_EPISODE 1_

 

Setting: A huge Kingdom Hearts logo with a keyblade spinning around in the middle. An intro with the title shows up on the screen...transitioning to a backdrop of the same logo, with Sora, standing in place.

 

Sora: Holy smokes, baloney, fudge and mustard, stop the presses and stop the internet!! If you are a member of KH13, and are loading this up your internet machine....you're here. Now, stand, the F**K UP!!

 

(No one stands up. Not even the cast members off screen watching)

 

Sora: -__-....Well, anyways....welcome to 5 Questions With The Kingdom Hearts Cast....where the most important questions on the face of this planet are answered....these, my friends (holds up paper) are the questions. And we (spreads arms out) We...have the answers....the answers to existance! (raises fist)

 

Riku: (Off-stage): By God, you're a ham.

 

Sora: (looks to Riku): By God, you're a homo.

 

(off-screen cast "OOOOHHHH"s in unison.)

 

Riku: -__-....just start the f*king show.

 

Sora: Alrighty then! First question....

 

(record skip, pause)

 

Hi, Firaga96. You know, I was going to make up stuff at this point, but then i thought, "Hey, why not get some actual questions going?"

 

So, KH13.com, I'm leaving the rest to you. Post some questions, being about anything you want to ask Sora, and once I get five, I'll continue the story from there. If you didn't get your question in, you can always ask another one for another character.

Edited October 14, 201213 yr by Firaga96

ITS SWORD ARE ONLINE WHAT CHU TALKIN' BOUT WILLIS?

 

Whoops. Sorry. The pointy ears made me think Exorcist. I didn't know SAO had elves. :mellow:

Whoops. Sorry. The pointy ears made me think Exorcist. I didn't know SAO had elves. :mellow:

ALO arc.

ALO arc.

 

Which is...

Which is...

Land of the fairies.

Land of the fairies.

 

Seems legit.

*is confused* O_o

*is confused* O_o

 

We all are, Oblivion-chan.

Ven, what was your reaction when you met Roxas?

 

Both this and Xam's question was sort of answered already in the Roxas episode.

Edited May 18, 201312 yr by Firaga Sensei

(unpause)

 

Ventus: Right. Anyways, let's get to our first question... this comes from Tom13. He asks, "I've got a little theory here, what if Vanitas went on to possess Aqua instead? Also, Nomura was originally going to make you wield your Keyblade left-handed." Well, first off: that's a good thing, because I'm right handed. And, uh, basically, I'd think it would just be Aqua's body covered with Vanita's suit and armor.

 

Vanitas: Wait a minute... I could have had boobs! D: I can't believe I missed out on that!

 

Aqua: (gasp) You pervert!

 

Riku: Nice, bro.

 

Vanitas: Heh, thanks, bro.

 

(Riku and Vanitas fist bump)

 

Sora: Hold on here, why are you two so buddy-buddy?

 

Riku: We Darknees users gotta stick together.

 

Vanitas: Yeah. We represent.

 

Sora: Represent what? Skirts?

 

(Cast laughs)

 

Riku: Hey, we didn't plan that shit into the design!

 

Vanitas: Yeah, besidess, skirts can be manly!

 

Sora: On what planet?

 

Riku: The planet of your mom.

 

Riku & Vanitas: OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

 

Sora: -__- Well, f**k you too.

 

Riku & Vanitas:

 

Sora: She's gonna watch this and think, "I'm gonna kick Riku's ass."

 

Riku: Does she really watch this show?

 

Sora: No... she hasn't done anything since her one line in 1!

 

Vanitas: Why is that exactly?

 

Sora: She just gave up. Apparantly, the concept of this series is too much for her to handle, so she agreed to one line and one line only. Dad didn't even to come near this.

 

Riku: Oh yeah... my folks too.

 

Kairi: Same here.

 

Vanitas: So what's so bad about this series that they didn't want in?

 

Sora: Various things. Mostly all the ambigious innuendos.

 

Vanitas: Whattya talking about, there's no innue—oh wait, never mind... I can see how a parent can be worried about that...

 

Kairi: Plus, my dad wasn't too happy about the pantie glitch when he found out.

 

Vanitas: Yikes...

 

Ventus: Hey, can we get back to me? I'm sort of in the middle of a thing here!

 

Vanitas: Nobody cares about your thing, Ventus!

 

Ventus: At least I have one. >

 

(Entire Cast loses their shit while some of them jeer at Vanitas)

 

Vanitas: Aw, God dammit, walked into that one.

