Basically, I just felt like...getting it out? I guess I feel if I tell it, I might feel better about the situation I'm in?

I dunno...

 

 

Well if you really want to know,

I kinda feel like shit

 

If you really, really want to know:

A few months ago I was forced to leave my school, a bunch of people were talking to my parents about how great homeschool would be for me, but I was just...dumped at home

 

I never again heard from any counsellors or what. I was just left alone to motivate myself(Which I have trouble doing,) to do some work that I was never given And my parents never actually homeschooled me they just expected things from me when I had no idea what I was supposed to do and I was still upset over my school life being taken from me. Still, I did things and tried to be happy, I still do. But I need help, and If anything the reverse is happening to what the counsellors said the "Home school program" would bring. I'm supposed to be getting better, but I'm just getting worse.

 

My parents say that I "Dropped out" and I'm useless, they come to their own conclusions about me and my illness and bully me to the point where I lash out and try to hurt myself. Then my mood is so low I can't bring myself to do anything but write and drift into my own worlds. It a bit more than just this but yeah, rinse, repeat...

It's incredibly frustrating, I have to do lots of things and I want to but most of the time I can't. It's like my own body won't let me.

I guess that's my life now....

 

Dealing with a ugly skin condition(Trust me, your confidence gets stripped), BPD , anxiety, depression, all at the same time, no help, only harsh words, and loneliness. I'm surprised i haven t completely lost it with the things I have to put up with beside just that. But I digress, that's the story.

 

(And tbh I already feel pretty dumb for posting this, my conscience just wants to tell me "Nobody cares loser" "this isn't a freaking counselling site" *Sigh)

Edited December 1, 201311 yr by Amelia Luscombe

I'm so sorry to hear that Amelia. That just sounds horrible. 

 

But as I always say to you, you're gorgeous, funny, smart and totally awesome if other people can't see that they're stupid.

 

I care.

 

I'm always here for you Amelia.

Aww... You sound like you need a hug. I'm sorry to hear that you're going through so much. Keep it up! You're still here, aren't you? The world hasn't corrupted you yet. Stay strong!

You are a beautiful person on the inside and outside. People who cant see that arent worth hanging out with, no matter what they look or act like. I'm homeschooled and I have a disease. Its called raynauds. Its like where your fingers and toes turn purple if they get too cold. Its like ice coursing through your blood that always makes you cold. And I felt like I was always put down dfor what I look like when my feet/hands turn colors or because when someone touches me I feel like ice. I understand how you feel. If you need to talk message me on my page or something. P.s. I have ADD too thoughbits not too bad.

I am so sorry to hear all that Amelia, plenty of people here care about you, please believe that.

Yeah I have to agree with you. When it comes to education and other things even, I don't belive a word from my counselors. People always think they know what's better, when really they make it more complicated and worse. I am terribly sorry your family treats you that way. I know the feeling of un upportive family. I feel like I can relate to you well in all this. I remember when I first reached out to people on here about my problems, I was so scared people would reject me. But no, they were very helpful. I'm not sure what kind of help I can offer you, but I can tell you I support you. Don't listen to the people who try to bring you down, because they don't know anything.

My impression of you is that you're a lovely girl.  I hope all goes well for you, I truly do.

Aww poor Amelia,Nya!*hugs amelia*

oh and if you still feel like shit its ok watch this vid

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJcdnkEBPUA

Edited December 1, 201311 yr by Nur Qamarina Bt Mazlan

 my conscience just wants to tell me "Nobody cares loser" "this isn't a freaking counselling site" *Sigh)

 

 

Never ever think that. People here care about you where you choose to believe it or not.

 

 

I'm homeschooling so I know what it feels like to have no motivation or feel lonely. You can always talk to me if you feel lonely.

 

 

And as bad as this sounds, don't listen to your parents. You aren't useless. You're a fun, cool person that makes lots of people smile. I laugh whenever you make a joke. You make kh13 brighter just by being around.

 

There's too many things to say, but I'll cut to the chase. 

 

We care about you and we always will. Please don't ever believe otherwise.  If you ever need support, you have us.

I cannot for the love of my own life figure out why you were forced to leave school. That alone is a crime in itself unlike anything I can ever fathom since I value education above everything else...

 

I'm probably not getting the entire story with this one post but from the sounds of it, your parents aren't helping you emotionally but I suppose you could try asking them for help. Whenever they say that you're a 'drop out' ask them why aren't they helping you try to reintegrate into the school system again. That, or consider private school....

 

The 'ugly skin condition' and BPD, I can't relate much to you and therefore won't be much of a help. But the Anxiety, depression and loneliness is an all too familiar feeling for me; so much so in fact that I've become numb from all it. It's a feeling that I have to face everyday from the moment I wake up until the moment I fall asleep.

 

For the love of god, while you still have some humanity left in you, if you EVER feel like breaking down or need to vent, I'll try my best to be around and hear you out. And who knows, maybe even give a little help given a chance. I admit, even I have my moments (there are some who can vouch for me on this) but I'll always be more than welcome to help out others who need some form of reassurance or kindness.