Hey, thanks for taking the time to read through this, and for any advice you may have. This is the most personal thing I've ever shared here, but I feel like I know most of you pretty well, and I've seen much more personal stuff posted here in any event.

 

So, I've always felt pretty lonely, and I haven't had any friends for around seven years. I naturally grew accustomed to this, and over time I just didn't seem to care anymore. That all changed this summer. I had the wonderful chance to tour some of Europe with people from my school (and a few from a different state entirely), and I had the time of my life. Though I was pretty far out of my comfort zone when it began, by the end I had actually made friends. Granted, I probably can't call any of them close friends, but they're friends enough that I actually have a reason to talk when I'm at school now. In fact, I'm a bit more sociable all around now (not by much, but compared to what I was before it is noticeable).

 

However, that trip gave me a taste of the kind of life I've been missing. For so long I've been pretty much trapped in my own bubble, I haven't lived very much at all. I want to change that, at least a little. I want to rid myself of the excuses I've been using for so long to avoid being social. I want to use the little time I have left in high school to actually become a person that I want to be.

 

The greatest of my excuses, the one that has, in some ways, created all the others I have, is my body. I'm fairly overweight, and a lot of my social anxiety stems from this. I'm always afraid of being judged or made fun of, and that has pretty much made me a social recluse. When simply being there has the possibility of eliciting torture and embarrassment, life just isn't fun. I know that if I can't change this aspect of myself, I will never grow as a person.

 

That is why I have come to you, my fellow members of KH13. Though I haven't been here that long, this is the place I feel closest to outside of the "real world". I know you are all kind and helpful people, and that's why I have finally mustered the courage to seek help.

 

You see, I am highly motivated right now. However, I have been through... let's call them "phases", like this before. Without fail, I always lost the motivation and ultimately never reached my goal. Though I do certainly have motivations currently, many of them are simply fantasies that may not even occur should I succeed at changing myself. So any advice you have on staying motivated (as well as finding more solid motivation) would be greatly appreciated.

 

In addition, I'm certain that some of you here have been through the same thing as me, and perhaps you actually succeeded. Or, maybe you have simply always taken good care of your health. Regardless, any tips on diet and exercise would be greatly appreciated. Particularly, exercises that excel at burning fat would be most welcome. Unfortunately, however, I do have some limitations as to what I can do. Joining an athletic team simply isn't in the cards for me right now, and all of my exercise has to be done at home. Preferably, I'd like things I could do after coming home from school. I have access to a treadmill, a private road, some weights, resistance bands, and stairs. So anything I can do with those, as well as without equipment, would be splendid. As for diet, I'm already working on reducing my portion sizes and drinking water.

 

Again, thanks so much for reading and for any help you can offer. I really want to succeed this time.

Edited September 11, 201312 yr by DragonMaster

Popularity, to make one a NICER person?....this I like. I like a lot.

 

Really schools scare me. They sound like places where nice people are turned into........blood thrursty demons.

Edited September 11, 201312 yr by ~DawnStar2004~

Popularity, to make one a NICER person?....this I like. I like a lot.

 

Really schools scare me. They sound like places where nice people are turned into........blood thrursty demons.

Well, I'm not exactly aiming to be popular, just to actually have a few good friends. But yeah, that's the idea I guess. And school can indeed be a scary place, peer pressure can turn perfectly good people into jerks. I can see where your fear comes from.

Its depends on the type of workout your doing, if your going on walks extending your walking distance/time is a great plan! but it doing strengthening exercises stay at the same level for a few days before advancing or until you no longer have to exert as much effort as you did in the beginning.

 

Also a tip for jogging" the second day is always the hardest, stick with it and it becomes much better!

I do hope there are a lot of schools where nice people can stay nice, peers or not. Thinking other girls, like me, who like girly things, would go around hurting others makes me wanna die of a heart attack....

Edited September 11, 201312 yr by ~DawnStar2004~

Its depends on the type of workout your doing, if your going on walks extending your walking distance/time is a great plan! but it doing strengthening exercises stay at the same level for a few days before advancing or until you no longer have to exert as much effort as you did in the beginning.