 

Ventus: Ha! I made a funny! Now, on to the next question. This ones from ItNeverGetsBetterThanThis. He asks, "Could you defeat Radditz from DBZ if you fought him?"

 

(Cast laughs)

 

Ventus: Well, of course I can! Anybody can beat Radditz!

 

(BLAST! / Wall gets blown in, smoke cloud picks up)

 

Sora: What the HFIL?!

 

(smoke clears up and Radditz steps out, looking pissed)

 

Radditz: Oh, yeah?! You Kingdom Hearts putz think you're all that! But guess what, bitches?! I'm from Dragon Ball Z, f**kers, and that means I can own any of you outrageously designed weaklings in one strike!

 

Ventus: Oh, so you're think you're hot shit, are ya? How about you prove it, then? (summons Waywird Wind)

 

Sora: Hold on man... (summons Kingdom Key) I gotz this.

 

Radditz: (smirks) Oh, so the one with the spiky hair wants to challenge me...

 

Roxas: Uh, that could apply to a lot of people.

 

Radditz: Oh, well, um, the one with the brown spiky hair, then.

 

Roxas: Better.

 

Sora: That's right! I'll knock you out faster than Son Goku and Piccolo did!

 

Riku: Wait, hold on, Sora.

 

Sora: What?

 

Riku: I got a better idea... Demyx?

 

Demyx: (pops head out of hole in the ground) Yes?

 

Sora: What were you doing underground? o.O

 

Demyx: Demyx stuff.

 

Sora: Oh.

 

Riku: Demyx, we have a unwanted visitor on the set. Get rid of him. (points at Radditz)

 

Demyx: Oh my Glob, it's Sonic the Hedgh--... oh wait, no, it's Radditz. Holy shit, it's Raditz!

 

Raditz: -__- That joke's getting very old.

 

Sora: What, do you hear it often?

 

Radditz: Are you kidding me?! Nobody from the DBZ series can even get around nowadays without some TFS fan coming up to us and spewing quotes in our faces... or asking us to spew quotes. It's even worse than the "Over 9000" bit at this point.

 

Demyx: Well, that's all fine and dandy, but I'm going to kick your ass now.

 

Radditz: (gets serious) HA! You fool! There's no way that you could possibly even compare to a Saiyan warrior like me! All you have is a sitar and some water! I could easily destroy this entire BUILDING if I wanted to, in the blink of an ey--

 

Demyx: KAIOKEN!

 

Radditz: Kaio-wh-- (gets smacked with Arpeggio) AH! (grabs nose) That was a cheap shot! And you didn't even use the Kaioken!

 

Demyx; I know. Instead, I'm using the power of TeamFourStar comedy!

 

Radditz: Like that'll will ever work!

 

Demyx: Oh really?

 

Radditz: Yes, really! :angry:

 

Demyx: (clears throat) Ha-ha! Dangly parts...

 

Radditz: (grows tick mark) SHUT UP! (dashes at Demyx, Demyx quickly moves out of the way and trips Radditz, causing him to tumble into the wall behind them)

 

Demyx: Heh-heh.

 

Radditz: Gr, what the hell?!

 

Sora: HFIL.

 

Radditz: (stands up and brushes self off) Okay, you may have gotten me once, but that'll be the last time I'll be embarrassed.

 

Demyx: Actually, the last time you were embarrassed is when you tried to escape Hell and got bitch slapped by King Yemma.

 

Radditz: :angry: !! (dashes at Demyx again)

 

Demyx: Dance, water, dance! (summons Water Clones that all gang up on Radditz)

 

Radditz: Gah, ugh, get these things off of me!!

 

Demyx: Okay, sure. (snaps fingers, each clone explodes in a burst of water)

 

(Radditz is soaking wet and slips over himself) Ow, my ass!

 

???: TOTAL FAILURE.

 

Radditz: I have had enough of this!! (stands up and drops into stance) Now, I'll finish you! (charges up his KI energy) HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.......

 

Demyx: (stands and stares)

 

Radditz: ....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...

 

Demyx: (still standing, still staring)

 

Radditz: ...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA......

 

Demyx: (eyes droop, looks at watch)

 

Sora: How long is this going to go on?

 

(1 hour later)

 

Sora: Okay, I think she should have enough Ki by now...

