Beware of tons of curse words since I need to let this out:

 

This is about what I dealt with in Lunch (and others as well) and how I need to rant since I couldn't do it for many reasons in front of her.

 

First Ill give fake names to people:

 

Stace

Xing

Dane

Carol

Mali

Trace

 

Now for my rant:

 

Okay so at the beggining of Lunch this girl we sit with, Dane, started coming in crying. We stopped our conversation about Mali's cousin getting caught smoking in the bathroom and turned to ask what is going on. Well, she kept on crying and crying while I thought to my self "What happened this time?" Carol kept on asking her "Want me to tell them?" over 50x till she gave a clear answer. Xing went into another table, and I was confused why.

 

Now is the shit that begins:

 

Someone told her we were saying shit about her behind her back. Mali responded "Thats a lie we dont say shit behind your back." Then me and Stace looked at each other then continued the conversation. Carol now asked if she wants her to tell what the firetruck she said to her best friend, Trace. The bitch did not answer shit and began to cry even more, and Carol told us in a serious yet angry tone of voice, "She told Trace that I was bisexual." Now I was like, "why the firetruck did you ask her to tell us this?" But I did not say anything.

 

We got history here..

 

Trace has a big mouth, meaning she is going to probably tell everyone. When it comes to sexual orrientation in our school, the kids act so cruel and mean to those people that it isn't even funny. I got so pissed when that happened. Another reason why she is pissed is how those (what my friends call them) bitches are scared of her in the firetrucking locker room because they think she is going to rape them and go down on them.

 

Dane began to cry and cry even more. Now it gets worse on what Mali said.

 

"WTF YOU STUPID BITCH! WHY THE firetruck DID YOU SAY THAT! AND WE DONT TALK SHIT AT ALL YOU DUMB BITCH! WE TELL THE DAMN TRUTH! DO YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU? I THINK YOUR ONE ANNOYING BITCH WHO IS SO firetruckING NOSY AS HELL AND A GIGANTIC HYPOCRITE! YOU TALK SHIT BEHIND firetruckING STACE SAYING SHE IS ANNOYING AS HELL BUT THEN 5 MINUTES LATER YOUR ALL LIKE, 'OMG STACE YOUR SOOO FUNNY', LIKE WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

 

I was laughing my ass off, because it was true. Cruel but true.

 

 

Then Dane started to cry and cry even more saying:

 

"I SAID I AM SORRY! I DIDN'T WANT TO TELL HER AT ALL! SHE KEPT ON ASKING ME AND ASKING ME 50X BUT SHE WOULDN'T STOP SO I TOLD HER! I HATE HAVING SO MUCH PRESSURE ON!"

 

Mali continued

 

"REALLY? YOUR THE ONE WHO KEPT ON MAKING FUN OF HER CALLING HER BI! LIKE WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!? DONT YOU KNOW WE ALL HATE HOW THE firetruck YOU ACT AND HOW ANNOYING YOU ARE? WE DONT TALK SHIT! WE JUST TRY TO GET OUR ANGER OUT BY TALKING TO EACH OTHER ABOUT IT SO YOU DON'T CRY!"

 

The thing was, that Dane always does this, she does something horrible and gets everyone pissed. If people find out, she starts to cry and beg for forgiveness. She always does this, and this time it went too far. She is in a depression, so I didn't say anything.

 

Mali began to leave, while people came over to listen and we all tell them to firetruck off. Mali made the situation worse, which pissed us off, but not as much as what Dane did. Mali was so sick of it, she went to each table telling them everything that happened. I got pissed at her for doing that, because it was so uneccasary.

 

Dane cried and cried ever more. Then she started begging for forgiveness and Carol denied it since she gone too far. She said this:

 

"IM SORRY OKAY? I DIDN'T TAKE MY PILL TODAY SO THATS WHY I AM LIKE THIS! IM IN A DEPRESSION AND I CANT TAKE THAT MUCH PRESSURE!"

 

Stace got angry and said:

 

."Look I am in a depression and you know that. I cant take any pressure at all! I know how you feel but this is too far, not even I will do that. Its not your depressions fault its yours only. You brought yourself into this!"

 

Dani said:

 

"I SAID IM SORRY! WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? I ALMOST COMMITTED SUICIDE BECAUSE OF HOW PEOPLE TREATED ME!"