 

Also a tip for jogging" the second day is always the hardest, stick with it and it becomes much better!

I did try doing some jogging today, I didn't do very well. I think I'll set a some incremental goals with that. I made it about a minute twenty today without slowing down (this is on a treadmill, and that time seems really pathetic T_T) so I'll make my first goal to be able to got a full two minutes (maybe two minutes thirty seconds). Umm... besides that, does half an hour sound like a reasonable time frame? That would actually work out really well with how my days normally go.

 

 

I do hope there are a lot of schools where nice people can stay nice, peers or not. Thinking other girls, like me, who like girly things, would go around hurting others makes me wanna die of a heart attack....

Don't worry, I'm sure there are. And I agree, it is a sad thought that there might be someone like you out there doing terrible things.

Hopefully most girly girls are very sweet people. I mean, no one seems to hate on cute things....right?

 

^_^;;;

Yeah definatly! When first starting to work out a half hour is a great amount of time, oh be sure before you go jogging to stretch. Also if you are having trouble jogging for a long time, its more effective to jog for 30 seconds, walk for a minute, and jog for 30 more seconds repeating that about 4 times or as many as you can before feeling too out of breath to jog again. Remember working out is not about pushing yourself to your limit its about improvement and health

I care waaaay too much about girliness. I really really do. Its not healthy; its like how xehanort is about the darkness...

Yeah definatly! When first starting to work out a half hour is a great amount of time, oh be sure before you go jogging to stretch. Also if you are having trouble jogging for a long time, its more effective to jog for 30 seconds, walk for a minute, and jog for 30 more seconds repeating that about 4 times or as many as you can before feeling too out of breath to jog again. Remember working out is not about pushing yourself to your limit its about improvement and health

Glad to hear that. I'll be sure to stretch before going on the treadmill, and that 30 second jog/1 minute walk strategy sounds like it should be something I can manage. Thank-you so much, you've been really helpful!

Now I'm starting to have that same feeling as you all over again, man

Well, I suppose I officially started my workouts today. I'm going to search around for some routines that I could use, but in the mean time I think I can manage with the stuff I know how to do. Measured myself too, and wasn't too happy with the numbers (I've got my work cut out for me -_-).

 

Oh, by the way Javelin434, you made the comment that staying pissed off during the workout might help, and it did indeed. Just today I got quite angry, and it should be enough to keep me brewing for awhile as well (its a bit too personal to be sharing here though, at least for me).

Well, I suppose I officially started my workouts today. I'm going to search around for some routines that I could use, but in the mean time I think I can manage with the stuff I know how to do. Measured myself too, and wasn't too happy with the numbers (I've got my work cut out for me -_-).

 

Oh, by the way Javelin434, you made the comment that staying pissed off during the workout might help, and it did indeed. Just today I got quite angry, and it should be enough to keep me brewing for awhile as well (its a bit too personal to be sharing here though, at least for me).

Come to think of it, being angry is a good motivator isnt it? It sure worked when I was getting up those weeds on Monday

So, does anyone know a place online I can go to that will help me make a exercise regimen for myself? As it is, I'm just doing random exercises that I know, and I seriously doubt that's enough. I just feel a bit overwhelmed right now, I have no idea what to do. I know that I should mix cardio and strength training (and maybe something else? I can't remember), but I just don't know that many exercises, nor how to do them effectively.

 

What I'm doing now is basically this:

Stretch

Warm up doing jumping jacks + walking on treadmill for a couple minutes

Treadmill- rotate 30 sec jog and 30 sec run for five minutes.

Resistance bands and dumbbells that I have, not sure what the exercises are called, but there are four different ones I know at 3 sets of 10

Pushups - Sets of 10, I can really only manage somewhere between 1 and 2 sets of these

Situps- 3 sets of 10

Mountain climbers for 30 sec

 

Then depending on the time I'll repeat any of the above until I'm at 25 min then I go on to the below

Run on treadmill for 2 mins

Walk on treadmill for 3 mins

Stretch

Jog/walk in place to cool down

 

Yeah, I've got no idea how good of a workout that is (I certainly sweat and feel it afterwards though). So if anyone can help (or point me somewhere that can) in building a routine, that would be greatly appreciated.

