_EPISODE 1_

 

Setting: A huge Kingdom Hearts logo with a keyblade spinning around in the middle. An intro with the title shows up on the screen...transitioning to a backdrop of the same logo, with Sora, standing in place.

 

Sora: Holy smokes, baloney, fudge and mustard, stop the presses and stop the internet!! If you are a member of KH13, and are loading this up your internet machine....you're here. Now, stand, the F**K UP!!

 

(No one stands up. Not even the cast members off screen watching)

 

Sora: -__-....Well, anyways....welcome to 5 Questions With The Kingdom Hearts Cast....where the most important questions on the face of this planet are answered....these, my friends (holds up paper) are the questions. And we (spreads arms out) We...have the answers....the answers to existance! (raises fist)

 

Riku: (Off-stage): By God, you're a ham.

 

Sora: (looks to Riku): By God, you're a homo.

 

(off-screen cast "OOOOHHHH"s in unison.)

 

Riku: -__-....just start the f*king show.

 

Sora: Alrighty then! First question....

 

(record skip, pause)

 

Hi, Firaga96. You know, I was going to make up stuff at this point, but then i thought, "Hey, why not get some actual questions going?"

 

So, KH13.com, I'm leaving the rest to you. Post some questions, being about anything you want to ask Sora, and once I get five, I'll continue the story from there. If you didn't get your question in, you can always ask another one for another character.

Edited October 14, 201213 yr by Firaga96

DON'T RUSH ME, BOY! I'm dealing with personal shit right now!

oh.... Sorry...

oh.... Sorry...

Ok dude, i think everyone else has had enough of our Epic battle. Lets just save it for after the next episode comes out. THAT ISN'T EBONICS, I WANT TO FINISH THE ORIGINAL SERIES FIRST FIRAGA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok dude, i think everyone else has had enough of our Epic battle. Lets just save it for after the next episode comes out. THAT ISN'T EBONICS, I WANT TO FINISH THE ORIGINAL SERIES FIRST FIRAGA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

DON'T RUSH ME, BOY! I'm dealing with personal shit right now!

 

Epic blank comment.

...

_EPISODE 4_ : THE EBONICS DUB

 

Roxas: I've been drankin dirty Sanchez-es n' Street Fightin' all weekend hommie biaaatch! ... From Hartford ta Rochester, New York, (starts rappin) itz goin' down...meet me all up in tha mall, itz goin' down...(stops rappin) n' we is back here wit thangs up in mah hand (shows papers) ta hit you wit lyrics muthafiretrucka! We gettiin' right ta dat shit....so listen up.

 

Sora: Damn...

 

Namine: I know, huh, biatch? (laughs) Thatz mah man....

 

Roxas: Question number one.....Keysofblades wants ta know...."So...why do you always chill wit yo' coat on, biatch? Is it straight-up cold up in TWTNW or something?" Mo' jabbin all up in tha logic of vizzle game I see....well, ta rap  tha real deal there IS a reason why I slept wit it on...and fo'sho, TCTNW was frickin freezing...why, biatch? Because Even, or should I say Vexen, over here (points ta left side of screen, eyes still at camera) had ta keep every last muthafiretruckin thang cold as a muthafiretrucka fo' his wild lil' firetruckin experiments...

 

Even: I holla'd at you, mah research required a low temperature of at least -209 degrees Celcius!

 

Roxas: Well, you didn't gotta let tha rest of our asses freeze our asses off up in tha process....thank god fo' dem cloaks...would have took a dirt nap up in dat damn place--seriously, dis creepo was up in charge of tha thermostat n' he always kept it all up in tha lowest temperature ever!

 

Even: Our thugged-out asses had ta cut back on costs, anyway dawwwwg! New weapons don't grow on trees!

 

Roxas: Yeah, well munny falls outta Heartless, so f**k yo thugged-out ass.

