Okay, this is going to be a long story but it's necessary because just firetruck I don't know what to do.

 

Okay, so I have a group of 4 close friends, my clique I guess in middle school, but only 3 are really important in this. I'll refer to them as A, C, and E.

When we all got into highschool, I decided to go to a different school while they went to the same one.

We kind of stayed in touch freshmen year, not much but this year we've made a bigger effort to meet up and hang out. But by we, I mean A, C and myself.

Recently, we got in a discussion about E and it was revealed to me that she changed a lot.

She's become stuck up and rude and completely insults and degrades A. She makes fun of her to the point where it's not just a joke she can laugh off, it actually is making her feel like shit and makes her angry and A is not one to be angered easily. Her change in attitude has also made so many people that used to think she was a good friend, hate her basically. As well, she has been threatening to cut herself and such.

C has noticed this change in her personality too as well as the fact that E is super clingy to her ex who I will call J.

No one but C had known beforehand, we had to beg her to tell us because she had promised E not to, but the reason for her clingyness is that E and J had sex when they were still going out. So because of this, it's kind of expected that E clung to him and she buys him everything and flirts with him still even though he has told her he does intend to get back together with her.

Now, J had been basically in love with A and although A didn't return the feelings, she feels that that's why E is treating her like shit.

We decided that we needed to talk to her about this and tell her that she needed to stop clinging to J and that she was turning into a bitch and that she was basically ruining our groups friendship. An intervention basically. We agreed not to bring up her having sex with J unless she brought it up herself because A and I weren't supposed to know, but we were intending to get it out of her.

And that was the plan but

I got a call from A just minutes ago, and I have no idea what was happening but she explained that they kind of started to intervene, without me being present, even though we all agreed that it'd be best if I started it since I haven't been around and she wouldn't think I was just being biased, since if C started it, she'd think she was siding with A and if A said anything, E wouldn't listen.

Well they got in the discussion, E told A about the sex thing, and they didn't know what to do, they didn't know what to say and they wanted me to go over because E was going to leave soon and they needed me to talk to her. Not only that, but because E told A what happened between her and J, E told J that she told and now (from what I could understand while A was crying on the phone) J was getting mad at A for something or other and she is just a complete mess.

I couldn't go and help and I felt so useless and I felt so bad but now we've agreed to meet up tomorrow at the park by my house but I have no idea what to say.

I don't want to lose my friend E and neither does A or C but it's quite possible we might.

I don't know what to say or do. If I don't fix the bullshit, A and E will hate each other and cause a tear in our group and I'm sorry to say, but me and C will definitely stay with A. And if I don't handle it properly, E might hate me as well.

And just

god ewfwe

That is really complicated. D: I don't know these people as well as you, so my advice might not work.

I would say try to be the middle ground tomorrow. A and E are probably going to fuming and possibly fighting with each other, and they're going to expect you to take a side. Even though you agree with A, try to be sympathetic to E, because you don't want to lose her friendship. If possible, once you've gotten any sort of discussion out of the way, try to get all of you to do something together and avoid any discussion about J. You could go bowling, ice skating, get ice cream--really anything. If you were all once really tight, maybe just hanging out together like everything was like it used to be would help them get over their problems with each other. I really don't know what else to say, that really sucks babe. It seriously sounds like J just needs to be removed from all of your lives.

Okay, this is going to be a long story but it's necessary because just firetruck I don't know what to do.

 

Okay, so I have a group of 4 close friends, my clique I guess in middle school, but only 3 are really important in this. I'll refer to them as A, C, and E.

When we all got into highschool, I decided to go to a different school while they went to the same one.

We kind of stayed in touch freshmen year, not much but this year we've made a bigger effort to meet up and hang out. But by we, I mean A, C and myself.

Recently, we got in a discussion about E and it was revealed to me that she changed a lot.

She's become stuck up and rude and completely insults and degrades A. She makes fun of her to the point where it's not just a joke she can laugh off, it actually is making her feel like shit and makes her angry and A is not one to be angered easily. Her change in attitude has also made so many people that used to think she was a good friend, hate her basically. As well, she has been threatening to cut herself and such.

C has noticed this change in her personality too as well as the fact that E is super clingy to her ex who I will call J.

No one but C had known beforehand, we had to beg her to tell us because she had promised E not to, but the reason for her clingyness is that E and J had sex when they were still going out. So because of this, it's kind of expected that E clung to him and she buys him everything and flirts with him still even though he has told her he does intend to get back together with her.

Now, J had been basically in love with A and although A didn't return the feelings, she feels that that's why E is treating her like shit.

We decided that we needed to talk to her about this and tell her that she needed to stop clinging to J and that she was turning into a bitch and that she was basically ruining our groups friendship. An intervention basically. We agreed not to bring up her having sex with J unless she brought it up herself because A and I weren't supposed to know, but we were intending to get it out of her.