So, does anyone know a place online I can go to that will help me make a exercise regimen for myself? As it is, I'm just doing random exercises that I know, and I seriously doubt that's enough. I just feel a bit overwhelmed right now, I have no idea what to do. I know that I should mix cardio and strength training (and maybe something else? I can't remember), but I just don't know that many exercises, nor how to do them effectively.

 

What I'm doing now is basically this:

Stretch

Warm up doing jumping jacks + walking on treadmill for a couple minutes

Treadmill- rotate 30 sec jog and 30 sec run for five minutes.

Resistance bands and dumbbells that I have, not sure what the exercises are called, but there are four different ones I know at 3 sets of 10

Pushups - Sets of 10, I can really only manage somewhere between 1 and 2 sets of these

Situps- 3 sets of 10

Mountain climbers for 30 sec

 

Then depending on the time I'll repeat any of the above until I'm at 25 min then I go on to the below

Run on treadmill for 2 mins

Walk on treadmill for 3 mins

Stretch

Jog/walk in place to cool down

 

Yeah, I've got no idea how good of a workout that is (I certainly sweat and feel it afterwards though). So if anyone can help (or point me somewhere that can) in building a routine, that would be greatly appreciated.

hmmm... the time when my beefed out cousin dragged my sorry ass into the gym that one summer The best route that he recommended me was to focus on one muscle group a day, that way when you cycle back into it, it's been properly well rested to go again. 3 sets of 10 is the best way to go at it, and increase the weight when it becomes easy for you. But since your main focus is resolving the weight issue, I believe the treadmill is the only way to go. Mind you, my objective during the time in the gym was to beef up a little (And I did, then school kicked back in so yeah...)

 

To put it bluntly, I got a crash course into the damn thing. Here's the scoop for the treadmill: Dedicate an HOUR to it, jog about 5mph for as long as you can. REALLY push it and do whatever it takes to keep pushing it (It's amazing what putting a twinkie on the station in front of you can do as well as blasting Eye of the Tiger ) When you feel like you're about to stumble from exhaustion, dial back on the speed and walk/jog until you've recovered a bit, then try again at full speed. The main objective would be to develop your endurance, and while working on that, burning some fat as well. do that about once per week, with exercising your other muscle group for the other days (out of the week, one day for chest, one for arms, abs, back, legs aka running, then dedicate a day to relax, repeat for the other week.) You'll be able to notice your improvement when you realize that your initial time before wanting to dial back on the speed is longer than before, and there will come a point where you just don't bother slowing down anymore. It's a little reward for dedication, and the awesome feeling of completing it fully warrants a treat of sorts

 

Hope that helps! 

Edited September 13, 201312 yr by Javelin434

[insert post here]

 

Hope that helps! 

Well, that certainly sounds like a straight forward way to go about it. To be honest, it almost sounds a little too simple. It would definitely be a challenge (a whole hour of treadmill...); I can already feel the fire in my legs. Well, I'm willing to try it. Thanks for the help!

 

If anyone has anything else they might want to add or say, I'm open to all sorts of ideas.

Okay, if you're anything like me, you like junk food. And the truth is, junk food is yummy. But here's the thing: when you eat healthy, you actually feel better. It seems stupid, but try to eat well for a few days and you'll notice it. and whenever you start thinking about the horribly delicious foods, remember that feeling. Of course, it's not like you can't have anything yummy, just remember that moderating your junk food will make it taste just as good and won't make you feel icky afterwards.

 

As for the exercises, if you don't have a specific place on your body you want to lose weight, it's best to start with 5-10 minute bursts of cardio interspaced with simple strength exercises such as squats, sit-ups/crunches, and pushups. Don't feel like you need to do the most extreme versions of them right away. If you're a bit out of shape, start with the easier versions of the exercises and work your way up to the harder ones.