 

I felt a little bad, but I still got pissed. Since she was being such a hypocrite at that time.

 

Xing in the meanwhile is trying to ward off people from coming towards the table.

 

Stace responded:

 

"Are you serious? You cut yourself like I used too! Not only that, you almost committed suicide. I attempted it and I was stuck in the emergancy room in the hospital since I almost died. Did you know how I felt? How people call me a bitch and a slut as well? And you dont see me saying shit about people and depressing my self!"

 

Dane:

 

"BUT I TAKE PILLS! YOU JUST GO TO A STUPID THERAPY SESSION!"

 

Stace:

 

"What?! I go to that and get help unlike you trying to get yourself happy off of pills! I try to help and I am practically your only friend in this class. I want to be your friend, but you annoy me and act so rude and like a bitch that I cant even stand you anymore. I am still your friend, but if you continue like this then too bad. Now let me take you to the guidance counselor."

 

Dane:

 

"AND? I WANT TO GO ALONE!"

 

Stace:

 

"I know your going to do something stupid, trust me I know. Your going to attempt to commit suicide."

 

So far it repeated all over again while me and Xing are warding off others.

 

Let me tell you what I was going to say, and also give you history on her past and mine:

 

I was going to tell her she could overcome her depression. Also I have no idea why she is in it the first firetrucking place. During elementary her and others gave my life hell making fun of me until the point I cried. She acted all that, a total bitch and a snob. She sucked up to everyone and annoyed the crap out of me. She hated me and thought I was boring without getting the change to know me. And then guess what? During 6th grade everyone started to dislike her (new school). No one wanted to be her friend for the same reason. I was still a little shy as heck, but I came around and became some how popular. Now some how she went through a depression because of this. It pisses me off because she just got the taste of her own firetrucking medicine and instead of knowing she did the same thing and I am pretty sure she deserved it. But like they said, no one deserves any punishment. That does not apply here tho >_>

 

I went through a depression. I even had suicidal thoughts, and in order to over come it wasn't to have pills or go to therapy, it was to find something that makes me so much happier and have friends who truly care. This site made me a lot happier in so much ways I could not believe that the internet could help me. I am not sure I am over my depression, but I am pretty sure I overcame it. Also I have been called a slut, a bitch, a lesbian and a tons of other things all over again, and none of those are true. I don't cry though, I just bottle up all my tears and anger inside of myself. But I don't cut my self or even attempted to commit suicide. I had thoughts about it, but never attempted. I accidently once cut my self and lost a lot of blood, causing me to faint on the floor. They almost call the ambulance, but with my mom's ways of healing and making me awake, she saved me from blood loss (i don't know how) After that, I never had suicidal thoughts or ever had thoughts about even cutting. Since I already noticed how it is to "die", i'm sure I am not doing it.

 

I had arguments with my mom a lot. She gives me a hard time, calls me a slut and a bitch as well. Also she once said Im better off dead. She said I will never succeed in life, and I will live in the streets. But at the same time, she loves me and I still love her. We have a big family secret, and this gigantic secret really helped me understood what was going around in my life. I hated that secret, it was horrible, and what my grandmother did to my mom was unforgivable. It sounds like a fairytale, but I am not sure if I should say it now.

 

I think I will explain.

 

My mom is part Indian, Japanese and Brittish (its official now)

My dad is part Mexican, Dominican and Indian (as well, I cant believe I wasn't told this)

 

Basically, in India arrange marriages happen.