 

Vexen: 0-0

 

(Organization "OHHHHHHHHHH's")

 

Roxas: Heh-heh  ..... movin on now, nahmeean?...ahem....next question...from Tom13....I had a neighbor named Tomothy once yo. Dude moved away....and, uh, dat schmoooove muthafiretrucka had a Oldskool School Mustang 2....like tha Cobra 2s, tha onez dat was worthless....it was always breakin down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. My firetruckin momma gave his ass a jumpstart once....(puts hand ta chin) gave his ass suttin' else like a muthafiretrucka....

 

Braig: Letz not go there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. (stiflez laugh)

 

Roxas:  I was talkin' on some cold-ass lil cup of sugar playa! What tha h--...you....how DARE you rap bout mah mutha like dat n' like dis n' like dat y'all...-__-...Braig (points at Braig) Braig just made tha list of playas I be gonna fight. That aint right. Tha--okay what, biatch? (looks backstage at Sora) Braigz makin' funk of mah momma n' I be just supposed ta put it over, biatch? What, biatch? .... What would you do if I made funk of yo' mom, biatch? W-Would dat git our asses ta fight, biatch? (steps back, swings arm) Cuz I be bout ta make of her n' aint a thugged-out damn thang dat yo' ass can do....(stops) Whatever, man.... Braig, I be only half-way sour on you, only half way....cuz yo ass be a cold-ass lil def guy...(looks back at paper) anyways, Tom13 be asking, "Why do you have anger problems, biatch? Why do you use yo' anger as power, biatch? Also why is you so evil when yo ass is so mad salty, biatch? And how tha firetruck would you react if you looked like Ventus?" Well, dis be a cold-ass lil clusterf**k...uh....first off, no, I aint gots anger problems, thatz Dizzle over here.

 

Dizzle: (takes breath) Not gonna respond...

 

Roxas: Whew, oh, and, um, fo'sho, I kinda do....uh, use anger as power, I guess you can say....how'd you be thinkin I fought Riku?

 

Riku: And lost?

 

Roxas: Oh, you cheated n' you know it!

 

Riku: Actually, I be dirty n' I know dat shit. (noize plays, Riku dances)

 

Enitire Cast: KNOCK IT OFF!

 

Xaldin: Therez not a god damn thang dope bout dis ghetto!

 

Riku: Okay, aiiight, YEESH....at least tha fangirls enjoyed dat shit. RIght, ladies?

 

(fangirls scream)

 

Random Fangirl 1: Let me bear yo' children!

 

Roxas: Oh, God, just stop! (shivers) Fangirls is just...gah! I mean, herez tha thang, I aint sayin dat I don't like fangirls...I mean, most manga/anime characters, as well as charactas from Japanese vizzle games, generally do have fangirls....

 

Mickey: Barley any ludd fo' tha Deez'nuts hoes... 

 

Roxas: I know, I know....(sigh) I feel fo' ya....but anyways....the concept is fine, I mean, itz just a gangbangin' fanbase. Why not have a legion of playas horny bout yo' work, biatch? But you see, tha buggin part of tha deal....when they gather up in packs n' start ragin n' beatboxin n' shiznit like that, it gets bad...really bad....so up in short, itz a love-hate relationshizzle. I don't why I felt tha need ta rant yo, but I done did. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafiretrucka! Besides....therez only one fangirl I need....right there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. (points at Namine)

 

Namine:  (giggles)

 

Roxas:  ......CONTINUING! (looks back at papers) why is I so evil when I be mad salty, biatch? I don't give a firetruck, why do tha Hulk tear up every last muthafiretruckin thang up in sight, biatch? Why did Naruto waste no time while up in Nine-Tails mode, biatch? Why did tha big-ass mole dude try ta squish Mario up in Galaxy 1, biatch? ... Because....they was PISSED! And when yo ass is pissed....heh-heh....you tend ta have no other thought than "PUNCH SOME BIZZNITCH IN THE THROAT!" Thatz just how tha firetruck it is fo' realz. Ask mah playas. Right back up in yo muthafiretruckin ass. Sora, biatch? Chain Of Memories?

 

Sora: Oh, yeah, no diggity.

 

Roxas: Yo ass heard tha man..... (looks back at paper) whew, Tomz gotta a shitload of thangs.....tecnically, dis would be tha fifth question....