This is really quite solid advice exercise-wise. In addition, if you are conscious of your weight, is it safe to assume that your belly is at the core of your physical embarrassment? If so, Sit ups in the morning and evening routinely every day (even if it's as few as 20 per session) dramatically tones your stomach (turns fat to muscle) in a very reasonable amount of time. Not only that, but as far as motivating yourself for it goes, it becomes a very small part of your day to day routine (like brushing your teeth) that comes naturally after a couple weeks. It just takes a little commitment and faith to do wonders.

Being wanted is part of the human condition, insecure or not, everyone wants at least one other being's approval.

 

Actually, the two core desires of humans are 1) to be liked and  2) to be liked. 1 or both is said to exist in the complex of every human being, and having both often causes personally issues or in some cases is the core of personal strength.... sorry I digressed, I studied psychology and have a particular liking for human complexes

Well, that certainly sounds like a straight forward way to go about it. To be honest, it almost sounds a little too simple. It would definitely be a challenge (a whole hour of treadmill...); I can already feel the fire in my legs. Well, I'm willing to try it. Thanks for the help!

 

If anyone has anything else they might want to add or say, I'm open to all sorts of ideas.

 

I am really impressed by your honesty and forthrightness with your personal hang-ups. If I may, I'd like to offer some advice which solved my own issues similar to your own. Of course, it is all based on assumptions born from the information you have given here (so please don't take offence or my word for law by any means!!!!)

 

You seem to have a lack of identity. Not in the sense you don't know superficial things like your name, what you want to be when you grow up, ect. but in the sense of you have no firm knowledge of the person you are or even the person you are so keen to become. This could be the source of any depression, anxiety, exhaustion or lack of motivation/ambition in your day-to-day life. This is NOT a big problem as most people go through it either through their teenage years or in what we refer to as a 'mid-life crisis'. Obviously, this doesn't help at all knowing that, but accepting it is the first step to finding resolution.

 

I began an experiment about 18 months ago on myself, as I also did not particularly like who I was, and was beginning to lose my grasp on who I was at all. As briefly as I can here, (as my personal story will likely not aid/interest you) I was a miserable child through my early teenage years and felt no real connection to family and saw no reason to do the things I was (school, family obligations, ect.) and wanted purpose in my life. I met a small group of people in my hometown away from school who quickly became my closest of friends - so as I couldn't value my own life and live for me, I would live for them, and go to all lengths for someone I cared for. This was good for my personal development.... blah blah blah..... but I went to boarding school where I felt connected to no-one and felt out of place and as if I was wasting my time being there. This led to a drinking problem age 16 which spiralled out of control to the point I was sneaking alcohol into my lessons to keep myself from going mad - this habbit, through someone else's actions got me expelled in the end. Being out of school and with parents who refused to sympathise or help me find my answers I could very rarely see my friends that I had made central to my existence and my drinking got far worse and was not even thinly veiled. The problem was there now for all to see. 

My new year's resolution in 2010 was to end it all. I made plans and arrangements to kill myself. However, a girl approached me and within a very short time became my girlfriend. She shared similar pains and hardships (also having been expelled) and we clung to each other for support. She became to centre of my life. I left home to live with her and began my own new life with her. Happy as that may sound, her hidden scars and horrific events that followed in the beginning of the relationship changed her drastically. I grew to feel like her slave, trapped with her and in this new life-style. After a year of this, I felt hollow and empty, just like I did when I made the decision to die. 

However, I came to the conclusion that I am not hopeless. Hopelessness is just a feeling, not a permanent state. I took the hollow feeling and turned it into emotional armour. I felt no negativity or positivity, but could think rationally and logically day to day, and could accomplish anything I set out to do. This was bad for the relationship that saved my life, being built on hurt and feelings, but I learnt that if this was possible, then you could be whoever/whatever you want through a combination of rational thought and emotional stability. I tore down the armour, and began speaking my heart and mind whenever I could. This made me vunerable, but I realised something. The people who are most valuable to you are those who won't judge you, who understand you and who support you. Being so open and honest, despite whatever outrageous, embarrassing or crazy thing you come out with, simply makes it easier to discern who actually is important to you, and who you are important to. Clearly, this also goes hand in hand with caring and listening to others to form actual bonds. 

