can u guys give me any corrections or help expand it. thanx if u help.

The novel “To Kill a Mockingbird is a classic book full of humour and an insight of the 1930’s. This novel is also a message to say how cruel the black people were treated ever since the Jim Crow laws came into power. The story is also from a young girl’s perspective in a cruel world in the 1930’s. It is a great book which you can buy at any bookstore.

 

The story is set in a town called Maycomb located in Alabama in the 1930’s. That is the town that the protagonist lives in, her name is Scout. She is only about seven years old when the story started. She is then thrown into a world of chaos and disorder and she doesn’t even understand anything! Scout father; who is called Atticus; is a lawyer. In this story, Atticus is defending a black man, but defending the black man also cause many people from town to shun him.

 

This story is actually made based on the author’s childhood where her father also defended black people as a lawyer. When the black people her father defended were murdered, she decided to tell the world how unfair the Jim Crow laws were to the black people.

 

Personally, I liked the part where everybody in Maycomb is panicking from an evil and infected with rabies dog. Everybody was panicking so hard, they have to talk loudly. Then Atticus saved the day. He took out the dog with his sniper skills and the dog was out for the count.

 

The journey when reading this book gives you doubt on everything you know so far. It feels like you know something but it is more like the opposite. It gives the vibe that you should read more deeply or else you won’t be able to solve the mystery. This book could surely be worth your time.

 

The way how Atticus say his wise words is very true. He almost sounded like a monk. The most unforgettable and meaning full sentence is “Shoot all the bluejays you want, if you can hit ’em, but remember, it is a sin to kill a mockingbird.” That sentence tells you that you should not kill or harm an innocent creature. Bluejays eats the plants in your garden while mockingbirds sing their hearts out. Same as how people treated the black people in the past even though they are innocent.

Remember to use a , not ; and take our "that sentence tells you that" don't forget to cite the quote, unless it doesn't matter to your teacher. There's a few sentences that are worded funny. Just read over it again, slowly.

Okay, basically what I'm going to do is edit what you've written and then I'll give you some more things to talk about.

 

“To Kill a Mockingbird" is a classic novel full of life, humour and an insight into the cruel ways of the 1930’s. This novel is also a message to say how horribly the black people were treated ever since the Jim Crow laws came into power. It is a great book which you can buy at any bookstore.

 

The story is from a young girl’s perspective, as over a period of years, she experiences what the 1930's were really like. The story is set in the fictional county called Maycomb located in Alabama. This is the town that the protagonist lives in, her name is Jean Louise but she has everyone refer to herself as Scout, as she wants the status that only males can have for this time. She is only about seven years old when the story started. She is then thrown into a world of chaos and disorder and she only understands as much as those around her will tell her. Scout's father, who is called Atticus, is a lawyer. In this story, Atticus is defending a black man, who is on trial for rape, but defending this black man also causes many people from town to shun him.

This story is actually made based on the author’s childhood where her father also defended black people as a lawyer. When the black people her father defended were murdered, she decided to tell the world how unfair the Jim Crow laws were to the black people.

Personally, I liked the part where everybody in Maycomb is panicking from a dog, which is infected with rabies. Everybody was panicking so hard, they have to talk loudly. Then Atticus saves the day. He takes out the dog with his gun skills and it's down for the count.

 

The journey when reading this book gives you doubt on everything you know so far. It feels like you know something but it is more like the opposite. It gives the vibe that you should read more deeply or else you won’t be able to solve the mystery. This book could surely be worth your time.

 

The way in which Atticus says his wise words is very true. He almost sounds like a monk. The most unforgettable and meaningful sentence is “Shoot all the bluejays you want, if you can hit ’em, but remember, it is a sin to kill a mockingbird.” That sentence tells you that you should not kill or harm an innocent creature. Bluejays eats the plants in your garden while mockingbirds sing their hearts out. Same as how people should have treated the black people in the past because they were innocent creatures.

 

Yeah, I'm guessing you've actually never read the book or at the very least you're too young to really understand writing. I'm not trying to be mean here or anything so please don't take offence. For a basic foreword this isn't too bad. I would mention Jem and say a few words on some of the other characters and then finish it with an overall. Something along the lines "I like this book because..."

your writing is really really choppy. there's too many simple sentences and some of them are worded kind of strangely.