When my dad visited India, he got married to my mother. Both of their families are rich in India. Practically my dad's grandmother, (We will call Gragra, made up weird name) Gragra, basically owned a mansion that looks like a castle. My mom had to go live in Gragra's home like every wife in the relationship (Gender stereotypes and roles...). The thing is, Gragra had like 10 sons and 1 daughter. So all the sons have wives, basically working for her. The men go do work and get money, while the women clean and cook for everyone. Gragra and her daughter (I will call Sheva) Sheva, Gragra wanted to have power over the extended family, while sitting on her ass all day doing nothing. My mom was pissed and said she would not sit down and do shit for her because she doesn't deserve it. Basically she talked to the other wives, they were too scared to do anything about it, while my mom was brave enough to do something. The men get drunk and beat up their wives, that's what happens. She couldn't stand this shit so she went ahead and talked back against Gragra. Gragra got so pissed and imprisoned her. Of course my dad got angry, and asked to let her go. She didn't let her go for a while. After she got released out of her dungeon, she basically fled to her village with her newborn son (my older brother). My dad came as well. Gragra and Sheva got angry and demanded revenge. The wives sat back doing nothing while the husbands continued their work. My mom gotten better and told her father and mother about it, and they hated her guts. My dad acted like a jerk while their time in that. My mom's dad kicked him out for some time saying, "If your going to marry my daughter than you better act like a true man!" My dad came back, begged for forgiveness each time, and they let him in at one point. Gragra and Sheva in the meanwhile, hired a black magician (search it up to know what it means). They asked this black magician to put a curse on my mom, and this black magician succeeded. This made my mother very ill, almost died. They quickly gathered all the money to go to America, since they couldn't find any help here. One of the families under Gragra's control, ran away as well. They gave their sick son to my dad, thinking to get him well. They gotten to America, and got my mom and the boy into the hospital. Days passed till the results came in. My mom was cured very much. But the boy, he died. We later found out, Gragra's black magician killed the boy, since the family ran away from them. Gragra was pleased of the boys result, but was severely angered that my mom was alive. Later on, my dad was angry at my mom. Saying why he died. My mom said "It wasn't our fault, we don't know what happened!" He took all his anger out on her and hated her from that day, saying his life messed up when they got married. Later in the years, I was born. My mom adored me, and said to take care of me a lot. My dad, he hated me, thinking I replaced that boy. He abused me and yelled at me when I was just a small kid. He also abused my mom while my brother stood their watching depressingly. Gragra attacked again, this time with a disability. She basically asked the black magician to paralyze her. Sadly, this worked as well. My mom was paralyzed for 2 months in, while the doctors couldn't find out what happened. My mom then figured out it was Gragra again. Her paralysis gotten better and better, and now she can walk but with a can. My dad felt bad, but he thinks she is faking it for no reason. Gragra's final move, was to give us bad luck. All the shit that happens to me for no reason, its because of the black magician. Heck I even saw this magician and Gragra when my trip to India, and I hated her. Gragra wanted us dead, so she sent her sons around NY just to hunt us down. I don't know if its true, but I've seen it. Gragra wants me mostly, the reason why my mom wont trust me to stay outside and need to be guarded. I don't understand why me, but she wants me, I was told that. This created hatred between my family. My mom got paranoia, and now her paralysis is almost gone due to the acts of the gurus (they told her who it was and it was Gragra), so she is superstitious, and she doesn't trust anyone. Everyone who we tell this too, stays away from us thinking were bad luck. I don't believe we are, and I hope we aren't. Now were not sure whats going on, but right now, its getting better.

 

I got made fun of ever since first grade, and I am still being made fun of. People dont understand and when people say they hate their mom it pisses me off. You cant hate your mom, you can only hate a person on the way they do things. I hate the way my mom communicates with me and makes me feel down. I dont hate Dane at all. Carol even yelled at her telling her everything and how she feels about her. She gone to the guidance counselor, and also to one of the deans.

 

This whole rant, came into a dramatic part of my life now. Sorry Dx

 

The thing is, when people have a depression over things like this, its really understandable. But I hate it when they dont listen, and they become self centered thinking they have the worse. I try to help people like this, like I did with Stace. So if someone says they care about me or say i love you, it makes me happy, really happy since I know people care about me. But I am not sure I can run away from this.

 

I feel bad for Dane. She could have been a better friend if she lets go of those bad habits and try to get off the pill and get some help. I could help her, only if she helps me.

 

Sorry again for this long passage of what happened in my life......

Of course you can't go to the police.

 

You know what you said about me not believing you? I believe you 100%.

 

I'd tell you more but it's too private so I'll tell you in a PM.

Of course you can't go to the police.

 

You know what you said about me not believing you? I believe you 100%.

 

I'd tell you more but it's too private so I'll tell you in a PM.

 

Okay thanks ^-^

 

but can you tell me what you think about this whole thing?

 

 

Okay thanks ^-^

 

but can you tell me what you think about this whole thing?

 

Could you specify?

Could you specify?

 

Okay ill break the sections down.

 

The bitch fight Lunch

 

My life and what I went through

 

What my mother went through.