Who I am now is far different to who I was 2 years ago. I'm satisfied with myself and my decisions I have made in the last year despite my situation being below the average standard of living. I found emotional balance and most importantly the confidence to be what I want to be, do what I want to do, and go wheerever the firetruck I wanna go!

 

Now, I hope there was some relevance in sharing a little of my own bleeding heart with you and the others within the community that have voiced their advice and care for you. The message is this: Change is far easier than you think, it's about finding the knack. Like with a dodgy lock on a door or a poorly fitted keyhole: there is a certain way of sliding the lock into place or the key into the keyhole, it just takes a little fiddling to find the spot. It's the same with finding the courage to be who you are and do what you want to do despite what anyone else may think. The more often you do it, the less time it takes to slide the latch or get the key in the hole, see? Just remember, those who judge or pick on you for being yourself and being honest are doing YOU a favour. You know that they will never be worth your time, care or efforts - time you could be using to spend with people you actually like you for you and respect you or even admire you for your inner strength.

 

I hope this is of some help to you, feel free to talk to me anytime if it does!

 

 

Oh, and PS: Cereal is a great diet choice, and believe me there are some really tasty nutritious cereals out there. Bonus is you can eat LOADS of it and not gain any weight really

Now, I hope there was some relevance in sharing a little of my own bleeding heart with you and the others within the community that have voiced their advice and care for you. The message is this: Change is far easier than you think, it's about finding the knack. Like with a dodgy lock on a door or a poorly fitted keyhole: there is a certain way of sliding the lock into place or the key into the keyhole, it just takes a little fiddling to find the spot. It's the same with finding the courage to be who you are and do what you want to do despite what anyone else may think. The more often you do it, the less time it takes to slide the latch or get the key in the hole, see? Just remember, those who judge or pick on you for being yourself and being honest are doing YOU a favour. You know that they will never be worth your time, care or efforts - time you could be using to spend with people you actually like you for you and respect you or even admire you for your inner strength.

 

I hope this is of some help to you, feel free to talk to me anytime if it does!

 

 

Oh, and PS: Cereal is a great diet choice, and believe me there are some really tasty nutritious cereals out there. Bonus is you can eat LOADS of it and not gain any weight really

My words are failing me right now, but I had to let you know that I really appreciate you posting this. I really can relate with what you wrote (I think you may be pretty accurate with the lack of identity comment). Though your situation that you wrote about is definitely a bit different than mine, I can sympathize with how you felt. Honestly, today I've actually been feeling quite empty and depressed, but this brings my day to a close on a brighter feeling. I feel like there is a bit more I should say, but I'm tired and I'll just end up wording things really awkwardly. Also, glad to hear that about cereal, as that is really my only breakfast option on weekdays.

 

To all of you who have posted in this thread to help me, I feel like I can't thank you enough. I know I've said that a lot, but it just seems like I cannot convey the gratitude I feel through the internet. Since I'll never see or meet any of you in real life, the best way I can think of to truly show my gratitude to you all is to try my hardest and succeed. I'm so glad I came to you guys, you've all given me a huge boost in morale. I feel like anytime I start to feel that my goal isn't possible, all I'll have to do is come here and see the support you all have provided. Seriously, thank you.

My words are failing me right now, but I had to let you know that I really appreciate you posting this. I really can relate with what you wrote (I think you may be pretty accurate with the lack of identity comment). Though your situation that you wrote about is definitely a bit different than mine, I can sympathize with how you felt. Honestly, today I've actually been feeling quite empty and depressed, but this brings my day to a close on a brighter feeling. I feel like there is a bit more I should say, but I'm tired and I'll just end up wording things really awkwardly. Also, glad to hear that about cereal, as that is really my only breakfast option on weekdays.

 

To all of you who have posted in this thread to help me, I feel like I can't thank you enough. I know I've said that a lot, but it just seems like I cannot convey the gratitude I feel through the internet. Since I'll never see or meet any of you in real life, the best way I can think of to truly show my gratitude to you all is to try my hardest and succeed. I'm so glad I came to you guys, you've all given me a huge boost in morale. I feel like anytime I start to feel that my goal isn't possible, all I'll have to do is come here and see the support you all have provided. Seriously, thank you.