 

"Same as how people treated the black people in the past even though they are innocent." this could be combined with the sentence before it; otherwise it's a sentence fragment.

 

i don't know what your teacher's guidelines are or what they want, but generally you shouldn't use "I" in a professional essay.

 

this part: "This story is actually made based on the author’s childhood where her father also defended black people as a lawyer. When the black people her father defended were murdered, she decided to tell the world how unfair the Jim Crow laws were to the black people." could possibly be removed?? it doesn't seem to fit in with the rest of the paragraph, but again, i don't know what your teacher wants you to do.

Okay, basically what I'm going to do is edit what you've written and then I'll give you some more things to talk about.

 

“To Kill a Mockingbird" is a classic novel full of life, humour and an insight into the cruel ways of the 1930’s. This novel is also a message to say how horribly the black people were treated ever since the Jim Crow laws came into power. It is a great book which you can buy at any bookstore.

 

The story is from a young girl’s perspective, as over a period of years, she experiences what the 1930's were really like. The story is set in the fictional county called Maycomb located in Alabama. This is the town that the protagonist lives in, her name is Jean Louise but she has everyone refer to herself as Scout, as she wants the status that only males can have for this time. She is only about seven years old when the story started. She is then thrown into a world of chaos and disorder and she only understands as much as those around her will tell her. Scout's father, who is called Atticus, is a lawyer. In this story, Atticus is defending a black man, who is on trial for rape, but defending this black man also causes many people from town to shun him.

This story is actually made based on the author’s childhood where her father also defended black people as a lawyer. When the black people her father defended were murdered, she decided to tell the world how unfair the Jim Crow laws were to the black people.

Personally, I liked the part where everybody in Maycomb is panicking from a dog, which is infected with rabies. Everybody was panicking so hard, they have to talk loudly. Then Atticus saves the day. He takes out the dog with his gun skills and it's down for the count.

 

The journey when reading this book gives you doubt on everything you know so far. It feels like you know something but it is more like the opposite. It gives the vibe that you should read more deeply or else you won’t be able to solve the mystery. This book could surely be worth your time.

 

The way in which Atticus says his wise words is very true. He almost sounds like a monk. The most unforgettable and meaningful sentence is “Shoot all the bluejays you want, if you can hit ’em, but remember, it is a sin to kill a mockingbird.” That sentence tells you that you should not kill or harm an innocent creature. Bluejays eats the plants in your garden while mockingbirds sing their hearts out. Same as how people should have treated the black people in the past because they were innocent creatures.

 

Yeah, I'm guessing you've actually never read the book or at the very least you're too young to really understand writing. I'm not trying to be mean here or anything so please don't take offence. For a basic foreword this isn't too bad. I would mention Jem and say a few words on some of the other characters and then finish it with an overall. Something along the lines "I like this book because..."

 

i am 14, i read the book, i suck at english

You seem to be overusing simple sentences with no elaboration put into them.

When you go off-topic in the middle of a paragraph like this:

 

The story is also from a young girl’s perspective in a cruel world in the 1930’s. It is a great book which you can buy at any bookstore.

 

...it makes the appeal of the essay or "foreword" deplete. Try to refrain putting in unnecessary details such as this.

Also this sentence in particular sounded a bit of an odd note to me:

 

Scout father; who is called Atticus; is a lawyer.

 

You might want to change this to "Scout's father, a lawyer named Atticus, is defending a black man suspected for the rape of a teenage girl. Defending those of different race was considered taboo back in the 1930's, serving as an important plot device only a few chapters in."

Maybe not word-for-word, but you should get the gist. You used the semi-colons incorrectly, and the sentence is far too short. Try combining sentences, but in the same token, try not to make too many run-on sentences. Run-ons tend to get boring and monotonous as the essay progresses.

 

I am going into Honors English next year - my Sophomore year - and I have read this book before, just a few months ago when I was still in school, haha.

Anyways, I hope that helped improve your writing a little bit. :3c

Edited July 12, 201213 yr by Miku Hatsune

Nope, try again, the wording and sentence structure is terrible. Focus more on how you want to portray this and maybe read it to someone verbally and see what their input on it is. Try to use less words so it doesn't run on and on and maybe look up words in the thesaurus to make it more professional. Goodluck.