 

(2 hours later)

 

Sora: Does he really have the capacity to have that much energy? Really? -_-

 

(3 hours later)

 

Ventus: He'd better hurry it up, because I'm all out of time cards.

 

Will Radditz be able to stomp out his nemeses in the Kingdom Hearts universe? How fierce will his power be when he finishes gathering his energy? Wil this episode ever follow a linear path and just answer the questions like a normal f**king series does? The answer to all of these questions will be revealed... right now! :

 

No, no, and hell no.

 

Raddtiz: Wait, what was that part about me and my energy? :mellow:

 

Demyx: LIMIT BREAK!

 

(SMACK)

 

Radditz: Ah, my Gotens! (pulls knees together and shakes)

 

Demyx: Sora, quick, throw me the Home Run Bat!

 

Sora: Right! (throws bat to Demyx)

 

Radditz: W-what the heck is that?!

 

Demyx: (in low voice) Your worst nightmare... (normal voice) Batter up, bitch!

 

(CRACK!)

 

(Radditz screams out as he goes flying through the roof and into the sky)

 

Raddtiz: CURSE YOU, DEMYX THE NOBODYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!...

 

Demyx: (blows on bat) (teeth sparkle)

 

Ventus: Well, that was sure packed with references... hey, does anyone remember that I'm the host of this show?

 

Sora: Oh, stop complaining, Roxas.

 

Ventus: I'm Ventus!

 

Sora: Oh yeah. Sorry.

 

Ventus: Well, in any case, let's get the rest of the show on the road. Next question!

 

(pause)

Edited May 5, 201313 yr by Firaga96

To Ventus and all of the members of the cast, even my favorite Master Xehanort:

 

 

 

Have a look at this story that Sesshomaru made, it's 50 chapters long, I liked it, so maybe you'll like it, here.: http://kh13.com/forum/topic/18439-the-keyblade-war-chapter-1/page-1