*Big hug for Shana!*

 

This first post is just for the Dane thing:

 

 

The girl Dane, shes got alot of.. lets say "balls" doesn't she. You and your friends do have a right to be enraged at her.

I wonder if this girl is bi-polar?

 

Dane is a attention craver without a doubt. And she also has a split personality type of thing. She has no right to make of of Carol and her sexuality. Even if she was being pressured, its no excuse.

 

You know, i feel once some one says "I didnt take my pill and im depressed!" i kinda scream attention craver. In all honesty she might say it but i wouldnt believe it until i saw her do that, and i dont believe she is depressed. She seeks attention, and the reason why she might be "depressed" is because she lost lots of friends.

 

I can understand why you stood out of this and said nothing at the lunch and still be mad.

Maybe it was for the best because you kinda know how it feels to be depressed.

 

My opinion ignore her, she is not a good friend. If she talks shit, then go to the principle and get her in trouble. If she says "im committing suicide" dont burden yourself with it: do my approach *picks up phone-dials police department: "Hi, suicide report -gives name- thanks, hangs up* ITS the best option for you to have someone such as a social worker deal with suicide stuff then you or your friends.

 

My question is do you still want to be friends with Dane or not?

Okay ill break the sections down.

 

The bitch fight Lunch

 

My life and what I went through

 

What my mother went through.

 

Wolfgang's opinion on the bitch fight pretty much sums up what I think.

*Big hug for Shana!*

 

This first post is just for the Dane thing:

 

 

The girl Dane, shes got alot of.. lets say "balls" doesn't she. You and your friends do have a right to be enraged at her.

I wonder if this girl is bi-polar?

 

Dane is a attention craver without a doubt. And she also has a split personality type of thing. She has no right to make of of Carol and her sexuality. Even if she was being pressured, its no excuse.

 

You know, i feel once some one says "I didnt take my pill and im depressed!" i kinda scream attention craver. In all honesty she might say it but i wouldnt believe it until i saw her do that, and i dont believe she is depressed. She seeks attention, and the reason why she might be "depressed" is because she lost lots of friends.

 

I can understand why you stood out of this and said nothing at the lunch and still be mad.

Maybe it was for the best because you kinda know how it feels to be depressed.

 

My opinion ignore her, she is not a good friend. If she talks shit, then go to the principle and get her in trouble. If she says "im committing suicide" dont burden yourself with it: do my approach *picks up phone-dials police department: "Hi, suicide report -gives name- thanks, hangs up* ITS the best option for you to have someone such as a social worker deal with suicide stuff then you or your friends.

 

My question is do you still want to be friends with Dane or not?

 

 

Im not sure, I am pretty sure I dont want to be.

I feel bad for Stace, she was technically her only friend in the class, and she is getting yelled at.

She is with the guidance counselor, and if things get worse than we cant do anything about it to stop it.

When I joined their group (10x more funner than the boys) she was a total bitch to me. She was like "Someone sits there" and they are like "Let her sit there!"

And she gave me attitude and I was like "Whatever"

When she found out I had secrets, she became more friendlier and nicer to me just to get my secrets. It pisses me off, I want to be friends with her, I forgive people, but now I am like "firetruck it", I cant forgive her what she done to others, and I am happy I did not tell her.

Okay part two:

 

Your depression and family stuff

 

Okay; I know what its like to be bullied when i was younger.. I was the short fatty kid that everyone picked on and had no friends. Now im the 6'2 fatty still but super muscular guy that no one dares shit with.. People cant handle there own medicine. Lots of people now-a-days are.. well.. pussys.

 

Im very glad your overcoming your depression.. And of course there's always people out there that would be willing to help you. Im glad you didnt commit suicide, cause you wont believe me, but literally hundreds of peoples lives would of been affected. Even me cause i would never met you!

 

When people call you names, act like your the boss and dont give a firetruck! You are you! A cute and pretty girl and guess what, you know why people are making fun of you? Its cause they be JELLY!!

 

About your mom, She may say those things but she loves you. I think she might say that because she wants to see you succeed or do the best you possible can. She doesn't mean what she says.. Love her and give her chances like she does with you, she your mom, your meant to get into fights and get mad, but doesn't mean you two have an unbreakable bond of love.

