Lalalablah

Hi, I present this Kingdom Hearts experience of mine in good faith as an exercise in recounting the murky and clear mystery of the mind. I was painting, and often times a way for me to relax is to lay the paint onto the page with no expectations of what will become. During this process I like to interpret whatever I see with an open mind. I saw a girl, who looked human but who could not be called human, unless my knowledge of human is gravely uninformed. The title of demon was suggested for this being, yet this too did not seem to capture the essence, which I shall now describe with key words: Rot, blood, rust, eternal, regenerating, parasite, red, dirty, machine-precision, smiling, cursed, survival. I was afraid when I saw her, because I saw myself in her. My darkness, my shadow. Heartless. I could not think ill of this being. I wanted to know the truth of its existence from an unconditioned perspective. When we are presented with such an image, they prompt in us the learned associations listed above as in language, which are further associated with emotions such as fear, terror, disgust, uncertainty, distrust. This sequence can happen in any order, because the connections of points flow omnidirectionally. These expressions do not necessarily belong to the raw-being imaged. Those were simply my first judgement. When I recognized my own attempt to rationalize what I was seeing consisted of these descriptors, I was able to stop that train of thought and approach from a different angle. I approached with an open mind and an open heart in an attempt to love and to learn who, what, and why, and ultimately to accept something that I did not understand. This brings me to the second painting. Again, I laid paint onto a fresh canvas with no end-picture in mind, on the same night immediately after seeing the darkness of my heart. After many layers of paint, I recognized the figure in the center as Axel. Although, he didn't look like the usual red haired Axel. He looked much scarier. And it was because of the situation that was painted around him, and the story that the image then told. For this experience I had acquired the point of view of Roxas while he was a member of Organization XIII. Roxas was looking at Axel who occupied multiple places in time. The scene began on the Clock Tower overlooking Data Twilight Town. Axel was smiling at Roxas, head hanging and torso twisted. His eyes were large empty black rings saying 'Goodbye'. Roxas was about to fall off the clock tower, again, and he remembered, this has happened before, many times. Axel was moments from falling off the ledge after him. (This part will be spoiler in case it is too dark.) After obtaining this point of view and so many emotions from it in such a short amount of time, I feel an even greater appreciation for Kingdom Hearts. Although this was an imagination, the personal knowledge acquired from this unique path has challenged me in a valuable way that I feel I have grown from, in my ability to think deeper and to process disturbing and grotesque stories, which can be very appealing when fictional, strangely, at times. After this point of view, I was curious to read the Ansem Reports, parts of which resonate to what I had seen. Those parts are boldened above. If you have read this all, thank you.

When I get Kingdom Hearts 3. Oh. Big smiles.

riku didn't fail. he is so cool.

Do you like my meme? I just made it. https://imgur.com/a/BPB3d8O</img>