 

Okay guys, freshly smoked up rule: One question per user.

 

Roxas: Uh, what tha firetruck is mah erection ta lookin like Ventus...."sweet Jizzy, peep dat fine devil!" 

 

Ventus: I thought tha same thang, bro.

 

Roxas: Heh....a bit of clarity, uh, dat bro comment meant mo' than you think. Ventus n' I is actual twins up in real game. No shit.

 

Ventus: As if it wasn't obvious enough.

 

Roxas: I know right, biatch? .. fo' realz. Anyways, thatz all I gotta say, n' THAT clears up todizzlez episode, until then.....say what tha firetruck you want, n' do what tha firetruck you want....and don't let tha playa git you down....and Aladdin, go f**k yo ass....simple as it is. For four episodez of 5 Questions...(crumplez up papers) dis is Roxas, signin out. (throws paper backstage at Cast) See you pimps on tha other side, other story...

 

(rimshot)

 

(Cast laughs)

 

Roxas: (laughs, strutts off set) Stupid closer...heh-heh.... 

Is it just me, or does each ebonics episode get more confusing than the last?

Edited May 9, 201312 yr by Ultimus Grid

Is it just me, or does each ebonics episode get more confusing than the last?

That's why they're so entertaining!

That's why they're so entertaining!

True.

Okay, you know what, guys? I've come to a conclusion on something: if you're gonna post on this thread, then it has to be about 5 Questions; if not, then don't post at all. That "fight" that NeverBetter and Spidey started is making it really hard for me to backtrack and finish Ventus' episode, so if you mind, pay the creator of this thread some courtesy. I hope that's not too much to ask. Ok?

Okay, you know what, guys? I've come to a conclusion on something: if you're gonna post on this thread, then it has to be about 5 Questions; if not, then don't post at all. That "fight" that NeverBetter and Spidey started is making it really hard for me to backtrack and finish Ventus' episode, so if you mind, pay the creator of this thread some courtesy. I hope that's not too much to ask. Ok?

Got it. Sorry about that. We were just trying to entertain those of us waiting in the meantime we wait for the next episode.

(unpause)

 

Next question! This is from Spidey, aka spiderfreak1011. He asks, "How do you feel about being the one one of the the Trio that you're part of to have actually done something useful to stop Xehanort? I mean, you destroyed the X-Blade, while Aqua and Terra made things even worse." I feel pretty darn good, to be honest. You know, a lot of people think I'm not really the best out of the Birth By Sleep three, mostly because I'm not, how you say, an intellilegible...

 

Sora: That's intellectual.

 

Ventus: Gesundheit.

 

(rimshot, cast giggles, including Sora)

 

Ventus: But for you to give me that kind of praise makes me all warm inside.

 

Aqua: I'm all warm inside, too, Venny-kun... :wub:

 

Ventus: You say something, Aqua?

 

Aqua: No! Um, I have to use the bathroom! (runs into the next room)

 

Sora: What got into her?

 

Riku: Apparantly, the hots.

 

(rimshot)

 

Ventus: Well, that was wierd... anyways, let's get to the next question. From xoblivionx13...

 

I STILL LOVE YOU, OBLIVION-CHAN! :D

 

Roxas: Dude, seriously, would you knock it off?!

 

-__- ... You want to defy me? THEN FACE THE RANCOR!

 

Roxas: What's a Rancor?

 

IT'S A-- wait, you don't know what a Rancor is? Didn't you ever see Star Wars?

 

Roxas: What's Star Wars?

 

(everyone's eye go wide)

 

Okay, you're getting it now, boy! (pulls lever)

 

Roxas: (floor dissapears) I will have my reVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE--- (hits floor) Ow... oh look, a big brown puppy.

 

Rancor: RAWR!!!!

 

Roxas: AH!

 

(floor closes)

 

Namine: Firaga, you jerk! How coudl you send my poor Roxie-kun down there?!

 

Would you people stop with the suffixes? Only I can do that.

 

Namine: Well, you still shouldn't have sent him there!

 

You wanna join him, blondie?