 

That story of your mom/dad/grandmother/family secrete.. is just.. wow.. I never have heard anything like that before.. Its shocking.. :c There is no such thing as bad luck! Its life and life is meant to be challenging and stupid and suck! This whole black magic thing is gonna get off. And your safe Shana, that curse wont get you..

 

And this was not a long post.. Its what you needed help with and i was glad to read and try to help

 

*hugs*

Okay part two:

 

Your depression and family stuff

 

Okay; I know what its like to be bullied when i was younger.. I was the short fatty kid that everyone picked on and had no friends. Now im the 6'2 fatty still but super muscular guy that no one dares shit with.. People cant handle there own medicine. Lots of people now-a-days are.. well.. pussys.

 

Im very glad your overcoming your depression.. And of course there's always people out there that would be willing to help you. Im glad you didnt commit suicide, cause you wont believe me, but literally hundreds of peoples lives would of been affected. Even me cause i would never met you!

 

When people call you names, act like your the boss and dont give a firetruck! You are you! A cute and pretty girl and guess what, you know why people are making fun of you? Its cause they be JELLY!!

 

About your mom, She may say those things but she loves you. I think she might say that because she wants to see you succeed or do the best you possible can. She doesn't mean what she says.. Love her and give her chances like she does with you, she your mom, your meant to get into fights and get mad, but doesn't mean you two have an unbreakable bond of love.

 

That story of your mom/dad/grandmother/family secrete.. is just.. wow.. I never have heard anything like that before.. Its shocking.. :c There is no such thing as bad luck! Its life and life is meant to be challenging and stupid and suck! This whole black magic thing is gonna get off. And your safe Shana, that curse wont get you..

 

And this was not a long post.. Its what you needed help with and i was glad to read and try to help

 

*hugs*

 

Thanks, but I do love my mom. I may hate how she reacts to some things, but overall, I love her still.

I wont let the curse get to me

Thank you~

Im not sure, I am pretty sure I dont want to be.

I feel bad for Stace, she was technically her only friend in the class, and she is getting yelled at.

She is with the guidance counselor, and if things get worse than we cant do anything about it to stop it.

When I joined their group (10x more funner than the boys) she was a total bitch to me. She was like "Someone sits there" and they are like "Let her sit there!"

And she gave me attitude and I was like "Whatever"

When she found out I had secrets, she became more friendlier and nicer to me just to get my secrets. It pisses me off, I want to be friends with her, I forgive people, but now I am like "firetruck it", I cant forgive her what she done to others, and I am happy I did not tell her.

 

Then i say ignore her its the best way. Once a bitch always a bitch.. I wouldn't want to be friends with her, she is a jerk. She is nosy and not a true friend. I say gtfo away from her

Beware of tons of curse words since I need to let this out:

 

This is about what I dealt with in Lunch (and others as well) and how I need to rant since I couldn't do it for many reasons in front of her.

 

First Ill give fake names to people:

 

Stace

Xing

Dane

Carol

Mali

Trace

 

Now for my rant:

 

Okay so at the beggining of Lunch this girl we sit with, Dane, started coming in crying. We stopped our conversation about Mali's cousin getting caught smoking in the bathroom and turned to ask what is going on. Well, she kept on crying and crying while I thought to my self "What happened this time?" Carol kept on asking her "Want me to tell them?" over 50x till she gave a clear answer. Xing went into another table, and I was confused why.

 

Now is the shit that begins:

 

Someone told her we were saying shit about her behind her back. Mali responded "Thats a lie we dont say shit behind your back." Then me and Stace looked at each other then continued the conversation. Carol now asked if she wants her to tell what the firetruck she said to her best friend, Trace. The bitch did not answer shit and began to cry even more, and Carol told us in a serious yet angry tone of voice, "She told Trace that I was bisexual." Now I was like, "why the firetruck did you ask her to tell us this?" But I did not say anything.

 

We got history here..

 

Trace has a big mouth, meaning she is going to probably tell everyone. When it comes to sexual orrientation in our school, the kids act so cruel and mean to those people that it isn't even funny. I got so pissed when that happened. Another reason why she is pissed is how those (what my friends call them) bitches are scared of her in the firetrucking locker room because they think she is going to rape them and go down on them.

 

Dane began to cry and cry even more. Now it gets worse on what Mali said.