 

hey, it's no problem. The fact that I have no issues with this all being made public information shows my own progress I'm glad I brightened your day!

 

Oh, and Cereal can replace ANY meal man, I occasionally replace all three meals with cereal

hey, it's no problem. The fact that I have no issues with this all being made public information shows my own progress I'm glad I brightened your day!

 

Oh, and Cereal can replace ANY meal man, I occasionally replace all three meals with cereal

The wonders of cereal, eh? I never knew.

 

 

Well, I made it thirty minutes on the treadmill before I just had to give it a rest. Didn't go below three mph except for the four times I stopped to grab my water... I can make it about two and a half minutes at a run before I have to bring it down to jog/speed-walk for awhile. I felt great afterwards though! (Well, once the burning sensation went away and it didn't hurt to take deep breaths.)

The wonders of cereal, eh? I never knew.

 

 

Well, I made it thirty minutes on the treadmill before I just had to give it a rest. Didn't go below three mph except for the four times I stopped to grab my water... I can make it about two and a half minutes at a run before I have to bring it down to jog/speed-walk for awhile. I felt great afterwards though! (Well, once the burning sensation went away and it didn't hurt to take deep breaths.)

 

That's great, keep it up!! Remember, you only need to push yourself a little bit out of your comfort speed to start reaping the benefits - it's more about building up stamina and maintaining a routine pattern

Well, I seem to already be making progress. I was able to go 40 minutes on the treadmill today, and I ran at around 5 mph for four minutes straight. I also went 2 miles in 30 minutes, which I've never once done. I'm pretty proud of myself, and I'm also going to be feeling that tomorrow.

I know exaclt what you mean. I've always been overweight and insecure. I am also on a mission to change myself completely. Not just being overweight but. I want to be smarter, more social, and finally work on all the talents I wanted to be good at. I have a goal to get all this done by the time my second next birthday comes around. Don't give up! I know we can do this. Just wake up everyday and tell yourself immediately how you are going to spend that day. Its what I do. Tell yourself you won't give up! I'm rooting for you. =)

I can relate to motavational probs: about a year ago I had a .... DARK time: depression, barely left my room, didn't eat, couldn't sleep, didn't WANT to sleep from horrible night terrors...

I did two things to keep myself sane ( due to this being cause by events I refuse to explain here ):

I wrote stories of a better place, some fantasy some realistic, where I defeated my demons and moved on.

The second was playing DAYS a lot, but that's kinda irrelavant...

Hang in there: thing'll get better.

I know exaclt what you mean. I've always been overweight and insecure. I am also on a mission to change myself completely. Not just being overweight but. I want to be smarter, more social, and finally work on all the talents I wanted to be good at. I have a goal to get all this done by the time my second next birthday comes around. Don't give up! I know we can do this. Just wake up everyday and tell yourself immediately how you are going to spend that day. Its what I do. Tell yourself you won't give up! I'm rooting for you. =)

Thank-you for taking the time to support me! I wish you the best of luck as well. Its good to be in the company of others who are going through the same thing.

 

 

I can relate to motavational probs: about a year ago I had a .... DARK time: depression, barely left my room, didn't eat, couldn't sleep, didn't WANT to sleep from horrible night terrors...

I did two things to keep myself sane ( due to this being cause by events I refuse to explain here ):

I wrote stories of a better place, some fantasy some realistic, where I defeated my demons and moved on.

The second was playing DAYS a lot, but that's kinda irrelavant...

Hang in there: thing'll get better.

I'm glad you were able to pull through. Thanks for your comment. I already feel like things are getting better, I feel happier than I've been in a long time.

 

 

Thank-you for taking the time to support me! I wish you the best of luck as well. Its good to be in the company of others who are going through the same thing.I'm glad you were able to pull through. Thanks for your comment. I already feel like things are getting better, I feel happier than I've been in a long time.

That's great!No, really: glad your coming through it.If I can survive a literal hell, you can be fine too.Give me a pm if you ever need to, y'know, talk or anything. =)Have a nice day/night, wherever you are. =)

Edited September 18, 201312 yr by DragonMaster
Sorry, but I have to ask that you don't double post. :)