 

Namine: (gulps) I, uh, I'd go to the ends of the earth for my Roxie-er, Roxas!

 

Look, just calm down, Nami--

 

Namine: No, I won't!

 

Would you do it for a Scooby Snack?

 

Namine: What?! No!

 

Two Scooby Snacks?

 

Namine: .... well... okay.

 

Roxas: (from underground) YOU TRAITOR!

 

Namine: Ah, be a man, you've faced tougher guys than that!

 

Roxas: But this isn't a Heartless or Nobody or anything! D:

 

Well, sucks to be you. Bye. (seals off sound)

 

Rancor: (muffled) IMMA RAPE YA, BITCH!

 

Roxas: (muffled) Oh sweet Glob in the sky! D:

 

Ventus: .... Um... okay...

 

Just keeping talking, Ventus.

 

Ventus: Okay then. (thinks) Maybe I shoudln't have come in to work today.

 

Maybe so.

 

Ventus: Did you just read my mind?!

 

Yeah... what about it?

 

Ventus: Uh... uh, heh, n-next question folks (hides behind papers as he reads)

 

(pause)

So Ven, did you have any regrets when you took down Vanitas in your final battle?

(unpause)

 

 

Ventus: Uh... uh, heh, n-next question folks (hides behind papers as he reads) Uh, this last question is from VIIAxel, and he asks--

 

Wait a minute, you didn't answer Oblivion's question.

 

Ventus: Oh right, sorry... sort of got caught up in the randomness.

Story of my life, kid.

 

Ventus: Yeah, I know. Anyways, oblvion, the inside of Sora's heart is... well... it's boring. I mean, I don't have a body in the story right now, I'm basically a voice inside Sora's head.

 

Sora: I'm not crazy, am I?!

 

Randy Orton: Don't worry, I hear voices in my head, too.

 

Sora: Whoa, it's Randy Orton!

 

Orton: Hi.

 

(RKO's Sora, walks out)

 

Sora: (lying on the floor) Totally, worth it... ha-ha-ha...

 

Ventus: That looked like it hurt.

 

Roxas: Wrestling's still fake. -_-

 

Hey, how'd you get out the Rancor Pit?!

 

Namine: Ididn'tlethimout.

 

Dammit, Namine!

 

R&N: Run away! (Roxas grabs Nami's hand and they bolt)

 

Pfft. I'll deal with them later.

 

Riku: How?

 

That doesn't concern you...

 

Riku: You're gonna throw them into the Box again, aren't you.

 

Well, yeah, but, it won't be that one song playing this time.

 

Riku: What'll it be then?

 

This. (pulls out boombox) (pushes play button) "STEP INTO THE GRAND TOUR! (GRAND TOUR, GRAND TOUR!)

 

Riku: AH! That's even worse.

 

I know. (turns it off)

 

Ventus: Can I answer Axel's question, now?

 

Sure, go ahead.

 

Ventus: Alright, well, Axel asked, "What was your reaction when you met Roxas?" Well--

 

Phil: Hold on kid, you got one more to answer with that. Read the bottom half of the page.

 

Ventus: What? Why?

 

Phil: Two words: They're the same.

 

Ventus: Oh okay. (reads paper) Okay, so this one's from Xamtweth-Remixed. He asks, "How would you feel if someone was to say that you and roxas are twins (in the manner where Roxas is existing in the world)." Oh, I see how these are sort of the same. Well, first off, we're brothers in real life, so it's not really too much of a big deal. I mean, I don't mind looking at him, obviously.

 

Sora: o-0... Uh... that's a little... um, much, isn't it?

 

Ventus: What?! He's sexy! And so am I! I'm not gonna bullshit anything.

 

Riku: Bro. Respect.

 

Sora: Aw come on, you're getting Riku's acceptance here. RIKU'S accpetance!

 

Riku: Aren't you supposed to be knocked out?

 

Sora: Aren't YOU supposed to be in traction?

 

Riku: No...

 

Sora: You will be if you don't f**k off. (raises fist)

 

Riku: AH! (cowers)

 

Sora: Tch. Two for flinching. (summons Keyblade)

 

Riku: What's that for-- (gets hit in the head) OW! (then sweeped under the legs) Ow! (whines) Sora, that huuuurt...