 

"WTF YOU STUPID BITCH! WHY THE firetruck DID YOU SAY THAT! AND WE DONT TALK SHIT AT ALL YOU DUMB BITCH! WE TELL THE DAMN TRUTH! DO YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU? I THINK YOUR ONE ANNOYING BITCH WHO IS SO firetruckING NOSY AS HELL AND A GIGANTIC HYPOCRITE! YOU TALK SHIT BEHIND firetruckING STACE SAYING SHE IS ANNOYING AS HELL BUT THEN 5 MINUTES LATER YOUR ALL LIKE, 'OMG STACE YOUR SOOO FUNNY', LIKE WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

 

I was laughing my ass off, because it was true. Cruel but true.

 

 

Then Dane started to cry and cry even more saying:

 

"I SAID I AM SORRY! I DIDN'T WANT TO TELL HER AT ALL! SHE KEPT ON ASKING ME AND ASKING ME 50X BUT SHE WOULDN'T STOP SO I TOLD HER! I HATE HAVING SO MUCH PRESSURE ON!"

 

Mali continued

 

"REALLY? YOUR THE ONE WHO KEPT ON MAKING FUN OF HER CALLING HER BI! LIKE WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!? DONT YOU KNOW WE ALL HATE HOW THE firetruck YOU ACT AND HOW ANNOYING YOU ARE? WE DONT TALK SHIT! WE JUST TRY TO GET OUR ANGER OUT BY TALKING TO EACH OTHER ABOUT IT SO YOU DON'T CRY!"

 

The thing was, that Dane always does this, she does something horrible and gets everyone pissed. If people find out, she starts to cry and beg for forgiveness. She always does this, and this time it went too far. She is in a depression, so I didn't say anything.

 

Mali began to leave, while people came over to listen and we all tell them to firetruck off. Mali made the situation worse, which pissed us off, but not as much as what Dane did. Mali was so sick of it, she went to each table telling them everything that happened. I got pissed at her for doing that, because it was so uneccasary.

 

Dane cried and cried ever more. Then she started begging for forgiveness and Carol denied it since she gone too far. She said this:

 

"IM SORRY OKAY? I DIDN'T TAKE MY PILL TODAY SO THATS WHY I AM LIKE THIS! IM IN A DEPRESSION AND I CANT TAKE THAT MUCH PRESSURE!"

 

Stace got angry and said:

 

."Look I am in a depression and you know that. I cant take any pressure at all! I know how you feel but this is too far, not even I will do that. Its not your depressions fault its yours only. You brought yourself into this!"

 

Dani said:

 

"I SAID IM SORRY! WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? I ALMOST COMMITTED SUICIDE BECAUSE OF HOW PEOPLE TREATED ME!"

 

I felt a little bad, but I still got pissed. Since she was being such a hypocrite at that time.

 

Xing in the meanwhile is trying to ward off people from coming towards the table.

 

Stace responded:

 

"Are you serious? You cut yourself like I used too! Not only that, you almost committed suicide. I attempted it and I was stuck in the emergancy room in the hospital since I almost died. Did you know how I felt? How people call me a bitch and a slut as well? And you dont see me saying shit about people and depressing my self!"

 

Dane:

 

"BUT I TAKE PILLS! YOU JUST GO TO A STUPID THERAPY SESSION!"

 

Stace:

 

"What?! I go to that and get help unlike you trying to get yourself happy off of pills! I try to help and I am practically your only friend in this class. I want to be your friend, but you annoy me and act so rude and like a bitch that I cant even stand you anymore. I am still your friend, but if you continue like this then too bad. Now let me take you to the guidance counselor."

 

Dane:

 

"AND? I WANT TO GO ALONE!"

 

Stace:

 

"I know your going to do something stupid, trust me I know. Your going to attempt to commit suicide."

 

So far it repeated all over again while me and Xing are warding off others.