Edited May 5, 201313 yr by Tom13

(unpause)Ventus: Right. Anyways, let's get to our first question... this comes from Tom13. He asks, "I've got a little theory here, what if Vanitas went on to possess Aqua instead? Also, Nomura was originally going to make you wield your Keyblade left-handed." Well, first off: that's a good thing, because I'm right handed. And, uh, basically, I'd think it would just be Aqua's body covered with Vanita's suit and armor.Vanitas: Wait a minute... I could have had boobs! D: I can't believe I missed out on that!Aqua: (gasp) You pervert!Riku: Nice, bro. ;)Vanitas: Heh, thanks, bro. (Riku and Vanitas fist bump)Sora: Hold on here, why are you two so buddy-buddy?Riku: We Darknees users gotta stick together.Vanitas: Yeah. We represent.Sora: Represent what? Skirts?(Cast laughs)Riku: Hey, we didn't plan that shit into the design!Vanitas: Yeah, besidess, skirts can be manly!Sora: On what planet?Riku: The planet of your mom.Riku & Vanitas: OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!Sora: -__- Well, f**k you too.Riku & Vanitas: :PSora: She's gonna watch this and think, "I'm gonna kick Riku's ass."Riku: Does she really watch this show?Sora: No... she hasn't done anything since her one line in 1!Vanitas: Why is that exactly?Sora: She just gave up. Apparantly, the concept of this series is too much for her to handle, so she agreed to one line and one line only. Dad didn't even to come near this.Riku: Oh yeah... my folks too.Kairi: Same here. :/Vanitas: So what's so bad about this series that they didn't want in?Sora: Various things. Mostly all the ambigious innuendos.Vanitas: Whattya talking about, there's no innue—oh wait, never mind... I can see how a parent can be worried about that...Kairi: Plus, my dad wasn't too happy about the pantie glitch when he found out. :/Vanitas: Yikes...Ventus: Hey, can we get back to me? I'm sort of in the middle of a thing here!Vanitas: Nobody cares about your thing, Ventus!Ventus: At least I have one. > (Entire Cast loses their shit while some of them jeer at Vanitas)Vanitas: Aw, God dammit, walked into that one. :(Ventus: Ha! I made a funny! Now, on to the next question. This ones from ItNeverGetsBetterThanThis. He asks, "Could you defeat Radditz from DBZ if you fought him?"(Cast laughs)Ventus: Well, of course I can! Anybody can beat Radditz! (BLAST! / Wall gets blown in, smoke cloud picks up)Sora: What the HFIL?!(smoke clears up and Radditz steps out, looking pissed)Radditz: Oh, yeah?! You Kingdom Hearts putz think you're all that! But guess what, bitches?! I'm from Dragon Ball Z, f**kers, and that means I can own any of you outrageously designed weaklings in one strike!Ventus: Oh, so you're think you're hot shit, are ya? How about you prove it, then? (summons Waywird Wind)Sora: Hold on man... (summons Kingdom Key) I gotz this.Radditz: (smirks) Oh, so the one with the spiky hair wants to challenge me...Roxas: Uh, that could apply to a lot of people.Radditz: Oh, well, um, the one with the brown spiky hair, then.Roxas: Better.Sora: That's right! I'll knock you out faster than Son Goku and Piccolo did!Riku: Wait, hold on, Sora.Sora: What?Riku: I got a better idea... Demyx?Demyx: (pops head out of hole in the ground) Yes?Sora: What were you doing underground? o.ODemyx: Demyx stuff.Sora: Oh.Riku: Demyx, we have a unwanted visitor on the set. Get rid of him. (points at Radditz)Demyx: Oh my Glob, it's Sonic the Hedgh--... oh wait, no, it's Radditz. Holy shit, it's Raditz!Raditz: -__- That joke's getting very old.Sora: What, do you hear it often?Radditz: Are you kidding me?! Nobody from the DBZ series can even get around nowadays without some TFS fan coming up to us and spewing quotes in our faces... or asking us to spew quotes. It's even worse than the "Over 9000" bit at this point.Demyx: Well, that's all fine and dandy, but I'm going to kick your ass now.Radditz: (gets serious) HA! You fool! There's no way that you could possibly even compare to a Saiyan warrior like me! All you have is a sitar and some water! I could easily destroy this entire BUILDING if I wanted to, in the blink of an ey--Demyx: KAIOKEN!Radditz: Kaio-wh-- (gets smacked with Arpeggio) AH! (grabs nose) That was a cheap shot! And you didn't even use the Kaioken!Demyx; I know. Instead, I'm using the power of TeamFourStar comedy!Radditz: Like that'll will ever work!Demyx: Oh really?Radditz: Yes, really! :angry:Demyx: (clears throat) Ha-ha! Dangly parts...Radditz: (grows tick mark) SHUT UP! (dashes at Demyx, Demyx quickly moves out of the way and trips Radditz, causing him to tumble into the wall behind them)Demyx: Heh-heh. :PRadditz: Gr, what the hell?!Sora: HFIL.Radditz: (stands up and brushes self off) Okay, you may have gotten me once, but that'll be the last time I'll be embarrassed.Demyx: Actually, the last time you were embarrassed is when you tried to escape Hell and got bitch slapped by King Yemma. :PRadditz: :angry: !! (dashes at Demyx again)Demyx: Dance, water, dance! (summons Water Clones that all gang up on Radditz)Radditz: Gah, ugh, get these things off of me!!Demyx: Okay, sure. (snaps fingers, each clone explodes in a burst of water)(Radditz is soaking wet and slips over himself) Ow, my ass!???: TOTAL FAILURE.Radditz: I have had enough of this!! (stands up and drops into stance) Now, I'll finish you! (charges up his KI energy) HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.......Demyx: (stands and stares)Radditz: ....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...Demyx: (still standing, still staring)Radditz: ...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA......Demyx: (eyes droop, looks at watch)Sora: How long is this going to go on?(1 hour later)Sora: Okay, I think she should have enough Ki by now...(2 hours later)Sora: Does he really have the capacity to have that much energy? Really? -_-(3 hours later)Ventus: He'd better hurry it up, becuase I'm all out of time cards.Will Radditz be able to stomp out his nemeses in the Kingdom Hearts universe? How fierce will his power be when he finishes gathering his energy? Wil this episode ever follow a linear path and just answer the questions like a normal f**king series does? The answer to all of these questions will be revealed... right now! :No, no, and hell no.Raddtiz: Wait, what was that part about me and my energy? :mellow:Demyx: LIMIT BREAK!(SMACK)Radditz: Ah, my Gotens! (pulls knees together and shakes)Demyx: Sora, quick, throw me the Home Run Bat!Sora: Right! (throws bat to Demyx)Radditz: W-what the heck is that?!Demyx: (in low voice) Your worst nightmare... (normal voice) Batter up, bitch!(CRACK!)(Radditz screams out as he goes flying through the roof and into the sky)Raddtiz: CURSE YOU, DEMYX THE NOBODYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!...Demyx: (blows on bat) (teeth sparkle)Ventus: Well, that was sure packed with references... hey, does anyone remember that I'm the host of this show?Sora: Oh, stop complaining, Roxas.Ventus: I'm Ventus!Sora: Oh yeah. Sorry.Ventus: Well, in any case, let's get the rest of the show on the road. Next question!(pause)

Awesome. Just firetrucking awesome.