 

Sora: You want some more, Sex Boy? Huh?!

 

Riku: N-no. Man. (raises hands) J-just take it easy.

 

Ventus: Shouldn't you stop this?

 

Nah, it's too funny. Lol

 

Ventus: ... Agreed.

 

Riku: (growls and jumps to feet) Screw you guys, I'm going home! (trips on shoelace, lands on face) (whines) Owww.... 

 

Ventus: Well, that's nice way to cap off the episode. Make sure to tune into more 5 Questions in the future, where more time will be wasted and more bashing will ensue. Probably to Riku.

 

Riku:

 

Anyways, ladies and gents, make sure to leave your questions as you see fit. Also, if you feel like it, you can send them to my Gmail, my YouTube, and my Skype. Good night, for now... and remember,,, I watch you when you sleep...

 

Sora: Do you really? 0-o

 

Maybe... ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.... (fades in the darkness)

 

Ventus: Why do we work for him again?

 

Sora: Because he's cool.

 

Ventus: Oh yeah.

 

Sora: Plus, he pays in COOKIES! (pulls string, cookies rain from the ceiling)

 

Ventus: YAAAAAAAAAAAY!!

 

(erebody eats cookies)

 

X*X*X*X*X

 

Gmail: [email protected]

 

YouTube: AJraxUltima

 

Skype: See mah profile.

Edited May 25, 201312 yr by Firaga Sensei

DO TERRA NEXT. DO TERRA NEXT. DO TERRA NEXT.

Oh, gods, time for Aqua. And I have a question for Aqua already. What in the world allowed you to live for like 12 years in the Realm in Between and what did you do to entertain yourself?, and for a fun question: how long do you think Ven will stay oblivious to your feels?

Edited May 18, 201312 yr by Guest

Aqua or Terra next!.....or maybe Eraqus

Aqua or Terra next!.....or maybe Eraqus

AQUA!!!

AQUA!!!

TERRA!!! THE XEHANORT'S DEMAND TERRA.

You know, I just realized... if I'm going to do Terra next episode (not confirming that I actually am)... I'm going to need to pull him out of Terranort's body.

 

Terranort: And so do you suppose we do that?

 

I have a idea or two... (pulls out vacuum)

 

Terranort: 0-o! You don't actually think that'll work, do you?!

 

Eh. Only one way to find out... NOW BUT YOUR HEAD BETWEEN YOUR LEGS AND KISS YOUR ASS GOODBYE!

 

Terranort: AH! (runs away)

 

Get back here, boy! (chases)

You know, I just realized... if I'm going to do Terra next episode (not confirming that I actually am)... I'm going to need to pull him out of Terranort's body.

 

Terranort: And so do you suppose we do that?

 

I have a idea or two... (pulls out vacuum)

 

Terranort: 0-o! You don't actually think that'll work, do you?!

 

Eh. Only one way to find out... NOW BUT YOUR HEAD BETWEEN YOUR LEGS AND KISS YOUR ASS GOODBYE!

 

Terranort: AH! (runs away)

 

Get back here, boy! (chases)

Dude, just get the dragon balls and wish him out, but wish him back in when your done.

Dude, just get the dragon balls and wish him out, but wish him back in when your done.

 

This is NOT DragonBall Z, dammit!

 

Raditz: But you let me in here, so--

Shut up, Raditz, you have no friends!Raditz: Aw.

TERRA!!! THE XEHANORT'S DEMAND TERRA.

AND I DEMAND AQUA!

AND I DEMAND AQUA!

THE XEHANORTS AND I DEMAND TERRA! SO WE OUTRANK YOU BECAUSE THERE ARE MORE OF US. *Does a mordecai pose* OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE XEHANORTS AND I DEMAND TERRA! SO WE OUTRANK YOU BECAUSE THERE ARE MORE OF US. *Does a mordecai pose* OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Generates 12 thousand more of me* I am a brownie. i am able to seperate myself. OUTNUMBA'D