 

Let me tell you what I was going to say, and also give you history on her past and mine:

 

I was going to tell her she could overcome her depression. Also I have no idea why she is in it the first firetrucking place. During elementary her and others gave my life hell making fun of me until the point I cried. She acted all that, a total bitch and a snob. She sucked up to everyone and annoyed the crap out of me. She hated me and thought I was boring without getting the change to know me. And then guess what? During 6th grade everyone started to dislike her (new school). No one wanted to be her friend for the same reason. I was still a little shy as heck, but I came around and became some how popular. Now some how she went through a depression because of this. It pisses me off because she just got the taste of her own firetrucking medicine and instead of knowing she did the same thing and I am pretty sure she deserved it. But like they said, no one deserves any punishment. That does not apply here tho >_>

 

I went through a depression. I even had suicidal thoughts, and in order to over come it wasn't to have pills or go to therapy, it was to find something that makes me so much happier and have friends who truly care. This site made me a lot happier in so much ways I could not believe that the internet could help me. I am not sure I am over my depression, but I am pretty sure I overcame it. Also I have been called a slut, a bitch, a lesbian and a tons of other things all over again, and none of those are true. I don't cry though, I just bottle up all my tears and anger inside of myself. But I don't cut my self or even attempted to commit suicide. I had thoughts about it, but never attempted. I accidently once cut my self and lost a lot of blood, causing me to faint on the floor. They almost call the ambulance, but with my mom's ways of healing and making me awake, she saved me from blood loss (i don't know how) After that, I never had suicidal thoughts or ever had thoughts about even cutting. Since I already noticed how it is to "die", i'm sure I am not doing it.

 

I had arguments with my mom a lot. She gives me a hard time, calls me a slut and a bitch as well. Also she once said Im better off dead. She said I will never succeed in life, and I will live in the streets. But at the same time, she loves me and I still love her. We have a big family secret, and this gigantic secret really helped me understood what was going around in my life. I hated that secret, it was horrible, and what my grandmother did to my mom was unforgivable. It sounds like a fairytale, but I am not sure if I should say it now.

 

I think I will explain.

 

My mom is part Indian, Japanese and Brittish (its official now)

My dad is part Mexican, Dominican and Indian (as well, I cant believe I wasn't told this)

 

Basically, in India arrange marriages happen.

When my dad visited India, he got married to my mother. Both of their families are rich in India. Practically my dad's grandmother, (We will call Gragra, made up weird name) Gragra, basically owned a mansion that looks like a castle. My mom had to go live in Gragra's home like every wife in the relationship (Gender stereotypes and roles...). The thing is, Gragra had like 10 sons and 1 daughter. So all the sons have wives, basically working for her. The men go do work and get money, while the women clean and cook for everyone. Gragra and her daughter (I will call Sheva) Sheva, Gragra wanted to have power over the extended family, while sitting on her ass all day doing nothing. My mom was pissed and said she would not sit down and do shit for her because she doesn't deserve it. Basically she talked to the other wives, they were too scared to do anything about it, while my mom was brave enough to do something. The men get drunk and beat up their wives, that's what happens. She couldn't stand this shit so she went ahead and talked back against Gragra. Gragra got so pissed and imprisoned her. Of course my dad got angry, and asked to let her go. She didn't let her go for a while. After she got released out of her dungeon, she basically fled to her village with her newborn son (my older brother). My dad came as well. Gragra and Sheva got angry and demanded revenge. The wives sat back doing nothing while the husbands continued their work. My mom gotten better and told her father and mother about it, and they hated her guts. My dad acted like a jerk while their time in that. My mom's dad kicked him out for some time saying, "If your going to marry my daughter than you better act like a true man!" My dad came back, begged for forgiveness each time, and they let him in at one point. Gragra and Sheva in the meanwhile, hired a black magician (search it up to know what it means). They asked this black magician to put a curse on my mom, and this black magician succeeded. This made my mother very ill, almost died. They quickly gathered all the money to go to America, since they couldn't find any help here. One of the families under Gragra's control, ran away as well. They gave their sick son to my dad, thinking to get him well. They gotten to America, and got my mom and the boy into the hospital. Days passed till the results came in. My mom was cured very much. But the boy, he died. We later found out, Gragra's black magician killed the boy, since the family ran away from them. Gragra was pleased of the boys result, but was severely angered that my mom was alive. Later on, my dad was angry at my mom. Saying why he died. My mom said "It wasn't our fault, we don't know what happened!" He took all his anger out on her and hated her from that day, saying his life messed up when they got married. Later in the years, I was born. My mom adored me, and said to take care of me a lot. My dad, he hated me, thinking I replaced that boy. He abused me and yelled at me when I was just a small kid. He also abused my mom while my brother stood their watching depressingly. Gragra attacked again, this time with a disability. She basically asked the black magician to paralyze her. Sadly, this worked as well. My mom was paralyzed for 2 months in, while the doctors couldn't find out what happened. My mom then figured out it was Gragra again. Her paralysis gotten better and better, and now she can walk but with a can. My dad felt bad, but he thinks she is faking it for no reason. Gragra's final move, was to give us bad luck. All the shit that happens to me for no reason, its because of the black magician. Heck I even saw this magician and Gragra when my trip to India, and I hated her. Gragra wanted us dead, so she sent her sons around NY just to hunt us down. I don't know if its true, but I've seen it. Gragra wants me mostly, the reason why my mom wont trust me to stay outside and need to be guarded. I don't understand why me, but she wants me, I was told that. This created hatred between my family. My mom got paranoia, and now her paralysis is almost gone due to the acts of the gurus (they told her who it was and it was Gragra), so she is superstitious, and she doesn't trust anyone. Everyone who we tell this too, stays away from us thinking were bad luck. I don't believe we are, and I hope we aren't. Now were not sure whats going on, but right now, its getting better.