And that was the plan but

I got a call from A just minutes ago, and I have no idea what was happening but she explained that they kind of started to intervene, without me being present, even though we all agreed that it'd be best if I started it since I haven't been around and she wouldn't think I was just being biased, since if C started it, she'd think she was siding with A and if A said anything, E wouldn't listen.

Well they got in the discussion, E told A about the sex thing, and they didn't know what to do, they didn't know what to say and they wanted me to go over because E was going to leave soon and they needed me to talk to her. Not only that, but because E told A what happened between her and J, E told J that she told and now (from what I could understand while A was crying on the phone) J was getting mad at A for something or other and she is just a complete mess.

I couldn't go and help and I felt so useless and I felt so bad but now we've agreed to meet up tomorrow at the park by my house but I have no idea what to say.

I don't want to lose my friend E and neither does A or C but it's quite possible we might.

I don't know what to say or do. If I don't fix the bullshit, A and E will hate each other and cause a tear in our group and I'm sorry to say, but me and C will definitely stay with A. And if I don't handle it properly, E might hate me as well.

And just

god ewfwe

 

Okay, Koko, you are a very confident woman. If E continues to act like this, then she obviously isn't a good friend.

best thing to do is to not take sides, just be honest with them. if you think one of them is being stupid on one point, but you think they are right on another point then tell them. its hard to help you out because its complicated and i dont know any of you, so i hope what little advice i could provide helps in any way possible.

Okay, Koko, you are a very confident woman. If E continues to act like this, then she obviously isn't a good friend.

 

What you don't understand is that I've been through a lot with A, C, and E.

They were the ones that got me through self harm.

They were the ones that kept me from killing myself.

They were always there for me and were always there to help.

And my greatest fear is to lose any of them.

I'm not confident at all right now I'm just scared of losing one of them.

What you don't understand is that I've been through a lot with A, C, and E.

They were the ones that got me through self harm.

They were the ones that kept me from killing myself.

They were always there for me and were always there to help.

And my greatest fear is to lose any of them.

I'm not confident at all right now I'm just scared of losing one of them.

 

I know. It was like that with my friend. But he changed. He became rude, skipped classes, and stayed like that. He's still like that. You just have to let go.

I know. It was like that with my friend. But he changed. He became rude, skipped classes, and stayed like that. He's still like that. You just have to let go.

 

I think it's a bit harder than just letting go when you've been friends with the same people for so long. It's hard to just break that connection.

With handling E, make sure you dont jump on her, accuse her, or treat her like a bad guy. When you shove at someone, they will naturally want to shove back. You want to keep her in the conversation without her feeling like shes being attacked.

Also, keep an open mind. It can be easy to hate the person who acts stuck up and rude, but these behaviors can be from other things. She may be really stressed and going through stuff that is causing her to act this way. If you find the source of the problem and work to fix that, then the behavior will slowly go away.

And thats another thing. This may not fix everything immediately. Relationships take work, whether their with friends, family, or lovers. If all of you care for each other and want to make it work, you can. It takes work for nothing fixes itself.

 

Good luck

i understand it is hard to let a friend go. i have three friends that i consider my brothers. i would hate to think of what would happen if i was to lose one of them. but, unfortunately people change and if one of them was to change i would try my best to talk to them, although that might not be enough. in the end people have their own minds and make their own decisions. if E feels like you guys are wrong, she might not want to be friends any more. i know it sucks, but just remember that you still have A and C. it sounds to me like they'll be there with you for a while

It's a hard choice. But I agree, don't take sides, try to mediate. You can still be friends with E even if she isn't friends with A and C. And if either party "doesn't allow" you to be the other's friend, than that party isn't really worth your time.

 

People change. My middle school friend became a druggie. My elementary school BF became a druggie. My other BF became jelous of me and began to ignore me. People change. You have to realize that letting, hypothetically, E go is not forsaking the friend that stayed by you during your problems, it is letting a dangerous influence out of your life. E may or may not be the same person still.

 

But since it sounds like E was part of helping you through hard times, you should try to make an effort to help her, even if A and C don't agree.

Okay, let me clarify, A and C do not want to lose E as a friend as much as I do, the conflict is mainly between A and E and how E treats her and how she acts towards her.

My major problem is to not firetruck up whenever we do talk to her and not have anyone freak out or have fight and etc.

I've already been made the designated mediator by everyone.

I'm thinking of just having A tell E how she feels and vice versa and just mediate to make sure neither interrupts and then just go from there

I'm thinking of just having A tell E how she feels and vice versa and just mediate to make sure neither interrupts and then just go from there

 

I say a good belt is always useful for that... Wah ha ha!

 

No good for a laugh, okay, serious time...

 

This sounds like a good plan. I'd make sure J isn't present, or that might ruin the whole thing.