To Ventus and all of the members of the cast, even my favorite Master Xehanort:

 

 

 

Have a look at this story that Sesshomaru made, it's 50 chapters long, I liked it, so maybe you'll like it, here.: http://kh13.com/forum/topic/18439-the-keyblade-war-chapter-1/page-1

 

Cast: K.

I sure had some laughs with that part :lol:

Edited May 5, 201313 yr by Ultimus Grid

OMG that's.... Completely random... i like it

 

Well, I guess I have to come up with another question....

 

Let's see... Ventus, what do you think about Vanitas behind the scenes? do you guys maintain a rivarly relationship or somthing similar?

 

IDK, that's the best question I can come up with....

OMG that's.... Completely random... i like it

 

Well, I guess I have to come up with another question....

 

Let's see... Ventus, what do you think about Vanitas behind the scenes? do you guys maintain a rivarly relationship or somthing similar?

 

IDK, that's the best question I can come up with....

 

One question per episode. I'm still trying to figure out how to answer your first one.

 

EDIT: Oh wait, I already answered your first one... outside the episode... nvm, then.

Edited May 5, 201313 yr by Firaga96

One question per episode. I'm still trying to figure out how to answer your first one.

 

EDIT: Oh wait, I already answered your first one... outside the episode... nvm, then.

outside the episode? I must have forgotten it...

 

See what happens when dealing with High School as a Senior? I forget things....

 

nvm, I prefer you to answer the second question... if that's allright.

Rofl that Perry the Platypus reference

One question per episode. I'm still trying to figure out how to answer your first one.

 

EDIT: Oh wait, I already answered your first one... outside the episode... nvm, then.

So have are you going to answer my question? Its this one:

 

How do you feel about being the only one of the the BBS Trio to have actually done something useful to stop Xehanort? I mean, youdestroyed the X-Blade, and stopped Xehanort from starting another Keyblade war, while Aqua and Terra made things even worse and pretty much screwed up everything.

 

(As an idea for this question, you could make Aqua and Terra fight Ventus for who was the most important in BBS and who was the most useful to stop Xehanort)

So have are you going to answer my question? Its this one:

 

How do you feel about being the only one of the the BBS Trio to have actually done something useful to stop Xehanort? I mean, youdestroyed the X-Blade, and stopped Xehanort from starting another Keyblade war, while Aqua and Terra made things even worse and pretty much screwed up everything.

 

(As an idea for this question, you could make Aqua and Terra fight Ventus for who was the most important in BBS and who was the most useful to stop Xehanort)

 

YES... just be patient.

YES... just be patient.

OK THEN.

OK THEN.

DON'T EXPECT ANY MERCY FROM ME!

DON'T EXPECT ANY MERCY FROM ME!

I'M GONNA BEAT YOU!

I'M GONNA BEAT YOU!

*Rushes up and punches you into sky*

*Vanishes and pops up behind your flying body and knocks you downwards*

*Vanishes again and appears behind you again and punches you into ground*

I THOUGHT I ALREADY TOLD YOU! NO MERCY! *Goes SSG God and HULK mode*

ULTRA  http://youtu.be/UT9w0PGykZ0&autoplay=1 *Vaporizes you*

*Leaves universe and collapses it in, providing no escape*

Edited May 6, 201313 yr by Guest

*Rushes up and punches you into sky*

*Vanishes and pops up behind your flying body and knocks you downwards*

*Vanishes again and appears behind you again and punches you into ground*

I THOUGHT I ALREADY TOLD YOU! NO MERCY! *Goes SSG God and HULK mode*

ULTRA  http://youtu.be/UT9w0PGykZ0&autoplay=1 *Vaporizes you*

*Leaves universe and collapses it in, providing no escape*

*all you hit, was an afterimage of me, meanwhile, i turned SSJ God, and i gathered enough energy for a spirit bomb in one second, and while you were distracted firing a Kamehameha at my afterimage, i threw it the spirit bomb at you, completely destroying you before you had a chance to kill me and collapse the universe*

I SAID I WOULD BEAT YOU!!