I think it interesting that, if you look back on your past, you might remember yourself being a totally different person than you are now. People change over time of course, but it's when you look back and can hardly believe you could ever act that way, that's my situation anyway. I find it a bit sad to say that looking back on my past, I used to be a very cold and callous person. I'm fairly introverted, and very seldom do I genuinely open up to other people, leaving me with a rather small circle of friends, but back then I simply refused to come into contact with other people, under the assumption that, nobody really gave a damn about me. I'm ashamed of the way I acted towards those who saw me and tried to see if I was okay or even to just try and be friendly, cold-heartedly saying things like, "you're not fooling anyone, pretending to care" or "cut the act, it's not funny and certainly not a good lie". It makes me so embarrassed to remember myself as such a complete and total jerk.
This wasn't even I was just a kid and didn't know any better, this was a few years ago, and I really hate a part of myself for being that way. I've never really talked about this before, I guess it's just a little party of me that has yet to change, and I don't know who's gonna take the time to read this, but I just thought, maybe getting it off my chest would help in changing that part of me that still feels like no one cares, I've gotten more faith in human kindness, I know that people can genuinely be kind and friendly, but I'm still as shy and introverted as I've always remembered myself.
I really wish I could apologize to those I've treated so harshly, and just saying a universal " i'm sorry " here will not cut it, but sadly I have no idea where these people have gone after the couple of years
I think it interesting that, if you look back on your past, you might remember yourself being a totally different person than you are now. People change over time of course, but it's when you look back and can hardly believe you could ever act that way, that's my situation anyway. I find it a bit sad to say that looking back on my past, I used to be a very cold and callous person. I'm fairly introverted, and very seldom do I genuinely open up to other people, leaving me with a rather small circle of friends, but back then I simply refused to come into contact with other people, under the assumption that, nobody really gave a damn about me. I'm ashamed of the way I acted towards those who saw me and tried to see if I was okay or even to just try and be friendly, cold-heartedly saying things like, "you're not fooling anyone, pretending to care" or "cut the act, it's not funny and certainly not a good lie". It makes me so embarrassed to remember myself as such a complete and total jerk.
This wasn't even I was just a kid and didn't know any better, this was a few years ago, and I really hate a part of myself for being that way. I've never really talked about this before, I guess it's just a little party of me that has yet to change, and I don't know who's gonna take the time to read this, but I just thought, maybe getting it off my chest would help in changing that part of me that still feels like no one cares, I've gotten more faith in human kindness, I know that people can genuinely be kind and friendly, but I'm still as shy and introverted as I've always remembered myself.
I really wish I could apologize to those I've treated so harshly, and just saying a universal " i'm sorry " here will not cut it, but sadly I have no idea where these people have gone after the couple of years