clean. The older tan, the younger pale. Halt as they did nay two feet away from a fierce dragon that lies asleep at the end-side of the bridge. A serpent-like body with pale scales and hair as gray as age. The dragon awoke at once in front of the two boys, as if by sense or inner instinct. Its eyes shined a vibrant Aquamarine, its fangs white as snow and tongue as bright and textured as gold. Any dragon would have attacked right then and there, but not this dragon, whom even feels from a distance as if to no harm come to those around it.
"Speak dearly my children." spoke the dragon, its voice as echoing as if through a cave or from a great height, and rhythmic as the waves.
"Beloved Moon, could you not cast your light on this world tonight? What ails ye O great spirit of night?" said the younger boy, seeming not afraid or troubled by any way at the beast's appearance.
"I do face much trouble my children. I would shine for you, as it pleases my very happiness and destiny, yet to my discourage, there is my old rival the Sun whom chases me day after day. I beg for peace yet he does not listen, he blinds himself as he blinds us all with an impure light these years." Spoke the dragon with the pale scales, a mournful humm resonated from within his throat as he ended his speech of distress.
"Great Moon, we shall see to it that the Sun be brought to justice for his blind anger." spoke the elder brother. And so the Moon was pleased and hid underneath the bridge as morning dawned on the two brothers, whom slept on the bridge itself for the night, protected by the Moon.
When they crossed the bridge and walked to the tallest mountain peak in the province, they only stared at the sky and the clouds. This was the Sun's favorite mountain for it was taller than the rest, and no soul dare to stand on it un-invited for fear of death. The two boys each waited patiently till a burning wind rushed from the east and in came the Sun, in the form of a mighty dragon with bronze scales, wings as large as a house each, eyes like polished garnet, teeth as black as night and a tongue as dark as if coated with dark blue sapphires. As he landed, the Sun almost knocked down both boys with its fierce wind.
Hello everyone, after being off of the site for well over many months my longing finally drew me back once again. I hope no one minds, if I practice a bit of my old writing skills for some commentary and criticism. This is for a novel i'm planning on, but I need to catch up to my muse. Please comment, this is on the spot as it always has been
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You hear footsteps on the anonymous wooden floor which occasionally creaks at frequent or constant tempos. The air is sweaty, musky, rotten, foggy-yet it is transparent. Leather boots slamming and crashing louder and louder as they gallop their hosts across dirty floor. It is nightfall only the moon hasn't risen. This is a bridge, not a safe one at that. Yet there must be more than one man rushing across it tonight, desperate a fool they could be, or determined foolishless-ly. A bridge over black water as shade as a Raven's feathers and as ominous as the bridge that conquers it.
2 men, two boys-actually-dash through a fenced bridge as old as a cent'. What could be so frightening about a river? Or is it the bridge itself? Or is it the land in which houses both? Boys no older than 16 and 17, garbed in soft clothing, the younger sprouts a trimmed beard and long hair down to past his shoulders, the elder fashions shorter hair down to his chin which is shaven clean. The older tan, the younger pale. Halt as they did nay two feet away from a fierce dragon that lies asleep at the end-side of the bridge. A serpent-like body with pale scales and hair as gray as age. The dragon awoke at once in front of the two boys, as if by sense or inner instinct. Its eyes shined a vibrant Aquamarine, its fangs white as snow and tongue as bright and textured as gold. Any dragon would have attacked right then and there, but not this dragon, whom even feels from a distance as if to no harm come to those around it.
"Speak dearly my children." spoke the dragon, its voice as echoing as if through a cave or from a great height, and rhythmic as the waves.
"Beloved Moon, could you not cast your light on this world tonight? What ails ye O great spirit of night?" said the younger boy, seeming not afraid or troubled by any way at the beast's appearance.
"I do face much trouble my children. I would shine for you, as it pleases my very happiness and destiny, yet to my discourage, there is my old rival the Sun whom chases me day after day. I beg for peace yet he does not listen, he blinds himself as he blinds us all with an impure light these years." Spoke the dragon with the pale scales, a mournful humm resonated from within his throat as he ended his speech of distress.
"Great Moon, we shall see to it that the Sun be brought to justice for his blind anger." spoke the elder brother. And so the Moon was pleased and hid underneath the bridge as morning dawned on the two brothers, whom slept on the bridge itself for the night, protected by the Moon.
When they crossed the bridge and walked to the tallest mountain peak in the province, they only stared at the sky and the clouds. This was the Sun's favorite mountain for it was taller than the rest, and no soul dare to stand on it un-invited for fear of death. The two boys each waited patiently till a burning wind rushed from the east and in came the Sun, in the form of a mighty dragon with bronze scales, wings as large as a house each, eyes like polished garnet, teeth as black as night and a tongue as dark as if coated with dark blue sapphires. As he landed, the Sun almost knocked down both boys with its fierce wind.
"Who trespasses?" Commanded the mighty Sun.
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This is, I guess, the first half if the shirt story that i've made up, if I get enough good reviews, i'll complete it. But it doesn't look that good.