 

I got made fun of ever since first grade, and I am still being made fun of. People dont understand and when people say they hate their mom it pisses me off. You cant hate your mom, you can only hate a person on the way they do things. I hate the way my mom communicates with me and makes me feel down. I dont hate Dane at all. Carol even yelled at her telling her everything and how she feels about her. She gone to the guidance counselor, and also to one of the deans.

 

This whole rant, came into a dramatic part of my life now. Sorry Dx

 

The thing is, when people have a depression over things like this, its really understandable. But I hate it when they dont listen, and they become self centered thinking they have the worse. I try to help people like this, like I did with Stace. So if someone says they care about me or say i love you, it makes me happy, really happy since I know people care about me. But I am not sure I can run away from this.

 

I feel bad for Dane. She could have been a better friend if she lets go of those bad habits and try to get off the pill and get some help. I could help her, only if she helps me.

 

Sorry again for this long passage of what happened in my life......

 

How do you PM? I want to tell you somethings. (And yes, i believe you completely)

How do you PM? I want to tell you somethings. (And yes, i believe you completely)

 

There is a mail-looking icon called messenger next to the notifications icon.

Wow. This sounds like something I would read in a book, it just sounds so unreal, but don't worry I believe you.

 

Okay, let me basically sum up what I think.

 

1. Dane is not a good person. If she's being all rude to you before she even gets to know you, and then learns you have secrets and then treats you like her best friend, DO NOT BE HER FRIEND. She will just try and learn all your secrets, dump you, and then blackmail you later for something.

 

2. About the whole curse thing, just, wow. But know this, Gragra does NOT control your life. If she put a curse on your family, wel firetruck it. In my opinion, that curse will only work if you let it work. Bad things happen to everyone, we are only human. Whether its just another bad thing or a curse is up to you to decide.

 

3. That whole 'I didn't take my pills!' thing makes me want to scream. Well too bad! They should've taken they're crappy pills!

 

4. I don't think you're mom should call you those things, that's just awful. She shouldn't say anything like that to you under any circumstance, espically in this period of your life. But don't give up on her.

 

Thats all! Also, I'm glad this site made you feel better! We'll always be here for you! *hugs*

You know what I realized Shana? You say, "Family secret, don't share," on a public forum. It's inappropriate to lol but I can't help it.

You know what I realized Shana? You say, "Family secret, don't share," on a public forum. It's inappropriate to lol but I can't help it.

 

true...

but I meant dont share onto other sites.

wow..i cried while reading this this...T-T http://kh13.com/forum/public/style_emoticons/default/smiley-cry.png ..(hope you get better)

I can't speak much about most of this, but I hope you the best. It sounds like you've had it rough, but life will perk up. You already sound like you're making leaps and bounds. Just pulling attention to one little thing...

 

I went through a depression. I even had suicidal thoughts, and in order to over come it wasn't to have pills or go to therapy, it was to find something that makes me so much happier and have friends who truly care. This site made me a lot happier in so much ways I could not believe that the internet could help me. I am not sure I am over my depression, but I am pretty sure I overcame it.

 

I understand how you feel. I can be the same way, but I've found solace in this site, and I'm giving it my all to overcome darkness depression. I just think that the future has to be better and we will see the light and that gives me hope.